Feminist calls for men's rights on International Women's Day

**John Dias** · 9th-March-2010

This self-described feminist gets some of her facts wrong on DV (men commit "90 percent of domestic abuse in North America"), but hey, at least she says that a true feminist must (italicized must!) not only support men's rights, but also "lobby" for them. I'll take it!

Feminism: we've come a long way ... but we're not even close to there yet
By Kyra Hoggan
OP/ED: Feminism: we've come a long way ... but we're not even close to there yet | The Castlegar Source
March 8, 2010

It's International Women's Day – a day I usually use to applaud the progress and accomplishments of my gender.

How cool that few would dare, any longer, refer to us as the “weaker sex” (at least not in our hearing), and that no one bats an eye when a woman's title is Dr. rather than Mrs. How wonderful to see women in Parliament and the Legislature (although look at the ratios – we're not there yet, ladies).

I love that I'm no longer expected to burn my bra in solidarity (bras are expensive and, as my colleague so aptly noted, we women need all the support we can get).

But in the face of all this happy self-congratulation, I'd like to suggest there's more yet to be done than merely patting each other on the backs.

Every year I say this – and every year I take heat for it.

A true feminist must lobby for men's rights.

Feminism is not about female supremacy – it's about equality. Seeking dominion over men is, therefore, the very antithesis of feminism.

Feminism is so often grossly misinterpreted. I don't hate men, in fact, I kinda like them (well ... most of them, anyway). I have no desire to dress or act like a man – mustache notwithstanding – and I don't think any of that has anything to do with feminism.

It's not about hating men or rejecting our differences – I like our differences, and I choose to shave my armpits regardless the political statement others feel that makes (although I will say, I wish men did likewise).

The operative word there, for anyone who missed it, was “choose”. Feminism is all about getting to choose; defining ourselves; not being locked into antiquated gender stereotypes that ultimately subjugate men and women alike.

I'm still going to wear nylons and high heels – that's my choice - but I want equal pay for equal work; equal access to all elements of our society; and equal opportunity.

None of that can happen, ladies – none of it – if we don't ensure men are equal. For you to be equal, so, too must they – look it up in the dictionary, if you doubt me.

So let's look at some of the inequities.

Men are statistically far more violent than women (90 per cent of all physical domestic abuse in North America is perpetrated by men), but they have nowhere near as much access to mental health services as women. Often, the only time men can receive publicly-funded mental health services like anger management training is a) in prison after committing a violent crime; b) after a psychotic break with full hospitalization, or; c) to address a substance addiction.

Go back to that domestic abuse statistic and ask yourself who we're hurting when men aren't given equal access to social safety nets.

Of course, even then, that's only if he drums up the courage to seek help in the face of grotesque stigma associated with so doing...another way in which our brothers are subjugated.

And how about parenting? We want men to see themselves as equal partners in parenting; sharing the responsibility and workload and, we hope, closeness and joy in the relationship ... but only if we're still married.

Look at the court statistics – when a relationship fails, men simply aren't considered equal stakeholders in caring for offspring. Well, they are financially ... but that's just money. When it comes to custody, time spent, decision-making – all the things the feminist movement claims to want from modern fathers – they take a dramatic backseat to their female co-parents. The numbers are clear ...women get more of the custody, more of the time. Period.

How is that equality?

And does it not foster, in fact forward, the antiquated, sexist notion that women are solely responsible for their children's emotional well-being (not to mention day-to-day care, from diaper changing to meal preparation to bathing and bedtime), while men's only responsibility is fiscal?

How does that do anything but violate a feminist persective?

And let's take a moment to note that I'm only referring to Western society here – woman are still stoned to death for promiscuity in other countries (while their male counterparts go unpunished). They're still the legal possessions of their fathers and husbands; still subjected to female genital mutilation; honour killings; being burnt alive over dowry issues.

How can we congratulate ourselves on our “equality” when the majority of the world still treats us like we're sub-human? How can we trust we'll keep that equality when more than half of the world would willingly – nay, gleefully – take it away?

The day our rights are safe is the day all women, the world over, enjoy the same rights – so what are we doing to make that happen? Negotiating with the Taliban sure doesn't seem, to me, to be a step in the right direction there – but how many women spoke out against that?

C'mon – do we mean it, or don't we?

Feminism can't just be about your rights, or my rights.

To be a true feminist; to genuinely entrench the values the feminist movement encompasses; we must begin earnestly fighting for the rights of all those around us - men, women of other nationalities, children, everyone - as well.

I don't want to spend today celebrating women – I actually think the concept is a tad patronizing – I want to spend it celebrating equality...but it seems to me we need to send out a lot more invites before that party can start.

**RebelliousVanilla** · 9th-March-2010

What I don't get is that these people want to choose their own things on an individual level, but never look at the bigger picture and how everyone choosing a certain things affects things. Gender stereotypes/roles actually were useful, but explaining that to a liberal...

