What makes a good father?

[FFFF]

Also, Drex, it seems to me you're passing judgment on a woman you've never met.

Indeed I am, I will just say I know the type!!

[/quote]
My mother was the loner type, just as I was. At least she wanted me. And despite Dad's temper (he was sick), she stuck with him because she firmly believed in her marriage vows.

[/quote]

Marraige vows are worth nothing in reality.

If you mum dragged you through an abusive childhood just to keep a man and his resources, then she was sick too..

I wish you well alexandra, you are in the right place to learn truth, if anyone dare tell you it..

[Alexandra]

My childhood wasn't exactly abusive. Dad yelled a lot, but I was never physically nor sexually abused.

My mother is the one who worked because Dad was DISABLED. Remember, that's why his FIRST wife left him! Mom worked to supplement Dad's disability checks. My dad often said that were he able to, HE would have worked and MOM would have stayed at home! So how was my mother being an opportunist?

My mother CARED for Dad. Towards the end of his life, when he could hardly do anything, she combed his hair, she changed his ostomy bag for him, she took him to his doctor's appointments. She worked evenings, and she got up early so she could take care of Dad.

How could my mother have taken advantage of him? She could have left him. She could have kicked him to the curb like his first wife did. But she didn't!

[FFFF]

My childhood wasn't exactly abusive. Dad yelled a lot, but I was never physically nor sexually abused.

My mother is the one who worked because Dad was DISABLED. Remember, that's why his FIRST wife left him! Mom worked to supplement Dad's disability checks. My dad often said that were he able to, HE would have worked and MOM would have stayed at home! So how was my mother being an opportunist?

My mother CARED for Dad. Towards the end of his life, when he could hardly do anything, she combed his hair, she changed his ostomy bag for him, she took him to his doctor's appointments. She worked evenings, and she got up early so she could take care of Dad.

How could my mother have taken advantage of him? She could have left him. She could have kicked him to the curb like his first wife did. But she didn't!

You have much to learn, dear child.. Women love disabled men, especially attention whores / martyr complex types with a captive..

Skanky women often treat men like captive pets, and no doubt much of his anger was a result of her entrapment of him..

Then again, a disabled bloke soon learns to put a good face on even the worst case scenario..

Such as only having SMS types to choose from....

You were denied your father, that in itself was abuse..

You mother could have made some efforts to ensure you had a relationship with him, but no, much easier and more profitable to just target the nearest crip who will be greatful to be her emotional leanto/punchbag in exchange for easy cunt he would otherwise not get..

Your mother was obviously easy, no doubt, or was it a "mistake" when she get herself up the duff with a loser in the first place?

Bullshit!!

[Alexandra]

You obviously don't know my mother.

My birth father wants NOTHING to do with me. His parents even said so. My mother had been hoping to marry him but he pulled the "I'm a divorced Catholic" excuse...yet it didn't stop him from remarrying years later.

He also cut the brake lines on his ex-wife's car.

Now despite that, I would not mind having a father-daughter relationship with him. My cousin (his nephew) says that the rest of the family is curious about me. Did you miss the part where Dad called him up and told him I was interested in speaking with him? I'm actually a very forgiving type.

Drex, it seems to me that whatever I say it's not going to be good enough, and you're dragging my mother's character through the mud when it doesn't need it. My dad had a WORSE temper when married to his first wife, who cheated on him right and left--SHE was the opportunist who married him to get out of a foster home, then kicked him to the curb when he was down.

[FFFF]

You obviously don't know my mother.

My birth father wants NOTHING to do with me. His parents even said so. My mother had been hoping to marry him but he pulled the "I'm a divorced Catholic" excuse...yet it didn't stop him from remarrying years later.

He also cut the brake lines on his ex-wife's car.

Now despite that, I would not mind having a father-daughter relationship with him. My cousin (his nephew) says that the rest of the family is curious about me. Did you miss the part where Dad called him up and told him I was interested in speaking with him? I'm actually a very forgiving type.

Drex, it seems to me that whatever I say it's not going to be good enough, and you're dragging my mother's character through the mud when it doesn't need it. My dad had a WORSE temper when married to his first wife, who cheated on him right and left--SHE was the opportunist who married him to get out of a foster home, then kicked him to the curb when he was down.

