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  1. #1
    Percy's Avatar
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    Oz schools -Revolution No 2

    Friday2 September 2011
    Ass Press

    More Oz ‘Men’ in primary schools


    As a shocking and totally unexpected report reveals today that despite Julia Gillard’s ‘Educational Revolution’ and the proliferation of outrageously expensive earthworks where taxpayer’s money has been buried, less than one in ten primary school teachers are men, Oz Guvermunt MPs are taking steps to address the lack of male role models in children’s lives.

    “We have to address this isshoo”, claimed Education Ministerial Spokesperson Ms Gloria Jowl. “Children really need something like a man’s influence in their formative years.”

    “Some ofthese kids can’t even burp the alphabet. And their spelling is atroshu…..apawl….rotten”

    Experts aren’t sure why so few men are drawn to low-paid work in rooms full of screaming children all chanting Global Warming slogans and scrawling ‘Eekwalitea’ on the wall.

    “A few men have shown a passing interest in the profession”, explained a head teacher, Ms Daphne Lang. “But that’s mainly been concentrated around new graduate hussy’s desk during parents’ evening.”

    Primary school teachers

    From January2012, primary school teachers will take it in turns to dress as men, and properly teach the kids to count. “We are setting a new ‘Benchmark’ of fingers AND toes by mid-year.” Said Gloria.

    “There’s something about a balding head atop a tweed jacket that instills respect in a young tearaway”, she suggested.

    “That, or their hairy hands landing backward, at speed, across their little ears. But some things are beyond budget in these difficult times”

    To complete the illusion, female teachers are being sent on crash-courses in faking interest in football, farting loudly in corridors and parking neatly and expertly in the staff car-park.

    “Boys inparticular need a father figure to look up to, or at the very least a mother figure with drawn-on stubble”, said Ms Jowl. “And let’s face it, there are not many fathers left in our society”

    Immediate row

    Professor Ambrose Fortarse of Canberra’s elite Think Tank on Post Human Society, who produced the report said, “I accept that not all the chaps that taught me in school were unkempt, unshaved half-tramps like most of the womyn we see in our seats of child-centred-self-directed-learnings. But trust me, I’m not about to start encouraging transvestites of any kind.”

    He made clear his complete disagreement with the Government's intended actions. “I would employ MEN” he said, “ But the Minister is hell-bent on finding employment for butch lesbians and buggered if I can give a toss any more.
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  2. #2
    Douglas's Avatar
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    Re: Oz schools -Revolution No 2



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  3. #3
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    Re: Oz schools -Revolution No 2

    Parsifal: “There’s something about a balding head atop a tweed jacket that instills respect in a young tearaway”

    This describes my old primary school headmaster to a tee, a large imposing figure with a tweed jacket that seemed to be as much a part of him as the huge brown brogues that stomped to the rhythm of the music during the country dancing lessons which we were all forced to endure, every morning at the end of assembly after singing all those traditional hymns he would have a brand new amusing story or anecdote and the whole audience would be completely entranced, including the staff, it had a way of setting everyone up for the day, it was not until many years later that it occurred to me how hard it must have been to find a new story every single day, shame is i can't even remember them anymore but the hymns have stayed with me always and i still catch myself singing "the lord is my shepherd" or "abide with me" amongst many others to this day and even though i have heard and sung these hymns in many other settings they always remind me of him.

    A good man well remembered.
    Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato


 

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