Why men are better in bed than dildos?

**RebelliousVanilla** · 7th-September-2009

1. Unlike dildos, they say a word from time to time.
2. They have an internal thermostat that always keeps them at a pleasant temperature.
3. They massage your feet.
4. Their batteries get replaced themselves, a lot faster, especially if the model is around 20 years old.
5. They don't fit in a suitcase, but they can carry one.
6. You don't have to report them at customs.
7. The nice ones bring you ice cream in bed, afterwards...
8. They come in a lot of sizes, shapes and tastes.
9. They're a lot better at having a conversation.
10. They make cute sounds.
11. They wash themselves afterwards.
12. They warm up the whole bed if you put them there 10 minutes before going to bed.
13. They scratch your back.
14. After a "session" with a man, your whole body is tired, not just a hand.
15. They can clean windows in the corners at which you can't usually get.
16. They eat the leftovers in the kitchen.
17. They have a completely different perspective.
18. It's fun to look at them.
19. Usually, a man is a better dancer than a dildo.
20. They have a lot of parts with which you can play.

This made me remember of that stupid thing with men are not obsolete because a dildo can't earn a paycheck yet.

**Trauma Fried Brains** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from RebelliousVanilla

6. You don't have to report them at customs.

You do?
This is not one I knew; ...how rude!!!

Or is it only for the customs of certain countries? I knew some women who said they took it overseas, but they didn’t mention if they did or didn’t have to declare it. That was before 9-11 so it might be different now.

**Feckless** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from Trauma Fried Brains

You do?
This is not one I knew; ...how rude!!!

Or is it only for the customs of certain countries? I knew some women who said they took it overseas, but they didn’t mention if they did or didn’t have to declare it. That was before 9-11 so it might be different now.

This just happens in my mind....imagine the inside of a plane and suddenly a scream...

"Oh god she has a dildo....back off.....ARGHHHHHHHH"

**Trauma Fried Brains** · 7th-September-2009

That is a Femerrorist hijacking!

And the courts will accept mitigation like the lower cabin pressure resulted in them suffering DUMK, (Daughters of Ulrike Meinhof Komplex).

**RebelliousVanilla** · 7th-September-2009

Ha, I didn't write those, I found them on a "blog" I wrote like 2 years ago and I was amused for the second time by them.

**Percy** · 7th-September-2009

I am inclined to agree that a chap (some) is better than a dildo, but there are some things that I am prepared to take someone else's opinion about. I have tried neither so comparison is difficult.

So, RV........

**senach** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from Percy

I am inclined to agree that a chap (some) is better than a dildo, but there are some things that I am prepared to take someone else's opinion about. I have tried neither so comparison is difficult.

So, RV........

It is like strapping a Merlin to your arse,but for women.

**RebelliousVanilla** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from senach

It is like strapping a Merlin to your arse,but for women.

lmao.

Well, each have their advantages, but the real deal has a lot more. :P Even if the guy isn't that skilled, it's more fun.

**senach** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from RebelliousVanilla

lmao.

Well, each have their advantages, but the real deal has a lot more. :P Even if the guy isn't that skilled, it's more fun.

A Rolls Royce Merlin,time to wash your hair again.

**RebelliousVanilla** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from senach

A Rolls Royce Merlin,time to wash your hair again.

lol, it's not dirty though. :P

**Percy** · 7th-September-2009

Senach, I am old, but not that old. I have had Speys and Avons strapped to the arse, but the Merlin was usually attached to the nose.

**Trauma Fried Brains** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from RebelliousVanilla

Even if the guy isn't that skilled, it's more fun.

Did you read the instructions properly and changed old batteries? 'O ! O'

"lol, it's not dirty though. :P "

Yeah?
Obviously you haven’t had 12 cylinders where the sun doesn’t shine then.

**Incognito** · 7th-September-2009

Of course a man is better than a dildo. Does there really need to be a discussion or debate about it? Is it just me, or am I just too irritable these days to see whatever humor is supposed to be there in that list?

**RebelliousVanilla** · 7th-September-2009

Quote from TERA

Of course a man is better than a dildo. Does there really need to be a discussion or debate about it? Is it just me, or am I just too irritable these days to see whatever humor is supposed to be there in that list?

It's not a debate. lol