The Big HO HO NO NO.

**TheSharpenedPen** · 25th-November-2007

When Australian feminists hear the hearty laugh of Santa, they hear something that the rest of us don't. Rather than, 'ho, ho, ho' they're hearing, 'hoe, harlot, skank'. Naturally femi-speak does not translate well for most sane individuals, so I need to explain. The jolly elf is being censored because his laugh might offend women. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22761386-2,00.html

Exerpt:

Santas across Sydney are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favour of "ha, ha, ha".

Recruitment firm Westaff - which supplies hundreds of Santas across the country - has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women.

Two Santa hopefuls reportedly quit the course because of the hullabaloo of the ho, ho, ho.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He also quit.

(end exerpt)

Now the company behind the sanitized Santa campaign is trying to claim that it had never told its Santas what they could and couldn't chuckle, but, and this is a big but, Santas quit citing that this is precisely what the company was teaching them to do! The spokesperson for the feminized company said that Santa was merely being trained to be more "sensitive" and that the exact chuckle to be used would be up to the individual Santa.

Will "Ho ho ho" be replaced with "Ha ha ha" to satisfy militant feminists? That is anyone's guess. Tune in next week when we discuss important questions like: "Rudolph's Nose - Why is it red and is that offensive to women?" and "Is Mrs. Claus the one who reaaallly delivers the presents?"

I just hope that the people who come up with this crap are wearing ear muffs this festive X-mas - after all, we wouldn't want their brains leaking out their ears.

**Feminist_Scum** · 25th-November-2007

The only people who would be offended by this, are skanks, and even they're fucking idiots for being offended by it.

Ho-ho-ho-ho, in-fucking-deed.

**Percy** · 25th-November-2007

And don't even think about 'he he he'. The little girls would be insulted.

In fact, no friggin' laughing at all.

I hope Santa brings me an automatic rifle for Christmas. At least a stocking-filler clip of FMJs.

I have a boxing day list.

**christianj** · 25th-November-2007

It's just a matter of feminists getting desperate as they are the ones encouraging female to behave like "HO's".

They should be high-fiving as they have achieved another part of their doctrine..

"show women how to demonstrate their sexuality"..

Great, being a ho, is being another feminised useful idiot..

**Major Tom** · 25th-November-2007

I'm surprised those miserable femtwats haven't tried to ban Santa already to be honest - 'children sitting on an old man's knee!?!'

If this shit attempt doesn't work, they'll probably try and ban Santa altogether by claiming that he is a threat to children.

Proof:
'He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're a awake'

ZOMG!

**TheSharpenedPen** · 26th-November-2007

Quote from Major Tom

I'm surprised those miserable femtwats haven't tried to ban Santa already to be honest - 'children sitting on an old man's knee!?!'

If this shit attempt doesn't work, they'll probably try and ban Santa altogether by claiming that he is a threat to children.

Proof:
'He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're a awake'

ZOMG!

You raise an excellent point. Santa Claus is a man! Perhaps this whole santa thing, replete with: long underwear (because men are perverts), a beard (to disguise his identity), an established break and enter proficiency and the whole come and sit on me knee setup, is really just all some male conspiracy to establish a broad network of legalized pedophilia.

Maybe the bearded elf's days are numbered. Mrs. Claus may have to take the reigns so to speak, and provide the loving, tendering and non-offensive knee that modern day society is looking for.

Need we even mention jingle bells?

Jesus was a man too, so the christian rendition is likewise out. I think we should just scrap the whole holiday and start over. I'm thinking of a more gynocentric holiday motif whereby instead of stockings, we fill mock breasts and instead of a tree, which is clearly phallic in nature, we dig a hole in mother earth, form a circle around it and sing, "These boots are made for walking..."

Likewise, who ever heard of wise men? The term in and of itself is an oxymoron. These dubious characters should clearly be replaced with women who are far more intelligent than any man and this time God, who is obviously female, impregnates a man by immaculate conception. Why decorate the Christmas tree when you're just going to shove it up some man's ass anyway? Well, maybe we could keep the star on top...