13th-August-2008
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By Chelsa at Feministing Community: Sexism hurts men too. (sarcasm) Thanks for opening my eyes (/sarcasm) Quote: (This is an older rant I had, that I thought I would share with the readers. Please... opinionify it!)
Dear Dr. Phil,
I want to thank you for bringing your ridiculousness to a new level today. Now, I may be a little biased, as I think your show is a bit of a sham, but today you really proved how useless at addressing people’s problems you really are.
The topic was sex: always an interesting topic in my books, so I wanted to see what TV’s 2nd favourite talk show host had to say on the subject. The first guest was interesting; the wife was significantly more interested in the horizontal mambo - and all of its fun variations –than her husband. Cool, I thought, someone is actually going to address gender stereotypes in human sexuality. So how disturbed was I when the husband started describing an incident where his wife tied him up against his will and had her way with him. In his own words he describes an occasion in which he feels Sylvia took advantage of him. “The time that Sylvia tied me up was very traumatic, very startling. I've never had anything like that. I had tears come down. I was scared.”. It sounded like a really bad case of marital rape.
To my chagrin, you, your OBGYN specialist, the wife and the audience thought that this woman’s aggressiveness with her partner was humorous. The question was even asked, why he didn't just remove himself from the situation if he didn't want it, after all, he is a "pretty stout old boy" (No joke... those were the exact words used). Seriously? The fact that he had to dose his wife with sleeping pills to get out of unwanted sexual activity was quaint; his minor heart attack(s) during sex, garnered chuckles all around. So Dr. Phil, the self-proclaimed master of confrontation and blunt advice, did you tell this woman that she’s a rapist? I’m horrified to think that word didn’t even come up. If the same story had been told with the roles of the participants reversed, that man would likely be looking at some jail time, or at the very least, a tongue lashing from you. Rather, it was chocked up to the likelihood of an overabundance of testosterone in the wife that needed to be fixed to slow down her nymphish tendencies.
Not once was it suggested that if one partner is not willing, that it isn’t sex anymore. I generally ignore the stupidity that pervades your show, but this had me reeling. First, a woman with a “masculine” sex drive shouldn’t have to be fixed: women can be horny perverts, too. Second, rape can happen to men. It’s not something that should be laughed at or made into a light issue. People wonder why partner abuse against men is stupidly under-reported. Thanks for enabling that disturbing trend, Dr. Phil.
So please, do the world a favour: stop being such a double-standard holding, douchebag and do your “job”… whatever that really is.
Regards,
Your #1 fan.
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