Thread: After reading some of the posts, where do I sign up?

Commitment.

She considers commitment to be of the VERY GREATEST importance. It has to be TOTAL and for ALL TIME.

She is always willing and eager to commit and ‘intuitively’ ‘knows’ that it doesn’t come naturally but takes practice.

It has to be done over and over.

She thinks about it every day, practicing in her mind.

She ‘knows’ that she can do it after having committed the fifth or sixth time and she ‘checks’’ again and again.

Each new commitment needs the old one to be junked. Of course.

He has ‘difficulty’ committing. It doesn’t matter that everyone tells him that he is ‘commitment phobic’, he still delays and delays. He is obtuse.

To him it’s a one- off thing. He thinks about it only once, usually, but deeply, continually and for some time; usually too long, not understanding it’s importance to her that he does it right NOW.

To him he is committing himself to her. She says the same. Of course.

In addition to her he commits to the mortgage, car payments, the children and all their needs (and a huge amount of ‘stuff’ they don’t need) and schooling and health costs for at least 18 years. And her cosmetic supplies and hair-dos. And the ‘sales’ she needs to attend and the ‘lifestyle’ she can manage to lever up to.

She initiates 73% of divorces. She can do this easily as the only commitment she breaks is to him.

She is still committed to him paying the mortgage, school fees, health costs, hair-do, sales etc. Well”, she says, “I keep most of my commitments and so should he”.

When a relationship ends, a woman will cry, and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem entitled " All Men Are Just Like Pigs." Then she will ‘get on with her life’ - that he continues to pay for.

He won’t see the children unless he buys their time - from her.

A man has a little more trouble letting go.

FWIW, I had some of the same issues your ex-wife had, cutiger. They stopped when I stopped drinking diet pop--that aspartame will really mess with your mind, I'm not joking. Thankfully my marriage has remained intact, and we'll be celebrating 16 years in August. And I've been a lot better as a wife, just ask my husband.

I've been in the psych ward a few times myself. Not fun. But I feel fine now and I'm not on any medication, haven't been for several years.

I say this because I wonder if she'd been drinking that stuff. If so, thank our wonderful FDA for giving it the okay!

Quote from Alexandra

FWIW, I had some of the same issues your ex-wife had, cutiger. They stopped when I stopped drinking diet pop--that aspartame will really mess with your mind, I'm not joking. Thankfully my marriage has remained intact, and we'll be celebrating 16 years in August. And I've been a lot better as a wife, just ask my husband.

I've been in the psych ward a few times myself. Not fun. But I feel fine now and I'm not on any medication, haven't been for several years.

I say this because I wonder if she'd been drinking that stuff. If so, thank our wonderful FDA for giving it the okay!

She only drank "Regular Pepsi" so it's not the aspartame. She had a lot of psychological issues that made our marriage literally hell on earth.

One of her friends was a feminazi. That's a good way to help the situation! Suddenly everything became my fault. I got blamed for stuff that happened when I wasn't even in the same county as said event.

I can honestly say, now, I've learned that's no way to live. I'm just tired of the whole "marriage culture" in America.

The laws have swung on such a pendulum as to have marriage an unattractive proposition for men. Most in the "Deep South" where I live still hold to the traditional view that "marriage is just what responsible people do when they grow up!" Personally, unless I decide to have children (and I'm sure I don't want them for another 5 - 6 years) I can't see the purpose.

Since reentering the dating world, I've found for a lot of women being divorced is akin to admitting you have leprosy.

I'm glad to be a part of a group where we're at least discussing these issues and throwing the "BS" flag on some of them.

I was just wondering about aspartame because it makes me kinda batty. So I avoid it.

Myself, I bought into a few feminist lies but now I see through them. Patriarchy is not a bad word to me and I readily describe myself as a housewife. I was born in 1973 so as you can imagine, I got the brainwashing all through school.

Feminism has pretty well destroyed marriages and families. A man leaves his wife and children, he's scum. If a woman leaves her husband and children, she's independent and should be applauded.

Quote from cutiger1903

I consider myself lucky to get out of my marriage:

1. Alive

2. Without being financially ruined for life

3. Without children with her

I'm thinking I can probably have a quite fulfilled life without getting married again. Whenever someone brings up marriage, I have to ask, "Compared to the risks, what are the benefits?" Usually there's some mumbling about companionship and love.

Proof that if you want companionship, a dog's a better choice than a wife. Get one of both. Lock both in the trunk of a car on a hot summer's day and drive 20 miles over bumpy roads. Open the trunk and see which one's happy to see you.

I like you. You're able to find the silver lining in that dark cloud. That's a great skill/trait to have. It helps keep one sane in times of craziness. If that makes sense!

Welcome to the forum!

I spent a portion of our first year married overseas with work. During that time she was living with my parents.

Ouch! Oh, well. Better than the trunk of the car.

You will interesting to read, that's for sure.

Hi there cutiger1903,
Welcome along, mate.
From a lot of people I know, things with getting married only change after the marriage licence is signed.

The key is to get it ALL in writing BEFORE the Big Day, what you own and what she owns, 9/10th's of the time the woman will bring very little to the relationship, at the start, but will expect 50% of what you originally bought into the marriage, like a house or a car or the stuff from your hobby(s).

As I said, get it in writing, do an inventory of what you own, BEFORE the marriage question is asked.

If it is documented by either pics on a CD and a paper list, mailed to yourself, it is a legal document, because of the postage seal on the envelope, this is the same thing that inventors use with patents, you have a record of WHEN this happened.

Quote from MikeT

If it is documented by either pics on a CD and a paper list, mailed to yourself, it is a legal document, because of the postage seal on the envelope, this is the same thing that inventors use with patents, you have a record of WHEN this happened.

This is actually a good thing to have, and something I wished I'd known about before I said "I do."

Has anyone thought of putting together an "Advice" column / thread on here? Could be a good: Before you get married / Surprise you got served with divorce papers / Help me get custody of my kids resource for guys.

Quote from cutiger1903

This is actually a good thing to have, and something I wished I'd known about before I said "I do."

Yeah,
But in a fair world, you wouldn't have to go through all that parlavum,
the Divorce Courts tell a different story though.
And, how often does it occur that a woman has to prove that she owned this, that and the next thing was hers before marriage, so that her husband doesn't get his hands on it?.
The reason we never hear about this sort of thing, is because it never affects the "fairer" sex.

Has anyone thought of putting together an "Advice" column / thread on here? Could be a good: Before you get married / Surprise you got served with divorce papers / Help me get custody of my kids resource for guys.

I sort of started a thing down in the Mens Chat area about a pre-nuptial agreement but I haven't had a chance to develop it any further.
But by all means, cutiger, go ahead and throw something there or in the Raw Deals area, we are all here to work together.