100 word short stories. I love writing them, they are a challenge. Here's a few:
No one spoke of him anymore. Hoagie could never figure out why his uncle had become the shame of the family. Uncle Mort was brilliant and funny, a bit odd in some ways but always an inventor.
Hoagie remembered the day his uncle gave him the notebook with detailed designs. “They're going to take me away Hoagie, they think I am insane.” Hoagie asked “Why Uncle Mort? You invent stuff that helps people alot.”
Uncle Mort smiled. “Yes Hoagie, I invent to help humanity. My truth field generators are active in Governments and Courthouses throughout the world.”
“He's too young, Papa! Don't let him see!” cried Miriam. “Woman, he's old enough!” Old Mark croaked. Jared strode into Agatha's cottage, bravado of youth burning and froze mid-stride, the odor hit him. He stared.
“Jared, we left Earth eons ago to escape the curse. Our lives grew longer because we outran it and hid. I'm over a million years old, many of us are.” Tears cascaded from Mark's green eyes, mourning his lifeless wife.
“See death, Jared. Understand it. The ancient hunter has found us. Go home and tell your Father, we fold out tonight.”
Mementos packed, goodbyes said. Young Stanley Arthur prepared to leave. His parents were distraught, his sister weepy. That didn't matter now.
Selected from 4 billion candidates, Stanley's mind and DNA, he was the perfect match. He would be galaxy’s away, becoming father to new races.
Ympeti, ancestors to thousands of races were dying. Indescribably beautiful, Ympeti females needed Stanley's seed. His boundless intelligence and keen mind terrified his people. He had to leave.
Better to let him go than face ultimate peace he proposed, unification of the new and old.
Humanity had rejected a God. Young Stanley was going home.
“Love is a construct without proportion. Analyze it, categorize it and still come up short. It is the basis of hate, death, and mayhem. Poets write endlessly about it, musicians and singers sing about it.”
“Love is the bane of existence and keeps women from true equality, it keeps women oppressed. Women love men in the false pretense that men will love them back. Why should women place their well-being in a false notion that only brings pain?”
“I see we have a question. What is it Mr. James?”
“Professor Kenton, you are full of shit.”
There's a terrorist behind every rock and bush.
There's terrorists that tweet.
There's terrorists that monitor communications.
There's a terrorist on your street.
Look, over there there's a terrorist buying cargo pants at the GAP.
I think there's a terrorist hiding behind that log!
My gosh, terrorists are everywhere. Two of them just drove past.
Oh No! The terrorists are in my house, one of them is my dog.
The terrorists are in the open, hiding in plain sight.
I'd go out and stop them if I could.
But the government says it isn't right.
"Leave the killing to us citizen!" the authorities yell
Hide under your bed and switch off the light.
Let the governmentt take care of us and cast a special anti-terrorist magic spell.
Life is really easy when you close your eyes and dream
Just make sure a terrorist isn't hiding in your mind, waiting to take you to Hell.
HAMLET AS TOLD ON THE STREETNow Francisco and Bernardo, they was guardin’ the castle,
Leanin’ on their spears, not lookin’ for no hassle,
Havin’ themselves a brew or two,
When out in the night they hear woo-wooo-wooo.
And here comes this ghost, lookin’ ragged and rank,
In a rusty suit of armor, goin’ clank, clank, clank.
They say, "Hey, Mr. Ghost, are you our dear departed king?"
But the ghost don’t say one motherfuckin’ thing.
He goes, "Wooo-wooo-wooo." They say, "Hey, we better split,
And go tell Hamlet about this shit." So they run find Hamlet, they say, "Hey, sweet Prince,
Your daddy’s ghost been seen runnin’ hither and hince.
He’s all full of maggots and he’s grizzly and grim,
Somethin’s rotten in Denmark and -- whew -- we think it’s him."
Hamlet say, "Oh, are you sure it’s my pop?
Did he have matty gray hair with a bald spot on top?
Did he have bright blue eyes that never know fear
And a tattoo says GERTRUDE FOREVER right here?"
They say, "Hey, the thing just flittered by our station,
We didn’t give him no phyical examination.
And we don’t know for sure if your daddy was the one,
But we do know a motherfuckin’ ghost when we see one."
Hamlet say, "Show me where you spied this spectral klunk
So I see if it’s my pop, or if you was both drunk."
