because the costs of fighting the biasness in the criminal organization called the family courts-i knew i didn't have a chance in this anti-father province called Ontario-soooo.....i will just post my take on things here.


injustice.
I am writing about the injustice that my kids and I have gone through in the legal system in ontario and from from the ppl that run it because I am a man! From police officers to childrens magistrates!
I have been a stay at home father for ten years as i have nerve damage in my lower spine which prevents me from working!!
I have been the one to feed the kids,get em dressed,cook, do their laundry, get em to sports and go to their school concerts and not to mention try and keep the house clean and do the yard work!
I lived with a very abusive women,so much so,that i had to go to her parents and doctor for help on several occasions,finally her dad took her to the hosp and got her some help,didn't work!!! The mental torture and home destroying rages continued,now I am not talkin about a three or four day tantrum here,I am talkin about a rage that would last months with no limits as to what she would say or do!! Unless the phone rang or one of her friends came over,then she would instantly stop and resort to manipulation of making me look like I did something wrong ! If one of my friends came over she would lock herself in the bedroom, I mean she was an actress and could turn the tears on like a pro when it was really her that was doing all the abusing !!! Like me asking her for help with the bills,the answers i got were,"do you think my dad asks my mother to pay bills?," or ,"those bills are in your name not mine !", I mean does it matter whos name the bills are in,after two kids and living together for ten years !!
I was constantly being threatened with things like ,"I will ruin you",'I will make sure u have no friends","you will never see your kids","you will pay me the rest of your life cause I say so"," and i would kill them before you get them", the law will never allow a man to take the kids"!- I was to scared to leave for fear of being ruined and leaving her alone with my kids!
I have been physically attacked no less than a hundred times over the ten year period and i mean having my face ripped open, bein spit on,punched in the lower back from behind where my injury is,kicked in the testicles from behind while carrying a baby,jumped on ,choked, kicked ,punched, kneed in the chest while laying down not to mention the rest of the beatings that i could go on all day about!!! My ex also took pleasure in smashing things that were important to me! It was like dealing with a twelve year old in an exteme rage!!! Also as some sort of revenge for something I did, she would blow her paycheck in the bar then blame me for, "no groceries in the house",She always threatened to say it was me that was doing the things that she was doing and people would believe her because she was a women and because my family was a bunch of losers and her family was well known and had important social status !!!
Anyways, she has been diagnosed with s.a.d. which I believe to be a mis-diagnosis and we are now seperated after there was a computer affair involving some old man from the deep states who was intent on destroying any chance of getting my partner to the doctor again-the kids did not see their mom for six months while this affair was going on,she locked herself in the computer room,would not help with any of the household chores and tore the house apart more or less treated the place like a teen-ager would treat the room they habitated-leave things where they are-the more i tried to clean the house,the more she ripped it apart finally,i tried to say something about her behavior to her dad -hoping he would get her back to the hospital-when he informed me their was nothing wrong with her and it was all in my head(holy fuck!!!) He knew perfectly well that she was in severe mental deppression! With no help from her father ,I tried to talk to her, she didn't care because whatsisname from texas was on his way to get her and he would treat her like a princess no matter what she did !!! She was totally irrational ! Saying this just to get to me!
I tried to go to the doctor and get help ,told him my concerns,and about the meds that had a reverse affect of what they were supposed to do,the meds worked good for about two weeks and then everything went to hell,she got more violent ,more depressed,more illogical,irrational and irresponsible and I was praying that she would leave as I could not convince her to go back to the doctor ! My son was starting to hate her for the things she was saying and doing!!! The doctor told me that unless the patient asks for help,that the doctor cannot do a thing to help!! He did how-ever say, he would ask her-"shit !", asking a mentally ill person if their pills are workin,now who is mentally ill, the person asking the question or the one answering it? I also,on previous visits told him of my suspicions of bi-polar disorder and that I didn't think that a family doctor was qualified to deal with her, he seemed to think he was!
