23rd-April-2008
|
 | Men's rights activist | | | |
http://truewifeconfessions.blogspot.com/ Quote:
Confession #001
Maybe the scratches on the top of car weren't caused by the car wash. Maybe they were caused by your daughter cheerfully clearing the car off with the steel tipped snow shovel. Maybe.
Confession #002
I know that you do loads of your own laundry when I'm not home. I know that you ignore the stack of the family laundry and wash your own personal load. I know this cause I find them in the dryer, and there is no coincidence large enough to convince me that this is "just what you happened to throw in". Especially as it has happened repeatedly for 15 years. This makes me unreasonably mad. That's why I leave all your clothes for the end, sometimes.
Confession #003
Your electronic organizer? The one you loved in 1998? Yeah. That didn't fall out of your car and get run over by your tire. I washed and dried it in the laundry , then tried to get you to think you'd done it by wedging it under your tire, in the rain.
Confession #004
I always spend more than I've told you I've spent. ALWAYS. No one gets this many shoes for what you think I've spent. That's the beauty of my own checking account.
Confession #005
I know where your belt, glasses or wallet are. I just think it's funny to watch you run around like a crazy person looking for them.
Confession #006
I WANT you to go out with your friends. Please. Get out of the house. Plus you always come home awfully grateful for what you have at home after listening to your friends bitch and moan about their wives.
Confession #007
When I say, "I don't care", sometimes I don't care. Sometime I do. Listen for the tone. It's been 15 years, it shouldn't be this hard to figure out.
Confession #008
When you go out of town, I play video games like a maniac. I also leave the bathroom door open when I pee, cause you aren't there to get all freaked out. And I don't do the dishes until right before you come home. Basically, chaos reigns.
Confession #009
I'm not really sleeping when I bump you at night. You're snoring Loudly and I have got to do something to stop the noise.
Confession #010
Your mother and I talk about you. When you are being a shit, I call her and she convinces me to stay married to you. You don't know how much you owe to your mother. Seriously.
| |
|
|
