Loser !!

**Percy** · 29th-November-2008

Recession: When the money goes, so does the toxic wife

As the recession worsens, a lot of rich men are finding their gold-digging wives are taking to their heels

By Tara Winter Wilson
Last Updated: 7:31PM GMT 26 Nov 2008

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financetopics/recession/3527803/Recession-When-the-money-goes-so-does-the-toxic-wife.html

Some women are like businessmen - utterly ruthless, and seeing a rich man as their career path.

'You loser!" screamed Katie, aiming a vase at her husband. "You've destroyed my life,'' she continued, hurling it. "Just look at my hair, look at my nails! You loser, you jerk, you nobody."

Katie's husband, Jack, whose property portfolio disintegrated in the financial crash, had just told his wife that she would have to cut back on her thrice-weekly visits to Nicky Clarke, the nail salon in Harvey Nichols, and the oxygen facials, chemical peels and seaweed wraps at Space NK.
Not only that, but they no longer had the money to pay for an army of bullied Eastern Europeans to wait on her hand and foot.

Worse was to come – the brow-lift would have to be cancelled; her black Amex card would have to be snipped in half; and there was no way, he told her, that he could carry on spending £28,000 a year on Henry's school fees at Eton.

Chloe, too, would have to leave the marginally cheaper (only £25,000 pa) Wycombe Abbey immediately.

Such was the aggression and verbal and physical abuse that followed that Jack was left with cut lips and blood streaming from a broken nose.
Their eight-year-old child, not yet at boarding school, sat cowering in a corner and dialling 999. When they arrived, they had to restrain Katie forcibly from attacking her husband.

An extreme and isolated example of the global economic meltdown hitting the £1 million home? Sadly no. When the super-rich feel the pinch, inevitably, the Toxic Wife heads off.

The Toxic Wife, first identified in these pages almost two years ago, is a particular and terrifying species.

Not to be confused with the stay-at-home mother who selflessly devotes herself to the upbringing of her children, with all the housework and domestic chores that entails, the Toxic Wife is the woman who gives up work as soon as she marries, ostensibly to create a stable home environment for any offspring that might come along, but who then employs large numbers of staff to do all the domestic work she promised to undertake, leaving her with little to do all day except shop, lunch and luxuriate.

Having married her wealthy husband with his considerable salary uppermost in her mind, the Toxic Wife simply does not do "for richer, for poorer". Little Dorrit, she ain't.

Indeed, lawyers and financial advisers have reported a 50 per cent increase in the number of divorce inquiries since the financial markets collapsed in September.

A recent survey conducted by community website makefriendsonline revealed that a third of 10,000 respondents believe that financial hardship will cause a relationship to fail, while matrimonial law specialists Mishcon de Reya have reported up to 300 per cent more inquiries.

Numbers have risen significantly as couples seek to reach an agreement before the recession tightens its grip. But for the Toxic Wife, "agreement" is the last thing on her mind.

There are countless stories of them acting in the most bizarre and inhumane ways. For gold-diggers are materialistic to such an extent that they are emotionally detached from other people.

There's an inability to empathise with another human being. They certainly don't ''do'' conscience.

Money, on the other hand, they both love and understand.

''I told my wife to stop this organic food malarkey,'' said Jeremy, a beleaguered hedge-fund manager, another man who fell for an extremely beautiful yet extravagant woman.

"She went ballistic. Organic Hass avocados cost £1.75 each and she wanted me to buy six of them! In the end, I just peeled off the labels that said they were certified organic and put them on ordinary avocados – she didn't notice the difference. I did the same with bananas…''

''So why did she walk out on you?'' I asked.

''She has a very high standard of living,'' he said. ''She's never taken the Tube or a bus; it's always taxis. And she likes to eat out a lot, at the best restaurants, and she likes to buy expensive gifts for people she wants to impress.

"As soon as the financial wobbles started, she must have joined some upmarket dating agency because somehow she's found another very rich man pretty damn fast.''

(P. The world is overflowing with stupid bastards)

Another case is Sasha who, for the past few months, had been gloating about the £3.4 million chalet in Verbier her husband was about to exchange on, how she'd managed to hire a high-society interior decorator to do it up for a song (''more an anthem, actually", she'd giggled) and how much she was looking forward to a white, snowy Christmas there.

