What Would an Advice Columnist Say Were the Genders Reversed?

**Feckless** · 21st-October-2008

What Would an Advice Columnist Say Were the Genders Reversed?

October 17th, 2008 by Glenn Sacks

Slate.com's "Dear Prudence" may well be right about this troubled couple, but I find it hard to believe the same advice would be dispensed were the genders reversed.

From Mr. Right Is Never Wrong: My genius boyfriend wins every argument, and I'm sick of it. (10/16/08):

Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and I are both in our early 20s and have been dating for three years. We have a really strong relationship in almost every way, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. But here's the rub: My boyfriend is a genius. In so many ways, I love this about him. He challenges me to think about things, I am constantly learning, and he is always honest and rational.

Unfortunately, these last two qualities have caused a bit of strain. I consider myself a very intelligent person also—nowhere near his level, but I've always felt confident academically. This sometimes takes a hit when I am around him. I rarely win arguments because I simply can't keep up with him. In matters of politics or world issues, this can be frustrating, but it doesn't really raise my ire.

However, sometimes his argumentative style and calculating rationale are applied to our relationship. In many situations, I feel as though I am the one who has to compromise because he always wins the argument. I know my positions are reasonable, but I just can't articulate them as well as he does.

I have talked to my boyfriend about this, but I think he has a hard time seeing my point of view—that though my feelings may not always be logical or rational, they are still valid. Am I being unreasonable for wanting a little bit of slack, or should I just accept that I'm dating Dr. Manhattan and let it go?

—In Love With a Super Computer
Dear In Love,
Did you conclude on your own that your boyfriend is a genius, or is this one of the things he had to articulate to poor, dumb you? I don't know what his IQ is, but his emotional intelligence comes in somewhere around "dolt."
I'll take your word that you're dating a virtual Einstein, but take mine that he's an arrogant twit who's got you confusing bullying for brilliance. It's also possible he has some kind of disorder that leaves him unable to process the feelings of others. If so, he should be seeking help, or else he is destined to go through life alienating co-workers, friends, and loved ones like you.

Actually, you might want to examine why you have spent three years being told by Mr. Spock that what you say has no validity because it lacks rationality. Mr. Spock and Dr. Manhattan are effective characters because while they seem human, their lack of emotion and empathy means they aren't quite. So give your mastermind a copy of Emotional Intelligence and tell him it's about a subject in which he's deficient, but it's important for the two of you that he learn.

What many advice columnists would say were a man complaining that his girlfriend is too smart is so obvious I need not even write it--all together now, say it...

GlennSacks.com Blog Archive What Would an Advice Columnist Say Were the Genders Reversed?

**Percy** · 22nd-October-2008

"...may well be right..." ?

Bugger the gender issue and whether the advice would be the same for a woman, just look at the advice itself.

One side of the issue is presented. No verification. No evidence. Just hearsay and perception. It's an occupational hazard of course as one side is usually all the advice-giver has to go on, but that in itself should set some limits on the judgments made. And yet enough it seems for a wild and unethical judgment about the chap is made. 'Dolt', 'arrogant twit', 'has a disorder'; there is no basis for any of these terms.

Was 'in Love's' real name Delila, I wonder? At least Prudence didn't recommend a hair cut.

**paul parmenter** · 22nd-October-2008

I can only assume this question hit "Dear Prudie" at the wrong time of the month - and I am trying to be kind. If she reacts like this normally, then she should never have been given an advice column. Her answer is offensive garbage.

**shaazam** · 22nd-October-2008

what a name for a feminit

**byslexic_danana** · 22nd-October-2008

To me, the letter to 'Dear Trollop-Face' basically reads "I am not very good at articulating myself, which makes it hard for my boyfriend to understand my point of view, at times"; to Trollop-Face, herself, however, it reads "My boyfriend is a chauvinistic, unfeeling bastard, for not being able to read my mind".

I mean, what the fuck? She knows a sweet fuck all, as to the nature of the arguments hinted at, yet sees fit to judge him merely for getting the upper hand in which; how does she know that these aren't initiated by the woman, over stupid things (deep gasps at the mere thought, no doubt....)?

If he's able to win arguments through his rationale and argumentative styles, then the chances are he is in the right, simple as; kind of reminds me of arguing with feminists, actually. One doesn't tend to win an argument, without good reason.

"Actually, you might want to examine why you have spent three years being told by Mr. Spock that what you say has no validity because it lacks rationality."

