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Topic Review (Newest First)

  • 7th-April-2010
    Smokey125

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Thanks very much for all the welcoming comments, friends! Sorry I haven't come back to write some more in quite a few days, things have been going on here and there...perhaps you can relate.

    Since this is the part of my post that seems to have attracted the most attention and response, I'll just say that well, if you gentlemen out there can control your libidos, I SALUTE you. There are several factors involved in my situation that, well, quite frankly, are not involved in hardly ANYBODY else's, but I'll leave that to your imaginations. In any case, it feels pretty good to have joined the group and to be able to drop by whenever seeking a little refuge is necessary. CHEERS!
  • 31st-March-2010
    Incognito

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    I am not ashamed to say that I have a sex drive that could rival any man's...but I can control it. Men can control theirs, they do it all the time. People who rape aren't doing it for the sex alone. They have a psychological need that they are fulfilling with the commission of the act- any sexual gratification that person is getting (if they are getting any via the rape at all) is secondary to the psychological fulfillment. The psychological need might be to express rage, or power/control. Sex is the vehicle (which becomes entwined with violence) in which a rapist can express these (or other unique to the individual) "needs."

    Source: criminal psychology
  • 30th-March-2010
    Tyrael

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Hi Smokey125, thanks for joining AM.
  • 24th-March-2010
    Celtic Druid

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Welcome aboard.
  • 24th-March-2010
    Kroovy

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    welcome to the forums. dont let these wounded men taint you, some women are good...but complete and total caution is highly advised.

    and i do not have an uncontrollable sex drive sir. i feel no need for sex. dont let them fool you, you dont need it either.
  • 24th-March-2010
    Marx

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Greetings!

    Yes, all you mention is why we're here.
  • 24th-March-2010
    Nynrah Ghost

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Welcome to the board.

    Quote Quote from samofsons View Post
    welcome!
    very very well said.
    but i find this part to be a little degrading.



    that's something the feminist movement projects all day long
    that men are just horny animals that can't control themselves.

    testosterone is responsible for a whole lot more than sex drive.
    so evident that i don't need to give examples ,
    sex drive is only a portion of it and when you've had misandry
    and feminist hate pounding your brain since your a little boy ,
    you start to hate the idea of sex with them anyway. even if you are horny.
    Very true. Despite all the testosterone, there are plenty of men that do not feel any need for sex. Despite that, many can control themselves very well.
  • 24th-March-2010
    byslexic_danana

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Great intro. I can identify 100%; and, as Percy says, this is not just confined to the US and Canada; you can add the UK, Australia and New Zealand to that list, and most probably much of the rest of the western world, too. I wish I had more time on my hands to respond in more detail, but for now, I'll just say "welcome". I look forward to hearing more from you.
  • 24th-March-2010
    Percy

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Testosterone is not a cause of the sex drive, but a hormonal response to it, along with many other things.

    Athletes for example show markedly higher testosterone after and event when it is all over than before it when they are 'driven'. If they 'win' in competition their testosterone is higher than those who lose. Men have far higher testosterone after sex than before it.
  • 24th-March-2010
    julie

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Welcome Smokey125 and 'hi there', It's awesome to have you here.

    Somehow I think you have given much thought to all this feminist and anti-male stuff and you've expressed yourself well. It certainly is a lot to come to terms with, IMO.

    I think as children we beleive the world is wonderful and then as adults we have to come to terms with it's ugliness. I'm no specialist in working people out but I'd say you are clever and have a balanced point of view.

    I am older than you and I have witnessed what feminists go on about but I am disappointed when I see women who have nothing to moan about say that men are bad, bad, bad.

    I kinda think feminists should balance themselves rather than live in eternal victimhood and I think men in the past didn't express their concerns and this is left on your and other youngish men to sort out.

    For sure men's voices are vital to move forward and I feel really privileged to watch history in the making. Yet, it sounds really bizarre to me that men have been considered to not share their feelings because I've seen in my whole life men share. I can only assume it's the anti-male environment that is stopping you and all men like you who care and I want to encourage you to stand up and be counted.
  • 24th-March-2010
    shaazam

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    wimyn are just smart enough to realise that men are the movers and shakers on this mortal coil and the new age gals just don't like this fact

    that is why the Olympics feature separate events for wimyn so that they can garner first rate gold medals for second rate performances

    and that is why the star chamber Family Courts were created to rip off his assets legally so she can acquire wealth with no effort

    anybody that tries to second guess wimyn or trusts them are riding for a fall

    sad to say
  • 24th-March-2010
    Zuberi

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Welcome....
  • 24th-March-2010
    Percy

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Welcome Smokey.

