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Third of Family Break-Up Children lose Contact with Fathers in ‘Failing’ Court System

This is a discussion on Third of Family Break-Up Children lose Contact with Fathers in ‘Failing’ Court System within the Marriage/Divorce, Children, Choice for Men anti misandry forums, part of the General category; From jeremy Swanson in Canada. <<" Tens of thousands of children a year are losing contact with their fathers because ...

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    Third of Family Break-Up Children lose Contact with Fathers in ‘Failing’ Court System


    From jeremy Swanson in Canada.

    <<" Tens of thousands of children a year are losing contact with their fathers because of “failing” family court system and disastrous custody arrangements, a study has found.">>


    Oh yeah? They are telling us this now? As if no-one knows? Have we not known this all along in the USA, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, India, South Africa, Europe and the rest of the "west" ? We have known this for years ! And did we not try to tell the media and the politicians how much damage was being done? And now here they are announcing what we all know in a new "study" and a "poll". Good heavens we provided them with concrete evidence. Real life case histories. For Years ! Was no-one listening? Are they still not listening to us? How many of the Fathers on these lists could provide personal witness, evidence and testimony to any "study" wherever it is in the world? And its the British Media which reveals this to us in North America? Where is OUR own media? Where are OUR politicians? Where are OUR studies? Well we have those alright (ask Dr Ed Kruk for a start) but no-one pays any attention when they come out.
    JS






    Third of family break-up children lose contact with fathers in ‘failing’ court system, poll

    Tens of thousands of children a year are losing contact with their fathers because of “failing” family court system and disastrous custody arrangements, a study has found

    By John Bingham
    Published: 12:01AM GMT 16 Nov 2009

    GMT 16 Nov 2009

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/divorce/6575997/Third-of-family-break-up-children-lose-contact-with-fathers-in-failing-court-system-poll.html



    Iain Duncan Smith said the family court system was 'a mess' with fathers too often shut out
    Photo: GEOFF PUGH

    One in three children whose parents separated or divorced over the last 20 years disclosed that they had lost contact permanently with their father.

    Almost a tenth of children from broken families said the acrimonious process had left them feeling suicidal while others later sought solace in drink, drugs or crime.

    They complained of feeling “isolated” and “used” while parents admitted having used children as “bargaining tools” against each other.

    Lawyers said the study showed that the court system itself was making family break-up more acrimonious with children used as "pawns".

    They warned that so-called “no fault” divorces were encouraging warring parents to channel their “bloodletting” into disputes over contact.

    Opposition politicians said the poll presented an alarming picture of a system “in a mess” which was all too often leaving fathers “shut out”.

    The poll of 4,000 parents and children was carried out to provide a snapshot of the workings of the family court system exactly 20 years after the implementation of the landmark 1989 Children Act.

    It found that a third of children from broken families had been tempted by drink or drugs while as many as 10 per cent had later become involved in crime.

    A quarter of the children said that they had been asked to lie to one parent by the other and 15 per cent said they had even been called on to “spy” for their mother or father.

    Meanwhile half of parents polled admitted deliberately drawing out the legal process for maximum benefit and more than two thirds conceded that they had used their children as “bargaining tools”.

    About 250,000 couples, both married and non-married, separate every year affecting 350,000 kids, according to the Department for Children Schools and Families.

    “The adversarial nature of the system invites people to come and use the courts system as a punch up and the children get used as pawns," said Sandra Davis, head of family law at Mishcon de Reya, for whom the poll was conducted.
    “It polarises parents and it puts children in the middle of the antagonism.

    “Some fathers back off because it is too painful to carry on litigating, they gi
    ve up.”

    Tim Loughton, the Tory Shadow children’s minister, said: “This is alarming evidence of the very detrimental impact it is having on the welfare of the children themselves.”

    “Clearly, the court system is failing and is positively encouraging conflict - and continuing conflict.”

