I am re-introducing myself because people change in 'time'

[Oneinthree]

I've come to learn the men that have a go at me have it all

I had a go at you a few months ago because there were logical flaws in what you said. You just ignored all my questions.

How does it follow from that, that I "have it all"?

Just because we "have a go" at you doesn't mean we have it all. You can't trivialise people's arguments that easily.

"You are in control of your life, you need nothing and will succeed greatly"

.

That doesn't sound to me like you're trying to empower us. It sounds like you think we can just click our fingers and everything will be fine.

No one would take me seriously if I presumed to speak for your experience of inequality. What makes you think you can speak for mine?

[Zuberi]

No one would take me seriously if I presumed to speak for your experience of inequality. What makes you think you can speak for mine?

Exactly!
It's nothing more than a fucking sham!!

[Trauma Fried Brains]

One day at a time TFB. That's all that is expected when you know life like you and me. It's a real hard day at times, for it's real hard to like the environment we live in. Sometimes, yes, I know, it's like "What was this day about or week or month". Existing is hard but a good day is good is it not? If all you have is a breathe, is there not some hope to make you breathe?



You won't if it the choice is taken away from you.... you will fight for your life.

What you need to find is a reason to live. Tell me of your reason to die but backwards from today.

I know it’s natural for you to project your humanity and try to reach others.

But this is not something I would elaborate publicly.

You started this string to tell us more of changes you’ve embraced, and my shit is a distraction to that.

[Rof L Mao Esq]

On the topic of knowing a thing or two about each other, I observe two traits in your writing so far.

One is that you seem to believe that being a man is "easy" somehow, as if being female were some sort of disability and men, not having that condition, somehow are free to function in a way women cannot. This is a standard argument in marriage and in male/female relations, and it gives me the impression that oftimes a woman's issues are not with men but with nature itself, having given you periods, labor, menopause, etc. Men somehow are often accused by default of occupying a privileged status for no more than this, but the women making these claims seldom stop to consider that men are no more accountable for the equipment they were issued than women are, and that we have problems of our own, such as an economic and political model designed primarily for the entrapment, humiliation and subjugation of men.

The other is revealed by the story of your friend from the US and what you think of him. I would not presume to challenge the validity of your feelings, and only seek to illuminate the meaning of your emphasis. Women who openly despise and distrust men (not that you are one, I don't think you are) will often attach themselves to individual men who will sacrifice and martyr themselves, and allow this one individual some sort of exempt status from the condemnation of manhood as a whole. How many so-called "independent" women have I know with some princely man friend who will fix their car or replace a faucet for them for free out of kindness, often a man with unrequited feelings of affection for the woman, using mechanical favors as the only means available to express his feelings for her, as she goes on projecting her pride that she doesn't need men at all to the larger world.

It really is a shame that gender relations have become so stilted and cautious and unnatural, and that women must use sex and men their mechanical abilities just to say to each other, "I like you, you make me feel good".

I wish I could come over to NZ and just be your friend. Good luck with your sons and congratulations on getting them back. No such luck with my boy, stolen by his mom. Please just enjoy and reflect on my writing and don't take it too personally. Hope to go round and round some more with you...

[Oneinthree]

One is that you seem to believe that being a man is "easy" somehow, as if being female were some sort of disability and men, not having that condition, somehow are free to function in a way women cannot.

Once again Dinohip, you are saying what I'm thinking. In Julie's defence though, I have seen this from virtually everyone I know out there when gender issues are raised. Most people are saying that being a man is easy. But for every man that says it at least, there is a voice screaming down in his soul...

[Oneinthree]

Come on Julie - how do we "have it all"? What is it about being a man that makes everything so easy?


Is it the way our unborn children can be aborted without our knowledge or our consent?
Or denied access to our older children by a prejudiced court system?

Is it that we are 16 times more likely to be sent to prison, or 3 times more likely to commit suicide?


Is it the way the academic process is slanted against us because three quarters of all teachers are women, who can't relate to their male pupils?


Is it because 92% of rape complaints against us are not proved, but absolutely no one is prosecuted for making a false claim of rape?
Is it because our money is drained defending ourselves against these allegations?


Is it because a woman can legally rob us of half of everything we've earned in our life just because we were married for a few weeks?


Is it because we are dying much earlier than women, because we don't have equal access to healthcare? Or is it because the healthcare we can access only receives a fraction of the funding that women's healthcare receives?


Is it because we do all the dirty, dangerous jobs, all the jobs that break our bodies and our health, all those nasty little tasks that need to be done in all the places that women are too precious to go, and yet our sacrifice is still taken for granted?


Is it because we can be murdered, mutilated or sexually assaulted by women, and that the crime can be celebrated on mainstream TV as a legitimate act of gender-political protest?


What is it that makes you think you can tell me that I "have it all"?


Do you think that no one is entitled to judge your character by what you say? Because what you SAY is misandrist.

[KellyMac]

You should judge people by what they do, more than what they say. Julie misspeaks herself all the time as we all know. She has acknowledged freely the misandry around us and really truly cares. She's also one of the blessed few who has and continues to make a real world difference.