Er, and where is the evidence that he has so much as implied this? The relevant translation is: "Actually, you may want to examine why you have spent three years losing arguments to Mr. Smart, because what you say has less validity and has a lack of rationality, as compared to him; and take a step back for reflection".

Woman complains of losing arguments to a smarter man? OPPRESSIVE, HORRIBLE, BULLYING MAN!

Man complains of losing arguments to a smarter woman? CHAUVINISTIC, JEALOUS, UNABLE-TO-HANDLE-A-STRONG-WOMAN MAN!

**6ame** · 22nd-October-2008

This woman is nothing but a dribbling retarded moron who talks out of her arse, she is a man-hating rug muncher, who in my opinion, is utterly stupid to post her ugly-arse photo next to her "advice" column, what with dishing out advice that would make people want to smack her across the chops.

Anyway, I looked through some of her other stuff, and I wanted to show just what kind of witch we're talking about here.
Here: http://www.slate.com/id/2181579/ she has a woman complaining that her boyfriend and her dog don't get on, seriously, I didn't make that up, here are some highlights from it;

Advice Seeker:

Last night, she was sitting by me on the sofa and I petted her head. A few minutes later, I playfully reached out to rub my boyfriend's head and he got really upset, said my hand smelled like the dog, how disgusting that was, etc.

He routinely terrorizes her by growling at her when he comes in the door and pinching her on the nose.

"Advice" Offered By Cuntface:

This is not just a matter of your boyfriend's disinterest in your "baby"; he's a brute whose behavior is over the line.

It sounds more like he's just trying to control you.

There is no compromise here except to insist that he behave kindly to your pup. If he can't, once he's out of your life, you'd be surprised how little you and Fifi miss him.

Here: http://www.slate.com/id/2184829/ she has a woman complaining about her husband visiting his parents, here are some highlights from it;

Advice Seeker:

I've been dating a wonderful man for six years—he's compassionate, smart, funny, and successful

Every weekend since we've been together, he drives back to his hometown

he doesn't understand why I don't want to spend my weekends at his parents' home—they are neither sick nor elderly.

we are talking about having a family. But in the back of my mind, I get a vision of either him bailing on me every weekend to go "home,"

"Advice" Offered By Cuntface:

He looks like an adult man, yet you're actually dating a 9-year-old.

Obviously, you know that your boyfriend is trapped in a bizarre, smothering, psychological triangle with his parents.

he sets off every weekend in order to sleep in his childhood bed.

I accept that your boyfriend has many fine qualities. But these seem outweighed by the fact that you two probably have never gone to a movie together on a Saturday night because he's at his parents' rearranging his baseball cards until his mother comes to kiss him goodnight and say, "Lights out! And no reading in bed with a flashlight!"

The first one she's suggesting that if a man does not like dogs, or his girlfriend's dog, then he's controlling, there's a surprise.

The second one she suggests that a wonderful, compassionate, smart, funny, and successful man who visits his parents is basically a child who has problems with being away from home.

The woman is a trollop, but for her cats' sake, I hope she tastes good, because they'll eat her after she dies alone.

**Yudonia** · 22nd-October-2008

WOAH! You mean anyone can make an advice column and pull retarded advice out of their ass and people will buy it?

Hmm...What is the world coming to.

**Percy** · 23rd-October-2008

WOAH! You mean anyone can make an advice column and pull retarded advice out of their ass and people will buy it? Yudonia.

Dear Yudy.

Yes ! Oh yes, Yes ! Oh God. Oooohh. Yessss.!!

You can be an advice writer. A full set of instructions - with 15 free handy tips for success - can be your's for just $39.95. (+ p&h )

In addition, for just one easy payment of $27.75 you will get a Certificate showing that you are Certified.

A new career beckons, Yudy. Millions will thank you and hang on your every word - because believe me, your words are gonna hang you someday !

**Feckless** · 23rd-October-2008

Quote from Yudonia

WOAH! You mean anyone can make an advice column and pull retarded advice out of their ass and people will buy it?

No, no, no. There are certain rules. In relationship females are always right. It is always the mans fault. Don´t give advice on lesbian relationships. Well thats it.

**Percy** · 23rd-October-2008

There are certain rules. In relationship females are always right. It is always the mans fault.

Well thanks a lot, Feckless. You have just given away 2 of my 15 free handy tips !

**Feckless** · 23rd-October-2008

They were free anyway....want to share the other 13?

But let me guess...
- YOU buy HER presents not the other way round
- YOU have sex with her when SHE wants to not the other way round
- Her day is harder than your day! Always!
- Even if you work 10 hours a day you still have to do housework
- Be a man and suck it up