I put myself out on a politically incorrect limb today- purposefully...and it could have negative repercussions- the worst case scenario: I could lose my job.

I give lectures at my place of employment to 20 to 30 clients every two weeks...my topics thus far: smoking cessation, anxiety, spirituality, and today's topic: "Breaking the Silence: Male Victims of Domestic Violence."

I was expressly told by my supervisor not to do this lecture.

We already have a speaker who comes in once a month that talks to our clients about DV...however, having sat in on her lecture I know the presentation to be one-sided. Females: victims, males: perpetrators. I had gone to my boss for permission to do my own presentation (a gender-neutral view), and he said no.

So I spent a couple of weeks mulling it over and decided to proceed.. not with a gender-neutral POV as originally planned, however, but with an entirely male-focused perspective instead.

The entire thing from my opening statement to the last words I spoke were politically incorrect. I introduced the group to the word, "misandry" and it's definition, biases in the media and the law, as well as family court, I talked to the group about VAWA, feminism, research on male victims of DV and female perpetrators, I discussed the Woods Vs. Shewry CA court of appeals decision, as well as gave some well thought out information to men on how to successfully get restraining orders and how to protect themselves. I handed out a list of resources in WA state (they were few, unfortunately) that help men with DV issues. I answered questions...I listened to clients' real life stories about their experiences with DV and the law. I spoke of types of control that are common to women who abuse (emotional terrorism, using children as pawns, misusing the legal system to intentionally do harm.) Both the men and the ladies participated in a positive way in this...it was awesome.

The clients really liked it, and many shook my hand when it was over...and surprisingly, a couple of those people were women!

Looking at the lecture schedule after the fact, I realized, the lady who does the routine monthly DV lecture is scheduled to do hers the day after tomorrow. Knowing what she will present, and what I have already presented, may cause a bit of a stir...

...and it's likely to have repercussions...

..and I'm a little bit ...afraid of what they might be.

But I am not sorry. (Though that's easy to say now, since I have yet to be fired..) Whatever comes from this, I know that my integrity is intact.

The silence does need to be broken!

Very brave of you tera!

I dont personally swallow all the "DV" bs as I have often said, its a hysteria driven tool of the family destruction brigade and it often takes a while for folk to see what it is REALLY about..

And even when the few do see what it is about, they end up left with no answers that make "politicaly correct" sense, and one answer that they dare not consider, as it it the MOST politically incorrect of all!!

Brave...stupid...maybe both. It's the middle of an economic recession. In fact, my supervisor (upset with the house-managing staff) informed everyone (counselors included), in writing, that all of our jobs are "easily replaceable."

I guess we'll see how it goes. The DV speaker gives her lecture on Monday (day after tomorrow) and I'm not scheduled to work again until Tuesday. So if there's fallout, I will know more about it then.

Good job. To be honest, I find it a lot more fulfilling to be politically incorrect because it's moral. I don't see why I'd be dishonest so that I'd be politically correct. Be proud of yourself. :P

I remember being a member of this forum about fragrances and I told people there that political correctness is a disease and they couldn't understand why! And there were some really smart people there that said that.

Originally Posted by RebelliousVanilla

Good job. To be honest, I find it a lot more fulfilling to be politically incorrect because it's moral. I don't see why I'd be dishonest so that I'd be politically correct. Be proud of yourself. :P

I remember being a member of this forum about fragrances and I told people there that political correctness is a disease and they couldn't understand why! And there were some really smart people there that said that.

Thanks, RV.

I think you deserve a standing ovation for bravery and dedication tera!!

Putting oneself on the line for the cause is always the hallmark of the true activist!!

Originally Posted by haahoo

I think you deserve a standing ovation for bravery and dedication tera!!

Putting oneself on the line for the cause is always the hallmark of the true activist!!

Thanks. You know, there was deep appreciation in the faces of the men I was speaking to.. particularly when I talked about misandry in our culture and how it has an effect on the way men are viewed by society. I guess I was quite passionate about it. It really bothers me that men are disrespected and demeaned in our media and treated as dispensable. Looking out into the audience I could see that men were leaning forward in their chairs and they were literally hanging on every word I was saying, many times I saw heads nodding in agreement. It was as if no one had ever really validated their thoughts, feelings, and experiences in this area before. A few were brave enough to tell about some of their personal experiences...and it was really, really cool. The part that was tricky was to present this information in such a way as to motivate change and at the same time not offend women. Now scold me for that if you must, but I promise you I held nothing back just because women were in the audience. It was not necessary to demean women in order to validate men. I kept both genders engaged in what I was saying.

It may sound corny but I said a little private prayer before I went up to speak. I knew I was attempting something that hadn't been attempted before at my work, and I wanted a little bit of courage to follow through and to present in a way that reached people not just socially or politically, but spiritually.