At the last minute, Husband pulled out of the deal. Never mind that he had lost his lucrative job in the City, she felt he had deliberately traumatised her and is suing him for divorce on the grounds of mental cruelty. '

'She's got the personality of an overindulged infant,'' he sighed, ''a spoilt brat who starts screaming the moment a toy is taken away.''

(P. And the dork married her !! )

In the grown-up world that toy is money and what it can buy: status, power, glamour and arrogance. It also has a way of making these particular women precious. ''Because I'm worth it'' has become the catch-all legitimiser for any personal indulgence.

According to Susie Ambrose, a marital psychotherapist and CEO of Seventy-Thirty, an upmarket introduction company that takes its name from the work versus free time balance, there has been an unprecedented demand from married women recently.

''We are being targeted by women on the fence between leaving their husbands who are on the brink of losing their wealth, and wanting to meet someone extremely rich straight away,'' she says.

Like a frog, the Toxic Wife needs to hop safely on to another lily pad, and a rich one, before leaving her husband. She won't stand on her own two feet. And finding a job is quite beneath her.

Yet Susie Ambrose thinks such women ''are like businessmen – utterly ruthless". The rich man is the career path, the meal ticket, and it doesn't matter how fat, old, balding or unattractive he is – it's solely about money.

''These particular women know how to fake love,'' adds Ambrose. ''They're actually very good at it.''

She now has a waiting-list for her life-coaching sessions – a course costs between £10,000-£60,000 – on how to distinguish a gold-digger from a genuine woman.

(P. Any man who needs to spend 60,000 squids on that is in need of a lobotomy. Its cheaper)

Men, it seems, have got wise to the potential Toxic Wife and don't want to end up with someone who is going to bolt the moment they experience some financial bad luck.

For men, divorce is one of the most expensive trials in life – emotionally and financially. As the joke doing the rounds among City men goes: "This credit crunch is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."

But this is no joke. I've seen at first hand how, as soon as money disappears, so does love.

Olivia and Richard had a set of beautiful and expensively conceived twins (we're talking around £30,000 worth of IVF treatments for the right gender – she joked how she would send them back if they were girls), a fabulous house, great holidays several times a year, two nannies and a lifestyle of which most of us lesser mortals could only fantasise.

How we laughed when Richard, with admiration in his voice, mentioned at a drinks party last year that he'd turned to his wife in the middle of the night and asked her if she'd still love him if he lost all his money.

''F--- no!'' had been her answer. Such a feisty, amusing (and obviously joky) response delighted him. But today he is scratching his head with abject dejection. She had meant it.

(P. 'Feisty' is it ? Amusing? Obviously he has already had the lobotomy)

She left him the moment he lost his senior post at an investment bank and immediately hooked up with another rich man.

Worse, she took their boys with her and he rarely sees them because she has since moved to America to start afresh with her new, unsuspecting milch-cow.

As most of us are battening down the hatches and finding inventive ways to cope with the new austerity, some unfortunate men have not only lost their jobs, they are also having the scales ripped from their eyes.

The horrible truth has dawned: they married a woman who wanted them solely for their money.

(P. There are some who would not see the truth if it was seventeen foot tall and biting their arse.)

**MadShangi** · 29th-November-2008

I can't imagine any woman that would do "for richer, or poorer" these days.

**Incognito** · 29th-November-2008

I don't know about all of you, but I'm so sick of hearing about "rich people" and all their woes. I could care less. Their problems seem surreal to me.

**Percy** · 29th-November-2008

I don't know about all of you, but I'm so sick of hearing about "rich people" and all their woes. I could care less. Their problems seem surreal to me.

A 'Counsellor' has to make a living. Dinna fergit the fees.

Just think of the 'Gold-digger Identification Course' you could run at 60,000 squids per capita a pop.

**Celtic Druid** · 29th-November-2008

Some women are like businessmen - utterly ruthless, and seeing a rich man as their career path.

For an increasing number of 'such' women marriage is essentially a business.

