Does divorce make us stronger ?

**sealion** · 9th-December-2011

I am asking this ,because I actually feel stronger , following my divorce ,some 3 years ago .
I learned a hell of a lot during that time , not least about what blood sucking vermin solicitors (Lawyers to our US cousins ) .
I was one of the lucky ones ,I was able to buy a house again ,and have retained contact with my children .
Believe it or not ,I am now re-married . She is a good woman , She looks after me ,I look after her . She is old fashioned and so am I . I still believe in marriage (tho I can understand why many men will disagree ) .
As I am now , I am financially stable for the 1st time since the seperation . I have actually helped my wife get out of debt . I know many on here will think I am mad , and that she could , in theory , financialy shaft me .
Here is where my strength comes in . If she ever did , I would not go to some scumbag solicitor . I would take matters into my own hands . Woe betide anyone who ever tries to take my house from me .
I have decided , that if divorce ever happened again (I really don't think it will tho ) then I would defend my home against the powers that be , using whatever force I deemed necessary .
This is my strength .

**Nynrah Ghost** · 9th-December-2011

I can't tell from experience and I intend to keep it that way. Despite that, personally I can't imagine how a divorce could make me stronger (eventually). I can only imagine how it could make me bitter.

**Percy** · 9th-December-2011

Things that do not kill you , make you strong. But the rest kill you.

**michael k** · 9th-December-2011

Do you own any guns? No disrespect (suppose am still very bitter) but WHAT did you learn first time around? With the help of friends i not only managed to save/keep my house and my kids are still with me despite paying her "custody support" . . .

Divorce is a "process" and one either learns and grows or not.

I share ur opinion of lawyers - i'd SHOOT every one, if could get away with it and as far as "suicide" is concerned truly it is a waste of time when one could just as easily BE MAKING A STATEMENT; i'm thinking of the recent NH courthouse steps incident where, if me, i'd have definately gone out GUNS BLAZING instead!

**julie** · 9th-December-2011

I agree partially with Percy.

Quote from Percy

Things that do not kill you , make you strong.

I can't accept divorce itself 'as in the piece of paper' makes one stronger, cause I am finally going for one after many years of separation and cause I haven't heard anything about or from my ex in a year I assume it won't affect him either (he has been with a lovely lady for 7 years now).

But I can and do accept the process of divorce when alongside separation makes people stronger. Even if their strength grows into hate or bitterness or rebuilding or choosing another path or a combination of these and more.

I am happy for you and that you share your experience. I think it's all about personal choice and hope lots of people who have been through the experience you have or are, will have positive outcomes no matter what they choose.

**The Possible Human** · 9th-December-2011

Divorce didn't make me stronger, it simply honed the warrior in me to a keen edge. After all the crap I went through with the court system, I can say the process is intended to destroy men for the benefit of lawyers, the state, and the ex-wife.

I've seen acquaintances and old school chums utterly destroyed by the family courts. Some will never recover. Some became nasty, bitter men with an axe to grind. One tried to kill himself by shooting himself through the temple. He survived and is blind now and deaf in his right ear.

Does divorce make you stronger? For some, perhaps. For most it leaves a wound that may scab over, but never really heals.