I actually think I may have succeeded.

I want to say thanks to Marx, for providing this forum as a means to learn about misandry and men's rights. I want to say thanks to Percy for being tolerant, wise, and willing to share his wisdom in ways that have helped me grow. I want to thank you, Haahoo, for continually reminding me that activism is a "doing word" not a "sit on your ass and talk about it" word. I want to thank many members here for sharing their experiences- disappointments, pain, personal strengths, and victories. They've taught me much as well.

Now I just pray that I won't lose my job over it. It really is the worst case scenario. I am new at my position, and probably am easily replaceable.

If I was your boss, I'd promote you if you did something that was never done before and was important, like this. But again, in a political correct world, you might get fired.

And to be honest, I get more offended by feminists treating women like retarded kids that are unaccountable for anything than women getting blame for the things they do. Making mistakes and being held accountable leads to growth. Besides, as long as you don't stereotype, like the feminists do, I don't see why they'd get offended anyway.

Originally Posted by RebelliousVanilla

If I was your boss, I'd promote you if you did something that was never done before and was important, like this. But again, in a political correct world, you might get fired.

And to be honest, I get more offended by feminists treating women like retarded kids that are unaccountable for anything than women getting blame for the things they do. Making mistakes and being held accountable leads to growth. Besides, as long as you don't stereotype, like the feminists do, I don't see why they'd get offended anyway.

Thanks, RV. One of the coolest things about this experience is that the women in the audience were able to hear directly from men on men's experiences, and they got to hear information presented by a woman. In that sense, it was less threatening, and a few were able to open up and also share their personal stories and experiences either as people who had loved ones (men) in their lives who've suffered from DV or emotional blackmail, or as women who, perhaps came to a realization that they themselves might have a history of abusing men. To see the flashes of awareness in their faces was well...it's hard to describe.

It was awesome that this event did not turn into a controversy or gender war. The dialogue was valuable for all involved, including me.

BTW...I agree with what you said about feminists treating women as if they were less than capable, and less than responsible or accountable.

Originally Posted by TERA

I put myself out on a politically incorrect limb today- purposefully...and it could have negative repercussions- the worst case scenario: I could lose my job.

I give lectures at my place of employment to 20 to 30 clients every two weeks...my topics thus far: smoking cessation, anxiety, spirituality, and today's topic: "Breaking the Silence: Male Victims of Domestic Violence."

I was expressly told by my supervisor not to do this lecture.

We already have a speaker who comes in once a month that talks to our clients about DV...however, having sat in on her lecture I know the presentation to be one-sided. Females: victims, males: perpetrators. I had gone to my boss for permission to do my own presentation (a gender-neutral view), and he said no.

So I spent a couple of weeks mulling it over and decided to proceed.. not with a gender-neutral POV as originally planned, however, but with an entirely male-focused perspective instead.

The entire thing from my opening statement to the last words I spoke were politically incorrect. I introduced the group to the word, "misandry" and it's definition, biases in the media and the law, as well as family court, I talked to the group about VAWA, feminism, research on male victims of DV and female perpetrators, I discussed the Woods Vs. Shewry CA court of appeals decision, as well as gave some well thought out information to men on how to successfully get restraining orders and how to protect themselves. I handed out a list of resources in WA state (they were few, unfortunately) that help men with DV issues. I answered questions...I listened to clients' real life stories about their experiences with DV and the law. I spoke of types of control that are common to women who abuse (emotional terrorism, using children as pawns, misusing the legal system to intentionally do harm.) Both the men and the ladies participated in a positive way in this...it was awesome.

The clients really liked it, and many shook my hand when it was over...and surprisingly, a couple of those people were women!

Looking at the lecture schedule after the fact, I realized, the lady who does the routine monthly DV lecture is scheduled to do hers the day after tomorrow. Knowing what she will present, and what I have already presented, may cause a bit of a stir...

...and it's likely to have repercussions...

..and I'm a little bit ...afraid of what they might be.

But I am not sorry. (Though that's easy to say now, since I have yet to be fired..) Whatever comes from this, I know that my integrity is intact.

The silence does need to be broken!

At least you worked up the imaginary balls to break the silence!
Yes, there will be repercussions!
I should know, one of my high school English teachers was a feminist!
You can pretty much guess how she reacted when I told the class what I think of feminism and modern women!

Yes tera.

It is good when one is in a position to do such enlightening work, and one takes the opportunity to do so..

All activists and would-be activists are always wondering "what can I do? How can I be more effective?"

Many try different ways, then see nothing come of it, and then stop..

This "war" is often defined as a "gender war", but I dont see it as such personally..

If it is a war against "inequality" I dont see the inequalities being "gender based" I see them as being "power based"..