They have a very accurate idea of the worth of his current and projected assets, have timetabled the introduction of offspring to use as annuities and bargaining power in the eventual divorce, and have already coldly devised an exit strategy long before she walks down the aisle.

Many women marry in order to divorce, such are the lucrative benefits to be accrued from it.

'You loser!" screamed Katie, aiming a vase at her husband. "You've destroyed my life,'' she continued, hurling it. "Just look at my hair, look at my nails! You loser, you jerk, you nobody."

She's the one who sounds like a loser, and a violent one at that. Gorging in parasitical fashion on the sweat and toil of his endeavours, and then having the sheer effrontery to throw a puerile temper tantrum when practical financial measures are presented in light of a world recession affecting all.

This sense of entitlement amongst western women is spreading as destructively as a virulent plague!

Such was the aggression and verbal and physical abuse that followed that Jack was left with cut lips and blood streaming from a broken nose.

Their eight-year-old child, not yet at boarding school, sat cowering in a corner and dialling 999. When they arrived, they had to restrain Katie forcibly from attacking her husband.

Maybe the police witnessing this domestic violence by her on him, will help in his favour regarding any divorce proceedings. At the very least maybe her proclivity for violence will sway a sensible judge in awarding the father custody.

Indeed, lawyers and financial advisers have reported a 50 per cent increase in the number of divorce inquiries since the financial markets collapsed in September.

'Toxic Wives' are preempting any further decline in the fortunes of their beset husbands, and effectively capping the price of her "marital shares" before they plummet further in value, by divorcing forthwith.

**Percy** · 29th-November-2008

Maybe this 'witnessed' domestic violence by her will help in his favour regarding any divorce proceedings. At the very least maybe her proclivity for violence will sway a sensible judge in awarding the father custody.

A polythene dog in Hell has a better chance.

**Kim** · 29th-November-2008

Disgusting....and to think that there are people in the world with actual problems, like wondering how they're going to keep their homes or feed their children....but I suppose such trivialities pale in comparison to being able to eat organic or maintain you nails.

I can't imagine any woman that would do "for richer, or poorer" these days.

There's a few, but we're definitely a dying a breed. Of course, I'd submit that fulfilling the 'for better or for worse' portion of their vows is an even rarer phenomenon.

**Celtic Druid** · 29th-November-2008

Quote from Percy

A polythene dog in Hell has a better chance.

Percy, indeed the odds are stacked, but such pessimism seems to preclude the idea of there being 'any' sensible or moral judges left?

**Marx** · 29th-November-2008

You know, I'm not remotely religious - but I believe in the meaning of marriage. I recognise now (shortly after marrying, actually) that my ex-wife had no concept about it. Support was never offered, empathy was alien to her, sympathy was even further away...

Many friends who observed her concluded and suggested to me that perhaps she had misunderstood who I was. When we first met, I had some money to my name - when we married, I was off work due to an operation which later got an MRSA infection causing further lost time at work.

In short, I was skint.

The way she talked changed drastically.

And now, long before reading this article, I refer to her a toxic princess.

Coincidence?

**bola** · 29th-November-2008

Quote from TERA

I don't know about all of you, but I'm so sick of hearing about "rich people" and all their woes. I could care less. Their problems seem surreal to me.

Sure, we don't need to feel sorry for the rich. But there is a tendency amongst the intellectual elite in our society to glorify women, to see them as symbols of love and life, as morally superior. It's one of the goals of this site to point out that, although women by nature have many good qualities, they are subject to human weakness just like men.

**Percy** · 29th-November-2008

You know, I'm not remotely religious - but I believe in the meaning of marriage.

Hopefully, Karl, one day you might gain a 'religious' understanding or at least some insight. Not that I wish you to become a 'god-botherer'.

Marriage is meant to be a joining together, indisolvable. It is a joining of souls. Those that do not 'believe' (in the sense of living one's life by) in either souls or an indisolvable joining may accidently stay together but it is very rare.

What passes for Love in our modern world is a very pale and whipsery version of what Love can be. When it is a Grace, it is Unconditional. Many, if not most people, have no understanding of what a Grace is either. What passes for knowledge of our selves is also pale and slight. Many people have as much daily recognition and acknowledgement of their own soul as they do of their spleen or the lateral geniculate nucleus of their Thalamus.

