Hi. I am 45, male, with a son who is 3 and my wife is 43. My wife is a stay-at-home-mom currently. I grew up in a very happy home which was rather traditional. Dad worked longer hours than mom. Mom stayed home with me till I was in kindergarten. Up until then she did some occasional part-time night work while dad stayed home with me. They never argued (my mother had severe depression from which she is now recovered and happy), were active in their church and community, and have been happily married for 46 years. My goal here is to relate my own sour experiences with feminism and misandry and to get information and books to better educate myself about the complete story and to network online with other men, and women to gain perspective.

Welcome to Anti Misandry.

Great to meet you, Brockus. Grab a seat and coffee will be here shortly...

Thanks in advance for anyone's perspective offered and I hope to contribute in some way in an gender-unbiased way. Glad to be here.

First let me note that I have met several college educated women who are uncomfortable with the mainstream feminist agenda. They feel they have been given equal opportunities in their education and in their professions. Some are married, some are not, some have children, some do not. None can relate to anyone being a "man-hater". All take responsibility for their choices. Some are republican, some democrat, some liberal, some conservative. Just because a woman may be against a war, or a vegetarian, or against racial discrimination, pro-choice, etc. does not proceed them into line with most who would call themselves feminists.

My first wife of 11 years (deceased) was a firm believer in equal opportunity for both women and men, she was liberal, but denounced feminism. She did not feel like a victim of men.

My current wife of 3 years is a feminist with which one cannot debate an issue as two educated adults because of her feeling like she and all women are victimized by this "male-dominated-society". This has caused considerable problems in our marriage. Much to my confusion, at the time I met her, I assumed that because she was bright, college educated, and successful that she could see beyond the agenda of the feminists she admired and with a level head discriminated between truth and nonsense.

I am here today to begin my own transformation, not to gain any status above any woman, but to help men recover gound and identity lost because of the misguided principles of feminism and its dangerous agenda.

Let me 'whine' just a little, not to indulge myself but to see parallels between the whines of feminists and my own experiences as a male in which I was judged unfairly in ways they would note.

It wasn't until about my junior year in college that I myself could feel the pressure of being male. I've always tried to judge people for their accomplishments and character, instead of their gender, race, weight, disabilities, religion, or sexual orientation. I demand the same. I'm not your typical male (and I hate that word typical, but I can find no other word for this context) - I don't hunt or fish (but love baseball), rarely watch sports in a recliner, have usually longer hair than average, love arts and crafts, but yes I'd love to tinker with a 1967 Jaguar XKE! I've done my share of car repairs too.

Back to my story - I dated a feminist in 1984 for about 3 months. She was 23 and I was 21. I was rather heart-broken when she basically dumped me after her mother drilled me about my career plans and deemed me to not be the "best catch" - I wanted to be a teacher. So this feminist of 23 dumped me because my goal was to become a teacher! How sexist can you get? Though she was a feminist, she judged me on my earning potential - how hypocritical. This happens very, very often in society - the feminist wants to marry a banker so she can go on the feminist lecture circuit, or some similar marriage/career constellation.

An almost identical thing happened to me months later by way of a young lady who was not a feminist but her father judged me on my career choice and effectively ended the relationship. She is married today to a well-paid engineer and hates the man, but he's a jerk... she's not a man hater. We have remained good friends.

So you see while college women are complaining about "glass-ceilings", college men are being judged by their earning potential, not their character nor their potential to be a good maybe "soulmate" to some young woman willing to see past the surface. Sound familiar? Just as feminists gripe about unfair judgement of themselves for superficial things, men are also judged in a not unlike way.

So to tell the truth I was so distrustful of women by my late college years that I seldom went on a date, though I had several women hint at interest. I was considered "good-looking" (never really liked the word) but I wanted someone to see me for me and isn't that a legitimate request for anyone regardless of gender or race, etc.?

I was not a "woman-hater" by any means. I had a wonderful mother and a really good high-school sweetheart.

I didn't become a teacher. Interestingly it may have been because i wanted just to teach and appeared not very enthusiastic about serving as this-or-that assistant coach responsibilites for the schools' mens sports teams. It may have been fun, but I felt like I was to be hired to teach not to caoch a team. Anyway I went into manufacturing and before long was approached by an executive within the company who said "How would you like to go into sales, you're a good-looking young young man, could probably charm your way into some big accounts." There again judged by my outer veneer rather than any knowledge I had gained in college. Sound familiar feminists?

My point is that men are placed into these pigeon holes of careers and we want choices too. I would have loved for there to be more women running banks so their would be more opportunities for some males who want "interesting" jobs. We are judged by our earning potential because many women know that they will be planning to take that sobatical to have and raise children, take 10 years off work and want the man to work the long hours, take a travel job, kiss butt, etc. Then after those 10 years she becomes a radical feminist, impossible to live with, and whining about why the workplace "discriminates' against her for being away from the workplace and its immerging technologies for 10 years.

I went on to become a software engineer (go figure, BA in History), a man always striving to be great in bed, in short - perfect. And I'm tired of it. I want to be judged for my character, blind to my gender but getting repect for my gender's uniqueness and needs.

Some days I think how good it would be to..... (to be continued).

Oh and by the way, don't whine about me washing the dishes last night because my hands were too dirty from changing the oil in the car!

Brockus Wade

Greetings !!!

Welcome aboard and enjoy yourself we have a fine group of people here.

Welcome to the forum.

.

Hey Billy... love your quote "Feminuts are stupid, throw some common sense at them. They won't know what hit them".

I have NEVER been able to get into an intelligent debate as two adults betwen myself and a feminist. They go all to pieces when they are presented with facts ("Facts are stubborn things." - John Adams). I want to give them a Valium!

I got into a debate with recently with one of them who was puzzled about where the roles of men and women came from. She said that we all begin as a ball of cells and somewhere along the way males and females become different. I told her that I saw her frustration but that I could not appreciate its significance. She periled at why women have to be the primary caregivers of the infants. Knowing I would get nowhere with her in this mindless discourse I replied that it is a simple fact of nature that women have a uterus and breasts (mammary = mammal) and that in most mammals the young are tended by the females - and if she were not satisfied with this she should take up the issue with God.....

...or a mother polar bear with cubs who would not give crap if the human suddenly in her presence were male or female only that they should be dead!

Welcome welcome!! Brockus you bring inspiring news that more women see through their BS.
I do remember the dear women friends in my 20s who saw through it as well. They saw what misery merchants they were others I saw take up feminism with enthusiasm. I remember the confusion of some women who saw the humanity and basic friendliness of most men contrasting with the demonising image feminism was preaching. The feminists we noticed strangely most were lesbians. Well well now why was that?

I watched feminisms persistence pay off eventually "tell a lie tell it often enough and it will be believed"
-Hitler
By the time I was in work most women and many men too , were brain washed into it "well their must be something in it if there is all this fuss"
The media purveyed it drip drip... a broken down record.
And here we are in the sad sorry state of today...

It has been my experience that when you do begin to get through to them with common sense, they resort to name-calling, shaming language, hate speeches and the like. It seems they are not interested in facts, only ideology.

This happens very, very often in society - the feminist wants to marry a banker so she can go on the feminist lecture circuit, or some similar marriage/career constellation.


How true !!