Hi:

I really feel feminism and misandry hurt transwomen like me. I am for the men's rights movement because transwomen face the same horrible sexism many men face. In fact, the discrimination transwomen face is a form of anti-male sexism. Female-to-male transgendered are accepted a lot more than male-to-female transgendered. There is a clear message here: "its okay for girls to be masculine but not okay for boys to be feminine". Hence, this is anti-male sexism.

I am a 24-year-old transgendered woman who used to be man. I live in Southern California in USA. I am attracted to women only, not men. If you see and hear me in person, you'll think I'm a real woman -- until you see my naked groin. My groin is still male. I plan to remain pre-op as I feel genital removal of any kind is un-natural. I do have the voice and body [ignoring the groin] of the average lady.

Even though I'm a transgendered woman, I don't feel like a "real" women nor do I desire to be an *actual* female. I feel exactly like who I am, a person with female voice, a mostly-female body but with a male groin. I desire to stay this way.

I am light-skinned and white American. My hair is black and straight. My eyes are gray. I am 5'3.5" tall and weigh 127 lbs. My birthdate is April 17, 1984.

All my clothes are 100% cotton and white except for my shorts -- which are between blue & gray in color and made of 100% polyester. I wear collar-less T-shirts, white sneakers and cottons socks. My shorts are my underwear.

I'm one of the few who can remember details of an incident that other victims wouldn't. I also tend to have a short attention span and impaired short-term memory. However, long-term memories of emotional events tends to be amplified.

In addition, I have significant impairment in social interactions. I perceive the world differently and this can often bring me in conflict with conventional ways of thinking. I have difficulty in reading body language, and interpreting subtle cues. I also have significant difficulty with natural conversation, reading social cues, and maintaining eye contact. This can lead to a great deal of misunderstanding about my intent or my behavior. For example, I may not always know what to say in social situations, so I may look away or may not say anything. I also may not always respond quickly when asked direct questions, but if given time I am able express my ideas.

All that aside, I feel I am sexually-attracted to lesbians with similar physical characteristics as me [e.g. eye/hair/skin-color, hair shape, age, height, and weight] , yet I have bitter feelings toward lesbians because they reject my type. They reject me because I am not totally-female. That hurts my feelings.

About a year ago, I had what I call my worst of worst nightmares. I joined a lesbian sisterhood club in downtown LA [all were femme lesbians and most fit the physical characteristics I desire]. I told them my birth gender. Initially they accepted me. They were just as friendly to me as they were to each other.

Once I got into a room with them and we all undressed for an orgy. Nice time. I was so horny and happy. I felt like I was in heaven. But this paradise wasn't for long. Three days later, my nightmare began. I was tricked. I felt I was in hell.

All of the women attacked me and ganged of on me. They made me smell their bare stinky feet and then brutally kicked my naked balls, thereby bruising them. They began to cry "rape". Things turned further worse then.

The lesbians got a gang of pro-feminist misandrist guys to beat and sodomize me. They complained to the guys, falsely accusing me of rape and sexual harassment. They guys, being the chivalrous misandrist pro-feminist men they are, showed me no mercy. They all called me "pervert", "sissy", and "fa-got". They would tell me "you're gonna get whats coming" and "she-males like you give men a bad name". It seemed they were going to anally-rape me because the lesbians accused me of rape even though I didn't at all penetrate them. My fear became reality. I am also no stronger than your average woman.

All the men were white, black-haired, and straight-haired, with square faces, chins and heads. Can't remember their eye colors, though. However, they appeared to be around my age and that of the lesbians.

Those male feminazis along with the lesbians put me through a month of hell.

The woman would make me smell their stinky feet and then kick my naked groin.

The men hurt me much more. These men looked like tough ex-cons who are simply determined to cause trouble when they think there will be no negative consequences. The men would invade my privacy by smelling me and calling me a "stinky tranny" and "stinky slut". They stretched my arms and legs to the point where my injuries left me in great pain and unable to move or walk. They punched my stomach until I threw up and forced me to rub my vomit all over myself. They would sodomize me. They would spit on me and smell the part they spit on while rubbing their noses on it. The force me to rub their spit on my hands and the rest of my body. They would also force me to spit on my hands and rub my spit all over myself. In addition, they forced me to rub my feces all over myself. They would then smell me and make fun of my body odor. Also, they would make me expose my groin and they would pelt it with a leather whip -- badly bruising it. They did not allow me to maintain any proper hygiene aside from brushing my teeth. They just wanted to humiliate, degrade, and dehumanize me.

