Thread: A lack of common respect

I see the lack of respect as commonplace in society. Many everyday rude events really grind my gears.



PS: I hope you don't feel as if I've ever disrespected you by the way floaty?

Common respect for others is lost when the individual is too concerned with him/her self, in other word narcissism. I was brought up to be respectful of others, give them a basic level of respect that everyone should get. Any respect past that was earned.

Maybe it's an old aristocratic residue from the southern rural folks I grew up around, but the way I learned about etiquette was that your conduct toward anyone and everyone was a measure of your own self-respect. Being less than polite even in the face of extreme rudeness under this code is to allow someone whose conduct is unworthy of your own to take charge.

There's still a few people around who approach it that way, and I try (probably mostly fail) to be one of them. But it's definitely getting
harder to find.

Seems now more people wait until they have something to react to in others' behavior, and then either retaliate for slights real or imagined, or just act as if they live in their own private reality and others have to earn a place in it. Snubs and cold-shouldering get presented more and more as some kind of inalienable right, or even as a statement of superiority.

We talk a lot about abusive behavior here, and I feel like a lot more people are granting the power to others to determine the rules of their behavior for them, which I would take as handing the control to the abuser, and often as not no real abuse has even taken place.

I will say that the best self-defense tactic I know, and have used often to defuse torrential outbursts from others, is not to get caught up in an emotional framework of another's making.

Quote from wh666

PS: I hope you don't feel as if I've ever disrespected you by the way floaty?

Nope, you're doing well.

So far......

Quote from dinohip51

Maybe it's an old aristocratic residue from the southern rural folks I grew up around, but the way I learned about etiquette was that your conduct toward anyone and everyone was a measure of your own self-respect. Being less than polite even in the face of extreme rudeness under this code is to allow someone whose conduct is unworthy of your own to take charge.

There's still a few people around who approach it that way, and I try (probably mostly fail) to be one of them. But it's definitely getting
harder to find.

Seems now more people wait until they have something to react to in others' behavior, and then either retaliate for slights real or imagined, or just act as if they live in their own private reality and others have to earn a place in it. Snubs and cold-shouldering get presented more and more as some kind of inalienable right, or even as a statement of superiority.

We talk a lot about abusive behavior here, and I feel like a lot more people are granting the power to others to determine the rules of their behavior for them, which I would take as handing the control to the abuser, and often as not no real abuse has even taken place.

I will say that the best self-defense tactic I know, and have used often to defuse torrential outbursts from others, is not to get caught up in an emotional framework of another's making.

Yes, do not allow yourself to be pulled down into the muck. If it's screaming for your attention, it's probably not worth it; you would have noticed it on your own if it was worth your attention.

I don't want to be stereotyped as the MRM correspondent in Asia.... but Floaty is making an excellent point.

When western men have to deal with the local beaurocracy here, they go about it all the wrong way, especially with government officials. They go to the office sloppily dressed in shorts and sandals, bluster and shout and demand their 'rights'. Government official goes into shut down. Nothing gets done. Western man walks away seething and muttering about "this f**king country".

I have a growing clientele of men who are willing to pay me a few dollars to get things stamped and approved. So here's how it works.....

I dress in national (business) costume - black pants, proper shoes and ('barong') a long intricately embroidered shirt. Once at the office I approach someone I already know and first open the conversation in the local language... "Good afternoon Mrs X. How are you? Is your husband enjoying his new job? Are your daughters still playing badminton? I recall that your elder daughter will start college next year - what's she going to study?
After 10 or 15 minutes of this it's safe to switch to English, or a mixture but with appropriate body language.

"A good friend of mine, nice man, has a problem. I'm sure you have the skills and authority to fix it, but he really doesn't know what to do next. I explained to him that if you're willing to help it might mean working through your lunch hour and you should at least expect a packed lunch for your trouble and a small tip for being so kind and generous with your time."

Documentation is duly approved. Is it corrupt? Yes. Is everybody happy? Yes. Have I strengthened my relationship with Mrs X for the next guy that needs something done? Yes. Have I sold out? Yes, but for much less than thirty pieces of silver.

Common respect, manners and politeness are the keys. The western client throws dollars to get things done but Mrs X is a 'Keeper'.

When in Rome......

Welcome to the MRM.. I would struggle to count on the fingers of one hand folk in the frm or mrm who have truly shown the sort of common respect I would like to see as a standard..