There is a great inequality of power, between those that have it, and those that dont have it..

The feminists like to make the claim that women are the ones that dont have it..

But thats apeshit...

Maybe SOME women dont have A LOT of power, but a hell of a lot more men have PRACTICALLY NO POWER!!

And men who HAVE power, are expected to cede that to women, under any culture, feminist led, or traditional..

Promoting the idea of "male dv victims" is a direct threat to the system, because the concept of "DV" was created purely for the purpose of extricating women from relationships with men, for the "higher" state purpose of breaking relationships and families, to enable the state to have a more direct say in the lives of the individuals concerned and "mould" them to a better compliant condition..

Empowering men with "equal rights" in the DV game could, theoretically, mean that the family gets split, but the WOMAN ends up with "the blame"..

The femistate will not like that!! So, they would rather CLOSE all facilities for DV for both genders, than allow MEN to profit in some way!!

Oddly, that would, perhaps, be a win!!

Originally Posted by haahoo

Yes tera.

It is good when one is in a position to do such enlightening work, and one takes the opportunity to do so..

All activists and would-be activists are always wondering "what can I do? How can I be more effective?"

Many try different ways, then see nothing come of it, and then stop..

This "war" is often defined as a "gender war", but I dont see it as such personally..

If it is a war against "inequality" I dont see the inequalities being "gender based" I see them as being "power based"..

There is a great inequality of power, between those that have it, and those that dont have it..

The feminists like to make the claim that women are the ones that dont have it..

But thats apeshit...

Maybe SOME women dont have A LOT of power, but a hell of a lot more men have PRACTICALLY NO POWER!!

And men who HAVE power, are expected to cede that to women, under any culture, feminist led, or traditional..

Promoting the idea of "male dv victims" is a direct threat to the system, because the concept of "DV" was created purely for the purpose of extricating women from relationships with men, for the "higher" state purpose of breaking relationships and families, to enable the state to have a more direct say in the lives of the individuals concerned and "mould" them to a better compliant condition..

Empowering men with "equal rights" in the DV game could, theoretically, mean that the family gets split, but the WOMAN ends up with "the blame"..

The femistate will not like that!! So, they would rather CLOSE all facilities for DV for both genders, than allow MEN to profit in some way!!

Oddly, that would, perhaps, be a win!!

Actually, women have no power, that's why so many of them eat up the wretched lies of feminism!
Nothing better than self imposed misery!

Very courageous Tera. And Professional.

A counsellor has not just lost the plot when she let's mendacity rule and fails to show her clients the truth, but thrown away the 'Duty of Care' manual.

But it does put you in the administrative frame.

It is fortunate that Political Correctness is a two-edged sword with a handle large enough for two hands. Any threat to 'dismiss' you can only be over the disobediance issue.

You have a PC defences in a Tribunal.

First of course is that you are a woman and can claim bias. You only have to ask if a man would have been given that instruction to deliberately not tell the truth to a group of clients. The onus is on the Employer to show he wasn't being biased and the whole set up Tribunal works against the employer. There is no way he can 'prove' non-bias, and he has to or lose the case.

I take it that the instruction was specific to you. I don't hear you saying that other counsellors wanted to do the same as you. The employer must show evidence that a man has been treated the same.

The nature of what you wanted to show the clients was Gender Neutral so there is an inherant bias aspect in the current program provision that the employer would have to address in the Tribunal too. The Employer is already behind the 8 ball. The employer would have to show 'just cause' to deliberately make the current presentation and subsequent ones gender-biased. Simple repetition of "gender-bias" in front of the Tribunal will set hair alight.

A secondary line of defence is the Professional Judgement. Your Professional duty over-rules an administrative instruction to hide the truth as your judgement is the front-line, in the best interests of the client. This would be an Arguement of Standing heard in an Tribunal. You could call other counsellors to support your professional stance.

The employer can only argue that it was an administrative issue - on the grounds that a DV seminar was already provided - and your Professional arguement would be held to be superior. You were simply expanding on it and presenting further information to help clients make their own assessment. And that regardless of a Probationary status.

The employer would not be able to argue from a Professional Standing as the Ethics committee of the Employer body (The State?) would have to rule against the Employer.

I simple declaration that you will fight an 'Unfair Dismissal' would stop the employer in their tracks.

The 'replacement' cannot be found while a case is before a Tribunal. They cannot stop you working there while a case is active.

You will be a 'local hero' to the rest of the staff. So it is in the best interest of the employer to simply reprimand you rather than be taken to Tribunal.

The second hand-space on the handle can be reserved for a Lawyer if Needed!

Meanwhile, My sword is raised in Salute to an MRA.

Feminism is a war to get privileges and no accountability.