For a long time, Rexpat and Socon have been calling themselves and a certain number of other people "Real Men." And they have justified this by saying that they are really good at passing "invisible tests" and having characteristics on this "list of characteristics" which they and GL wrote. And they have said that I and others are "Fake Men" because we don't have the things on the "list of characteristics" and we failed the "invisible tests". Well there is just one problem there. This year, there is going to be a Marathon, right where I live at school. You read that right. Marathon. 26.2 miles of grueling terrain, and the ultimate test of strength, valor, and "Realness" of a man. And it is going to be me, whom they call a "Fake Man" versus what they call "Real Men". Me whom they call a "Non-Traditional Man" versus what they call "Traditional Men". I am the sum total of everything that these so-called "Real Men" and so-called "Traditional Men" hate. I am Mr. Analytical, Mr. Socially Unacceptable, Mr. Fat Ego, and Mr. Prozac all rolled into one. I am Mr. Analytical because I am very mathematical and analytical. I am Mr. Socially Unacceptable because I have never in my life given a damn about what society thinks about me. I am Mr. Fat Ego because I continue to defeat them and lord it over them even though I am Mr. Socially Unacceptable. And I am Mr. Prozac because I go into the Berserkergang rage. But still I shall conquer. Still I shall defeat every Mr. Non-Analytical, Mr. Socially Acceptable, Mr. Charity Giver, and Mr. Sane-and-Stable that they will throw at me. In other words, let's just see how "Real" these "Real Men" are when they must run against me for 26.2 miles over grueling terrain. And let's just see how "Fake" I am when faced with the same challenge. ...................................... But I am not just fighting for myself. I am fighting for every single man that Rexpat and Socon have called a "Fake Man", and have denounced and insulted their honor. And I am fighting for every single man that GL has called a "Mr. Analytical" or a "Mr. Socially Unacceptable" or a "Mr. Fat Ego or a "Mr. Prozac", and has claimed don't have traditional characters. Well tonight I shall prove that all of us DO have traditional characters. We have the characters from Traditional times long gone by. From times when men proved themselves through glorious deeds, instead of through "lists" and through "invisible tests". Because tonight there will be no "lists" or "invisible tests" for these so-called "Real Men" to hide behind. There will only be Twenty-Six Point Two Miles of grueling terrain. For if I am victorious over these so-called "Real Men", then it shall prove that we are truly the ones who are the Real Men and the Traditional Men, and all of the "Real Men" are truly the ones who are the Fake Men and the Non-Traditional Men. So all of you Mr. Analyticals, Mr. Socially Unacceptables, Mr. Fat Egos and Mr. Prozacs, and all the Others whom They have called Fake Men: Raise your arms high into the air and listen to me: There will be no charity work or 12-steppers for us tonight. Tonight is the night when we conquer. Tonight is the night when we WIN, and prove that WE are truly the Real Men, and that they are the Fake Men. And when we have defeated all of them, we shall all go to Russia to celebrate!
Siberia Rocks 
7th-February-2008