Well,everything got worse(as if it could),I had breached her trust and didn't keep the abuse behind closed doors,I even went to the police for protection and filed a report that she had threatened to ,"rip her face off !", to make sure that I didn't get the kids from her and that I would go to jail!! I had to do this for my own protection, because I believed she would do something like that ,and thats how manipulative she could be, and that i would get charged for abuse !!! She always told me that the law was always on the womans side and I didn't believe her ! I thought times had changed!! Wow,was I wrong !
Then we seperated and had a contract to have the kids 50/50 that she wrote up, no support iether way, my son did not want to live at his grandparents house and wanted to stay with me in the family home(which i kept) till his mom got into her new place!!! She would not let iether of the kids do that, at the beginning, but in the end she let the kids stay with me till she got her place! She got her place finally,but my son was rebellious about staying with her and she told me on a few occasions that she didn't even want him!! I ended up having the kids a good 80% of the time and kept notes and records of the times and stuff !!! Well one of the reasons for her leaving was that she ," hated it out there !",in the country,but she always seemed to be next door to me partying,when she was sposed to have the kids and didn't ! This made my son even more resentful-towards her! I mean he knew he was supposed to be with her that week-end and here she is out partying at my nieghbours,why wouldn't he be?Well my nieghbours made no secret of the fact that she was only at their house because she started seein a guy over there and had no time to take her kids-I lost it-lost my temper big-time and did it in front of the kids which was really bad and I admit it!! I went and got help !The more she didn't take the kids the more the kids resented her, my son would phone me to come and get him and she would say yes as they were having another big fight !I knew that she would "egg" him on untill he would get angry and phone me ,so I would take the kids, so she could go party at my neighbours again!! Now if I was as abusive as she is claiming now,she certainly didn't mind putting her-self in a dangerous position by bein at my nieghbours all the time with another guy! I mean what kinda guy wouldn't lose it! She also repeatedly kept tellin my son that my son was fucked up and needed some serious psychological help,when it was her that needed the help!!! My son's councillor didn't think that there was any-thing wrong with my son whatsoever and even told me that he didn't need to come back for councilling!
My son was in AA sports and good in school ,both kids stayin with me,and doin fine,I still had the kids 80% of the time! When my ex took the kids for her turn(about time!) My son was having a hard-time dealin with his mom and her new boy-friend (the town drunk),did i mention that was another reason she left me,(drinkin)! And my son didn't want to be there again!! I mean why would he?-he was living almost exclusively with me!!
I went down town to the arena to bring his hockey equipment and watch him play hockey-my son didn't show up(nvr missed a game with me)!! I phoned the ex to see where he was-said he was losing his temper and wasn't goin to hockey !!! Hockey was his outlet for his anger!
!t was the first time he had been at his moms in a while so I told her that I would come and calm him down,as I could hear him screaming in the back-ground! When i was informed that if I came close to her house she would phone the police!-now,I really knew somethin was wrong,was never a problem b-fore ,now its like i was stalkin her!! I tried calling several times and no answer,so I left a message on her machine to call or I would be the one phonin the police! She did call but only to tell me that she dared me to phone the cops for not takin the kids to the hockey game and that i would look stupid-then hung up, before i could ask how things were! I really was concerned and finally phoned the police to go check on my son. The officer I talked to said that the police don't get into custody battles,after I informed him that this was not what its about, and pretty well had to plead with the officer to go check on my son. After about twenty minutes of my pleading and giving my reasons for him to go, He assured me that he would go and check and then call me back and let me know if everything was ok-he didn't call ! Thinking that maybe my son was in bed and that things had sorted themselves out-maybe the officer thought everything was ok and I left it at that!!! I was happy in knowin that the police went and hopefully calmed things down!!! When the kids came home the first thing they told me, was how my son had been hit and the reason he did not go to hockey was because of his nosebleed from being cut by my ex's ring,from being hit!! When I asked about the police showing up-the kids did not know what I was talking about!!! I droppped the subject! when the kids went to school on monday I went to the police station to find out if the officer went or not ?-he didn't even go and check! When I complained and told the staff sargeant what had happened the staff sargeant went and talked to the officer who said his excuse was that he couldn't find the place! I told the sargeant the officer was lieing and that the sargeant should listen to the recorded phone call ! He did! After listening to the call the sarge said with the equipment and resources at the officers disposal it should have takin the officer twenty seconds to find the house!!! So the officer had lied to his commanding officer ! The staff seargeant then asked me how the officer should be punished(like I would know!) i said that it should not happen again and that the staff sarge could do what he had to!Well then the sarge sent a detective with a family and childrens service worker to my ex's house and to my son's school(4 days after the incident) ! I don't know the result of the investigation by f.a.c.s but they seemed to feel that my son was not in immediate danger(I guess)!!!