**Percy** · 9th-March-2010

Good for this woman.

Do not knock her.

OK, so she has some way to go yet and to get her facts right, but when an enemy soldier starts saying 'hey, the other side has a point and we are behaving like rapacious monsters', then we need to encourage him or her. She is starting to see the light and argue for men instead of against them.

Sam, know when an enemy can stop being an enemy and become a neighbour. It is high time that self-declared feminists started to wake up to the fact that their ideology has been built on disaffection and taken over by hatred. It is a first step. This woman has taken a second step and is speaking out.

**Gunner** · 9th-March-2010

Feminism and men's right don't and should never go together. It's a complete oxymoron.. Anyone who genuinely cares about men's rights best drop the feminist label.

**Gunner** · 9th-March-2010

Quote from samofsons

she wasn't misinformed about statistics , she lied about it.
no sympathy for the devil.
what if i got up and said that 90% of all crime on earth is done by
blacks? there is no meeting in the middle point , its an outright lie.
and it is an insult to even suggest it.

i don't even know her. i don't want to get to know her.
not as an enemy or a neighbor. she is just another loud idiot
talking to a crowd of louder idiots fighting over who has been oppressed the most. i am supposed to give her credit because she woke up one day
and realized that men are human beings? "awwww thanks ,miss ,
heres another sticker to put on your car..."

fold the whole circus up into a square and swipe it like a credit card through
the ass cheeks of international womens day and all those traitors
and get wet around the world for it.

Completely agree.. Most of that article is so full of BS that reading it make me feel ill

**paul parmenter** · 9th-March-2010

I believe this woman is on her way to understanding equality - although God knows she still has a long way to go to get her facts right .

But she has absolutely no understanding of feminism. She isn't even at first base there.

To call herself a feminist while recognising how the world and her fellow females dump on men so badly, is rather like donning full Nazi uniform, complete with swastikas and a copy of Mein Kampf sticking out of her hip pocket, and then standing up and saying how she doesn't like how badly Jews are being treated. How can she be so incapable of recognising how she is embracing the very ideology that she claims to oppose? This is Orwellian doublethink in full flow.

To make any further progress from the mental roadblock she is stuck at right now, she has to throw off the blinkered mindset of feminism as decisively as that rebellious foot soldier has to throw off the uniform and all its trappings.

**Popadibs** · 9th-March-2010

Quote from paul parmenter

I believe this woman is on her way to understanding equality - although God knows she still has a long way to go to get her facts right .

But she has absolutely no understanding of feminism. She isn't even at first base there.

To call herself a feminist while recognising how the world and her fellow females dump on men so badly, is rather like donning full Nazi uniform, complete with swastikas and a copy of Mein Kampf sticking out of her hip pocket, and then standing up and saying how she doesn't like how badly Jews are being treated. How can she be so incapable of recognising how she is embracing the very ideology that she claims to oppose? This is Orwellian doublethink in full flow.

To make any further progress from the mental roadblock she is stuck at right now, she has to throw off the blinkered mindset of feminism as decisively as that rebellious foot soldier has to throw off the uniform and all its trappings.

This is probably just a ploy to allow feminists to get more deeply involved in the men's movement so that women may decide what rights men should have...

**Percy** · 9th-March-2010

Whoa there chaps.

Even the Pope was in the Hitler Youth.

Pretty well ALL females today have been raised in a feminist system, just like kiddies in Russia were indoctrinated to become Communist zealots. To say 'she lied' is a bit previous. You do not know what else she might know. I would suggest that MOST women have been told so many times that most violence is by men.

To be insensitive to the possibility that an enemy soldier is re-thinking his allegience is to miss an opportunity to save the life of your colleagues. Simply giving an analogy of a uniform weraing Nazi is insufficient as an arguement. There were many fine German soldiers in Nazi uniform. Some even tried to end the carnage by trying to assassinate Hitler. They may have been German, they may have sworn allegiance to Hitler, but they were working against him after realising the damage. Would you have encouraged them? Would you have helped them?

A wise soldier would recognise a possible ally and possible future neighbour.

We are not at war with Germany anymore. Nor with Russia.

One day we will not be at war with women.

**christianj** · 9th-March-2010

I would support it if it did not confess to being a feminist even though she eats crow and walks away feeling well, uppety. As if feminists are capable of good deeds..

I would trust feminists to grant me equality like I would trust the next door neighbour's cats to not eat after I am just a corpse..

They have been waxing lyrical about the "Men's Studies" option for some time and I would say that this can be taken as serious as our little deva wanting equal rights. That confession already states the bleedin obvious. Suddenly they're aware of the anti-male bias, surprise !!, we have been screaming it in their ears for years. I would find it impossible to work with or support any "femmie" for any reason. Way too much water under that biased bridge..

