A bit of history would be handy?

There are only very few situations in which I would even consider disowning a child of mine. But for that, the situation must be extreme (like your child accusing you of having molested them (or let themselves be pressured to do so) and for a long time (many years) not confess to the police that it's a lie). To disown your child for matters like these is simply low or at the least very rash when done this quickly.

Quote from senach

A bit of history would be handy?

Fine. My husband was a closet bisexual and a non-stereotypical male(not in a bad way!). When he came out of the closet last summer, the attitudes his parents had towards him changed drastically, they started insulting him in ways that aren't ok. He was in denial for months...until Christmas, his parents treated him like a piece of shit, he tried playing it off as nothing was wrong, until the insults came hurling at me. My husband got incredibly defensive over that, and it has led to arguments that have been steadily growing worse until last night. He has tried to make peace and he has tried to explain the reasons for his choices.

Quote from Nynrah Ghost

To disown your child for matters like these is simply low.

Exactly.

A difficult situation,and one that one type's carefully,as not to take one side or another,but able to see both side's,there dealing with human emotions,and famalies,i hope that both side's come to some arangement,in the fullness of time.

I don't condone their behavior, but I would try to see it from the outside in. He CAME OUT LAST SUMMER. How would HE feel if his parents just told him he was adopted after all these years for example and that he was the product of parents who did not fit the value system your husband now has. Wouldn't he be upset, wouldn't it take time for him to adjust to it? You have to also see the fact that these ppl, his parents, come from another time, another set of values, another generation. They raised a boy, what with all that represents for THEM and until last year, thought they had done a good job with that in mind. Had he told them before, they may have been more inclined to act in accordance with his choices while they had the feeling of some sort of impact on his education. Maybe they feel they have been left out of the loop. Maybe they blame you, maybe they feel this is somehow their fault, possibly, maybe they are externalizing feelings they have which are more about them than their son, but lack the tools to assimilate this and look to themselves. I think you must know what I am talking about, you say you are a psychologist. However, you are looking from an inside perspective, objectivity I would say is hard in this situation for you. Give it some time, your husband may take it personally but if he is able to surpass the hurt, he may see that in a way, THEY feel betrayed. Distance is probably the best thing right now. If they never come around and come to terms with their son's choice, then he knows were he stands with them and can move on. In the mean time, it must hurt like the devil to be rejected by his parents, you, his wife, must be supportive and use your skills you learned for your trade and objectify this for him, help him put on a new pair of life glasses. I am only a grease monkey, but I can understand where they are coming from, as I can understand where your hubby is coming from. I am a third party who has no stake in this. Objectivity is simple for me. Not for you, but the tools you have gained through your education will help, no doubt, just dig em out here and help the man get through it and don't vilify the parents just yet. Give it time.

Quote from nickb275

Objectivity is simple for me. Not for you, but the tools you have gained through your education will help, no doubt, just dig em out here and help the man get through it and don't vilify the parents just yet. Give it time.

I see where you're coming from ... I have for the most part calmed down, and I want to be there for my husband no matter what.

His parent’s reaction seems a little drastic; I could not imagine a set of circumstances that would cause me to completely disown my own son, not even if he suddenly told me he was a bisexual who has odd religious beliefs and is married to a pregnant dominatrix who punishes him in their basement for refusing to wash the dishes. I’d be mildly surprised, but I wouldn’t disown him ……… given time they may come to terms with his chosen lifestyle, but if not ………. Fuck em, its their loss.

Quote from nivek

His parent’s reaction seems a little drastic;

My husband and his parents have been arguing badly since Christmas.

Quote from Lady Catherine

My husband and his parents have been arguing badly since Christmas.

I’ve been arguing badly with my mother since I was five, mainly because she’s a miserable commie fuck with no sense of justice and a very tenuous grasp on reality …… but hey, I still love her, and every new year’s eve I carry a piece of coal over her threshold (because I’m dark and handsome) and then on January 2nd hostilities recommence.

Quote from nivek

I’ve been arguing badly with my mother since I was five, mainly because she’s a miserable commie fuck with no sense of justice and a very tenuous grasp on reality …… but hey, I still love her, and every new year’s eve I carry a piece of coal over her threshold (because I’m dark and handsome) and then on January 2nd hostilities recommence.

Dark and handsome ? unwashed and wearing a mask,according to rumour.

Quote from senach

Dark and handsome ? unwashed and wearing a mask,according to rumour.

lol.

the rumors of my masked unwashedness are greatly exaggerated

Quote from nivek

lol.

the rumors of my masked unwashedness are greatly exaggerated

So there is some truth in the rumour i started?

Caff, don't buy into that crap about not giving his parents what they deserve. I have had major parental issues myself over things I have no interest in discussing here, but just accept that some people are fucked. I mean it's not that you're done with them forever. Treat them the way they deserve until they get un-fucked.

I would say give them some respect since they're his parents, but they tossed that roll. They don't want it. Treat them like strangers.

Quote from senach

So there is some truth in the rumour i started?

that was sneaky, i thought you'd been talking to my wife ............... again