I aim is to challenge prejudiced ideas that the feminazi's use as their stock in trade..

Your mothers character speaks for itself. She got pregs by a man who was clearly unsuitable, then went on to get her next man..

Was there ever a DNA test to prove who your REAL father was?

Dont believe all you are told, every story has many sides to it and rarely is it worth looking that deep into it..

Unless you are actually the one who it is all about..

I dont believe in the "poor defencless little woman let down by the nasty man" bullshit..

Would it not perhaps have been NICE for you to have a relationship with your father?

Unilaterally blaming fathers for "dessertion" is the oldest trick in the feminazi handbag..

She could have had a few blokes on the go, she obviously did not hang around for long after you were born did she?

Still, at least she gave birth to you and I suppose she did what she had to do..

[Alexandra]

There was no such thing as DNA tests in 1973.

I saw a picture of my birth father and my newborn picture looks EXACTLY like him.

Plus--why did he sign papers admitting paternity if he wasn't it? I do have copies of those!

I am no misandrist, but that doesn't mean I can't recognize that some men aren't so great. These are men who give the feminists ammunition.

If he really wanted to be in my life, then why did he sign over his parental rights? My stepfather could not have adopted me without that signature!

My dad was not against me having a father-daughter relationship with my birth father. He was willing to help me. He CALLED him and got yelled at.

At least I had someone to call Dad. Too many children nowadays don't.

[FFFF]

There was no such thing as DNA tests in 1973.

I saw a picture of my birth father and my newborn picture looks EXACTLY like him.

Plus--why did he sign papers admitting paternity if he wasn't it? I do have copies of those!

I am no misandrist, but that doesn't mean I can't recognize that some men aren't so great. These are men who give the feminists ammunition.

If he really wanted to be in my life, then why did he sign over his parental rights? My stepfather could not have adopted me without that signature!

My dad was not against me having a father-daughter relationship with my birth father. He was willing to help me. He CALLED him and got yelled at.

At least I had someone to call Dad. Too many children nowadays don't.

There are many reasons why men turn their backs on their responsibilities.. Its too easy to dismiss them as deadbeats, but, at the end of the day, women have all the options and men are given very little. Some men just cant cope and will walk away, women sometimes leave a man with so few options that he is forever having "hobsons choice"..

Men move on in their lives, they have to and the fact that he remarried obviously means he was not particularly averse to women as such, just your mother, so you may or may not want to consider what it was about your mother that the man who gave you life did not want..

I guess, the fact that your mother was looking for her next mug just as soon as you were born speaks volumes..

And, you wonder why he may have got angry at some fuckwit ringing him acting as the father of HIS child asking him to live up to his responsibilties?

You cant be that dumb surely!!

If you want answers, try and contact your real father now.. Thats the way..

But i somehow think you will be much happier believing what you have been fed by your alienating mother and stepfather..

[julie]

Drex, you set Alexandra and then you attacked her. So what is going on for you because it is obvious that you as a sperm donor would be put down.

Are you aware that you yourself have 3 single mothers out there? Most times in life you get respect by giving respect.

And why is it that you feel comfortable to put single mothers down and yet I hear no mention of single fathers. I would think that single mothers give single fathers a break. I know of one single father who has 4 children. The women in the community would bring around cakes and home made pies to help him out. Do you realise that you yourself are a single father?

And we have 2 youngish single mothers in our group whose husbands died only just this year. Calling all single mothers skanks is silly. If men don't want women to judge them so easily then why are you doing unto others what you don't want them to do unto you.

[Alexandra]

There are many reasons why men turn their backs on their responsibilities.. Its too easy to dismiss them as deadbeats, but, at the end of the day, women have all the options and men are given very little. Some men just cant cope and will walk away, women sometimes leave a man with so few options that he is forever having "hobsons choice"..

Men move on in their lives, they have to and the fact that he remarried obviously means he was not particularly averse to women as such, just your mother, so you may or may not want to consider what it was about your mother that the man who gave you life did not want..

I guess, the fact that your mother was looking for her next mug just as soon as you were born speaks volumes..