Doesnt have to be someone you agree with either.. Indeed, best example I can give off this forum would be Percy. We disagree on much, but he always engages to a good standard, prompt replies to PM's and emails, respecting privacy, etc.. Being informative and helpful.. Understanding of human nature..

But for most other MRA's..

This is how it usually goes:-

Person MRA A makes a request on forum or wherever..

Person MRA B responds with a helpful reply offered to MRA A..

MRA B takes no notice whatsoever and continues to pick the lice out of his/her pubes on basefook, the AM forum, whatever.. Obviously he/she wasn't really bothered in the first place.. Just a passing thought eh? Till it comes up again a month or two later and he/she asks why no one has replied..

Another common scenario:-

MRA C and MRA D are getting along pretty well (as far as MRA's can..)..

They agree to do some work together.. MRA C volunteers to do "Job C".. MRA D volunteers to do "job D"..

Chances are, maybe one of them WILL do their job, but it is unlikely that both will..

And the excuses start rolling in, blah de blah..

After years of this, one has to accept that this is the way folks are..

And when you accept that, you realise, why these splatheads can never make any progress..

Common respect?

You gotta respect yourself first chaps.. If you let folks piss on your head and call it rain.. They will keep doing it as long as you stand there and let them..

If you move away they will usually find someone else to piss on, but is that your problem or theirs?

Common sense.. Look for it.. Just don't expect to find much of it in the MRM.. Most of them love their own voices and opinions too much to be capable of figuring out why they are standing alone when it comes to it with only virtual "friends"..

I think people have to be on their guard because respect can be manipulated. I've been personally giving to MRAs for 5 years and I'm basically used between women to fulfill psychological needs, IMO. Well, also when they're not getting all their needs met from their wives, etc or they're just seeing a caring woman and want to make the most of the situation.

I guess it's one of those things where a few bad eggs ruin it for the good eggs.

I also don't mind being disrespected by members here. It helps keep barriers.

Quote from julie

I think people have to be on their guard because respect can be manipulated.

Only the idiots with no will of their own. *clears throat*

Quote from julie

I've been personally giving to MRAs for 5 years and I'm basically used between women to fulfill psychological needs, IMO.

Oh you poor little woman! You're just a downtrodden victim, aren't-cha?

Quote from julie

Well, also when they're not getting all their needs met from their wives, etc or they're just seeing a caring woman and want to make the most of the situation.

Hahaha, right everyone, who had the bet that Julie couldn't even post in a respect thread, without being sexist? Quite ironic really. How can a loathing feminist like you fulfil any male need?

Quote from julie

I also don't mind being disrespected by members here. It helps keep barriers.

Maybe you wouldn't be if you weren't so vile.

I got disrespected at my job not too long ago. I was cleaning the bathrooms at work, and some kid decided to shoot his mouth off at me because he had to pee.

Even after I told him that I was in the process of cleaning the washrooms, he didn't give a shit and yapped at me to hurry up. I just about opened the door and gave him an ear load. I know you have to pee really badly, but that doesn't give you the right to boss people around. If I was his parent, I would have told him off for behaving like that.

What if that wasn't me behind the door, but an elderly person or someone with a disability? One day he'll mouth off at the wrong person, and they won't take it kindly.

Shame you couldn't lock up the toilets to teach him a lesson.

Last weekend, I went to some public toilets that were supposed to be open (so a staff member told me), the mens was locked and the female attendant was getting ready to lock the females.

If I had given her abuse about how they shouldn't be closed, then she would have continued locking up. I asked her really politely though, if she could direct me to the next nearest facility and she took pity and let me go in the females quickly.


Often with members of the public, being nice goes a long way.

Quote from wh666

Only the idiots with no will of their own. *clears throat*

Oh you poor little woman! You're just a downtrodden victim, aren't-cha?

Hahaha, right everyone, who had the bet that Julie couldn't even post in a respect thread, without being sexist? Quite ironic really. How can a loathing feminist like you fulfil any male need?

Maybe you wouldn't be if you weren't so vile.

Being sexist and being respectful are two different things. Shoo, go away.

Some people aren't deserving of respect at all.

Quote from wh666

Some people aren't deserving of respect at all.

By picking and choosing who we show human respect to, we loose respect for ourselves.

Yes, it is said that we can be anyone on the internet thanks to Anonymity. It's unfortunate most people choose to be assholes xD