[julie]

Ahhhh, don’t fret Julie; you’re doing just fine. We’d always develop and ‘grow together’, nobody can stop such natural processes, they just happen and you grow along with them. I can’t help it if much of my respect for you is based on being enchanted with your classic nonsense can I?

Besides, as you’d probably guess, the only thing I’m afraid of is to keep on breathing for too long.

Oh.shite. You turned my post onto you and I love it. But I didn't realise this until now. You will do go to do my workshop and you can help me refine it. Clink the link please.

Julie just sees it all from a personal/emotional perspective and doesn't give a shit about the politics.

She's more interested in repairing the damage than fixing the cause of the damage.

She's more concerned about taking care of her own and innocent victims - just like most of us here.

That's no bad thing.

Gosh Yan Yah. I feel great gratitude. I don't know what to say.

You should judge people by what they do, more than what they say. Julie misspeaks herself all the time as we all know. She has acknowledged freely the misandry around us and really truly cares. She's also one of the blessed few who has and continues to make a real world difference.

I appreciate you think highly of me. But I didn't hold well my position till today. To be forced in to position is far different from someone who wants position or inherits position. You can't imagine people believing in you until you are in the position. I;ve always walk the walk but I am not a specialist.

Added after 24 minutes:

I had a go at you a few months ago because.....

I guess I should apologise. But I'd like to ask what do u pay me to give to u?

[julie]

I suck seed like a toothless budgie..

i D.............

[Oneinthree]

You should judge people by what they do, more than what they say. Julie misspeaks herself all the time as we all know...

I guess I should apologise. But I'd like to ask what do u pay me to give to u?

One of the biggest problems we face in this movement is that when people say or do something that is misandrist, they are not judged or held accountable for it.

I am judged by what I say and what I do all the time. People expect me to take responsibility both for what I say and what I do. If I say something I can't defend, then - like any other adult - I have to acknowledge it, apologise, and change my point of view. If I say something that I didn't mean, I am expected to clarify myself or take back what I said.

I suppose the thing that's really bugging me is, why don't you feel that same responsibility, that same expectation?

How can you be so confident that you will be taken seriously regardless of what you say? How can you say something as sweeping and dismissive as "I've come to realise that the men who have a go at me have it all", and not feel obliged to apologise for that, or justify it, or clarify it?



How do I "have it all" Julie? I am here because I was sexually assaulted by a woman who got away with it because she was a woman. I am here because the woman whom I turned to for help after my first suicide attempt laughed in my face. I have been repeatedly physically assaulted by women who got away with it because they were women. I am here because - at all the darkest points of my mental illness - a series of women enjoyed sticking rusty knives into my soul and then telling me in the same breath how caring and helpful they were being. I am here because I - and millions of men like me - face massive inequalities but are constantly being told by women like you that they "have it all", that they have complete control of their lives, and that their lives are easy.

I have objected to what you've said in the past because what you said was morally and logically flawed. How can you stand to tell me that this means I "have it all"?


Sometimes when people take a dislike to you, there is a good reason.

[julie]

I know it’s natural for you to project your humanity and try to reach others.

But this is not something I would elaborate publicly.

You started this string to tell us more of changes you’ve embraced, and my shit is a distraction to that.

In a way, I wanted to reintroduce myself so people know I am nothing special in all this. Just a woman dealing with her environment like many others. My only connection to feminists is women I know through life experiences. My connection with MRAs is for men. I can refer them on when they need assistance with things, like I can refer women on when they need assistance with things.

My connection with people like yourself has been different. I have no problem with this thread going anywhere.

I am judged by what I say and what I do all the time. People expect me to take responsibility both for what I say and what I do. If I say something I can't defend, then - like any other adult - I have to acknowledge it, apologise, and change my point of view. If I say something that I didn't mean, I am expected to clarify myself or take back what I said.

I suppose the thing that's really bugging me is, why don't you feel that same responsibility, that same expectation?

I am not upset about being disliked or held accountable. And I get through everything in life with my own 2 hands, lol.

I kinda like having a few enemies for it keeps me balanced. A few knocks now and then allows me to keep my sanity - which sounds strange but it works for me.

Sometimes when people take a dislike to you, there is a good reason.

Absolutely.

[Oneinthree]

My words have no impact at all. They change nothing. Nothing sticks to women. As long as I only use words, women will always dismiss my anger or treat it like some sort of fucking toy.

Shut me down Marx. I've got no faith in words anymore.

[felixblue]

indeed 1 in 3.. Its all yap and no action, and so many folks who yap and do action do counterproductive shit anyway, (women have a feminising agenda in the MRM, Julie shows this well..) perhaps the best folks are the ones who do the action and dont yap.. But you wont find them on here, for obvious reasons!

[julie]

My words have no impact at all. They change nothing. Nothing sticks to women. As long as I only use words, women will always dismiss my anger or treat it like some sort of fucking toy.

Shut me down Marx. I've got no faith in words anymore.

Your words DO have an impact. It's just that you are expecting me to reply as well as give your words and you forget that my time is valuable also.

Y'know, almost every time i come here to visit, the phone rings and I have to deal with other things. I think I log in about 3 times on average just to make a comment.