Um, she wasn't *looking*. My uncle brought him home to be reunited with the family that cared for him for 5 years, and he happened to see me--at one month old--with my mother. DAD decided he wanted to marry Mom and adopt me. He was close to my mother's family...he called his mother-in-law "Ma" and she referred to him as her son.

And, you wonder why he may have got angry at some fuckwit ringing him acting as the father of HIS child asking him to live up to his responsibilties?

You cant be that dumb surely!!

You have it wrong. By then I was almost 21 years old. I just wanted to meet him. Remember that he had signed away his parental rights when I was a baby. Still, I'd like to get to know him, no matter how vindictive my relatives have said he could be. He may have mellowed out, who knows?
If you want answers, try and contact your real father now.. Thats the way..

But i somehow think you will be much happier believing what you have been fed by your alienating mother and stepfather..

My mother was not the one who alienated me from my birth father. He didn't want to own up at first. In fact Mom and Dad always said that he was missing out.

I'm not sure if I should contact him. From what I heard through the grapevine, my birth father found out about my visit to his parents and he got really mad. That was 13 years ago...but I'm not sure if I should try to contact him. As I've said, I've been e-mailing with his nephew--my cousin--but we haven't been in contact much because he's in Afghanistan.

I know fully well my mother wouldn't lie to me and try to alienate me from him. I wouldn't mind seeing him so he can see his little grandson...my little boy. I wonder if his mother would like to see her great-grandson. I have a younger half-brother I never met.

[FFFF]

Drex, you set Alexandra and then you attacked her. So what is going on for you because it is obvious that you as a sperm donor would be put down.

Not sure what you mean by that.. Woman wants, woman gets.. Us men are here to serve, surely thats a noble thing!?

Are you aware that you yourself have 3 single mothers out there? Most times in life you get respect by giving respect.

3? And the rest!! Mutual respect is a great thing, something that is increasingly hard to find when females dont live up to their sides of the deal, because, they dont need to!!

And why is it that you feel comfortable to put single mothers down and yet I hear no mention of single fathers. I would think that single mothers give single fathers a break. I know of one single father who has 4 children. The women in the community would bring around cakes and home made pies to help him out. Do you realise that you yourself are a single father?

It may surprise you to know that I dont put down single mothers as a group, I am sure that the majority of them are acting in a logical and responsible enough manner (given the current social climate). Some, however are truly questionable..

And we have 2 youngish single mothers in our group whose husbands died only just this year. Calling all single mothers skanks is silly. If men don't want women to judge them so easily then why are you doing unto others what you don't want them to do unto you.

As above, I dont call them all skanks, just the ones that obviously are..

Folk can judge me all they want, and indeed they do, so, I judge in return as the good book says..

[julie]

Not sure what you mean by that.. Woman wants, woman gets.. Us men are here to serve, surely thats a noble thing!?

3? And the rest!! Mutual respect is a great thing, something that is increasingly hard to find when females dont live up to their sides of the deal, because, they dont need to!!

IMO it is not a good thing you do. You would be better off helping out families were there is a mum and a dad. Maybe be a real sperm donor and help out couples instead of single women.

And please tell me your definition of a good father from your perspective.

Folk can judge me all they want, and indeed they do, so, I judge in return as the good book says..

Do you judge them in return or do you judge others who don't judge you.

[FFFF]

Um, she wasn't *looking*. My uncle brought him home to be reunited with the family that cared for him for 5 years, and he happened to see me--at one month old--with my mother. DAD decided he wanted to marry Mom and adopt me. He was close to my mother's family...he called his mother-in-law "Ma" and she referred to him as her son.

Not sure what this is all about.. As for not looking, well women always say that and of course she was not responsible for any decision making in this regard??
Moved on pretty fast eh?
Interesting...

You have it wrong. By then I was almost 21 years old. I just wanted to meet him. Remember that he had signed away his parental rights when I was a baby. Still, I'd like to get to know him, no matter how vindictive my relatives have said he could be. He may have mellowed out, who knows?
If you want answers, try and contact your real father now.. Thats the way..