The detective in the case went back after fam & childs serv. had finished, on her own to give my ten year old son a good old fashioned police working over by isolating him on his own and calling him a liar and telling him he was a bad big brother(he is ten)and that he needed help! ! Is this legal?it should not be! Then the detective instead of charging the boys mother,gave her advice on how she should take the kids more often as it makes her look bad ! I phoned the detective the next day to question her tactics on a ten year old and the isolation and calling him names and literally scarin the shit out of him-she actually told my son to change his story! or else! The detective then told me that it was acceptable discipline!!! Even with the previous police reports against my ex she is now getting away with beating my kids with her uncontrollable rage !!! This detective also said my son needed councilling,I mean how could his mother do such a thing ! I threatened a complaint against the detective as I believe she way overstepped her boundaries by helping someone not only out of an assault charge but giving her advice on how to take the kids away from me -the father !!! The detective then told me that if I made a complaint against her she would really put my son through hell,needless to say, I didn't file the complaint to protect my son from this abusive detective as it is a small town ! Now tell me this stuff would have happened to a woman!! Imagine a woman phonin the police for help and the police not goin !!! Thing is, my ex cut my son's nose with her ring because (she said)that she missed and cut his nose,imagine if she wouldn't have missed and caught his cheek! I believe my ex only got away with all of her criminal activity because of her parents "social position"!!! in the community.
Now the vindictiveness of my ex was coming out,"I mean how dare I phone the police on her, a woman",! She then went to her parents best friend,who happens to be a lawyer and filed a claim that I had made my son hate her and her father and got the childrens lawyer involved ! more false allegations!
When Pam(social worker) galloway called the first thing i said ,"was your a woman",-I mean after dealing with a woman detective that actually helped my ex lie and get away with child beating,! Why wouldn't I ? Never mind the fact that I had tried to get help for all the abuse the kids and I, over the years, had suffered, and there was only help for women and none for me!!! So , yeah,I was very concerned about the social worker being a woman !!!
When I met with ms. Galloway, she asked me why I said that ? I told her my reasons. Well from then on she never really heard a word that I said,I mean she went through the motions but thats about it! She already had her mind made up and was just looking for excuses to give the kids to an abusive mother who never really wanted the kids anyways unless it made her look good and was self serving-to,make me look bad !
Even with all the medical reports and police reports about my ex, and I ,with my ex's dads help -According to Pam,my ex could do no wrong! As she seen no sign of my ex's violent temper(as if she would)and because the ex's father was so supportive(fascilitative) of his daughter, that my ex should get the kids!! I told Pam that one of the reasons my ex left was so she wouldn't have to answer to anybody(for her behaviour)- This is where I thought the papertrail would be help-full - it wasn't! At least not to pam galloway!
Because pam wanted to know about my parents divorce (which i don't really remember now) I was 8 or 9 at the time ! My mother abondoned me and went on her own and disappeared ! Now pam has me pegged as woman hater who has a deep seeded hatred of women!! What a crock of shit! Why, because i tried to get help from the police and the doctor to deal with my ex'es extreme rage ? I talk to my mom now all the time!!
Now as far as making my kid hate my ex and her father -this is a lie! I was always the mom for my kids as my ex was always workin , partyin or sleepin, I was the one that took them camping to sports and stuff-their mom wouldn't come with us,ever! She would much rather stay home and go party! I think I compensated for my kids cause i knew what it was like not to have parental support and i was gonna give it to them ! My ex would only take the kids when it was self serving and thats it!
