English men are useless – and here's the TV series to prove it

Tyrael · #1 4th-June-2008

Quote:

English men are useless – and here's the TV series to prove it

By Andy McSmith
Tuesday, 3 June 2008

If you are English, male, single and thinking of nipping across to Canada to improve your sex life – forget it. English men are not world renowned as great lovers anyway, and our reputation in North America is about to take a nosedive, courtesy of a Canadian journalist named Leah McLaren who turned up in London six years ago, as correspondent for the Toronto Globe and Mail, aged 26 and single, and thinking that she was in for some exciting sex in the city.

Her English dates turned out to be a crashing disappointment – too polite, too repressed and too misogynist to go through what a young North American would recognise as a decent courtship ritual, she claimed. She suspected that if she had ever ended up in the bedroom with any of them, she would have been invited to engage in something involving whips, chain and dildos – but that is speculation, because she never got that far.

Instead she wrote a coruscating piece entitled "The Tragic Ineptitude Of The English Male", which received vast publicity on both sides of the Atlantic. And as if she has not insulted English virility enough already, she has written a television drama, which will be shown on Canadian television as the pilot for a series, so that the whole country can laugh at English impotence.

"It is based on my experience," McLaren said yesterday. "It's the story of a Canadian woman who gets a job on a right-wing tabloid in London and ends up dating a lot of crap British men, and the comic turmoil that ensues. It's kind of like Sex in the City meets Bridget Jones."

A Canadian actress, Liane Ballaban, has been cast as the main character, and auditions are taking place this week for English supporting actors. McLaren will be in London most of July and August for the exterior locations for the film – but if you think, guys, that here is your chance to prove her wrong about English virility, forget it. She has a beau over here already. He is an ex-pat Canadian.

Warming to the theme of English inadequacy, she went on: "It's something about English culture generally – the formality and the utter perversity. It's the guy with perfect, perfect manners who then wants to go home and be whipped and chained ... The politeness is in direct proportion to the nastiness when they are drunk."

Her initial quest for excitement in London drew her to the conclusion that the English male is either a repressed homosexual, a drunkard whose alcohol intake renders him incapable, a boarding school product deprived of his mother's love too early in life, or simply a woman-hater. She wrote this for The Spectator – an interesting outlet, because the magazine's editor then was Boris Johnson. "He's very sexy, but I didn't have an affair with him," she said. "He's a very unusual character. He's not your usual upper-class Englishman, is he?"

The article provoked some ferocious counter-attacks, most notably in the Daily Mail, which asked "could her views have anything to do with her on lesbian dabblings?" – a question clearly anticipating the answer "yes". "Ah yes, the lesbian dabblings!" McLaren replied yesterday. "That was dug up from a column I wrote saying heterosexuality was overrated. Alas, no lesbian dabblings to report in real life. But please feel free to keep the false rumour circulating if you are so inclined. In my world, lesbian dabblings only enhance a woman's reputation."

Producing McLaren's comedy will involve creating a mock-up of the news room of a British right-wing tabloid newspaper. So, did she by any chance visit the Kensington offices of the Daily Mail? "I have been through the Daily Mail office because I have a very good friend who works there, Robert Hardman," she said. "But I didn't date him."

She did, however, have a date with the brother of Lord Palmer, of the biscuit family, who is now the travel editor of the Daily Mail. Mark Palmer wrote: "What she has written is such utter nonsense that I can only assume that her now widely syndicated piece of journalism ... is part of an elaborate hoax to see how much publicity you can get from peddling a cliché about Englishmen that I thought had died."

Article link.

This is a good comment by someone else:
translation: English men, tired of jumping through bullshit hoops put up only a cursory interest in dating in the hopes they might get lucky and get a piece of ass from a neurotic chick.

FFFF · #2 4th-June-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyrael

Article link.

This is a good comment by someone else:
translation: English men, tired of jumping through bullshit hoops put up only a cursory interest in dating in the hopes they might get lucky and get a piece of ass from a neurotic chick.

Its odd, i thought she was complimenting us..

Who'd want the syphilitic sperm toilet anyway?

outdoors · #3 4th-June-2008

i am sure Canukistan will grasp a series like this with open arms-i mean its only men.....again...

i would wonder what would happen if i used my experience with Canadian women and made a series.....hmmm....

themanonthestreet · #4 4th-June-2008

What else would you expect from an ameriskank..... Maybe the Englishmen were 'mean' to her because she was the epotomy of a loudmouth American (north or US) bitch?

She ever think of that?

Of course she didn't.

TMOTS

Marx · #5 5th-June-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by themanonthestreet

She ever think of that?

Of course she didn't.

From my experience with AW, it's amazing how common sense and logic fails when it comes to taking responsibility.

shaazam · #6 5th-June-2008

apparently men are not only good for paying child support, alimony, transferring assets to the succubus

but they have to perform to the jumped up sexual delusion of some precious spiteful feminist journalist supporting "lesbian dabbling"
or risk being pilloried in some rag or featured in feminist cardboard and straw men with cotton balls play

in any case Canadian men are on notice from Canuck feminists or the Canadian Human rights commission will get them

you watch what you say in Canuckistan

ask Brad Love Or Ezra Levant

**Percy** · #7 5th-June-2008

A woman scorned.

Serves her right. But hear her wail. And watch the canadian woman lap it up on the screen.

Misandric? Oh, dear. No one will criticise her for it.

Maybe we should.

Any Canadian here want to start planning a bucket of shit to pour on the program when it comes out? Build a team? I would happily join in flooding the Canadian press with equivalent scorn for a Princess who was told - with English politeness - to fuck off and play with a plastic dick, as that is all she is worth.

bobx23456 · #8 5th-June-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaazam

in any case Canadian men are on notice from Canuck feminists or the Canadian Human rights commission will get them

you watch what you say in Canuckistan

ask Brad Love Or Ezra Levant

I hadn't heard that word before, but it fits.

Blessings

Bob

outdoors · #9 5th-June-2008

Quote:

Originally Posted by Percy

A woman scorned.

Serves her right. But hear her wail. And watch the canadian woman lap it up on the screen.

Misandric? Oh, dear. No one will criticise her for it.

Maybe we should.

Any Canadian here want to start planning a bucket of shit to pour on the program when it comes out? Build a team? I would happily join in flooding the Canadian press with equivalent scorn for a Princess who was told - with English politeness - to fuck off and play with a plastic dick, as that is all she is worth.

i am Canadian and if u have any ideas on what kinda shit to dump on the canadian press i am into it-just try and get them to publish it though, would be an accomplishment in itself.

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English men are useless – and here's the TV series to prove it

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