    I can relate very well to virtually everything you talk about. I can assure you that it is not confined to the US and Canada.

    In your words I hear disappointment. I hear disgust and disillusion. I hear an open heart quite able to love and appreciate women at an individal level and a clear acceptance of 'the female' aspects at the general level. But also a clear recognition that our society has turned against men in an irrational and fact-blind denigrating mode that is so widespread as to be unavoidable.

    I also see you identify a point when, at that individual level, we become aware of the direspect. It is well known and easily understood that teen girls substitute denigrating hubris for sexual fear. They 'diss' boys as a mass, summarising the boy-drive in a one eyed simplified manner. They are just insecure children. And boys similarly dismiss the complexity of girls at that age by repeating the 'hands-thrown-in-the-air' exclamation that we just can't understand them.

    But our society runs with the girlish calumnies and young men suffer. It gets worse as one ages. We understand women all too well. The ones we love let us down, if we are merely lucky, and stomp on us is we are less fortunate.

    You will find a place of understanding here.
  • 24th-March-2010
    themanonthestreet

    Re: Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Welcome! Nice intro.

    TMOTS
  • 23rd-March-2010
    Smokey125

    Salutations gentlemen (and any ladies too)!

    Greetings! How fortuitous it was to find this group. I am enjoying exploring it.

    Here’s my story. I’m a 26 (almost 27)-year-old man living in Maryland. I live with my girlfriend of six-and-a-half years. We love each other very much and are secure in the relationship. If I were to be completely honest, I don’t have as much to complain about in the world of gender wars and politics as I potentially could. The job I currently work is at an office filled with at least fifteen or twenty women, and me. There is one other man in my department, but he is way back in his own private office. The women I now work with are nice for the most part, one or two of them are very good friends of mine at this point, and they don’t male-bash like the women with whom I’ve worked at other jobs, which is fortunate. There is no quicker way to turn me off or make me leave. So I consider myself pretty fortunate with my employment and romantic situations.

    What I want to discuss here however is the situation in other settings. When I was growing up and becoming an adult, I just wanted to live my life. I wanted to find a job, take up some hobbies and make some friends. Now I’ve more or less accomplished those things to different degrees, but there’s something else I’ve been beaten into the ground with more than ever that I never asked for: male-bashing. It seemed pretty prevalent when I was coming of age and reaching puberty, in middle/high school, and in college, and it’s only gotten worse and more ubiquitous since. I began to hear girls talking to each other about how “all boys” were “this way” or “did this” or some other stereotype. I didn’t hear them saying anything about “all girls”. I didn’t hear guys saying things about “all girls” all that much either; maybe occasionally, but not much.

    Now I’m grown, and the problem has taken on much more dangerous and destructive facets than just gossip. You turn on the television, and there are news stories about men committing acts of violence, rape, arson, abuse of all kinds, you name it. Every day. Once in a while they have a story about a woman having sex with a teenage boy, maybe. You watch sitcoms, the female characters endlessly make fun of and put down the male characters for just being men. Of course, there’s a reason: the male characters in sitcoms are made stupid, and unenlightened, perpetually horny and chauvinistic; the female characters are usually wise, put-upon, bright, high-minded souls who wield all the power and do nothing wrong. Of course, we all know how realistic sitcoms are. Listen to women just talk to each other, casually. Sooner or later, some anti-male statement or thought often enters the conversation. “Why does he always have to be right about the finances?” “He’s a man.” That’s right, just a man. Never mind that the checkbook is actually balanced and the bank police are not breaking your door down and taking you into custody.

    You run into situations like this all the time. Sometimes you can’t turn your head without getting smacked in the face by it. It’s ridiculous, and it’s nowhere near the reality of American life—not in my case, anyway. My girlfriend and I both work 40 hours a week, and I do most of the cleaning and half the cooking around our home. Sometimes, she cleans something and often cooks for us as well. She often praises me for my hard work, which I appreciate, and give in return. What I do not appreciate is how men as a group have been berated by society for being deadbeats, or lazy, stupid, bad-smelling, evil, sick, or some other derogatory comment we’ve been subject to. Yes, there are some not-quite-so-savory men out there, granted. The same is true of women! The reverse is not widespread or all over the news or media, however. That would be un-P.C. People like to avoid riots and protests when possible. I was born male, and so I automatically am lesser as a human being. At least in the eyes of America and Canada.

