Quote from Percy

long, drawn out process of deliberately dying.

Suicide.

Due to physical or emotional ills?

You will understand that I cannot tell anything of his situation.

That is for him to do, should he choose to.

Address him, with kindness.

Quote from Percy

You will understand that I cannot tell anything of his situation. That is for him to do, should he choose to. Address him, with kindness.

Sir, I speak to you as a fellow man. I am of average health, but I have been sick. I am not recovering from any injury, but I have been injured. I am not on the receiving end of intentional hurt from others, but I have been decimated by those who claimed to love me. I am currently pain-free, but I have felt pain I was desperate to stop. I am doing well financially, but I have declared bankruptcy. I am working on my baker's dozen at home, but I have been without love and children. I know my destiny, but I have worried about dying. I am not pursuing death, but I have considered it.

As you can see, there are people who would experience a hole in their lives if you are not here to keep it full. Please do not seek such a goal. You would never know how many holes are left. Please live.

I´d say it is more important to listen, to be there.

My thoughts are with you and anon.

I say this, when death comes knocking nothings going to stop it from coming in. All we can do is face it like a man!

But the big question which needs to be asked is: What causes humanity to die in the first place?

"And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die....And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat....And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him...In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return." Genesis 2:16-17, 3:6,9,19.

So death began when God's command or law was disobeyed and broken. But what actually occurs when we disobey or transgress the law of God?

"Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law." 1 John 3:4.

All humanity can now have hope that there is indeed life after death--but only in Jesus Christ. No other human being: be he president or pope, evangelist or guru, shaman or priest, can offer anyone eternal life in truth. Life after death is only found in Jesus Christ because it is only Jesus that has been given "power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many" as are His (see John 17:2). And Jesus Christ is available to all humanity--even those considered to be in the lowest scale of human worth or in the deepest pit of sin.

One last thing, the originator of sin and death is SATAN (the father of lies).

Major sad.

I hope he comes forward because I think most of us are survivors just like him and most of us know what the walk is like.

Be brave anon.

To Anon.

I don't have words to heal or such, though I'm sure you're not seeking them anyway. But like so many others, I do relate to feelings of desperation. I had temporary loss of the use of my legs at one point due to stress. I've sat on the edge of a multistory weighing the pro's and con's of my next move. We're not one and the same, but most of my life I've felt similar - even in childhood. It's one of the reasons I'm such a heavy smoker... Because I ... sort of... look forward to closure but lack the testicular fortitude to do it abruptly.

Nonetheless, there are people who care - and we don't often recognise their concerns until the shit hits the fan in some or another respect. Although she herself has passed on, I saw my Mother try to move mountains for me when I was in a desperate frame of mind. I just wish I had been a little more accepting of her help when it was offered. Nonetheless, my point is - you may not recognise the love people have for you.

I may recommend you take a sincere rest from MRA activities - go out for a ride/drive and enjoy the world around you. Absorb the beauty of your land and gracefully allow it to overcome the black dog's aggression within.

There is so much beauty around - and just like our friend's love for us, we so often will never see it until we actually try to see it.

Please listen,

There are terrible things that can happen to a man that overwhelms him hopelessly. I have been overwhelmed. I have thought terrible terrible thoughts.
This is not to say that I know your suffering; I don’t. Nor would I be so bold as to say I even imagine it. But I can tell you that in the times in my life when I truly thought that there was no hope and giving up was the answer the only thing that I had to do was, well....procrastinate on giving up. It hurts, but I have found that in the landscape of a soul there is always a spring of hope somewhere if you were to just walk around a bit, and it is a much bigger land than you might think: much bigger than your problems. Think about your past and the heritage that it has given your spirit. Think about your journey, as painful as it has been, and think about the possibility of determining a better destination. If you stand in a spot and turn 380 degrees there are an infinite number of vectors that you can choose to go. Pick another one.
Light is everywhere even if at times you don’t see it. The just because there are clouds it does not mean the sun is not there. I think about how fragile we all are and remember things that have happened to friends who have been truly broken so I know that the above aphorisms sound condescending. So let me end with my original piece of advice:

Procrastinate!

