No wonder men are tired of dating!

**Incognito** · 23rd-May-2008

Is it just me, or does this article make you nauseous too? Why the hell would the main Yahoo page feature such a ridiculous piece of nonsense like this? Holy moley...

10 First Date Tips for Men By Lauren Frances
Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: May 15, 2008

Men often complain that women are mysterious, complicated creatures who are difficult to please. In truth, most women are quite easily pleased from a date one once you know how to make them feel desired, safe, and inspired.

These 10 tips will ensure you put your best foot where it belongs... forward!

#1: A first date should be light, fun and romantic. A real first date is when you've both decided that you'd like to get together for more than a quick beverage. The female definition of a first date is this: You pick her up and make reservations. Any deviance from this time-tested formula is usually a red flag, and not what most females consider a proper first date.
Romantic Rule: Starbucks doesn't count!

#2: A long lead time. Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance.

Considerate and smart men make plans well in advance. They know that women like to be treated like they're too in demand to have huge holes in their social calendars, (even if you have intel that would suggest otherwise!) You'll create romantic tension by giving her several days to look forward to seeing you. Besides, this creates the secret ingredient of seductive success... anticipation.
Romantic Rule: Create romance by planning in advance for it.

#3: Actions speak louder than words. Women know that men invest in the things that they value with whatever resources they have at their disposal, be it cash, creativity, energy, or enthusiasm. If you make plans that are insultingly casual, it's a clear sign that you're withholding your approval from her. Women will take this lackluster performance seriously, and often shoo you away without further ado. You don't have to spend big bucks, but if you like her, why not come up with something that will delight her?
Romantic Rule: The plans you make for her, tell her the plans that you have for her!

#4: A confirming call. Being vague about your plans will only cause most women needlessly anxiety. If you men had any idea about the pre-date regime that women go through to get ready for a high priority date, you'd all be much more on top of this one. When you call to confirm your first date late, she'll be irritated and stressed-out even if she doesn't show it.
Romantic Rule: Having good manners will make her feel like you're a great bet, and not a deranged stranger.

#5: A lovebird lands on her doorstop at the appointed time. It's bad form for a man to keep a woman waiting in general, but especially so on a first date. This often puts women into a state of "dressing disorder." When men are late, most women will just keep changing outfits until the doorbell rings and then be forced to greet you mid-outfit. She'll then blame this on you, the tardy man, who should've arrived on time to avert this crisis!
Romantic Rule: If you'll be delayed longer than 10 minutes, inform her of your new ETA as soon as you can. Most women l appreciate extra time to fluff-up before you ring their bell.

#6: Signal your attraction and approval immediately. Men earn a woman's affection by consistent care and positive attention.
Men earn a woman's affection by consistent care and positive attention. On a first date, and every date, women will look for little clues that signal your desire. No matter how hot or how homely, she'll want to know that you find her fetching if she's agreed to spend quality time with you. To do this, quickly toss her a compliment. Try the old standby "You look great" or the new metrosexual classic, "Love your shoes" immediately upon your arrival. You'll have set a warm and positive tone and scored an easy point.
Romantic Rule: Quickly inspire romance and put her at ease by paying her a compliment.

#7: Woman are suckers for a man with a plan. Women love men who have the ability to care for them and about them. It's always a good sign when a man has made reservations because it's proof that you're not winging it. When you take control, it's a signal that she can relax and enjoy herself. The typical woman will also be wary of the man who asks in a whiny voice what she'd like to do.
Romantic Rule: Women assume that men who don't make reservations for them, have reservations about them!

#8: Pick up the check. If you're wondering who should pick up the first check. Please consider that women spend wads of money on first dates: there's the bikini waxing (painful), manicures, blow drys (time-consuming), lingerie (expensive), and Pilates (ridiculously over-priced). It's an investment for women to just show up.
Romantic Rule: The very least you can do is to pick her up and feed her. She's exhausted!

#9: Be a class act. If the date was a dud, don't weenie out and say "I'll call you." Just cut her loose by giving her a quick peck on the cheek and say, "Thanks for coming out tonight. It was great meeting you." That'll signal it's a wrap.

#10: Seal the deal. But if she knocked your socks off, walk her to her door, look her in the eyes, say "I had an amazing time tonight" and move in for the perfect nightcap... a goodnight kiss. If she turns her cheek, don't despair! She may not be ready for a liplock just yet. Tell her you want to see her again and set up your next date right then and there.

Lauren Frances, author of "Dating, Mating and Manhandling: The Ornithological Guide to Men," is the founder of the Institute for Romantic Research and a love coach to countless women and men around the globe, including Hollywood celebs like Kate Walsh and Amy Brenneman. Lauren has been featured on Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and Dr. Phil's "Decision." She's on the Web at laurenfrancesphdd.com. Tune in Fridays at noon (Pacific time zone) when Lauren hosts "Man Magnet Radio" on Karma Air.

**Incognito** · 23rd-May-2008

This stupid article makes it sound like men should always be thinking first of the woman, treat the woman like a princess, worry solely about her needs, thoughts, desires, etc., etc...BUT WHAT ABOUT HIS? Do his feelings, thoughts, needs, desires not count at ALL? I find this article disgusting ...repulsive on so many levels.

