In case you are 'catching up', Richard, and unaware of the outcome, TFB is healthy and fit again, enough to have been very Active as an MRA over the past year.

I am very pleased, personally. I admire him.

He was as angry as a cut snake for the intervention of the people here. But has got over that.

I am pleased about that too.

Considering the difficulties of intervening over the internet and all the emotional discussion at the time, we did well.

OK Percy, I was "catching up". I just read your original post and seeing the hundreds of replies (and knowing of quickly things can go off topic) I jumped to the end - after all the post was on the theme "what would you do".

I am glad that things went in the right direction.

If you wrote about him anonymously then that was OK. Further I've noticed that is this also a kind of "self-help" group. So if I had been suicidal and if members here sought to help me then I would have been rather proud of this group. But there we go, you cannot please all of the people all of the time.

Seems this old string came back to life after two and half years.

Hello Richard. Percy, you expressed admiration; thanks. However, I cant see much to admire and presume it's my scaling that gives you that view. (Richard – 'scaling' refers to F4J style protesting)

You see Percy, for me, it's only results that matter and I couldn't be more disappointed with the results of my efforts over the last two years. My death wish had never gone away, but the hope that my efforts could amount to something gave me the spirit to suppress that death wish, which I'm afraid is now back with profound vigour.

You see, as an Aspie (a mild form of Autism) it is characteristic of me to see things in black and white, with a literalness to my regard of a world that non-autistics would perceive with more abstraction. What that means in this situation is I cannot feel any satisfaction of what others might admire in my efforts. To me, all they have achieved is people in the MRM and FRM (it would be a mistake to think of the fathers rights movement as part of the MRM - they are like chalk and cheese), expressing how wonderful they think my scaling is.

For me, it is nothing of the sort. There was absolutely no perceivable regression of misandry through my efforts. Simply gallivanting on structures dressed in a comic hero costume might be fun, or even gratifying, for some, but for me it's become a hollow pointlessness without results. I just fail to understand the mystique generated by scaling, it is not performed by obscure cults who's wizard members are buzzing on spice from Arrakis. Regardless of how high you scale, all you do is go up some stairs or ladders and take the rap for some petty criminal charges.

Frustratingly though, I reckoned I can see how to get the results I (we all) crave so eagerly. In fact I had formed quite a comprehensive strategy over the decade, which I cant divulge publicly and simply refer to as M25, but my efforts to get the help I needed to develop M25 failed.

I could go on and scale away, or even apply proposed scales with greater sensation and penalty, I have no mental barriers to the risks, either physical or legal. But what would be the point of just arousing the admiration of the F/MRM. These efforts are being squandered by the lack of mobilised support that I believe is essential to utilise scaling and get real results.

Without an integral strategy like M25 taking a markedly more offensive course against misandry, I have come to the point where suicide seems close and comforting. Certainly on an unrelated personal level, other issues have developed which have energised my demons to new highs not felt before. Lately, every breath I take feels like poison.

All I want to do is get results. I don't want to languish on social networks and fora speculating and analysing proposals of what could be done but never are. I don't mean to underplay whatever achievements other MRA's strive for and gain. For me though, it's just not enough. I want more, because I know more can be got.




Richard, I'd like to talk to you in private, Percy and CD too please.

I don't mean to sound rough, I'd bet your good people, but I hope you can excuse my roughness as it's so unnatural for me to be amiable at times like these.

Frustration is a bugger, TFB.

Is your email as it was before? PM it too me.

I've PMed you my email address, my (Polish!) mobile phone number). I am on skype.

I understand your frustration - the mens/fathers movement is very fragmented and there are a lot of people who let one down at crucial times (also been there!).

Will be happy to talk to you, via any channel.