Thread: I'm a Single Mom, Look at Meeeee....

Percy,
This is a pregnancy of convenience.
Like most single mums that I have ever seen, the father is given the "flick" after conception, no input from him is wanted and in fact over here, it has ended in a Trespass (DV) Order being taken out against the Father.

It wouldn't surprise me if there was some sort of feminist agenda going on here to beat Fathers down another peg, I can imagine a lot of comments on her blog about how the Father is not helping her and about how poor she is.

If I was out for sex one night, I wouldn't listen to the rantings of "Oh I'm on the Pill, no need to wear a condom, wear one out of self respect, if she refuses, get the fuck out of there!!, she wants the money, not the child and you will be left paying.

You are either a Father 100% or not at all, tell Ms Single Mum that before you get into bed.

Percy, some guys really are deadbeats. Like the condom tears and they tell you that it didn't and when you check it, it's torn. You think a guy who does that, wouldn't walk away?

The article makes a good point about the father having no say. I really dislike this about today's laws.

Originally Posted by RebelliousVanilla

Percy, some guys really are deadbeats. Like the condom tears and they tell you that it didn't and when you check it, it's torn. You think a guy who does that, wouldn't walk away?

Yes, such men exist. And no, they should not just walk away; and yes they sometimes try to.

I think most men here are well aware that there are bad and stupid men walking around. These have been universally condemned - by the vast majority, the decent men - since time immemorial and especially during that period reviled as 'Patriarchal'. Fathers used to protect their daughters from them. Remember Fathers?

But, RV, dear girl, women today, like the smart, savvy, intelligent. successful, executive 26 year old in the article, CHOOSE those men. They do that while holding a huge banner saying "I am a relationship expert".

They choose them and they discard them and then whine.

It was she who dropped her knickers for unprotected sex while not on the pill. It wasn't an issue of a broken condom. There was no friggin' condom.

And tell me, how does a man 'walk away' from an super-empathetic, mind-reading conflict resolver who has persuasive skills AND blue uniformed thugs at her beck and call? And laws as in some places that say that if a man 'walks away' from a pregnant female partner, even of two friggin' weeks, he can be arrested?

The article makes a good point about the father having no say. I really dislike this about today's laws.

Percy, I'm not a feminist who claims that women are 10 times better at everything than men. I actually think that men are better at certain things.

And I wasn't excusing the girl in the article. For me, not being on the pill and having sex is straight idiotic. And if I'm not on the pill, I always check the condoms afterwards. If they have the smallest leakage, the day after pill. I really don't see how you can get pregnant if you use both the condom and the pill.

And men are manipulative too so it's not like it was only her fault for the sex&pregnancy, especially if he knew she's not on the pill. It's like blaming a man because his wife divorced. It's always the fault of both, even though in the latter case one party is more at fault than the other.

About the being arrested issue. That's why in one nighters a man should never say his true identity. :P

Thanks for the resource Percy...straight into the file

Originally Posted by RebelliousVanilla

Percy, I'm not a feminist who claims that women are 10 times better at everything than men. I actually think that men are better at certain things.

I accept that, RV. I am getting the measure of your attitudes and values and can see you think reasonably.

And I wasn't excusing the girl in the article.

I accept that too. I went on the offensive over the condom issue you raised in order to make that point clear.

For me, not being on the pill and having sex is straight idiotic.

Yes, and the writer and the woman both evaded saying so.

And if I'm not on the pill, I always check the condoms afterwards. If they have the smallest leakage, the day after pill. I really don't see how you can get pregnant if you use both the condom and the pill.

You are taking responsibility for yourself and that is laudable.

And men are manipulative too so it's not like it was only her fault for the sex&pregnancy, especially if he knew she's not on the pill.

No. No. You leap from a generalisation about 'men' to a particular about her and him and excuse the her by implicating him. That is not on. It is not logical, nor reasonable. You know that.

It WAS only her fault, if fault is how it is to be seen. She is, in America and all of the west, entirely responsible for her pregnancy, by her own demand. "It is MY body, and I do what I want with it. No-one has the right to tell me what to do with it". She may not have said that here but she says it in other terms and has it as a normal thought pattern.

It's like blaming a man because his wife divorced. It's always the fault of both, even though in the latter case one party is more at fault than the other.

