If one is to assume that "teen marraiges" are very likely to fail, then what is the alternative?

Marry at an age when one is obviously not going to spend "a lifetime" together because quite simply most of your "life" has now become history?

And if that is the case, what does one do in the period of time that could have been spent "married?"..

Its all rather irrational and loaded with presumptions to suggest that teens and young people should not marry because they have more chance of the marraige failing..

Look a tit this way..

I married when I was 21, to a 19 year old wife...

We stayed married for 7 years or so..

At the age of 28 or so, I had a "failed marraige"..

However, many 28 year old men would have had several failed relationships in that period of time, some of which could have of course been pretty much the same as a marraige in reality..

I think getting married young is a good thing for folk who want to get married, because the alternatives are not so good!

I agree with you felix, getting married young is good. It may have sounded like I was against it, but I'm not. I like the idea of marrying a teenage girl. The question was mostly to get your attention.

Anyway, I hope this helps people have a better, more successful marriage.

People will have more successful marraiges when the state stops encouraging women to break them up.. (Men do not usually need much encouragement, they prefer to keep their wives and kids under their control as is required to keep a good ship!)

Quote from felixblue

People will have more successful marraiges when the state stops encouraging women to break them up.. (Men do not usually need much encouragement, they prefer to keep their wives and kids under their control as is required to keep a good ship!)

Yep. The Bible teaches men to "rule their house well" and women "submit yourself unto your husbands". It's very simple and always works.

Three points that help make a marriage successful, from the thesis:
- commitment
- communication
- intimacy
- priorities/spirituality

I'm now into the family section in the thesis.

Quote from FloatyBoaty

Yep. The Bible teaches men to "rule their house well" and women "submit yourself unto your husbands". It's very simple and always works.

Three points that help make a marriage successful, from the thesis:
- commitment
- communication
- intimacy
- priorities/spirituality

I'm now into the family section in the thesis.

Good work!

By the way, which of the 3 points of the 4/5 did you mean?

Quote from felixblue

Good work!

By the way, which of the 3 points of the 4/5 did you mean?

oooops, my bad. I meant "four". The last one can be viewed as a single point. It is kind of the same after all.

Thanks for the invite, FB. I'm afraid I'm hardly the one to comment on teen marriages from my own direct experience. I married at twenty-three to a girl of eighteen, and it fell apart after fifteen years. I could say we were both too young and in a sense that is true, but what our youth turned into at the point of unifying our interests became something that we ended up feeling like we wasted a lot of on each other, and each other's families.

Aside from myself, there is no shortage of data. My parents married at nineteen and have a sixtieth coming up. I have seen marriages begin very young all over, and there is no telling how it will turn out until it just does, whatever way.

But I do know that the role of the in-laws and each spouse's extended family is enormous. If nothing else, young folks might well weigh what entering into each other's families really means, because those influences unmatched by a strong commitment by both spouses to the independence of their marriage can overwhelm young married people early on, and stunt their ability each and together to live their own way. And, when children come along, this is even more critical to their future.

The book you linked is massive and I will get to it when I can. But enjoy the conversation. Hope this helps it.

Quote from dinohip51

But I do know that the role of the in-laws and each spouse's extended family is enormous. If nothing else, young folks might well weigh what entering into each other's families really means, because those influences unmatched by a strong commitment by both spouses to the independence of their marriage can overwhelm young married people early on, and stunt their ability each and together to live their own way. And, when children come along, this is even more critical to their future.

The book you linked is massive and I will get to it when I can. But enjoy the conversation. Hope this helps it.

Yes, I think most thesis' are kinda long.

One thing I noticed is that separation from their families and focus on the new family that they have begun was a factor that helped the marriage succeed. So, separation from one's former family, once married, is actually a good thing.

I got married at 35 so its difficult for me to comment as well, but its an interesting perspective.

In India, arranged marraiges are often the norm and from what I have heard they are very happy and successful, but then again with the Karma Sutra they dont have hang ups about sex, and India is largely feminist free

The marriage rate has dropped to 51%.

You're not saving anything.........

The five points it gives to a good marriage are:
commitment
communication
intimacy
shared beliefs
family

I'd say that these are some good pointers.

Quote from FloatyBoaty

The five points it gives to a good marriage are:
commitment
communication
intimacy
shared beliefs
family

I'd say that these are some good pointers.

Commitment - an example of this would be no divorce without a good reason.

Communication - this doesn't consist of belittling, lying or conversing with lawyers over how many assets you can get post-marriage.

Intimacy - this doesn't mean with everyone else besides your spouse.

Shared beliefs - Beliefs are one thing. They need shared convictions.

Family - as far as family goes, not tearing it apart with court orders helps significantly.

Felixblu makes the fine point that marriages would stand more chance of success if the State did not encourage the break ups. I might add also the more recent encouragement of anyone and her dog getting married to same-sex dogs does marriage no good at all for any age group and simply devalues the prime drive for marriage.

As for teens marrying: my views on the sanctity of marriage and the role of marriage in facilitating a deep understanding of humanity and oneself, are well known. As is my view that decisons by people who still have the cradle marks on their bums are likely to be as immature as they are.

But human nature being largely natural as it is, sense and logical thought is as recent as it is rare, and emotional decisions are the norm. So if teens are to marry, the very least that is needed is support of the 'Marriage' itself and an encouragement of the couple to work hard at what is required for it to be successful.

It is not in the slightest helpful to consult 2-3000 year old books written for arab shepherds and fishermen, most of whom had not got around to brushing their teeth, voting, using an iPod or driving carefully past schools at under 40kph.

Quote from Percy

Felixblu makes the fine point that marriages would stand more chance of success if the State did not encourage the break ups. I might add also the more recent encouragement of anyone and her dog getting married to same-sex dogs does marriage no good at all for any age group and simply devalues the prime drive for marriage.

As for teens marrying: my views on the sanctity of marriage and the role of marriage in facilitating a deep understanding of humanity and oneself, are well known. As is my view that decisons by people who still have the cradle marks on their bums are likely to be as immature as they are.

But human nature being largely natural as it is, sense and logical thought is as recent as it is rare, and emotional decisions are the norm. So if teens are to marry, the very least that is needed is support of the 'Marriage' itself and an encouragement of the couple to work hard at what is required for it to be successful.

It is not in the slightest helpful to consult 2-3000 year old books written for arab shepherds and fishermen, most of whom had not got around to brushing their teeth, voting, using an iPod or driving carefully past schools at under 40kph.

I like your comment; very useful.

But, what books are you referring to? The thesis was done in 2004.