Men are portrayed as complete spanners -- but we won't complain

**frostyboy** · 2nd-October-2009

Written by Ian O'Doherty for The Independent:

Men are portrayed as complete spanners -- but we won't complain

How good are you in the kitchen? Can you cook? Have you
developed a decent palate? Do you find standing at the cooker
with three rings burning to be a nice, relaxing way to unwind
after a hard day's work?

Or are you a bloke?

That can be the only conclusion from the press release issued
on behalf of a Wicklow cookery school, which offers courses in
Vietnamese, Italian, Provencal cuisine and, somewhat bizarrely,
"cooking for men".

What is that exactly? Is it designed to teach men how to go into the kitchen and turn on the kettle without burning the house down? Is it just a day-long barbeque session where blokes are taught how to sit around, drink beer and do some spare ribs on the barbie without giving the whole family salmonella?

It really is a remarkably odd course to offer. And, inevitably, there is no equivalent course of "cooking for women". In fairness to the cookery school, they're hardly alone in singling men out, and they are by the far the most benign party when it comes to this.

But the portrayal of men in the media, particularly the commercial media, would have a visiting alien scratching its head in amazement that the human race has managed to last as long as it has because men folk are at best completely clueless idiots who can't change a tire without blowing up the car, or else they're violent idiots who shouldn't be allowed out on their own.

A lot of it is pretty harmless, of course, even if it is deeply grating.

As a columnist who likes to poke fun at people who get their knickers in a twist over the silliest things, there's no point in affecting pretend outrage at something as harmless as a TV commercial, but I know I'm not the only bloke who used to turn puce with rage at one telly ad for a Mexican food product.

In the ad, the bloke makes some fajitas and his obnoxious, rat faced girlfriend proceeds to ring all her mates -- in front of him -- to talk about her amazement that he was able to do it properly. Every time I watch it, I'm filled with the absurd hope that the bloke will have a Jimmy Cagney moment and shove the fajita into her big, smirking gob.

And, as I've often said before, we can deal with the big things, but it's the little things in life that make you want to go on a killing spree and that smug wench was certainly one of them.

What's interesting is that you can say what you want about men these days and nobody bats an eyelid. In fact, if you do say anything you're immediately branded some sort of nutter who sees feminist conspiracies everywhere they look.

That's not the case, of course, but it's unlikely you could spend more than an hour listening to Irish radio without listening to men being portrayed as complete spanners -- they can't book a hotel, they need a woman to read the map, they never ask for directions, yadda yadda yadda -- in a way that would have the sisterhood going completely mental if it was directed at them.

Swedish MEP Eva Britt Svennson has called for a European-wide ban on gender stereotyping in advertising because: "Gender stereotyping in advertising straitjackets women, men, girls and boys by restricting individuals to predetermined roles that are often degrading, humiliating and dumbed down" -- but we all know what gender she was particularly concerned about.

If a woman says she is offended by a particular commercial, the advertisers and regulators will immediately take the complaint seriously; if some gay lads complain against a commercial, as is their wont, the chances are the commercial will be immediately pulled off the air and heartfelt apologies and promises never to reoffend will be immediately dispatched.

If, on the other hand, a straight male is offended by the fact that blokes are portrayed in a negative light, he will be dismissed as some sort of crank who probably read Iron John by Robert Bly and thinks that men are under attack, when all he actually wants is to stop being portrayed as a complete jackass.

We don't complain because we have been socialised not to. In much the same way that women, gay groups and other minorities have been socialised into believing that they have automatic victim status, straight men, particularly straight white men have been bullied and brow beaten into thinking that they have no rights because they are, we're informed, part of the patriarchal elite and they should spend their time feeling guilty rather than complaining.

Let's put it this way -- can you imagine if someone had decided to answer Michael Moore's utterly crappy book, Stupid White Men with a rival tome called Stupid Black Women?

There would be total uproar, and rightly so.

Yet when Moore released that book, the reviews were overwhelmingly positive, and nobody picked up on the title which, had it been directed towards any other societal groups would have been considered an incitement to hatred.

Perhaps the most obnoxious and genuinely despicable Irish example of this is the campaign, a while back, against domestic violence.