    But even more serious than all of that, many boys are being brought up to think this way. Most likely, they’ll never grow to think of themselves as worthy, beautiful, flawed, complicated humans—which is what I believe a lot of men (and women) are, in some way. Instead, they’ll likely be neutered and submissive, the way militant feminists probably think men should be. Even more serious than that, if you’re a man today, you could have your entire life taken away from you and destroyed if a woman you know decides she, for whatever reason, would like to take everything you hold dear. She goes to court and says you raped her, abused a child, absolutely anything a judge and jury would automatically believe, and you’re no longer a free man! Control is now out of your hands. Did you really do it? Are you innocent until proven guilty? Is it even any longer a question? Nope!

    Please don’t get me wrong; I believe that any man (or woman) who actually rapes someone or beats a child deserves whatever they get—unless it’s just a slap on the wrist—as any normal person with all their faculties functioning would. The point I’m laboring to make is that the public has the message—that men are dangerous, from all the news reports, the Lifetime and Oxygen networks, and TV personalities like Oprah Winfrey and Phil Donahue—jammed so far down their throats that it’s now like an automatic reflex. And as a result, there are women’s support groups, women’s self-defense courses, women’s studies college courses. All you need is one bad example, one bad apple, one case in which a man abuses a woman in any way, and it’s on.

    Footnote: I was a short step away from adding there is also a whirlwind of attention and an entire month devoted to breast cancer. Now, I recently learned that breast cancer affects a very small percentage of men, as well as women—which is one of the reasons I am no longer upset about October (breast cancer month) or breast cancer this or that. The other reason is that I actually saw a commercial the other night about a product developed just for me that attacks prostate cancer. I had been asking for a long while why prostate cancer seems to get no recognition, but there it was! I thought, Wow! About time! It’s a start.

    It’s not that I am anti-female, not in the least. On the contrary; I love women, more than many men (and women) do. And I know there are many women out there who genuinely love men; thank goodness for these women. However, I also love men as a class, human beings altogether, and being a man, don’t like, understand or appreciate the majority of treatment we’re receiving, also as a class, by the media and at times, by the country. I’m not going to provide statistics, because they’re somewhat unreliable and can change at any point, but any sensible person can see we’re not all rapists, murderers, batterers, criminals and masterminds of evil. If you can’t see that, you need to take a better look. I’m sorry if you ran into a few bad apples, I really am, but you need some time to unearth some genuinely good ones. You can’t just make a snap judgment on a few.

    A few points to address—yes, men can be violent. (Note the words “CAN BE”. Note also that anybody can be violent) But we don’t need to be. Perhaps it dates back to cavemen days, when men hunted and gathered. I say “perhaps” because, well, were we there? Do we know? Just a thought. Yes, men are overly sexually stressed. Women aren’t. They’re born with just a small amount of testosterone and eventually lose it; men are FULL of testosterone all the time, and overstroked libidos. Now, nobody said life was fair. We walk around in a constant state of sexual frustration, never knowing if we’re going to need to release soon. How fair is that? Whether women choose to believe it or not, men cannot control our sex drives. We cannot, never will, end of story. If a man rapes a woman, well…on behalf of the good guys, I’m sorry. I really am. It’s a horrific situation to be in, and something that would never happen if God knew what S/He/It was doing in creating Man, and we’d all take it back if we could. But don’t lump us all in with this guy who raped her, or all over-horny, violent guys. It’s not all men in the world; far from it! I’ve never raped a woman (or a man) in my life, I never would. And the only time I ever hit someone was after they hit me first and I snapped.

    There are a lot more things going on in the gender world for one to take a look at—this is the side that I have seen and matters to me, which I focus on. We never claimed to be perfect. We don’t purport to demand something we didn’t earn. Some men may be a little dumb, oversexed, lazy or less than desirable. Other men are worthy, beautiful, flawed, complicated human beings who have lots inside to give—passion, enthusiasm and yes, maybe a little love for all humankind as well.

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