God bless and remember that there are many people thinking about you

Our friend has noted the concern and the kindness expressed here and has permitted me to say some small items of his situation.

But I choose not to.

I prefer to maintain a confidential link to him so that I can speak my mind freely to him, in honesty and without pressure. He will speak for himself when he deems fit and when he can find the words.

This fine man's situation is not uncommon, even if rarely personally discussed. Far too many of our decent men suicide. It is a tragedy, a waste.

But he is determined not to let it be a waste and will speak when he is ready.

I grieve the loss of so many men that I do not know and have not known. Strangers in another land, in a newspaper article or an internet post they may be but every one adds to my sense of loss.

"Ask not for whom the bell tolls; it toll for thee".

And for me.

There are people on this forum that I argue and fight with. I disagree with many people on small points. I am a disagreeable, grumpy old sod much of the time. But whether I like someone or not; whether I agree with them or not; whether they like me or not, everyone here is valued by me, as I have no doubt at all that you who read this value everyone here too. This man is like any one of any of us here in his common humanity and I love him as my brother.

Dear Anon,

I don't know who you are but your anguish touches me. I have felt before the sort of pain you feel now. I know there are no magical words that I can say to make it go away. I do know though that no emotional state stays the same forever. If you can hang on long enough, this pain will subside and you will find joy again. Psychological pain is transient. It's a reaction to an event, and that reaction will pass even though it may hurt as it is processed. I'm not very good at expressing myself but I can be a good listener. You can talk to me and I will listen and I will hold what you say in confidence.

i remember being in what i thought was a hopeless situation and with no foreseeable good outcome or even a nuetral one,to look forward to-i know how it felt to be lost and desolate with hopelessness.
been there and done that--thats when i decided to FIGHT in every which way i could-that how i found this site among many others-thats how i found ppl with the same concerns as mine--this is what gave me hope--i am so glad to be here today(so are my kids) and i hope anon will be here tommorrow and all of this as a valuable lesson and a new need for his being.
Stay anon don't ever give up the fight-don't let them win-we all need you.

Well, I don't know if I have any words that will help, and, as we have limited details, I hope the words I do have are appropriate under the circumstances.

I spent a small bit of my own life deliberately trying to die. Eventually, one realizes that, unfortunately, despite how it feels, the pain isn't going to kill you and it actually is possible to live when every breath you take hurts and it feels like there's giant gaping hole in your chest where your heart should be.

There also comes the realization that no angels of grace are going to come and save you from the pain and the whole world goes on as usual and you are expected to somehow continue functioning when you're not even sure how you're going to make it through the next couple of minutes...not even sure how to make it through that next breath. It's upon these realizations that living can appear a less than appealing option.

All I realized at the end of this period was how much time I wasted trying to die, when I should have been trying to live. I made excuses for myself...perhaps some of them were legitimate. I was just surviving....doing the very best I could under the circumstances.

Maybe....but I wish I would have done better, I wish I didn't have any regrets.

I do the very best to make up for the time I wasted, to live every second of my life; giving to others and trying to add to the world and the lives of those around me....to not needlessly waste another minute of my life.

The main thing I learned was how important life is and that the greatest tragedy on this Earth is the waste of life.

I don't know what's going on with Anon. I don't know what you're going through or even who you are. What I do know is that the waste of your life would be a great tragedy.

I do know that I would mourn the waste of your life, as would Percy, as would all here, as would more people than you can imagine. There are lives you have touched without knowing. There are lives waiting for you to touch.

No matter how difficult our challenges are, no matter how horrible things are.....life is a gift, meant to be lived......even through the times that seem unlivable.

I have a favorite saying that runs on auto pilot in my head during those times when life is especially difficult.

"This too shall pass."