Tens of thousands of tax payers' euros were spent on a billboard and broadcast campaign informing us that: "Hitting a woman is a crime." Really? Wow, how had nobody told us men about this before? And there we were, beating our female loved ones all the while without realising we were doing anything wrong.

Look -- hitting anyone is a crime, but the not-so-subtle message was that men are violent pigs who need to be harnessed and controlled.

And women are vulnerable little lassies who can't park properly. And gay men are all flouncing fairies who look like Julian Clary. And black men all love fried chicken and melons.

The list goes on, but if you want to offend someone with impunity, make sure it's a straight white man, because nobody cares about that.

**Meadester** · 2nd-October-2009

I have said on Glenn Sacks' blog that ads poking good-natured fun at men would be OK, if they were balanced. All people should have a sense of humor about themselves lest we become like those sourpuss feminists or other professional victim groups. Of course, balance is the key and obviously that's lacking.

Of course the idea that men need a "special" cooking class is just ridiculous. Would it be possible for you to contact the school, Frostyboy, and see what their excuse is?

**Celtic Druid** · 2nd-October-2009

Quote from Meadester

I have said on Glenn Sacks' blog that ads poking good-natured fun at men would be OK, if they were balanced. All people should have a sense of humor about themselves lest we become like those sourpuss feminists or other professional victim groups. Of course, balance is the key and obviously that's lacking.

Quite so.

Either let's have a balance, or better still, do away with these divisive adverts - which are just corrosive to gender harmony in my opinion.

I'm sure these well paid advertising agencies can be a bit more creative then just predictably resorting to the imbecilic and inept male template - as a lazy piss poor substitute for originality.

Furthermore, MRAs always point out the Homer Simpson-esque depictions of men in ads, but more importantly, many fail to point out the amount of violence in ads by women against men.

An advert I saw today (here in UK) was for Guitar Hero, X-Box and Doritos. In the advert for some undeterminable reason (you guessed it) a woman slaps a man. This is all too common.

Think about it, companies are depicting acts of violence against men to sell friggin products!! Misandry is actually profitable and registering on the stock market. This is how acceptable violence against men has become. For me this is the greater issue regarding anti-male adverts.

**Percy** · 3rd-October-2009

If women were treated the way men are treated, the suicide rate would be equal.

**julie** · 3rd-October-2009

Quote from Percy

If women were treated the way men are treated, the suicide rate would be equal.

That's sad.

Hey, I like this journalist.

**dad_savage** · 3rd-October-2009

If women were treated the way men are treated, the suicide rate would be equal.

I don't know. I think women would commit suicide even more, perhaps. Women are so coddled that their level of emotional sensitivity is simply beyond a joke. I can give you a good example of this. Let us consider rape. Rape is an unpleasant thing, I'm not saying that it isn't. Look at the difference however in the manner in which it, and societies attitude toward it, function. About as many men are raped, yearly, in the US as women. Most men are raped in prison. The cultural attitude to the rape of men is quite simple; it is very morally backwards, and part of this may be attributed to the fact that, occurring in prison, it is generated by a 'criminal culture' but it filters into popular culture as well.

When a man is raped, two things occur. The first is he is branded a homosexual, the second is he looses the right to control his own sexuality; it becomes public property. This occurs under the 'logical' principle that because he did not die fighting, he 'allowed' himself to be raped and therefore enjoys being raped and is homosexual. Very simple. Very brutal.

Now let us imagine for a brief moment that women were treated in this fashion.

I have, myself, been told by a woman (she might have been lying for attention, who knows?) of 19 that someone once 'attempted' to rape her. Apparently this man put a knife to her throat and fondled her sexually; an unpleasant experience I have no doubt, though she claims this was psychologically devastating, that she could barely function for many hours after the event, etc. To be brutally honest, I find this level of hysteria to be quite risible. I have myself been violently attacked in worse ways, and I did not collapse into a blubbering wreck.

Contrast with the above information regarding men.

Women, by and large (this woman claims to support MRAs, btw) even those who are more politically 'aware' have not the faintest premonition of just how gently society coddles them. It’s a fact which conflicts me in that I don’t know whether to laugh about it, cry about it, or scream about it. Should we be offended by this clueless vapidity?