    Iain Duncan Smith, the former Conservative leader and founder of the Centre for Social Justice, warned that young people were bearing the scars of a divorce “boom” and a resulting lack of father figures.

    “It is a mess, it needs a complete overhaul," he said. "It is an organisation locked in secrecy and deeply unhelpful to the parents and the children and all too often able to exacerbate the problems that they are about to face.”

    David Laws, the Liberal Democrat children’s spokesman, added: “In too many cases the children become caught up in the crossfire between two warring parties in a system which sometimes encourages the parents to take entrenched positions.”

    Miss Davis called for compulsory mediation for parents hoping to use the divorce courts rather than the current ”tick box” exercise for those seeking legal aid.
    But a spokesman for the Children’s Society said that compulsion “goes against everything we have learned from many, many years of experience”.

    Delyth Morgan, the children’s minister, added: “Divorce and separation can have a devastating impact on children caught in the middle.

    “But this survey, looking as far back as 20 years ago, simply doesn’t reflect what support is available for families now … we have acted to give families comprehensive counselling, practical and legal support.”

    Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum
    Love the Sinner but not the Sin.
    (St. Augustine)

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers,
    against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. “
    (and within ourselves)
    (Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)

    A Feminist is a human being who has lost her way and turned vicious.
    If you meet one on the road as you Go your Own Way,
    offer kindness but keep your sword drawn.
    (Me)





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    Re: Slowly someone is noticing the carnage all around.

    New Zealand has compulsory mediation and we have the Aussie fathers who protested for a long time to thank for this.

    It is such a shame, no-it is terrible, to see feminists fighting to keep fathers out in Australia and go backwards.

    One radical feminist meeting I went to was encouraging the feminists in New Zealand to fight the system so we loose mediation because they say, (from America) that any time a father goes to the family court it is to control the mother.

    I think all countries have to fight for their own democracy so that the power goes back to the people rather than international movements like feminism.
    Ignorance is the Oppressor, Vigilance the Liberator.

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    Thumbs up Re: Slowly someone is noticing the carnage all around.

    Still a little bit of ignorence here but you closest superhero is on the case (Just trying to formulate the words)http://www.mysun.co.uk/go/thread/vie...er?num=10&pg=3
    As for Ian Duncun-Smith 'Occasional' family spokes person for the Tory party he is too easily bullied by Harriet Harman; (Note Dimbleby's shakey hand)
    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtANCL3lAoo"]YouTube- BBC Question Time - Impartial or working for the Labour party ?[/ame]
    at least Davey brings some sense of reality to the proceedings
    http://www.daveyonefamilylawman.blogspot.com/

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    Re: Slowly someone is noticing the carnage all around.

    Quote Quote from julie View Post
    New Zealand has compulsory mediation and we have the Aussie fathers who protested for a long time to thank for this.

    It is such a shame, no-it is terrible, to see feminists fighting to keep fathers out in Australia and go backwards.

    One radical feminist meeting I went to was encouraging the feminists in New Zealand to fight the system so we loose mediation because they say, (from America) that any time a father goes to the family court it is to control the mother.

    I think all countries have to fight for their own democracy so that the power goes back to the people rather than international movements like feminism.
    Funny thing is that when they claim a father who goes to court controls the mother is that they themselves do everything they can to give mothers a ridiculous and corrupting amount of control, and they just keep pushing and pushing for more...

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    Re: Slowly someone is noticing the carnage all around.

    Compulsory mediation sounds like a good idea so long as the mediator is not influenced by profit, propaganda, feminism, or politics....but has the family's best interests at heart.

    "Civilization can only revive when there shall come into being in a number of individuals a new tone of mind, independent of the prevalent one among the crowds, and in opposition to it- a tone of mind which will gradually win influence over the collective one, and in the end determine its character. Only an ethical movement can rescue us from barbarism, and the ethical comes into existence only in individuals."

    "Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace."
    -Albert Schweitzer

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    Re: Slowly someone is noticing the carnage all around.