Yeah ,I will admit that me and the ex fought in front of the kids(this is not pams dreamland),and it wasn't all my fault or because of a bad relationship like pam suggests that it was! It was because of a mis-diagnosed mental illness as far as I was concerned that tore our relationship apart !! As a matter of fact we really fought when my ex went on her latest pills for a ,"severe mental disorder",again which pam dismissed as,"not that bad"! (holy fuck!!) ! When , I confronted pam about how her abuse was bad right from the day that my ex moved in 12 years ago,pam continuously said that women act that way in a broken relationships and refered to the last few months at the end of our partnership!! Pam also continued to re-assure me that she was not biased-but could not say it enough-and after reading her tranparently biased report ,I cannot believe this!!! Yes she was biassed and made every excuse to take my kids away from me regardless of the history of raising the kids and who raised them ! Pam even went so far as to say that abuse by a woman was ok as long as no one went to the hospital - which i did !! But thanx to Pams amazing selective reading abilities she never seen where or just didn't acknowledge it!! I also ended up in endless councilling sessions from the abuse and eventually so did my son-but again,this didn't count to Pam Galloway-it was a bad relation ship as far as she was concerned and thats it!!! I did go to the hospital on several occasions and Pam commended me for knowing when to get councilling,But never once mentioned why I was there!When it came to the making my kid hate his grand dad-my son is not stupid and knows that his mother is on pills for her temper and behaviour-my son counted on his grand-dad to get his mom to the hosp.again,(as it is not the first time papa took his mom to the emergency room for her temper) for help and blamed his grandad for not helpin with his moms mental illness-my son asked me on several occasions to go get pappa for help or can't pappa help? Yes,I did tell my son that pappa won't help and there is no sense in me askin him!! Was I supposed to lie?
At the end ,when the relationship disolved it was hard on every-one and yes my son was up-set with his grandad-But pam seems to think this was exclusively my fault and not the bi-polar behavior from his mom or the lack of help from pappa which my son so desperately wanted and needed-(papa in his eyes could have been a hero -instead of a zero)!!! Again ,Pam did not want to hear any of this and in her report made all kinds of mistakes recording what i said ,so i really wonder if she was listening to me at all or she was trying to make me look like a liar(I am not sure)!!! With the way that pam has used her selective reading abilities when it comes to the reports I never even got close to a fair investigation!!! Pam also said that my ex never got charged by the police when I called for help,, because i never showed any physical injury to the officers-and especially when i got kicked in the testicles(apparently I was sposed to show the officers) and again according to pam,no harm done,cause i didn't go to the hospital,the abuse was again ,"not that bad",!!! When in actuallity the kids wanted to stay with me all along because I was their primary care-giver and their acting mom !!! Now this is not,turning them against their mom it is dedication and trust to the one that raised them !! Pam never did look into the fact that my ex's father's father had died when he was 8(if pams theory works the same for losing a parent as she says for me) would this not make him a man hater? and what would the affect of this be on his kids? When I told pam about my ex being a liar and that I could prove it,with the false allegations,(my ex even tried to get my son's councillor to lie)Pam again dismissed this and left it for me to defend in court!! When I told Pam of my record keeping before and after our seperation by video and written records pam was concerned about me taping her in front of the kids(geeeez)! I got the impression from Pam that she thought this was just criminal!)It's ok to smash ,throw, degrade,attack and scream in front of the kids but not ok to video tape this behaviour! Pam was not interested in seeing my notes or the video to prove what I was saying-again putting the burden on me in court ! Now because of pams openly biased report I have gone from the primary caregiver to some kind of daddy monster that rarely gets to see my kids( a visitor)! I only took the video so that I could show my ex how bad she loses her temper so she would maybe get the help she needed! As far as the beating my son took from his mother ,again, Pam said that the mom was sorry and that somehow he deserved it because he didn't want to be there! Again,"acceptable discipline"!!! Bet lots of men are sorry but they still get charged for less and have to face a judge ! Pam Galloway also seemed to "get off" by putting me on the spot with questions that were hard for me to answer and never really gave me a chance to answer anyways!-and Pam was totally amazed that I was able to take my daughter to the hospital for a bee sting! Why?Men can't do this? When I told pam that I was not allowed to have the kids birth certificates or their health cards or copies of-she didn't seem to care,again would a man not be forced to give that kind of info to the mother of his child-not to mention that it should be a right to have that kind of information! Pam also seemed to think that my son's grades going down in school at the end of the year somehow were my fault ,but if she would have read my notes,she would have seen his grades started to go down when my kids started staying with their mother !!! Pam even went as far as using the school bus and my disability as an excuse to take the kids away!w.t.f.?