No. No. That is lazy thinking. You are intelligent enough to know that. Often it is the fault of both, but often it is wholly one person's bad behaviour or selfishness. Most women are so damned quick to claim innocence - and victimhood - but very reluctant to allow for a man being innocent. Why?

You are not other women. Why defend women simply on the basis of gender?

About the being arrested issue. That's why in one nighters a man should never say his true identity. :P

I see you are trying to be humourous. OK. But on the serious side, as a try-to-be moral man, that is not good enough for me. A man and a woman ought to know one another well before sleeping together. I am not wholly against pre-marital sex, or even, in some circumstances, extra-marital sex, but one-night stands between strangers or people hiding their identities is not something to accept so easily, nor to create 'cop-outs' for.

You talk critically of men being manipulative on the one hand and then advocate it on the other. You can do better than that, m'dear.

When I referred to men being manipulative, I didn't mean that all men are, sorry. I meant that you can find similar traits on both "sides". And no, both are responsible if they have a child and he knows she's not on the pill. It's like me having sex unprotected because I expect the man to have gotten a vasectomy before. That's how supposing as a guy that she will take the day after pill is. They were both stupid and they should be both responsible and a part of the kid's life if she chose to keep it.

And I don't claim victim-hood nor innocence for things. It's just that a lot of people get married too young, without knowing each other well enough or a lot of other things like this which doom a marriage to failure. I never said that men are never innocent. I said that in a divorce, usually both are to blame for something. It's just how I see it. Supposing I'd be married and my husband would divorce me out of the blue, I would question myself about doing something that triggered that.

And men who do one nighters aren't moral, they're male whores, just like the women who do them are sluts.

Seems to me she was damned from the beginning. If she got an abortion she'd be demonized for that. She kept the baby and is now a single mom and she's demonized for that.

Whatever.

What outcome here would you like to see?

I wish they'd used some contraception.

But what's done is done.

And no, both are responsible if they have a child and he knows she's not on the pill.

Let me make a distinction, RV.

I have said this before, though you are not likey to have seen it.

Pregnancy is a woman's responsibility. Wholly and fully. It is the Law. I don't like that. But women have demanded that men have absolutely no say in the matter.

That said, both parents are totally, wholly, jointly and severally responsible for the maintenance of their child, and its emotional, physical, moral, health and educational wellbeing.

I do not like the FACT that she, and she alone, can dispose of the child in any way she deems fit, without reference to the father. It is a disgrace, not only to life and humanity, but to women too.

I think we have developed a society that is disconnected from life. I don't like that either.

Originally Posted by TERA

Seems to me she was damned from the beginning. If she got an abortion she'd be demonized for that.

True, demonized by most here, demonized by people that are against abortion, but not demonized by much of society, supported by feminism and well within her legal rights. I think, that this is much of the point of the article. Supposing the father did just walk away, as Coppa claims, this is him simply doing what women are allowed to do in each and every case of pregnancy. Yet, he was only able to do this because she allowed it. Had she taken him to court, he would not have been allowed to simply wash his hands and walk away.

Women always have the option to opt out. Men don't and, if they do, they are always demonized for that action.

That said, NO ONE should be able to opt out. You choose the possibility of becoming a parent each and every time you have sex. Every single act of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman has the possibility of resulting in a child and if we create a life we are responsible for that life. Opting out should never be an option, for anyone.

Quote: "You choose the possibility of becoming a parent each and every time you have sex." Kim

Agreed. I try to explain (especially to the young, who tend to think that they're invulnerable), that pregnancy can occur even with the best forms of protection. The only form of contraception that's foolproof is abstinence!

I just uploaded this, this thread seems like the perfect place to post it, it's just over 2 minutes long, it's Chris Rock talking about wannabe single mums who think they don't need a man, very funny, and VERY true.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz1gCLXxxnc"]YouTube - Chris Rock's Message To Wannabe Single Mums[/ame]

haha!

I dont think its possible in todays society to seriously accuse any man of being a "deadbeat.."

A logical self-preservation reaction to retreat in the face of the impossible task is actually something that I would heartily reccomend to anyone who finds themselve in such a situation..

End of the day, women have all the power, men have next to none, so its a rotten game from the start and when the rules are not fair, the game is a joke!

Originally Posted by haahoo

the game is a joke!

Hey, steady on