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Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage

This is a discussion on Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage within the Marriage/Divorce, Children, Choice for Men anti misandry forums, part of the General category; http://www.tulsabeacon.com/?p=864 Fragmentation of families is damaging to Oklahoma September 4th, 2008 The ripple effects of family fragmentation are costing Oklahoma ...

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    Percy's Avatar
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    Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage


    http://www.tulsabeacon.com/?p=864

    Fragmentation of families is damaging to Oklahoma

    September 4th, 2008

    The ripple effects of family fragmentation are costing Oklahoma taxpayers millions of dollars each year and the problem may only get larger, officials warned state lawmakers this week.

    Members of the House Human Services committee heard from a wide range of experts and agency leaders during a legislative study requested by state Rep. Mark McCullough, who said the state needs to change the way it deals with family issues.

    “When it comes to the problem of family disintegration, we are like a deer in the headlights,” said McCullough, R-Sapulpa. “Everyone is affected by the issue, but we’re afraid to address it because we know none of us is perfect. Unfortunately, that allows the problem to grow and the price tag keeps expanding. It’s time we put more effort into enacting policies that support marriages and help families both survive and thrive.”

    McCullough noted lawmakers were “very fortunate” to hear from several national experts and state agency heads as part of the study.

    Dr. Jeff Frey, chairman of the Marriage Co-Mission, noted that the national divorce rate has hovered around the 50 percent mark for about 20 years and that the marriage rate has plunged 48 percent since 1970.

    In 1960, he noted that just 5 percent of all births were to unwed mothers but that figure grew to 36 percent by 2000 – a 700 percent increase.
    Today, 33 percent of American children live away from their fathers and 40 percent of those kids never see their fathers in a typical year.

    Those trends have a huge impact on both society and government. Frey and other officials noted that children from broken homes are seven times more likely to live in poverty, three times as likely to be expelled from school and achieve lower grades, and 12 times more likely to be incarcerated.

    Children from broken homes also tend to have poorer emotional and physical health, which is further complicated by the fact that many uninsured children are from single-parent homes.

    Research indicates that the resulting taxpayer cost of divorce (largely through public assistance programs) now stands at $112 billion per year nationally and $430 million annually in Oklahoma – and those are conservative estimates.

    Frey noted the “script of marriage” has been lost in large segments of the culture and the issue is now one of “know-how.” Frey has identified seven key factors that influence the health of marriage in America: corporate, media, church, community mobilization, education, youth, law and/or government.

    Mike Jestes, director of the Oklahoma Family Policy Council, noted the state of Oklahoma would be better off spending money “on the front end” to preserve marriages than on the back end to “clean up” the problems created by family fragmentation.

    For example, he noted state spending on the criminal justice system has grown 510 percent since 1982 and that a large share of that problem is likely tied to family fragmentation.

    Jestes said that the faith community could play an augmented role in the prevention of family fragmentation. In Oklahoma, he noted 74 percent of all weddings occur in a church and that many couples call the church first when they have problems.

    Echoing the assessment of other experts, John Stanley, director of the Marriage and Family Foundation, said for every $1 spent on keeping families together, government spends $1000 on “clean up” from the fallout of broken families.

    Stanley said publicity efforts could play a role, such as a 13-state media campaign planned in the coming months that will promote positive messages for troubled marriages. That campaign will include the Oklahoma market, he said.

    Beyond the social benefits, relational-wellness initiatives could also have positive impact in the workplace and Oklahoma economy.

    Dr. Greg Smalley, the director of the Center for Relational Enrichment, noted that the communication skills required to maintain a strong marriage also transfer to the workplace, such as the ability to understand others and work cooperatively.

    Smalley has worked with many large corporations across the country to implement state-of-the-art “Emotional Intelligence” programs that teach business leaders how to constructively manage emotions in the workplace.
    Officials noted the state of Oklahoma has been a leader in pro-marriage initiatives and is already experiencing some success.

    For example, Kendy Cox, an official with Public Strategies, noted the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative has served 152,845 individuals to date. The OMI has also provided relationship training for 15,000 students in grades 9-12.

    State law allows couples who complete an OMI class to obtain a marriage license for only $5. That incentive apparently is working since there has been a slow but steady increase in the issuance of those discounted licenses since 2007.

    McCullough noted there was “strong agreement” among the marriage and family experts who spoke at the legislative study that “we now have very effective tools for relationship management and crisis intervention.” He said the challenge for policymakers is to increase access to those tools.

    He also noted the “unanimous consent” among agency heads – a group including the leaders of the Department of Human Service, Department of Corrections, Office of Juvenile Affairs, and the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services – that a better model for addressing family problems would require “moving upstream” and intervening before the problem reached a crisis.

    “While government cannot fix everything, it can do a lot more than we’re doing today to help preserve families,” McCullough said.

    Echoing Glenn Stanton with Focus on the Family, McCullough noted that “for too long government’s role in marriage has been limited to issuing marriage licenses and divorce decrees. I believe this study demonstrates that government has a much larger stake in the health of our families than many people realized. We have learned that there are policies and incentives that will have a positive impact on marriages. And, given the price tag taxpayers pay because of family fragmentation, we literally cannot afford to continue ignoring this issue.”

    Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum
    Love the Sinner but not the Sin.
    (St. Augustine)

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers,
    against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. “
    (and within ourselves)
    (Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)

    A Feminist is a human being who has lost her way and turned vicious.
    If you meet one on the road as you Go your Own Way,
    offer kindness but keep your sword drawn.
    (Me)





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    Re: Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage

    This initiative is doomed. At least as far as improving human relationships and repairing the damage to families.

    Anything that advocates more government interference in these areas is a recipe for disaster. It is government interference in families that started the rot; more interference has only made it worse. It can only carry on making it worse still.

    Of course, in terms of creating more pseudo-jobs at enormous public expense, and expanding the potential for yet more interference, job-creation and wasteful spending for future generations of bureaucrats, it has every chance of being a roaring success - at least until the gravy train hits the buffers.

    I wish it ill.

    And remind me not to settle in Oklahoma.

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    Re: Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage

    "Well what shall we do?"

    "Lets blame more fathers!"
    The men's and fathers' movement needs to make sure it never sees females as the enemy,
    but only misandry--whether from females or from males.
    If not, we'll become like the bigoted feminists that this movement was formed to oppose.
    Glenn Sacks
    Disclaimer:
    http://antimisandry.com/109272-post69.html

    Blog:
    http://feck-blog.blogspot.com/

    Fecks Warcraft File:

    http://antimisandry.com/chit-chat-ma...ile-16039.html

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Re: Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage

    Of course, in terms of creating more pseudo-jobs at enormous public expense, and expanding the potential for yet more interference, job-creation and wasteful spending for future generations of bureaucrats
    What's the betting that three out of four of those jobs will be taken by women.

    Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum
    Love the Sinner but not the Sin.
    (St. Augustine)

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers,
    against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. “
    (and within ourselves)
    (Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)

    A Feminist is a human being who has lost her way and turned vicious.
    If you meet one on the road as you Go your Own Way,
    offer kindness but keep your sword drawn.
    (Me)





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    Re: Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage

    Maxist feminits want the father outta the equation anyhow more public servants to provide for these fatherless kid is the long term aim of the Marxist feminits anyway

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    Kim
    Kim is offline Established Member
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    Re: Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage

    “While government cannot fix everything, it can do a lot more than we’re doing today to help preserve families,” McCullough said.

    Echoing Glenn Stanton with Focus on the Family, McCullough noted that “for too long government’s role in marriage has been limited to issuing marriage licenses and divorce decrees.
    Please. Government has for some time aided and abetted in the destruction of marriages and families. So very unsurprising that at this juncture they should absolve themselves of any major involvement.

    As Paul mentioned, any governmental involvement with families very far removed from staying the heck out is just going to result in further failure.

    If they really wish to address the situation, they may want to start with putting an end to no-fault divorces and state mandated alimony, child support and custody......taking themselves out of the equation instead of even more firmly in.

    Of course, even such things aside, the government can't pass a law that will instill people with values. They can't create morality or commitment....can't infuse people with positive character traits that they never bothered developing. IMO, the current state of the family has at least as much to do with a lack of morals, values and character as it does with legalities.
    "Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love; every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle; every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self-control; every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by being, doing, and living of good for the very good’s sake—that is spirituality." -David O. McKay

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

    http://equalbutdifferent.blogspot.com/

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    Re: Waking up Late to the Importance of Marriage

    The best thing the government can do is NOTHING. When in doubt, the government should do NOTHING. When the government endeavors to promote justice, it ends up creating injustice. The purpose of government is not to promote good; it is to stop evil. There is a significant difference. Bastiat said it best:

    From Bastiat's The Law:

    Law Is a Negative Concept
    The harmlessness of the mission performed by law and lawful defense is self-evident; the usefulness is obvious; and the legitimacy cannot be disputed.
    As a friend of mine once remarked, this negative concept of law is so true that the statement, the purpose of the law is to cause justice to reign, is not a rigorously accurate statement. It ought to be stated that the purpose of the law is to prevent injustice from reigning. In fact, it is injustice, instead of justice, that has an existence of its own. Justice is achieved only when injustice is absent.
    But when the law, by means of its necessary agent, force, imposes upon men a regulation of labor, a method or a subject of education, a religious faith or creed — then the law is no longer negative; it acts positively upon people. It substitutes the will of the legislator for their own wills; the initiative of the legislator for their own initiatives. When this happens, the people no longer need to discuss, to compare, to plan ahead; the law does all this for them. Intelligence becomes a useless prop for the people; they cease to be men; they lose their personality, their liberty, their property.
    Try to imagine a regulation of labor imposed by force that is not a violation of liberty; a transfer of wealth imposed by force that is not a violation of property. If you cannot reconcile these contradictions, then you must conclude that the law cannot organize labor and industry without organizing injustice.
    If you want to royally screw anything up, get the government involved. Beaurocrats, politicians, and cops will find a way to rake in revenue and curtail liberty.
    "Rights for women and responsibilities for men is really license for women, slavery for men, and liberty for neither. " Dylan MacVillain


 

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