Pam also said that we should meet at a designated place because of the risk from me,what a crock! It was me in the first place that said we have to exchange in public as the verbal assaults from my ex were to much in front of the kids when I went to her house to pick the kids up! She would scream at me till her neighbours all walked outside to see what was goin on! I can also prove this!
From what i have seen and experienced in the justice system and the biasedness towards men,things have got to change!
The kids should always be with both parents when possible and not left to a person who has the power to descide and make her judgement because of an opinion on the biasedness of the system !!! I know I have the right to fight it in court-but with all the burden being put on me by the office of the childrens lawyer(liar) to prove what I have said would cost me a fortune,when if she would have done her job and read the reports,with-out predjudice,in the first place,I would have had the kids already!! or at least half the time so I would at least know they were safe! Pam seems to think that women can abuse if they want and then an ,"i'm sorry", fixes it all !!! No it does not ! women have to be held accountable just as much as the men if there is any hope of having a fair system.I would like to have an independant investigation into all of the accusations that i have made as I am not lying and if I did,I would not expect to get away with it!! Like the police and the childrens magistrate that have biased attitudes towards a mans opinion or towards men and kids as long as the woman is safe, in general !
How -ever I would like to thank the police and Pam Galloway for opening my eyes on the need for a men's rights group and the need for equal treatment !! If someone does not stand up to the biasness in the system it will never end !
People like Pam Galloway and the local police are part of the problem and not the solution!! Because i wasn't submissive when I told Pam about my feelings about the societal problems of abuse and how society always blames the man,I am supposed to be some kind of monster ! My beliefs are in fact ,"fix the problem,not the blame"!!! Pam also said that there was no evidence of my ex having a mental illness,the medical reports should be proof enough not to mention the police reports! I think pam galloway should retire from social work and move into the medical field ,I mean with her uncanny expertise of looking at people and to instantly know that they are mentally ill or not, by the way they dress,I am sure she could get a job at any hospital!! Imagine the savings to the medical system! Oh,and by the way wasn't it a social worker that had the same expertise and gave a woman her kids before she killed them! Maybe somehow it was the dad at fault! Pam has no idea that she was a tool of the manipulative tactics which my ex has an uncanny expertise at !
Experts like pam only have an opinion and thus cannot be held accountable.Opinions can vary from one extreme to another depending on whose side they are testifying for,who and what kind of accusations are made against!(even false ones)or who they want to win,not nessecarily who is right or who is best for the children! ! I can only assume that Pam Galloway was at the age of the womens rights movement and and activist where all men are to blame for everything ! I mean a social worker saying "violence is ok as long as no one goes to the hospital",or "it's not that bad"and yet she was quite concerned about the physical abuse that I went through when I was a kid-makes no sense! The words Pam used when assasinating me might as well have come directly from my ex's mouth as again those were the exact words my ex used to make me crawl at her whim !
Thanx Pam Galloway for putting my kids into,"hell on earth",but at least no one can see it now!
Thanx to the local police service for making my son think he will never be able to trust or respect a cop again! I am sure pam will figure out a way to throw the blame my way again! If pam galloway got some kind of new information on abuse and wasn't stuck in the day of ,"It was him"!,she would also see that kids need both parents not the one that pams obvious biased opinion chooses ! Anyways because the financial burden being put on me by pam galloway to prove her biased opinion is biased is just not justice !
I would like to see an independant investigation by the government into the history of my case as Pam Galloway is obviously bias and behind the times-thinking that violence is ok-as long as the man is not doing it ! I wish i had the money to sue for proffesional malpractice! Nothing but a surface investigation on my ex's behalf !!!
I have been cheated and swindeled out of custody and the safe keeping of my children by people that do not believe women can be violent and if they are it must be the guys fault !
I believe the womens rights movement has gotten carried away with its biased attitude and millions of government dollars in support,while men get none-I tried for years to get help from an abusive woman with a mental dis-order and just could not find any,or most people just didn't believe me!
The court endorsed lies by women and their lawyers must be addressed !-with no consequences for lying -why not lie?

