Quote from alpha

Not so rare anymore....

The international Military-Feminist complex has announced plans to celebrate the seventh Chinese person in space.

"We thought as how seven is our favourite number, that we'd be throwing a big party for the astronaut in question, with fanfares and a taxpayer-funded global media event,", said a big fat crop-headed spokesperson of indecipherable gender. "I know there's been six other Chinese astronauts, but this one seemed different, more special, ya know?"

There are no plans to invite the six other Chinese Astronauts to the party, however.

"What they did was OK, but to go up seventh after all the men have come back safe and whole, that takes real guts," Sheila van Dyke continued. "That girl's a trailblazer, no doubt about it. She's a strong, independent modern woman making her way in a male dominated ... er ... space vacuum."

Quote from Oneinthree

The international Military-Feminist complex has announced plans to celebrate the seventh Chinese person in space.

"We thought as how seven is our favourite number, that we'd be throwing a big party for the astronaut in question, with fanfares and a taxpayer-funded global media event,", said a big fat crop-headed spokesperson of indecipherable gender. "I know there's been six other Chinese astronauts, but this one seemed different, more special, ya know?"

There are no plans to invite the six other Chinese Astronauts to the party, however.

"What they did was OK, but to go up seventh after all the men have come back safe and whole, that takes real guts," Sheila van Dyke continued. "That girl's a trailblazer, no doubt about it. She's a strong, independent modern woman making her way in a male dominated ... er ... space vacuum."

LOL

Q.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a fair-minded, decisive woman were walking down the street together.

Suddenly, they all noticed a homeless man in the gutter who was in pretty rough shape.

Which one moved to help the man first?

A.

What are you, superstitious? None of 'em, they don't exist.


Harvard University's Center for Gender Justice has released new study results, indicating that 97% of women who ride bicycles do so to alienate, confuse, dominate, and settle childhood grievances against, them with that fishy smell.

A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.

Somehow the professor heard about the plan.

In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night."

All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to exclaim that the light-bulb has violated the socket, and the other to secretly wish that she was the socket.
Last one haha

And this last one:
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb:
12.
One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like",
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men,
one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

Q: What's better than one dead feminist?
A: Ten of them.

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead feminists and a Ferrari?
A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Q: What's more fun than a dead feminist nailed to a tree?
A: Prying her off with a crowbar.



(adapted from dead baby jokes, but I think it's far more tasteful making dead feminist jokes)

Wow, I failed hard. Literally all but one of those jokes were already posted lol I shall have to try again

Q: Why do Feminists have legs??

A: You ever seen the mess a slug makes?

Q. Two feminists jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What does a feminist use as a contraceptive?
A. Her personality.

Q. What do you call a feminist in a suit?
A. The defendant.

Q. Why did the feminist cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger, for no reason what so ever.

Q. What do you call feminist in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.

I didn't see any of these here lol maybe that will make up for it

Quote from That Nordic Guy

A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.

Somehow the professor heard about the plan.

In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night."

All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."

Best one yet!

I'll have to come up with one now...

Quote from That Nordic Guy

A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.

Somehow the professor heard about the plan.

In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night."

All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to exclaim that the light-bulb has violated the socket, and the other to secretly wish that she was the socket.
Last one haha

And this last one:
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb:
12.
One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like",
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men,
one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.

All of them. One lights a candle to get back to her bonbons, and she goes online to start the new "Take Back the Darkness" campaign.

Not a feminist joke but a sexist one that is current with it being Olympic time:


"and the line up for the womens one hundred meters final is, from left to right:"

"yes, no, no, yes, maybe, from behind, no, yes, definitely yes, not even with yours".

Quote from That Nordic Guy

Q. What do you call a feminist in a suit?
A. The defendant.

Had me laughing along. But shouldn't this one be she's the plantiff, suing everyone else who just gives her a compliment?

I asked for an "honest feminist"...

What do a feminist and ginger have in common?

They both have no souls.



(no offence to gingers out there )