So they bring ol’ Hamlet to the spot, and then
They wait five minutes and wooooo ---
Here he comes again.
He got gray skin, black teeth and hollow eyes,
Beckonin’ like this -- young Hamlet cries,
"Hold, spirit of darness, are you a ghostly apparition?"
"No," says the ghost, "I look like this from malnutrition.
Of course I’m a ghost, but sone, don’t be scared,
And I’ll tell you some shit that’ll fry your hair."
He says, "You got two relatives, I won’t say which,
But one’s a bloody murderer and one’s a faithless bitch.
Why, I was takin’ a nap in the garden right here,
When my ambitious brother pours some poison in my ear.
And before my body’s even cold he’s wearin’ my pajamas,
Layin’ up in my bed with my crown on his head,
Doin’ somethin’ sinful to your momma.
And the terrible thoughts of what they’re doin’ up there
Is more than a poor old ghost can bear.
So you gotta revenge me on this harlot and this knave
Or else I’ll never rest in my motherfuckin’ grave."
Well, this information just flips Hamlet out.
He starts walkin’ like this, with spit hangin’ out his mouth.
His eyes are all bleary and his tongue looks worse,
And he’s talkin’ in couplets and blank fuckin’ verse.
I mean the dude is indecisive,
He don’t know how he’d like his eggs,
And he’s got no opinion on tits, ass or legs.
He can’t decide which horse to play at the track,
And when they ask him what suit you wanna wear today?
He say, "Ah…um…gimme the black."
He calls his uncle a murderer,
Calls his momma a whore,
And he can’t get it up for Ophelia no more.
Oh, and Ophelia? She’s tryin’ her best
To make him feel better,
Wants to polish his crown jewels,
But he won’t let her.
"Stead of sayin’ yea, the fool says nay,
And the whole court’s figurin’ he must be gay.
Well, then in come Hamlet’s oldest friends,
Rosenstern and Guildencrantz,
They say, "Hey there, Ham, you gloomy Gus,
Get up – get down – and party with us.
We brought you some actores,
Some tunes and some lyrics
To put on a play to boost up your spirits."
Hamlet says, "Hey – songs and skits,
That gives me an idea that could stir up some shit.
We’ll put on a play –
"N" that could be just the thing
To catch the conscience of the king,
If there is a conscience in the motherfuckin’ king."
So Hamlet calls all the actors, he say, "’Fore this drama starts,
I’m gonna tell you suckers how to play your parts.
You gotta speak the speech
“The Little Boy and the Old Man
Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
I know what you mean," said the little old man.”
Men come to the Men’s Rights Movement in different ways.
For some, it’s a clap of thunder over your house in the dead of night. You are jolted from deep sleep to full consciousness in a heartbeat.
Most of us come to the new reality by a slow process. If you will, jigsaw puzzles in the recesses of your mind.
Time and experiences slowly click a piece at a time into place until the puzzle is complete and you begin to see the undeniable fact of how men are perceived and treated in Western society.
In a dark corner of your mind exists an old black and white television, covered in dust on a shelf next to an old instruction manual for a CD player and a box labeled “Stuff to do later”.
The TV has been there for years. It’s on and nothing much is seen on the screen except snow and flits of images that pass. The sound is turned down because it’s just a low hiss of white noise. You ignore the TV, nothing of interest is on. The wire clothes hanger antenna isn’t picking up much.
Time goes by and life winds its course. Something happens to you at work or in your life that does not seem right. Perhaps you are out with some friends and see a man and woman arguing across the street. She knees him in the testicles and he drops to the ground in pain. All of you exclaim in unison “OOOoooooo” “Ouch!” Someone says: “What did he do to deserve that? The girls in your group giggle and point at the guy doubled over in pain.
There’s an image on the old black and white TV, you glance over at it then look away. A feeling that something is not right about the situation swirls around in your mind, kicking up a bit of dust. You notice the TV set is much closer than it was previously.
*Click* The puzzle has the first piece laid down.
Life continues and the trials and tribulations of your existence move slowly forward. Situations happen to you that have no logical explanation. Maybe your boss promoted a woman in your office to a senior position. The woman is out sick 5 days a month and you have had to pick up her slack for a couple years. The office has become almost all female due to the hiring preferences of your supervisor.