I could add a lot more to this story since then.I wrote it when it was fresh on my mind,when i was in dis-belief,depressed and suicidal.but it was as accurate as i can write.

This is why i became an m.r.a.

Here's a little advice I read somewhere.

"xxxx cunts don't get custody."

Sometimes a man has to protect his children, no matter what it takes.

Blessings

Bob

Outdoors, good on you for sharing your story.

I saw a woman once attack a man who had fled out of town from her and she found him. She just walked into his home and right in front of me belted him up. She hit harder than I have seen men hit women. He hit the ground and she just punched and kicked. Then she dragged him into the bathroom and gave him more.

Pure control. Pure domination.

I did nothing because she was a Government official. I too was afraid of her. I wish I hadn't been. Next time I won't be.

I really would like to see this sort of thing be treated as bad as it is.

14 women die a year from DV in NZ and 8 men die a year from DV in NZ.

And still they only care about the women. Still they only say that men assault women worse because there is no law against women abusing men and that women do it in defence. Blatant lies. They are turning our next generation of girls into monsters and say, "Yes, but men had control for a thousand years or more". But never did men be as bad as what women have become.

There will never be a way to care for men unless we as people stand up to the horrid feminists. Feminists cannot see past themselves. And the wimpy men alongside of them need to be pushed far back with them.

The indoctrination is so ingrained in ordinary folk that women can even stab men in broad daylight and no-one bats an eyelid. And the men who are supposed to be caring for men's issues sit back and deny men's rights. Deny men's rights as if they can only see some horrid male monster lurking somewhere in the dark. They don't see all the young men who are kind and loving and caring and honest and sincere. They don't see all the wonderful fathers no the fatherless girls and boys.

What has happened to society?

Wow....that's an incredibly sad, horrifying story, and I'm so sorry for what you've been through! It's stories like this, that I've heard from you and from others that motivated me to want to be an MRA as well.

Please don't do anything rash...not to yourself or to her. Your kids love you and they need you.

You have friends here who understand what you're going through and who really do care.

Please don't listen to this advice. Guys in jail for murder don't get custody, either. Their kids end up in foster homes and damaged beyond repair.

You and I both the answer. A political hate group expended vast resources, efforts, energy and time in promoting a hateful, untruthful and downright callous picture of what men and fathers are. Since men have been shoved out of the family picture in such vast numbers, society has taken an ever-increasing tumble into a blackhole.

If there is time to save ourselves, it is surely running short.



Outdoors - you have my respect, Sir. Being able to tolerate that kind of shit for that length of time is incredible. My ex was something else too, but she usually employed her mother to do the deeds. Again, threats were made at my safety, immigration status (I was unaware of the laws for immigrant protectoin - and the police 'forgot' to mention this to me when they did visit) and even my life (by her brother, who had been employed by mommy to act on her behalf).

Welcome to the forum

Anger would be normal but you won't help you through this. You must have hope that the future will be better and it will take time.
Take time to focus on what is most important for yourself under your circumstances.

listen when i say-i am over my anger and despair and would never play into the feminazi hands by being violent in any way,shape or form.

me and my ex actually kinda get along now and i have my children half the time.
This was 3 years ago-since then i have fought back-but not an their terms.

I would rather try and make a difference,than lay down and die.

keep the feminist courts out of any divorce-do NOT pay into their industry and they lose interest in you pretty quik