**Popadibs** · 3rd-October-2009

Quote from dad_savage

I don't know. I think women would commit suicide even more, perhaps. Women are so coddled that their level of emotional sensitivity is simply beyond a joke. I can give you a good example of this. Let us consider rape. Rape is an unpleasant thing, I'm not saying that it isn't. Look at the difference however in the manner in which it, and societies attitude toward it, function. About as many men are raped, yearly, in the US as women. Most men are raped in prison. The cultural attitude to the rape of men is quite simple; it is very morally backwards, and part of this may be attributed to the fact that, occurring in prison, it is generated by a 'criminal culture' but it filters into popular culture as well.

When a man is raped, two things occur. The first is he is branded a homosexual, the second is he looses the right to control his own sexuality; it becomes public property. This occurs under the 'logical' principle that because he did not die fighting, he 'allowed' himself to be raped and therefore enjoys being raped and is homosexual. Very simple. Very brutal.

Now let us imagine for a brief moment that women were treated in this fashion.

I have, myself, been told by a woman (she might have been lying for attention, who knows?) of 19 that someone once 'attempted' to rape her. Apparently this man put a knife to her throat and fondled her sexually; an unpleasant experience I have no doubt, though she claims this was psychologically devastating, that she could barely function for many hours after the event, etc. To be brutally honest, I find this level of hysteria to be quite risible. I have myself been violently attacked in worse ways, and I did not collapse into a blubbering wreck.

Contrast with the above information regarding men.

Women, by and large (this woman claims to support MRAs, btw) even those who are more politically 'aware' have not the faintest premonition of just how gently society coddles them. It’s a fact which conflicts me in that I don’t know whether to laugh about it, cry about it, or scream about it. Should we be offended by this clueless vapidity?

While you mention that the rape of males and the rape of females is looked at differently it is quite noticable that you took this opportunity to take a stab at (no pun intended) the 19 year old woman that felt comfortable enough with you to tell you what happened to her.

There is no need to make conversations that you have in confidentiality public just to get back at the person that told you. That's shameful behavior.

**Shagda** · 3rd-October-2009

Quote from dad_savage

I don't know. I think women would commit suicide even more, perhaps. Women are so coddled that their level of emotional sensitivity is simply beyond a joke. I can give you a good example of this. Let us consider rape. Rape is an unpleasant thing, I'm not saying that it isn't. Look at the difference however in the manner in which it, and societies attitude toward it, function. About as many men are raped, yearly, in the US as women. Most men are raped in prison. The cultural attitude to the rape of men is quite simple; it is very morally backyards, and part of this may be attributed to the fact that, occurring in prison, it is generated by a 'criminal culture' but it filters into popular culture as well.

When a man is raped, two things occur. The first is he is branded a homosexual, the second is he looses the right to control his own sexuality; it becomes public property. This occurs under the 'logical' principle that because he did not die fighting, he 'allowed' himself to be raped and therefore enjoys being raped and is homosexual. Very simple. Very brutal.

Now let us imagine for a brief moment that women were treated in this fashion.

I have, myself, been told by a woman (she might have been lying for attention, who knows?) of 19 that someone once 'attempted' to rape her. Apparently this man put a knife to her throat and fondled her sexually; an unpleasant experience I have no doubt, though she claims this was psychologically devastating, that she could barely function for many hours after the event, etc. To be brutally honest, I find this level of hysteria to be quite risible. I have myself been violently attacked in worse ways, and I did not collapse into a blubbering wreck.

Contrast with the above information regarding men.

Women, by and large (this woman claims to support MRAs, btw) even those who are more politically 'aware' have not the faintest premonition of just how gently society coddles them. It’s a fact which conflicts me in that I don’t know whether to laugh about it, cry about it, or scream about it. Should we be offended by this clueless vapidity?

Exactly, they are babied threw life in every aspect of it.

I think you also made another point worth elaborating on some, and that is that most men have been attacked or assaulted in some way shape or form..Example: I have been jumped by multiple guys (not raped of coarse) and literally beat, even though I will make note of the fact I did at least go down fighting, but still...Not to mention all the "one on one's" Ive had over the years, that sprang about usually because of a WOMAN (imagine that)

.It is fairly common for these things to happen (not so much the mob style assault, but one on one fights)and a lot of which never get called in, never even get mentioned to the police, even the victims thyself wont go to the police, for fear of ending up in another fist fight and having to be harassed by the police, which more than likely will end up in you ALSO being arrested and put in jail..