    Quote Quote from Incognito View Post
    Compulsory mediation sounds like a good idea so long as the mediator is not influenced by profit, propaganda, feminism, or politics....but has the family's best interests at heart.


    mediation in canada is a joke--it is more about getting the man to succumb to the woman's wishes and if he doesn't then he is automatically alienated out of his children's lives

    the so called mediators i have encountered seem to be feminist indoctrinated

    or as i like to say--hired "hit women" or in other words "feminazi SS father assassin's".

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    Re: Slowly someone is noticing the carnage all around.

    Quote Quote from outdoors View Post
    mediation in canada is a joke--it is more about getting the man to succumb to the woman's wishes and if he doesn't then he is automatically alienated out of his children's lives

    the so called mediators i have encountered seem to be feminist indoctrinated

    or as i like to say--hired "hit women" or in other words "feminazi SS father assassin's".
    That's disturbing.....so mediators in Canada really aren't interested in what's best for the children or fathers? They just act on the interests of women/mothers?

    "Civilization can only revive when there shall come into being in a number of individuals a new tone of mind, independent of the prevalent one among the crowds, and in opposition to it- a tone of mind which will gradually win influence over the collective one, and in the end determine its character. Only an ethical movement can rescue us from barbarism, and the ethical comes into existence only in individuals."

    "Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace."
    -Albert Schweitzer

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    Re: Slowly someone is noticing the carnage all around.

    Updated the thread title to make it more clear.
    ~ Support Fathers & Families for Father's Rights and Equal Parenting! Go to fathersandfamilies.org ~

    ~ Fathers & FamiliesTM improves the lives of children and strengthens society by protecting the child’s right to the love and care of both parents after separation or divorce. ~

    ~ Feminism = Every bad thing any man has ever committed highlighted and exaggerated; every bit of good systematically undermined, vilified or ignored. ~

    ~ A man needs a woman like a lion needs a stove. ~

    ~ Women deserve only equal opportunity, not equal outcomes. ~

    ~ Men are not collectively "guilty" of anything. ~

    ~ Never needing to be pregnant is a blessing. ~

    ~ Feminist ideology “men have to respect women, but women have no reason to respect men” ~

    ~ Everybody makes choices, and nobody should be entitled to special treatment because of those choices.
    Equal results based on unequal treatment amounts to no kind of equality at all. ~

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    Re: Third of Family Break-Up Children lose Contact with Fathers in ‘Failing’ Court Sy

    Talk sport radio had a phone on this issue today, quite a lot of blokes rang in to air their stories, i didn't hear all of it (unfortunately) as i was in and out the car a lot. But at least its an indication that their stories are “starting” to get a hearing in the main stream media, and if nothing else it could help to forewarn other blokes of the dangers they may face in the family courts.

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    Thumbs up Re: Third of Family Break-Up Children lose Contact with Fathers in ‘Failing’ Court Sy

    This problem will not go away until it is solved!
    www.daveyonefamilylawman.blogspot.com

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    Re: Third of Family Break-Up Children lose Contact with Fathers in ‘Failing’ Court Sy

    Initially I myself was stopped from having contact with my children because I didn't respond well to the threats of my ex.

    This lasted all of two weeks (that's two weeks too long away from my kids) I decided to go down the route of knocking on the door and causing a scene issuing demands and ultimatums...My kids needed a Father and they were going to get one.

    I don't speak to the Woman, not even about school or haircuts or Xmas's (The kids came to mine this Xmas because they are old enough to make their voices heard, it was my FIRST Xmas day with them) A long time ago I figured out that absolutely NO contact with her was best for the Children even though she's always demanding some sort of mutual reconcilliation for the kids sake...No means no.

    9 Years on from that my Children know I love them and they know that parental alienation almost happened because their own Mother stupidly told them in a fit of rage.

    In the case of Australia Feminists should be brought down a peg or two because in my experience every Feminist I have ever met has been of the middle sex (Neither Male or Female) and what right have they got to an opinion?


 

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