A man and a woman are one another's Purpose and Comfort in a harsh life. We live in a God-rejected society where forces have driven us apart and there is little comfort and only base, narcissistic purpose.

I am sitting here in the cold at three in the morning listening to sublime music, wondering what has happened to this civilisation. The music is of an age past by five generations now. It is beautiful. It is an echo of a Grace that was given to particular (and probably undeserving) men. It reaches into my soul. Voices soar. Women's and men's. Deep and high and pure and melodious. There is 'meaning' that lies well beneath the words and notes. A meaning that is 'known' only by specific 'organs' of the self. The soul. It is a world away from 'Pop' /rock / rap /crap.

You are unfortunate to have met and started a life with a toxic princess. But it can barely be avoided in this sad era. We are surrounded by crap and crappy people. They are all surface and no depth.

A 'real' marriage is not disolvable. I still am joined to my beautiful girl, no matter that she is gone. It is more than the fact that I 'Promised' to love her forever but the fact that that forever was recognised, 'known'. It is despite the fact that she does not realise the gift she has thrown away. I am cold.

I am a loser. I have lost her love. She has not lost mine.

The fools with massive wealth who marry fatuous bimbos may deserve their fate. The bimbos deserve them too.

God save us from what we deserve.

**Feckless** · 29th-November-2008

This is....so sad. How many marry for money? Money gets rare....divorces up by 50%. Incredible....thanks for sharing.

**yohan** · 29th-November-2008

What we read here about rich men is nothing new...

While on one side very successful, they fail in private relation, they believe everything, they are cheated and they have no protection by law.

What we read here about rich men, is however true with ordinary men as well. You have no job anymore, because you are getting ill, your wife will leave you...even we know this with young men, just a student, no big income... he loves his girlfriend, she tells him, she needs this and that, he tries his best, finally into debits and she finds another, leaving him...

Many Western women are truly highly materialistic orientated, up to cruelty.

Interesting the article, there is not a single word in it, which says, what these women are doing, is wrong...

It only says:

The horrible truth has dawned: they married a woman who wanted them solely for their money.

Is this the fault of the rich man, who married such a bitch?
Sounds like that...

**yohan** · 29th-November-2008

Interesting link from the same story.
I expect angry feminists showing up soon...these recent articles are not PC...
Good to see that domestic violence issues from women to men and the relationship between extorting money against 'love' is now a little bit under discussion.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/f...the-prowl.html

How to spot a toxic wife on the prowl
Five tips on how to distinguish a gold digger from a genuine love interest.

Last Updated: 7:29PM GMT 26 Nov 2008

1 Her eyes will clock your car keys to check you drive an expensive machine. She'll also take in your shoes and your watch. Be aware of her eyes subtly darting around you.
2 She won't waste time with much small talk; within the first 10 minutes she will have established how rich you are. This will be a covert operation as she doesn't want you to think she is a gold-digger. Simple questions such as ''Where did you go on holiday this year?'' or ''Have you ever done the Cresta Run?'' are, in fact, loaded.
3 She will choose the most expensive item on the menu or the most expensive drink.
4 She will be dressed provocatively and flirt without first finding out if you're involved with someone else. She has no scruples about stealing another woman's man.
5 She may be highly educated, an Oxford graduate for example, but beware an intelligent woman who plays down her academic achievements and hasn't worked in years. She is on a mission. Indeed she may even say she has a job (when in fact she is still being supported by her current husband). In this case, watch out for over-grooming. Her nails, outfit, hair and make-up have probably taken most of the day to perfect. After all, her investment is herself.

**Stan** · 29th-November-2008

Well at least the guy found out his marriage and relationship was a sham built on nothing substantial. Hopefully the toxic wife will "allow" him to see the kids. (Court Orders for Visitation don't matter as they are not enforceable)

Maybe he can find a better person to share life with after this rude awakening.

But it sounds like the best "revenge" would be to make more money again. Oops...that means the TEW (toxic exe-wife) will demand more alimony.