However on the "flip side", this does not happen to women, or it is a rarity for it to happen.Even more when a woman does have some kind of similar "part of life" happen to her, such as the whole domestic violence deal, the whole world bends over and kisses there ass with sympathy, not to mention help from the GOVERNMENT, counsiling...etc!

Thats just one "cozy" little aspect of being a woman, you dont have to worry about who you piss-off because no one will knock you the fu*k out for mouthing off, or crossing the line, but in a mans life this is all to much a reality, not to mention ending up in a confrontation, because of some LIE a vindictive woman decides to tell to another man, or just any random occurrence of fighting for that matter.

**6ame** · 3rd-October-2009

Oh God, I just seen the latest advert for Professor Layton And The Curious Box, a great game by the way. A man is playing the game on a train, he's trying to work out one of the puzzles, it shows the train travelling along the tracks and it turns into night time, he's still on the puzzle, so he leans over and hands the DS to his girlfriend, and she of course solves the puzzle in a heartbeat.
Imagine girls were lagging behind boys in school, and this was how females were constantly portrayed, there would be uproar.
I'm glad I illegally downloaded the game a few weeks before it came out, now I won't be buying it.

**dad_savage** · 3rd-October-2009

While you mention that the rape of males and the rape of females is looked at differently it is quite noticable that you took this opportunity to take a stab at (no pun intended) the 19 year old woman that felt comfortable enough with you to tell you what happened to her.

I'm not taking a 'stab' at anyone. The mention of simple facts is in no way meant to impugne her character, there's nothing wrong with her that isn't also wrong with all women, a trait which exists due to social conditioning and through no fault of her own, if you can't grasp this, and appreciate that I mean no slight, I'm not sure what to say.

As for the rest of what you say, I made no effort to betray confidence, I mentioned no names. If you have a suspicion at to who this person might be (something I will neither confirm nor deny) I suggest you keep it to yourself; you have no realistic way of divining who I am talking about, and your assumptions may lead to mistaken conclusions which may offend some third party.

**Popadibs** · 4th-October-2009

Quote from dad_savage

I'm not taking a 'stab' at anyone. The mention of simple facts is in no way meant to impugne her character, there's nothing wrong with her that isn't also wrong with all women, a trait which exists due to social conditioning and through no fault of her own, if you can't grasp this, and appreciate that I mean no slight, I'm not sure what to say.

As for the rest of what you say, I made no effort to betray confidence, I mentioned no names. If you have a suspicion at to who this person might be (something I will neither confirm nor deny) I suggest you keep it to yourself; you have no realistic way of divining who I am talking about, and your assumptions may lead to mistaken conclusions which may offend some third party.

My pet monkey gave me an translation

"oompa loompa dupity doo"

Is this an accurate translation?

**RebelliousVanilla** · 4th-October-2009

Quote from dad_savage

I'm not taking a 'stab' at anyone. The mention of simple facts is in no way meant to impugne her character, there's nothing wrong with her that isn't also wrong with all women, a trait which exists due to social conditioning and through no fault of her own, if you can't grasp this, and appreciate that I mean no slight, I'm not sure what to say.

As for the rest of what you say, I made no effort to betray confidence, I mentioned no names. If you have a suspicion at to who this person might be (something I will neither confirm nor deny) I suggest you keep it to yourself; you have no realistic way of divining who I am talking about, and your assumptions may lead to mistaken conclusions which may offend some third party.

The fact that you are writing in public what you discussed with someone in private, without asking that person if it is ok to write it in public isn't excused by not naming the person. You can discuss something in public if that person already did it or that person told you you can do it. Otherwise, yes, you betrayed that person's trust and you lack integrity.

And your generalization is retarded - so is the person you talked to entitled to say that all men lack integrity because you do?

**themanonthestreet** · 4th-October-2009

What I find most humorous about this 'article' ia that the lions share of great chefs in MOST parts of the world are... ahem... men!

So the question begs, WTF?

TMOTS

**Marx** · 4th-October-2009

Those engaging in petty squabbles need to consider another avenue if they wish to continue. Otherwise, please treat this forum with some respect and keep the petty squabbles out of it.