Next summer, the English and Australian cricket teams will be competing for this urn:



However, I have a better idea.

I believe the English and Australian cricket teams should instead be competing for this old hag:



Scandalously, the above native Australian, currently resides in England.

Hence I propose that if England win the next Ashes series, she should be deported back to Australia until the climax of the 2011 series, at least.

Of course, if Australia win, then we will begrudingly keep her until 2011.

However anyone who genuinely believes that the Aussies will be victorious, is as deluded as Greer.

We shall sit out the next Test then. A walk-over.

You can keep her and we shall just have a few bevvies until 2011.

Tell you what. Make it 2015.

I don't really care about cricket, but I wish that bitch would sod off.

Suggestion:

Someone local send her some property brochures for Khazakstan.