The men and lesbians would also refer to me as "sh*t", as in part "she" and part "it".

I only had 3 choices:

1. Submit to the horrifying abuse perpetrated by the chivalrous men and lesbians.

If I refused the above then, the other options were:

2. Let them castrate me -- which I don't at all want. I like to keep my genitalia the way it is.

3. Die [by being stabbed in the rectum by the men] -- they would always threaten to kill me like that with the sharp weapons they had.

I was so scared and angry. I'm still very upset.

This experience has caused me to hate feminism, chivalry, and misandry. It has also caused me to want to retaliate against lesbians for so cruelly-rejecting me and getting those big guys to harass, rape, and beat me.

Currently, I feel a bit lucky and relieved that I'm no longer going through such mistreatment -- and that I've tested negative for HIV and other STDs after the anal rape! But I'm still angry. I'm not sure whether I should say this but, even though I am am not a man, I still feel like I have the personality of an anger-retaliation rapist. I have thoughts about sexually-harassing and raping lesbians in order to get even with them.

These thoughts of anger-retaliation rape are not only related to my desire to punish the lesbians who cruelly-rejected me but also to get back at those chivalrous misandrist guys who abused me. I get the feeling that these guys are very much against the rape of real woman but have no problem forcing their penises down the anuses of transgender women like me. Also, these thoughts are related my desire to make the false accusation true -- I've been punished so much, it should be for something.

There are still bruises on my scrotum from the kicks and whips. To make matters worse, I still need to wear a colostomy bag because the anal-rape ruptured my anus and rectum. My butt constantly leaks thick unusually-malodorous diarrhea. As I said above, its a miracle that all those ejaculations from all those men [too many guys to count] hasn't caused me any VDs.

This desire for revenge has plagued me ever since my experience.

One of the reasons I still harbor this bitterness is because I tried reporting the incident to police and suing them. Nothing happened. It seemed the police, the courts, and the people in general supported what I happened to me because I am a transgendered woman falsely-accused of raping real woman. If I was a real woman, society would be far more sympathetic towards me. I've used up all my legal abilities to sue anyone. In court, the jury laughed because they found out I am transgendered. It's not always possible to keep my transexuality a secret. Authorities, who are supposed protect the innocent find out the secret and then out it. In public female-only facilities, evil women find out hidden truths and tell everyone.

As a result, I have a hard time getting along with men as well as women. I also despise tomboys and FTM [female-to-male] transgendered men because they get better social treatment than MTF [male-to-female] transgendered women and effeminate males.

I hate the prison staff and the majority of the general population of inmates. I haven't been to prison but I know MTFs are constantly victimized by staff and inmates alike. The jail staff purposely allow the GP inmates to attack MTFs.

The majority of GP inmates of mens' prisons would never rape a real woman even if she was housed with the [they hate rapists of real females]. However, they gain pleasure from raping MTFs. Hence I hate the GP.

I hate feminism because it treats FTMs and *real* women better than MTFs. I hate the humans' society because it does the same.

I wish the humans' society would not treat FTMs and women who were born *totally* female any better** than it treats MTFs. Unfortunately my wish is way too good to ever be true.

I am victimized by the humans' society via it's irrational gender stereotypes that unfairly treat FTMs and *actual* women better** than MTFs.

**Better-treatment = more compassion, more sympathy, more respect, more gentleness, more easiness, more empathy, more cleanliness, more protection, more luxury, more personal space, more privacy, more security, more freedom, etc.

It's this unfairness that makes me want to take revenge against the humans' society and its irrational gender stereotypes.

I've never blamed myself for the abuse. OTOH, I blame the humans' society.

I have nothing against individual humans. It's the society of humans that I'm strongly against. I'm against it because of its irrational gender stereotypes.

I also really care about non-human animals -- dogs, cats, birds, etc. This is why I don't use any products derived from practices that harm them. For example, no meat, no leather, and no ivory.

I respect non-animals -- as individuals and via their societies. I respect non-human societies because they don't make irrational gender stereotypes.

I also care about sex perverts -- because the humans' society sees them as "animals" or "sub-human". Not trying to scare/offend anyone, just expressing the opinions that I have as a result of my experience.

I am extremely jealous of FTMs and lesbians because of my experience. I am envious of lesbians because they get each other but exclude me. I don't like FTMs because the humans' society irrationally treats them better than MTFs.

