ARE you the life and soul of a party then your an abuser according to Sandra Horley chief executive of the charity Refuge, this is the one who tries to take credit for opening the first womens shelter for domestic violence in the UK by rewriting history and removing any reference to Prizzy.
One of her most famous quotes

"Refuges for women are struggling to survive, and if we put across this idea that the abuse of men is as great as the abuse of women, then it could seriously affect our funding." - Sandra Horley, director [1992] of Chiswick Family Refuge, as quoted by Isabel Wolff in Domestic violence: the other side, The Spectator, 28 November 1992, p 24

This is why she fights tooth and nail to let it be known that women are as aggressive and violent as men within realationships. As the majority of her stats have been destroyed she still hangs on the two murders a week of women at the hands of their partners that only women are the victims and men the spawn of the devil.
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I can spot the men who abuse women ... they're the life and soul of the party

By SHARON HENDRY
Published: 17 Nov 2008







SANDRA HORLEY has an unusual dinner party trick – it can save lives.

As chief executive of the charity Refuge, she has campaigned against domestic violence for 30 years.
So it is no surprise the mother-of-one has learned a thing or two.
And Sandra, 56, reckons she can spot a male abuser within seconds.
She said: “After leaving a party, I sometimes reflect on the people and tell my husband if I think there was an abuser in our midst.
“Every time I’ve been proved right.”

Campaign ... Refuge


This month Sandra will receive the Ultimate Woman’s Woman award at the Cosmopolitan Ultimate Women Of The Year Awards 2008.
But how can she be so sure she has a monster in her sights?
She said: “Men with a tendency to abuse women are usually the life and soul of the party — the outgoing man who loves to be the centre of attention.
“Often their partner will change their behaviour in front of them and become submissive and timid.
“These are early warning signs. Men who abuse women can alternate quickly between rage and charm.

“Domestic violence has a pattern — it’s purposeful behaviour designed to control women. Abusers are jealous and possessive and systematically isolate and humiliate women.
“Domestic violence isn’t always about physical abuse. Emotional abuse can be just as devastating.

Crusade


“It isn’t an individual problem, it is a major social problem and against the law. Violence is a learned behaviour pattern and the good news is what is learned can be unlearned.
“Men who abuse women can change but they have to want to change.”
Sandra, originally from Ontario, began her crusade on behalf of Britain’s battered women after winning a scholarship at Oxford.

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She said: “I wanted to do something worthwhile when I wasn’t studying, so I applied for a job as director at a project in Wolverhampton for the homeless and for abused women. I stayed for five years.
“My mother had suffered from severe post-natal depression and couldn’t cope with the strain of raising children, so I had to leave home at 15 and I knew how it felt to be alone and poor.”
Sandra’s desire to improve women’s lives eventually led her to a groundbreaking women’s project in London called Chiswick Family Rescue.
It was in a house which she describes as “straight out of Dickens”.
She recalled: “It was desperately squalid and overcrowded and 150 abused women and children were sleeping head-to-toe.
“There were just two paid workers, including myself, and we were patching up horrific wounds every day.
“But in spite of all that, the women preferred to stay there rather than be beaten. In those days the police weren’t providing protection — it’s ‘just a domestic’ they would say — so for many it was their only escape.”
It was a letter to Princess Diana in 1993 which took Sandra’s work to another level.
She says: “Someone suggested I write to her about the plight of abused women and almost immediately she pledged her help. Because of that, I was able to launch Refuge.
“We now have 41 refuges where women and children can live safely while fleeing a violent man.
“We also provide court-based advocates for women who find the courage to prosecute their partners.
“We offer services for black and minority women and psychological support for traumatised women and kids.”
Sandra is responsible for raising the staggering £10,000 a day which keeps Refuge afloat. But she says it is the courage of the women she has met which keeps her focused.
“You never ever forget the women in this,” she said.

Party trick ... Sandra can spot abusers within seconds (picture posed by models)


“Two a week are killed by a violent partner and ten commit suicide every week because of domestic violence.”
Sandra said many of the cases were almost unbearable.

She said: “There was the gentle, wheelchair-bound lady whose husband beat her to a pulp.
“Then there was the midwife who was breast-feeding her baby when her husband flew into a rage demanding she leave the baby and get his dinner. She put her hand up to defend their child and he broke her arm in three places.
“And there was the woman who needed 250 stitches in her face after her husband attacked her with a hammer and chisel.
“I couldn’t have done the work for all these years without the support of my husband, Julian Nieman, and my lovely daughter Sam.”
Sandra’s work led her to form a working friendship with Sheryl Gascoigne, after she left her violent relationship with footballing legend Paul.
Sandra said: “Sheryl wanted to know how she could help and I gave her some personal support. With hindsight, the early warning signs were there.
Control

“Like many abusers, he was the life and soul of the party. He was also a romantic, putting Sheryl on a pedestal.
“Then, when she made a commitment to him, the systematic abuse began.
“The only predictable thing about abusers is their unpredictability. Like so many abused women, Sheryl was walking on eggshells for years.”
Sandra believes one of the biggest breakthroughs has been the change in police attitudes. “I first approached the Metropolitan Police in 1985 and succeeded in encouraging them to adopt a rigorous arrest-and-charge policy.
“In 1987, the Home Office issued a directive advising police to treat domestic violence as seriously as any other violent crime.”
In 2004, the Domestic Violence, Crime And Victims Act was passed, strengthening protection for abused partners and children.
Sandra is as committed to changing attitudes today as she was 30 years ago.
She insisted: “Domestic violence is a serious crime at the root of many social problems. It is about control.
“Refuges are only a partial solution — we need to prevent the problem through education and training.”


IF you would like to support Refuge, donate online at refuge.org.uk or call 020 7395 7700.

Lets see now. 2 per week is 104 per year.

From a population of 60 million.

Lets just stick to adult women in 'relationships', (including the many who are 'shacked up'), estimated (by me - not exactly accurate) at say 15 million.

That's a murder rate of 0.00069%

It means that 99.99931% of women - even the part-time hooker ones shacked up with Reggie Cray lookalikes, and ones in wheelchairs demanding tea, morning noon and night, and ex footballer's wives who we are all aware are the most highly productive as well as most desirable women in GB - are perfectly safe from being murdered.

Also - BONUS - there are 104 fewer 'abuse' calls each year decreasing and by 104 more annually. This could be improved, you know.

Did you notice this bit amongst the drivel - "Sandra is responsible for raising the staggering £10,000 a day which keeps Refuge afloat."

Staggering is right. I suggest that 10,000 squids a day (3.65 million pa.) could fund a lot of night classes for blokes to increase their abuse skill efficiency so that they don't just keep on bashing until their partner dies eventually after 533 years of monthly whacks to celebrate her period. One good whack could save them a huge amount of wasted effort and just think of the benefit to the GDP.

Refuge.. Best place for.. Refuse!!

Nothing new or clever here. All feminists can spot abusers instantly at ten paces. They are the ones with the penis.

Oh,...I don't know. The web is full of ...and their allies", allegedly with a penis.
I'd say "....the ones with BALLS"

But that's just me.

As long as nice guys are treated like losers and bad boys are treated like rock stars, women will always be abused.