The office flirt constantly makes sexual innuendo comments to you, she’s even described her favorite dildo she calls “Big Max”. Sick of this behavior, you report her to your boss. Your boss seems concerned but says you must be misunderstanding the situation. Your boss tells you to get a sense of humor. She’s abrupt and dismissive of your concerns. The complaint you addressed to your supervisor was dismissed as a shortcoming in your character.
*Click* *Click* *Click*
The black and white TV in your mind now has a clear picture and the volume has been turned up. The show called “Your Life” is on. The TV is much closer now. You watch the show for a time, feeling irritated and a bit frustrated. A thought traverses your mind: “Is it like this for other guys? Am I the only one seeing this stuff?”
Work begins to consume your life’s focus. Responsibility and determination are your mantra.
After a long work week a couple pints of beer are in order. Down at the pub there’s a game on and the early evening crowd is just starting to arrive.
A commercial for Demarche Jewelers comes on the television. A handsome couple sits down at a bistro table; the beautiful young woman is showing off her Diamond encrusted tennis bracelet to her obviously jealous girlfriends. A slovenly dressed man sits down next to his supermodel wife. He’s late and needs a shave badly. She looks at her cheap tennis bracelet with one small diamond and gets a look of disgust. She pulls out her pocket book and slaps her slovenly dressed husband across the face with it. The commercial ends with the phrase “Demarche jewelers, when only the best will do. Don’t be that guy”.
“What the hell??” you say out loud. Stasha, the barkeep notices. He walks over “Yah, dats bad stuff. Dem Joolaws use dem blood diamonds from Africa.” The point was missed by a few thousand miles.
*Click* *Click* *Click* * Click* The puzzle is taking shape.
Later on at home that night there is a strange feeling, not good, not right. The “Your Life” show is on but it’s different.
The black and white TV is gone!
There is a 25” color flat screen in its place. The volume is up and clear, the picture is bright and realistic looking. Events of the day and evening scroll by, the Jeweler commercial come up again.
In your mind you shout “What the Fuck!!” as you review the commercial. Agitated and irritated, you go off to bed.
Weeks go by; months go by, perhaps a year or two. The 25”
I think both genders have a problem with settling for an average person. Most of these people are very average themselves, but don't realize it.
Liked On: 3rd-February-2013, 11:03 PM
"If i can just manage one more load of laundry or one more meal per week, then my wife will have that corner office she's always wanted" Said no husband ever......................
Liked On: 25th-January-2013, 12:23 AM
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 05:14 PM
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:39 AM
Doesn't it, though? Taxation of personal income by coercion and seizure is where it began here. The precedent was created, and largely accepted by the populace in exchange for lifestyle amenities...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:37 AM
Every country we know of has faced the same problem. For a thousand years we have been rolling back the power of Autocrats of various hues: the warlords, the kings, the emperors, the parliaments. And...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:37 AM
Feminists noisily proclaim how women are forced into prostitution because of 'desperation,' but the reality is, it beats knuckling down to some honest hard graft for less recompense. The welfare...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:18 AM
When a woman (ok, some) is feeling the pressure of looking after herself, having so pissed off the father of her children that he is no longer around, what does she do? Take her clothes off. ...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:17 AM
Damn that's embarrassing. I'm pretty sure the devil made those poor darlings do it. "heavy sarcasm" If this report is accurate, then those single mothers are low down parasites and leeches who...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:16 AM
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:14 AM
Hello everyone.. It is I, the evil overlord of AM and perennial nightmare puppeteer to many AM members.. I come with but a brief message of gratitude and humility. Recently I was taking my...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:10 AM
I am hearing about this a lot and I have a bunch of questions regarding it. I concerned that this is only true depending on your definition of 'man'. Just like how Feminists say that (all, or 1/4,...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:07 AM
:eek: Wow. I owe people like you a debt of gratitude for fighting for your rights. I didn't haven't it nearly this hard and I think its thanks to people like you. I simply requested child...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:04 AM
I think there is definitely a state of incredulity of both sexes that women should pay child support at all. I've found the 'general' attitude of women is still terribly outdated and sexist, that...
Liked On: 21st-January-2013, 09:04 AM
one should remember that the so called labor government created the single mother pensions in circa 1973 in line with the feminit ideology that men are a lower form of life not fit to be fathers (...
Liked On: 20th-January-2013, 12:53 AM