"Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?"

**Incognito** · 22nd-January-2010

Yahoo Personals, May 2009

Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?

Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.

What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does.
He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

It works like this: Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value. Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.

The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/si...ys-finish-last

**6ame** · 22nd-January-2010

I didn't read it, but nice guys finish last because women want to be in a constant state of being pissed off. It's not money, good looks, romance, or any other crap they try to say, it's simply to be forever unhappy, ironically that makes women happy, hence nice guys finishing last.

**shaazam** · 22nd-January-2010

Zsa Zsa Gabor reiterated what was enunciated in a pop song a while ago - I am a a material girls and live in a material world

Zsa said "I believe in house keeping when I divorce I keep the house"

that is guys whether you are boring or not they only want you as means to to their end as acquiring material things eg you assets your future earnings your children

I may have mentioned it before rent don't buy

let them earn their own grits

**Percy** · 22nd-January-2010

Some women have appalling taste.

**shaazam** · 22nd-January-2010

wimyn simply despise men they can manipulate and that is a fact

such guys are set to paying for her whims as they occur in fits and starts and to be their patsy for mistakes which are immediately delegated to him poste haste

wimyn have the soul of cats and we all know cats roam around a bit and do their cat things - its in their genes

what do these nice guys expect hahahh

**dad_savage** · 22nd-January-2010

Oh Christ in heaven, I rarely say this sort of thing about anyone but lord the woman who wrote this article is fantastically ugly. Holy shit what a putrid hag. I must admit, though, I obtain a somewhat secret joy when she essentially writes an article blatantly stating that women are mercenary, calculating and selfish when it comes to love and relationships; not something I wasn't already aware of but it's interesting to hear from the mouth of a woman. Tera you should complain about this article, I would if I were a woman, this hag is making no allowance for the fact that some are actually decent human beings and do not date solely for personal benefit and to further a desire to engage in emotional or material acquisition.

**Gogonostop** · 22nd-January-2010

I am convinced that a significant number of women deliberately instigate drama and deliberately become unreasonable for the sole purpose of testing their significant others, to see just what they will put up with. The less the significant other puts up with it, the more self respect they have, and hence the more desirable they are. Psychological blackmail, basically.

Nice guys are into the politics of appeasement, which immediately puts them at a disadvantage. There is a way to be sensitive - at the right time, in the right measure - without appeasing people.

**byslexic_danana** · 22nd-January-2010

The usual type of bullshit article, which takes the usual step of shifting the blame from women (in this case, their poor choices in men), to guys (in this case nice guys, and their supposedly-oh-so-boring personalities).

Quote from Moron

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory.

Er, no, that doesn't equate with 'boring' or 'predictable'; well, except in your fucked-up mind, darling.

Quote from Moron

In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.

So, "nice" isn't "sexy", because.......you say it's not sexy, therefore it's not, end of, great, thanks for the 'enlightenment', what a great argument. It's pretty obvious that being nice doesn't rule out being exceptional and exciting etc etc; well, depending on what your idea of it is.

Quote from Moron

I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting

Because, of course, nice guys can't be confident, passionate and exciting?

Quote from Moron

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.

Then it shows how much you REALLY know about what attracts your own gender.

Basically another shitty article, which aims to define 'nice' as being mutually exclusive with 'exciting', 'sexy' etc, but in actual fact is just some dippy woman implying that SHE sees being nice as mutually exclusive with 'exciting' and 'sexy', and trying to justify it by shifting the blame onto men; so typical, of women. I cannot fathom how it has become widely-accepted that a guy being nice, must necessarily also be boring; mind you, there's a lot concerning women that I can't fathom.

Fact is simply thus: women have fucked-up taste in men, end of.

And, to that end, they can get treated as badly as anything, and I won't give a shit.

So, what do YOU think of this article then, Tera? Do you agree with it?