If you wanted to meet him, then maybe you should have tried to contact him yourself.. Maybe he would have preferred that, being a father myself, I certainly would much prefer my kids to approach me rather than some bugger they had been calling "dad" all thier lives..

My mother was not the one who alienated me from my birth father. He didn't want to own up at first. In fact Mom and Dad always said that he was missing out.

You need to know why though. What was it about your mother that he did not like?

I'm not sure if I should contact him. From what I heard through the grapevine, my birth father found out about my visit to his parents and he got really mad. That was 13 years ago...but I'm not sure if I should try to contact him. As I've said, I've been e-mailing with his nephew--my cousin--but we haven't been in contact much because he's in Afghanistan.

I know fully well my mother wouldn't lie to me and try to alienate me from him. I wouldn't mind seeing him so he can see his little grandson...my little boy. I wonder if his mother would like to see her great-grandson. I have a younger half-brother I never met.

I wish you luck and a good outcome whatever you should choose to do. i would not believe your mother, she is obviously biased.. Maybe you will find your father has indeed "mellowed" and can give you the answers from his own mouth.. Best way..

Your decision.. Would probably be an interesting thing for you to do, hope it works well and you get satisfaction..

[FFFF]

IMO it is not a good thing you do. You would be better off helping out families were there is a mum and a dad. Maybe be a real sperm donor and help out couples instead of single women.

I dont actually donate sperm as such and if you think a man who will give away his sperm without giving a shit about his personal responsibilties to his offspring is a better man than a man who has intentions to be a good father but is booted out then you are thinking as twistedly as the feminazi's.. 50% of relationships at least, end up as single parent ones!!

And please tell me your definition of a good father from your perspective.

A man who does his best for his kids and their mothers. I cant think of much other than that because its hard to really know in todays society just what is the best thing he can do!!

You seem to suggest that dumping a load into a test tube for someone who wants it makes a man a good dad..

Do you judge them in return or do you judge others who don't judge you.

Everyone judges others, if they dont, they are failing.. Its only when folk judge unreasonably that the issues arise..

One of the failing of the feminist shite is that they say "dont judge" but yet, they do themselves..

So, I call them on their bullshit..

[IronLady]

Any man can be a father...but not every man can be a daddy.

Case in point: My mother became pregnant with me out of wedlock, my father basically dumped her. He claimed he couldn't marry her because he was divorced (he was a Catholic last I knew--yet years later he remarried, go figure).

When I was three months old my mother married my stepfather, and he adopted me. I considered him as my father. He gave me his name and he helped raise me.

Now mind you I'm not saying all men are like that--dump the woman. But my birth father was like that.

At least my mother wanted me from the get-go.

It says in the Talmud (Jewish religious writings) that "The true father is not the one who sires the child, but the one who raises him".

Your situation illustrates that, I'd say!

[IronLady]

My mother is not exactly what I'd refer to as a skank. She made a mistake. She made sure that I didn't make the same mistake she did. And at least I had a father, even if he wasn't my biological father. He'd known me since I was one month old.

My birth father wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. In fact, I didn't know about him until I was 20...when I found out Dad wasn't really my father. Dad actually CALLED him when I wasn't home and my birth father told him to leave him alone and he STILL denied me! Dad did not mind if I had a father-daughter relationship with this guy!

Months later I got the guts enough to go to my birth father's parents' house. I really did! They told me that my birth father had told them that I could have been anyone's child (I know next to zip about my mother's history there and I'm not even going to ask), but I pointed out that I had papers that he'd signed admitting to it.

From what I hear, my birth father was really honked off because apparently his current wife didn't know anything about me. Now whose fault was that?

And for all that, I'm no feminist.

Alexandra, you have no apologies to make to anyone, nor do you need to offer any explanations.

Personally, I see a lot of similarity between your situation and mine. Despite what your birth father did, you are still not a man-hating feminist. I suspect its because your adopted father stepped into the void, and replaced any negative image you may have had of your birth father.

That's a bit similar to what happened with me...I was abused by my mother's brother, and if my father had not stepped into the void and protected me from further abuse at his hands, who knows which side of the gender divide I might have ended up on?

When a strong man undoes the damage done by a weak man, everyone benefits, IMO.