Personally, I think that a husband and wife are (or should be) a team and should lead the household together.

Such a radical idea....

I do what the fuck I wanna do
but Ive never been much on being a stupor-visor either
I dont mind seeing her on her terms in her house as long as I have my house where my terms apply or GTFO

Follow the directions and you avoid half the potential complications.

Quote from TERA

Personally, I think that a husband and wife are (or should be) a team and should lead the household together.

Such a radical idea....

Not radical, just failed. Cultures have tried that many times, and it always ends up the same... America present plus ten years. Females cannot lead without emotion, which makes their vote in a proposed couple democracy quite laughable. The female does not balance out a male opinion, but rather weakens it. The male has to take the lead and keep it, or chaos results... look around.

Rebel from the rules given and you proceed without foundation. We've had quite enough of that, thank you.

Quote from fcb98292

Not radical, just failed. Cultures have tried that many times, and it always ends up the same... America present plus ten years. Females cannot lead without emotion, which makes their vote in a proposed couple democracy quite laughable. The female does not balance out a male opinion, but rather weakens it. The male has to take the lead and keep it, or chaos results... look around.

Rebel from the rules given and you proceed without foundation. We've had quite enough of that, thank you.

Ridiculous.

Quote from fcb98292

Not radical, just failed. Cultures have tried that many times, and it always ends up the same... America present plus ten years. Females cannot lead without emotion, which makes their vote in a proposed couple democracy quite laughable. The female does not balance out a male opinion, but rather weakens it. The male has to take the lead and keep it, or chaos results... look around.

Rebel from the rules given and you proceed without foundation. We've had quite enough of that, thank you.

Quote from TERA

Ridiculous.

I see the feminist in you (Tera) is acting up again.


What is ridiculous about what FCB said? What he said makes good sense to me. You simply throwing out a one word retort will not suffice if you want whatever it is you think to be taken seriously. I want to hear an explanation from you about what it is FCB said that you find to be so “ridiculous”.

Isn’t it quite true that the male has to lead or chaos results? Doesn’t the current state of American culture bear this out? In my experience with women, such as it is, I definitely get the idea that if I fail to take the lead I get mistreated by the woman, the relationship doesn’t go anywhere, and I have to deal with a bunch of stupid conflict that serves no purpose.

You say men and women should work together as a “team”, as if the man leading and the woman following does not represent good and effective team behavior, with both the man and woman working together to accomplish the joint goals of the relationship?

Then you say the man and woman should “lead” jointly in the relationship. How the hell does that work? If the man and woman lead jointly then how do conflicts between the man and woman get resolved? How does “equality” promote conflict resolution?

Doesn’t “equality” mean endless conflict because then the man and woman have to fight it out on every issue to see who wins this time around?

Anyways, in my mind “equality” is just a feminist slogan that has no meaning. Women don’t want equality; they just want to endlessly challenge the man to see what he’s made of, to see what they can get away with. When the man puts his foot down and establishes his own dominance then the woman is happy and contented, she is then secure and well taken care of. This is ultimately what women truly want (assuming the man is strong enough to take care of her and operates under a healthy and sound ethical system, of course).

see the feminist in you (Tera) is acting up again.
What is ridiculous about what FCB said?

Not feminist at all.

Pretty well all of it was ridiculous to my mind.

Females cannot lead without emotion, which makes their vote in a proposed couple democracy quite laughable. The female does not balance out a male opinion, but rather weakens it. The male has to take the lead and keep it, or chaos results... look around.

One of the first lessons I was taught as a military Officer was that all decisons and their execution had to involve emotion. No one follows a robot. I really do not know why so many chaps think that emotions should be cut from their decsion making. Emotion is what gives values and drive. They just don't think. That is what is laughable.

Crikey, ST - and fcb - you do get emotional about this.

Haahoo. How has it worked for you so far?

Quote from Percy

Not feminist at all.

Pretty well all of it was ridiculous to my mind.



One of the first lessons I was taught as a military Officer was that all decisons and their execution had to involve emotion. No one follows a robot. I really do not know why so many chaps think that emotions should be cut from their decsion making. Emotion is what gives values and drive. They just don't think. That is what is laughable.

Crikey, ST - and fcb - you do get emotional about this.

Haahoo. How has it worked for you so far?

How has what worked out for me?

As you know, male headship of families is expressly forbidden by state decree, it is only possible for as long as "she who must be obeyed" does not decide to call in the femistate gestapo..

You should be asking how it WORKED in pre-feminised society, evidence seems to indicate to me that it worked pretty well and also works pretty well in communities that take this position for religious or other reasons..

As ST eloquently explains, two equals can never come to a final decision should they insist on trying to win every argument, which happens when folk think they have "rights" to do what they want as individuals and that no other person is entitled to stop them..

Quote from TERA

Personally, I think that a husband and wife are (or should be) a team and should lead the household together.

Such a radical idea....

Not at all, but a good team recognises the strengths and weaknesses of each member and in a "team of two" there will usually be one person who is better suited to being "the final word" for the family, and since women don't want to "marry equal", (or "down") and indeed almost invariiably "Marry up", it would generally be the case that the man would already have "proved his suitability" for the role before the wedding day!

Or he would prove his willingness to delegate his leadership role in the main, which is what many men do in practice!!

Leadership is generally a male quality, so in the majority of cases the man should be the head of the household. However, there are certain cases where the female has far stronger leadership qualities than the male, and in that case I believe it's acceptable for the woman to take the role of head of the household.

Quote from Oilersfan

Leadership is generally a male quality, so in the majority of cases the man should be the head of the household. However, there are certain cases where the female has far stronger leadership qualities than the male, and in that case I believe it's acceptable for the woman to take the role of head of the household.

That's all well and good, but how would a couple measure who has better leadership skills and the final say then, in all matters?

Why are so many men afraid of partnerships? Do cooperation, collaboration, consideration, and compromising just take too much effort?

The funny thing about all this, ask each partner separately who "wears the pants" in their relationship and I am pretty sure at the end of the day you will have far more "leaders" than expected.

I am really wondering what happened to teamplay here.....

Quote from Feckless

The funny thing about all this, ask each partner separately who "wears the pants" in their relationship and I am pretty sure at the end of the day you will have far more "leaders" than expected.

I am really wondering what happened to teamplay here.....

Was this survey held in Germany? Do you have a link to back this up?

Oh there was no survey, I was assuming.

But Percy had one very informative post up here, too:

Of the 1,260 men and women whom Pew pollsters surveyed over the summer, 43% responded that the woman makes most of the major decisions for the family, with 31% saying that the couple makes most decisions together. There was a small difference (within the margin of error) between the control exerted by wives who earn more than their husbands and those who earn less (46% versus 42%). But in both cases, women wielded sole decision-making power far more than men did, indicating that what "father knows best" is when to defer to mom.

Certainly that was what University of Iowa researchers found last year when they measured how couples negotiate conflict over household decisions. That study not only confirmed that men will usually go along with their wives but found that when couples do disagree, wives are far more persuasive than husbands in changing their spouses' minds.

According to the author of the study, David Vogel, what he and his team witnessed during recorded conversations wasn't a case of men tuning out when their wives started talking. Rather the researchers saw that when spouses engaged in debate, the women gained more ground than their husbands did. "[The women] were communicating more powerful messages and men were responding to those messages by agreeing," Mr. Vogel stated in a press release.

Women in charge in the home