Meat the Cashtrati - Dating in England

**christianj** · 26th-September-2008

Meet the Cashtrati...

Love that term. We should apply that to the Mangina Politicians that cow-tow to the feminist agenda..

**Marx** · 26th-September-2008

No one even gives a thought to the man's side of it, outside the scope of is he being good to her or 'strategic' (aka trying to get into her knickers)... I agree with Tera also, it can be confusing for the woman, but that confusion is also confusing for the guy believe it or not (is this her way of saying "thanks but it ends here - i'll pay my side to ensure you realise"?)

In short, feminism created this confusion for both sides... and as ever - now everyone else has to suffer the consequences of feminism's selfishness.

Instead of telling us "men who offer to pay are being oppressive... waaaah" - why couldn't they simply change thier OWN lives? Instead, they've forced a lot of people to evaluate how to behave on dating rituals - when in reality, MOST people love to play the traditional way.

**Incognito** · 26th-September-2008

Human mating rituals...surely are messed up, aren't they? Flirting is a no-no...might be construed as sexual harassment. Silence is a deal-breaker, too, though. Expecting a woman to pay her way: an assumed sign that you don't care about her...likewise, a woman insisting on paying her own way: a assumed sign she's not interested in you. Top all of that off with unfair family laws that are biased against men, and is it really any wonder that men are going their own way??

**Percy** · 26th-September-2008

Human mating rituals...surely are messed up, aren't they? Flirting is a no-no...might be construed as sexual harassment. Silence is a deal-breaker, too, though. Expecting a woman to pay her way: an assumed sign that you don't care about her...likewise, a woman insisting on paying her own way: a assumed sign she's not interested in you. Top all of that off with unfair family laws that are biased against men, and is it really any wonder that men are going their own way??

Yep.

Taking the dick and balls and going home.

**Captain Chunk** · 26th-September-2008

Hypothetical situation: O.k. suppose somebody I'd like to get to know better asks me out on a date. He asks me to accompany him to a nice restaurant.

Now suppose I'd really like to go, but I have very limited resources and can't afford to split the bill.

Do I:

- Decline the offer graciously (give no reason or make one up to save myself the embarrassment of having to tell an acquaintance that I am nearly broke),

or,

-?????

What would you do?

Just tell them. Any guy I know, or want to know values honesty above most other things. Besides, I don't know any men who give a flaming monkey crap if the woman they go out with has any money or not. Where most men get offended is when the woman demands he pay everything, and she's got a closet full of designer shoes.

**Incognito** · 26th-September-2008

Captain C,

Understood. But it is embarrassing when you're having to admit to someone you just met that you're broke...on the other hand...guys really do take the most crucial emotional and psychological risk first (asking the woman out)...so I suppose in light of the way he risks rejection...putting himself out there like that, it's not too much to expect a woman to be able to say "hey I'd really like to go out with you, but I just don't have the money to help pay the bill." (Provided that this is, of course, the truth. No one wants to be lied to!)

**Captain Chunk** · 26th-September-2008

That's the main reason all my first dates are free. I put my creativity to work, that way she and I get to know each other with no other fetters dragging us down. If she's someone I'd like to spend more time with, and someone I won't be bored with in 15 minutes, she will respond positively to the idea. That is not to say that some of my creative first dates haven't flopped. Some have gone down, crashed, and burned for several days, if you know what I mean.

This creative free first date idea was given to me by my mom, too. She said that if she's not interested in anything other than dinner+movie (or equivalent), then I oughtta drop her like a bad habit; if I don't she will certainly become one.

On a different note, I think this date confusion arises from the fact that Chivalry has a female side, too. It has been referred to in different ways in different countries, and I've only read about it indirectly, but it was definitely there. Most commonly it was referred to "being a lady." Because it doesn't seem to be explicitly defined like chivalry, there is no way to call back to it. Men are told all of these things they have to do to be "a gentleman," but most women (younger ones ~40 and below) think that "being a lady" is dressing up real nice and purdy. This has left both men and women confused as to how to act. Some women get mad if you hold thier door. Some men get mad if the woman wants to pay for the date. The examples abound! I wish I knew how to fix it!

My younger sister is in high school, she and her friends don't like feminism very much. She even risked a suspension for calling a teacher out when the teacher was claiming that "men are all the problem with the world." The main difficulty here is that she (my sister) yearns for more traditional values, but doesn't know how to get there. There's no example to follow. I try to help, but I don't know either! So I tell her act as she would have others act on her. It's the only thing we can fall back on.

**Marx** · 26th-September-2008

One of the biggest issues, from my perspective is;

We are now taught that we can't push to pay the bill... we can't flirt... we can't be particularly suggestive... we can't hold the door... we can't pull the chair back... we shouldn't do this or that.

Basically, men are taught - to shut the hell up, let the woman lead, and do as you're told.

Most women do not want that.

If men took this to heart, dating would stop world-wide (pretty much).

So that's not an option.

BUT

If we ignore it, we stand risking upsetting the one woman who might take us to the cleaners and ruin us.

For women, if they don't behave ladilike - it won't cost them in courts.

For a man, if he doesn't act within criteria - it could land him in court.

**byslexic_danana** · 26th-September-2008

Quote from A shallow, materialistic little trollop

"He seemed like a normal guy," she recalls. "We met through friends, went out for a meal; he paid, and it was all very nice, but there was no real spark between us. So, when he called up the next day to ask me out again, I said no. The next day he sent me an invoice for my half of the meal."

The horror! Having to pay for a meal YOU ATE! Whatever next? Having to pay your own rent, water bills, electricity bills......? Of course, he only SEEMED nice, but obviously ISN'T nice, because of not wishing to pay HER half of the bill; not sure what that makes someone not wishing to pay HER OWN half of the bill, but there you go....

Quote from Another shallow, materialistic little trollop

"I've had some really low-quality dates this year," complains property developer Penny Marple, 35, "but the worst had to be the Chilean banker who picked up a pizza at Domino's, a bottle of plonk at the corner shop, and entertained me in his kitchen."

Awwww, poor little diddums! The big walking wallet didn't organise everything to your shallow little satisfaction, and you're now sulking about it. Remind us what YOU organised, again? Independent career woman, yet no intention of ever lifting a finger when it comes to dates. What is it I've said about wanting the best of both worlds? I think I'd rather date Miss fucking Marple than this trollop.

Unbefuckinglievable....

**Feckless** · 26th-September-2008

Quote from Captain Chunk

On a different note, I think this date confusion arises from the fact that Chivalry has a female side, too. It has been referred to in different ways in different countries, and I've only read about it indirectly, but it was definitely there. Most commonly it was referred to "being a lady." Because it doesn't seem to be explicitly defined like chivalry, there is no way to call back to it. Men are told all of these things they have to do to be "a gentleman," but most women (younger ones ~40 and below) think that "being a lady" is dressing up real nice and purdy. This has left both men and women confused as to how to act. Some women get mad if you hold thier door. Some men get mad if the woman wants to pay for the date. The examples abound! I wish I knew how to fix it!

I was never aware of this but you are absolutely right. If she is a lady it makes sense to act that way. Good for discussion ala "Men killed chivalry" the answer can directly by the red part. Just copy paste. Awesome!