**shaazam** · 9th-March-2010

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts or blandishment for that matter or amounts of sympathy washed down with crocodile tears ahahhh

wimyn are the most adroit deceivers; they simply observe you and mirror your sentiments and delicate sensibilities

I see wimyn as having the same length and breadth of character as men but wimyn's depth of character is a chimera like a solid object drawn on a piece of paper

new age gals you can trust as far as you can hurl them

this gal you can take with a grain of salt

**Marx** · 9th-March-2010

I think this is the first overturned stone of a possible pathway in the making. We should approach with caution, certainly, but we should not simply dismiss her. She is clearly an educated woman, feminist, and can be approached with new information for her to digest. If we approach with guns blazing, it'll be no surprise at all to see her retreat - and take others who are open-minded with her.

We could lose more than gain here if we insist on shooting her in the head after she's made a clear effort to display a white-flag for us.

**Celtic Druid** · 9th-March-2010

A true feminist must lobby for men's rights.

She'll have few recruits for that idea. It's merely paying lip service.

Feminism is not about female supremacy – it's about equality.

Oh really, why hasn't that concept ever been implemented in a single country worldwide where feminists have political power?

Seeking dominion over men is, therefore, the very antithesis of feminism.

I'd say it's the very nature of feminism.

Feminism is so often grossly misinterpreted. I don't hate men, in fact, I kinda like them (well ... most of them, anyway).

It maybe misinterpreted regarding certain individuals, but as a political collective that wields power and influence, it's totally on the mark.

The operative word there, for anyone who missed it, was "choose". Feminism is all about getting to choose; defining ourselves; not being locked into antiquated gender stereotypes that ultimately subjugate men and women alike.

Feminism doesn't like any kind of choice which doesn't further their own radical ideas, or women 'choosing' to adopt a traditional role in raising children. In fact, they spend a lot of their time and energy attacking and demeaning such women, who they see as lesser than. Not to mention enacting laws (by feminists like Harriet Harman) to create disincentives for such a choice. So much for choosing!

None of that can happen, ladies – none of it – if we don't ensure men are equal. For you to be equal, so, too must they – look it up in the dictionary, if you doubt me.

Ha ha, she sounds like a naive schoolgirl, if it says so in the dictionary it must be true.

Men are statistically far more violent than women (90 per cent of all physical domestic abuse is perpetrated by men),

A pity she couldn't lobby for honest statistics also.

And let's take a moment to note that I'm only referring to Western society here – woman are still stoned to death for promiscuity in other countries (while their male counterparts go unpunished). They're still the legal possessions of their fathers and husbands; still subjected to female genital mutilation; honour killings; being burned alive over dowry issues.

Ah, import the inequalities of third-world women again.

Men are also beaten, tortured, limbs cut off, killed, executed on the false allegations of women or frivolous crimes, honour killings of men (yes), and women are the 'responsibility' of fathers and husbands, not property. You might understand how men in certain countries keep their womenfolk on a tight rein when it is they who will serve the punishment (from lashings, prison to execution) in place of the women who commit crimes. Now that's oppression.

And of course, boys are also subject to genital mutilation, as in the west, whilst girls are not. So why doesn't she mention this barbaric practice that still continues in her own country, if she's all for men's rights?

Any mention of female counterparts going largely unpunished in the west for most crimes?

How can we congratulate ourselves on our "equality" when the majority of the world still treats us like we're sub-human?

Yeah, funny how the 'sub-humans' are also evacuated from the burning building (9/11) or sinking ship (Titanic) first. And live much longer and receive the majority of health and research provision. Or receive little or no punishment for comparable crimes to men. Now, that's an elevated-human.

I don't want to spend today celebrating women

No, there's always the other 364 days of the year to do exactly that.

**Zuberi** · 9th-March-2010

Feminism: we've come a long way ... but we're not even close to there yet

Yeah, you've come along way from being neurotic cowards to welfare collecting parasites and victims mongers.

**rohara** · 9th-March-2010

Quote from Popadibs

This is probably just a ploy to allow feminists to get more deeply involved in the men's movement so that women may decide what rights men should have...

This sounds paranoid but we must be carefull when feminists chime about men's rights in this manner. They often use tactics like this to say that they are giving consessions when they realy are not.
While I think that this woman is mostly just ignorant, I also think that we have to be carefull not to allow feminists to define men's rights in the least. It is a recipie for disaster.

**Zuberi** · 9th-March-2010

Quote from rohara

This sounds paranoid but we must be carefull when feminists chime about men's rights in this manner. They often use tactics like this to say that they are giving consessions when they realy are not.
While I think that this woman is mostly just ignorant, I also think that we have to be carefull not to allow feminists to define men's rights in the least. It is a recipie for disaster.

You're right!
She is ignorant and more than likely she's nothing more than a troll. The art of war works by weakening the enemy from within.
I wouldn't give that ignorant harpy the time or day!