What do you want/need to say to him?

Quote from Fruit_Cake

chevalier, if you had two kids screaming their heads of, nappies needing changing, etc and you saw you're wife struggling and nearly in tears, would you disapear to the pub or wherever you go?

Probably the best thing to do, short of chucking the useless whinger out and bringing up the kids oneself!

i just think its selfish and uncaring.

Me too, women should quit fucking whining and get on with what they are supposed to be experts at!

imagine if all the plumbing broke in the house and you needed your wife to put her finger on something, but she said, no, i'm going for a walk??

Would not ask a woman to do anything practical, they just cant do it!

i dont think you'd feel she cared much about you??

No, I would already be aware of that, I would think her suggestion to fuck off out of my way while I sort the job out would be just grand!

anyway i dont want to talk about the ins and outs of my sisters relationship, i've heard enough about her for 16 lifetimes already.

but can anyone tell me why my dad runs away for 3 days a week? he doesnt even get paid to go to this 'job' he has?? i would apreciate if you guys could help me here because its something i dont understand at all..

he never argues with anyone, just storms out the room, he's very emotional and i think he's quite unhappy really, but whenever i try and be nice to him, he just ignores me.

i couldn't live with my mum either but if it were me, i'd tell her to get lost. She leaves the house in a total mess all the time, and he cleans up after her.

I guess thats his way and he is happy with it.. Dont worry about why he does what he does, just accept it and remember he is not you, nor are you your mother or your sister!

As long as folk can get along, or get away, then surely thats better than confrontational shite?

And a man must ALWAYS remember the golden rule when it comes to arguing with women..

When you win, you lose!!

Fc I am very sorry to hear that your father does not seem to value you as much as the others. Maybe he does this to appease your mother if your mom shows more respect to your sibling than to you then he may be trying to keep the peace by not warming up to you. I don't know that this is the case maybe it is him but either way it is a shame for a father to ignore the love of a child in this day and age when it can all be taken from him at no notice poof it's just gone. Could you maybe get him alone sometime and explain to him or ask him why your relationship with him is this way.

I reckon he got dragged in by the balls by your mother for the purpose of raising her kids and ended up alienated from his own child.. Who perhaps your mother gave him grudgingly, or maybe he did not really want a child of his own.. But, I dont know, only guessing here from what I have seen elsewhere with folk, women are very keen to go out and get another bloke to support their existing kids.. Its like an instinct they have and menay men fall foul of that, led in by the little head..

I owe you an apology, FC. I'd misunderstood, or recalled your situation incorrectly.
Anyway, I'd suggest you need to figure out, in as short a way as possible, precisely what you want/need to address with him. Once you've done that - write it up as a final (after x-drafts), and then give a few days before hiding the letter in a pocket where you know he'll find it.

Don't make my mistake by waffling on endlessly when it only needs a few lines.

I'd suggest you need to figure out, in as short a way as possible, precisely what you want/need to address with him. Once you've done that - write it up as a final (after x-drafts), and then give a few days before hiding the letter in a pocket where you know he'll find it.

thankyou for the advice marx, drex and chevalier, writing him a letter is something i never considered. definately something i might try. you're right i need to think about this a bit more.

Apologies to FC, Marx, Drex and Chevalier for interrupting a serious exchange with a joke. Egg on face !!

I didn't keep up with the conversation. It's a talent I have - used to do it at parties. Anyway it's gone now.

FC you are quite welcome despite the bad blood you and I sometimes share it would be inhuman of me to not try to help in a situation like this. I have read that the relationship between father and doughter can be hard for a girl whose dad doesn't pat attention to her. Same for mother and son I read.

Yan Yan I think I've done that too could you tell us the joke now or pm it to me?

To me it means not being led around by women or men. Not being oppressed by women or men. Not being unwillingly tied to situations that are not your fault. I personally adopt the whole 'no relationships/sex etc' philosophy because I have learned that it's just not worth the trouble it causes.