I don't like the fact that the humans' society treats FTMs better than MTFs.

I hate it when masculine women are so popular while feminine men are treating like scum.

My experiences cause me to support reverse discrimination.

The humans who abused me did so because they were following the rules of the humans' society. They were following and enforcing the evil perpetrating by this society. That's why I hate the humans' society.

I feel like molesting the lesbians who kicked me and got pro-feminist men to rape and beat me -- to get even with them. I feel like tying those pro-feminist men up and forcing them to watch as I molest those lesbians.

Hopefully if I do molest those women, I will be entitled to protective custody in prison. Transsexuals and sex-offenders are separated from other inmates because for their own safety. I am already transgendered. If I molest the lesbians who hurt me, then I'll fit the sex-offender category. Since TGs and sex-offenders are separated, I wouldn't have to worry about being abused by bubba. OTOH, prison staff are so corrupt that they'll probably allow prisoners to rape and kill me.

I'm already being condemned so much, it should be for something. Right?

If those lesbians didn't want me because I used to be male, then they should've just politely told me "no thanks". Instead they got their message out using the human-society's brutal gender stereotypes against me. If I do molest them, they deserve it.

The humans' society has placed me in this trap of anger and fear. Anger towards society makes me want to take revenge. Fear of society's consequences -- such as prison rape and other jail abuses -- stop me. If my anger overrides my fear, then I will likely attempt to retaliate against society by molesting and disabling feminist bitches, evil lesbians, FTMs, and other evil members of the humans' society.

Currently fear is controlling me right now, so I'm not retaliating. However, I encourage other MTFs who've been victimized by the humans' society -- and feel they've got nothing to lose -- to form gangs that molest and disable actual females and FTMs. These gangs should pretend to be lesbian and lure and trap actually-female lesbians. The MTF should permanently and severely disable the butch lesbians and then sexually-molest the the femme lesbians.

If you're an MTF whose been to prison, chances are you've been to a male prison and gotten raped by pro-feminist men. You probably have HIV, so spread it to actual females and FTMs.

If you're and MTF, the humans' society probably treats you like an animal. So you might as well act like a sexual animal and molest and disable as many actual females and FTMs as possible.

MTFs are not accepted into female-only facilities because the humans' society being the POS it is, claims that they'll molest the *actual* females. Well, if the humans' society is going to treat us MTFs like sexual predators, maybe we should show them what sexual abuse really is.

Philosophically, I can't justify vengeance but at an emotional level, I just feel like punishing society for what they do to helpless transgender women like me. I realize, there are MTFs who've been through far worse than me, it's them who I feel a special amount of sympathy for.

I just wish someone would lend a helping hand.


Thanks,

Transgender Lesbian

I wonder really if this forum is the right one for your problems...
but I do not know...what else can I write...

You decided to be a woman, out of what reason? But you decided to do so, and you have now to carry the consequences...maybe you expected something else, something better for you... your life-style is pretty wild...

I ask myself, if this posting is for real or a fake-story...troll-posting?

Nice try but you over did in far too many areas.

Some of it could become useful.

I know there are hetrosexuals who use any excuse to to fight and sometimes pick on homos.
I just can't understand anyone calling someone a fagot and then ass-raping them. That makes no sense though convicts do behave in such a manner.

The sad part is that you don't seem to comprehend how you are attracted to the most evil group of women there is -- lesbeins. Many young guys are facinated with lesbeins and encourage girls to be bi. It's foolishness. Sexual desires often cloud our judgement.

If you are for real then you must accept that things won't change. You will always be looked down on by some and lesbiens will never accept you. Attacking lesbeins will bring you more punishment and prisonlife would be extremely difficult. Hate will eat at you and it's bad for your immune system.. Best to learn from this and move on.

.

Have you ever heard a male who is raped explain it this way?

The lesbians got a gang of pro-feminist misandrist guys to beat and sodomize me. They complained to the guys, falsely accusing me of rape and sexual harassment. They guys, being the chivalrous misandrist pro-feminist men they are, showed me no mercy.

But then you are probably having fun.

TL, in the absence of information to the contrary, I have to start with an assumption that what you say you have experienced and the particulars of your condition may be true. Or it may not. If true, you have a terrible situation; if untrue, you mock in a terrible way.

Both are unfortunate for you and I sympathise in either case. Fortunately I do not have to do anything about it.