Men are the ones out there taking the risks..making the first moves...risking rejection, trying to make good impressions, always aiming to please. I think they deserve a hell of a lot of credit for their efforts. It can't be easy facing the risk of rejection and getting out there and doing the same thing over and over again..particularly for women in a society that views women's needs to be "so much more important" than the needs of men. Where in this article does it mention (even once!) how men should be appreciated, treated, or respected by women?

I know I don't want to be a privileged little princess. I don't want to ignore the needs of men. That article is a slap in the face to all men and a slap in the face to women who do not want to be perceived in the way the article portrays women should behave.

**Incognito** · 23rd-May-2008

I just "love" how she makes men sound non-existent (their needs don't count, they are only "there to serve") and women sound like shallow, materialistic, superficial "princess" Barbie dolls who are only interested in money, changing their outfits and fixing their hair, and what men can provide for them.

CAN I THROW UP NOW???????

**Danarus** · 23rd-May-2008

Men are tired of dating? I haven't even started yet.

...and I haven't been to Yahoo for half a decade. Glad to see they're keeping on top of things.

**Danarus** · 23rd-May-2008

One step below gynephobia.

**Incognito** · 23rd-May-2008

There is just SO much that is wrong with that article I don't even know where to start.

Besides what I've mentioned above, which is enough in and of itself.

But notice how in the first "tip" it says that the first date should be "go grab a beverage together"...sounds cool, sounds casual, sounds non-stressful, right? But then it says the man should be sure to pick her up and make the reservations...MAKE THE RESERVATIONS? For coffee??? lol! C'mon now...talk about confusing.

It's not about money...it's about time spent together. And to me a date is a joint effort. It shouldn't be "all about her" and "all about how much he spends" on her.

This article is so full of erroneous and mixed messages for both sexes...it's unbelievable. No wonder people are confused and disillusioned with dating...esp. men who feel like they have to live up to that crap and have nothing to look forward to or expect in return.

**Danarus** · 23rd-May-2008

Working every day for a week to afford one date. Those were the good old days.

**themanonthestreet** · 23rd-May-2008

WOW! Two posts in one day! I actually agreed with TERA twice in one day! The sky must be falling!

Good post TERA.

TMOTS

**Percy** · 23rd-May-2008

People who like each other enough to 'date', of course should treat each other well. Of course be attentive. Of course prepare for a pleasant evening. Of course try to be nice.

What is the point otherwise? What's the alternative?

One-sided 'Tips' like these show the alternative unfortunately. The woman might want to be a Princess but she sure doesn't seem to care for any Prince that comes along.

TERA, there is a market for a smart, intelligent, sassy, successful executive-type woman with a few years and experience behind her (like yourself, for instance) to write a much better article, book, etc.

I would also say that you are in a much better position to do so after just a few months here getting your eyes opened and letting some light in.

Feminism has opened men's eyes too.

No longer are Princes going to joust on the lawn below the Castle windows, 'proving' themselves to ingratiates and whiners whose only qualification for his attentions are long hair, tits and a smile. She is going to have to come up with a lot more than a friggin' handkerchief to tie on the end of his lance.

Nope, she can shoulder the friggin' lance herself. It's called eeeeekwaliteeee.

**Dylan MacVillain** · 23rd-May-2008

Quote from Billy

Now you see that is where you are wrong. Most men who have dated for a while have come to expect a few things. Things like nagging, bitching and complaining. It's only a matter of when.

.

Nicely and accurately put.

**Dylan MacVillain** · 23rd-May-2008

Quote from TERA

Is it just me, or does this article make you nauseous too? Why the hell would the main Yahoo page feature such a ridiculous piece of nonsense like this? Holy moley...

10 First Date Tips for Men By Lauren

Lauren Frances, author of "Dating, Mating and Manhandling: The Ornithological Guide to Men," is the founder of the Institute for Romantic Research and a love coach to countless women and men around the globe, including Hollywood celebs like Kate Walsh and Amy Brenneman. Lauren has been featured on Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Orange County" and Dr. Phil's "Decision." She's on the Web at laurenfrancesphdd.com. Tune in Fridays at noon (Pacific time zone) when Lauren hosts "Man Magnet Radio" on Karma Air.

I just noticed the title of the book: Dating, Mating, and Manhandling. I find the final word to be rather distasteful. It reveals the heart of feminism, i.e. the desire to control and manipulate men. If women really want success with men and happy relationships with them, they should boycott all "women's" books and magazines. Those are the sources from which women get brainwashed and have their minds filled with nonsense.

If women would instead just observe men- fathers, brothers, neighbors, coworkers, etc.- and really study us, listen to us, and care about us (as the women on this site do) they would amaze themselves with the success they would have in having what they actually want, i.e. a healthy relationship with a man. If they continue to read and follow the advice of these female "experts" on men, they will continue to fail miserably.

BTW, is it me, or does it seem as though most therapists, at least on TV, are women? Why would any guy go to a female therapist for any reason?

**bachelor tom** · 23rd-May-2008

It does seem like young women are more into the IDEA of intimate relationships than seriously building them - having a boyfriend is like having an accessory for such females

I think it was John Dias who recently made the point that young adults lack empathy, and thus we shouldn't expect them to really engage emotionally with others - they will be self-oriented, they can't help it

**FFFF** · 23rd-May-2008

I cant be tired of something I have never done..

I cant be the only bloke who has "dated" about as many times as he has fingers on his wanking hand?

And thats despite having skewered more kipper than most folk have waved a snake at!!