Had I a responsibility to do something, I might well take the time and put in the effort to seek more information and to understand your position better. Then I might determine a course of action and put it to you to chose it, or not.

As it is, this is not the place for that.

So while I have sympathy available, the best I can say is that you need help, and the help you need cannot be found here.

There are places, groups and specialists who are positioned to assist on a much closer basis. I would strongly advise you to seek them locally in 'real' space rather than cyberspace.

Here, even with the best will and attentive ears to share experiences with, we could inadvertently do you far more harm than what little good sympathy and anti-misandry community can do.

Trans-Gen-Weird

In line with the following story, I watched a fascinating episode of 'South Park' last night, where the 4th grade teacher Mr. Garrison decides to have a 'sex change' operation and then tragically looses the affection of his sado-masochistic homo-anal bondage slave - "Mr. Slave".

Continuing their tradition of ripping off anyone and anything available, the 'Creators' of South Park staged their own 'Girls Gone Wild' commercial, complete with Girls lifting their shirts and having their breasts 'pixilated' so viewers cant see the real thing. However, when "Mrs. Garrison" came over and lifted "Her" shirt, they did show two mutilated and deformed male post surgical pectorals - "uncensored'.

The entire episode was a spoof on the notion that surgery can change people - as opposed to simply alter their surface appearance - but it got its greatest charge from "Mrs. Garrison"... Who, while whooping it up with the 'Girls' at a bar questioned why "She" hadn't gotten her menstrual period (kind of like the famous 'Menstrual Boy' - Eddie Araujo) - and then decided that "She" must be Pregnant.

At this time, "Mrs. Garrison" finally felt she knew the full joy of being a true womyn, and immediately went off to celebrate by getting an abortion. Of course the reality of "her" need for an abortion was later dealt with, but not in a manner that the California Supreme Turkey Baster Court would approve of.

In the peoples republic the doctors would have probably been required by law to take out something (maybe a spleen or such like) and call it a fetus, if only to validate the "Perceptions" of self mutilating mentally ill male perverts, and force us all to join the sick sham of course.

Oh - and the final joke on us all - Now that "Mrs. Garrison" is a Legal Womyn, "She" now claims that "Her" attraction to Men is not Homosexual but Normal Heterosexual Desire...

Ohso
Not merely the validity of experience but the very existence of external reality was tacitly denied by their philosophy. The heresy of heresies was common sense. George Orwell - 1984 On the Thought Police.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

IVA: As an illustration of how twisted things get when homosexual behavior is normalized, consider Massachusetts. There, an inmate convicted of murdering his wife is pressing the state to force taxpayers to pay for a sex change operation.

The inmate, who was born a male and therefore is a male and should be considered a male for all legal purposes, has already caused the state to spend hundreds of hours and $52,000 for expert testimony in his pursuit of an operation that will cost about $20,000. Prison officials naturally would have no idea what to do with a transsexual prisoner, who would create a security nightmare as he would instantly become a target for sexual assault no matter where he was put.

He has already received hormone treatments, laser hair removal and psychotherapy at taxpayer expense, and two other inmates are lined up to demand sex-change surgery if this man's suit is successful. An effort to make taxpayer funding of sex-change operations illegal failed this year in the Massachusetts legislature.

(Washington Blade Online: Mass. inmate asks for sex change)

It's because things will never change that make me upset. I wish for a gang to MTF women to punish society be pretending to be lesbian and covertly luring actually-female lesbians into a trap and then sexually-molesting them. I wish for these MTFs to permanently and severely disable butch lesbians while sexually-abusing the femme lesbians.

Society treats our kind like sex-offenders, we might as well act like sex-offenders.

Besides, raping real women might cause society to cease spewing the myth that MTFs are sexually-attracted to men.

I never likes lesbians to being with, I was only sexually-attracted to females. So I though this might be the time to lose my virginity with women. Instead, I lost it to evil misandrist pro-feminist men.

I told them that I have male parts right in the beginning, in hopes that it would prevent the violence caused by the shock of finding out the real genitalia.

I encourage victims of society to fight back against society. If adult human beings -- especially the ones who are supposed to uphold the law -- are going to act like middle-school bullies, then they deserve to have their penises welded to lesbian bitches' vulvas.

The inmate should be placed in female prison regardless.

I'd much rather an MTF women rape a real woman, than a man rape an MTF woman. This is because I believe in reverse discrimination.