What makes a good father?

[FFFF]

I was just wondering what makes a good dad?

Anyone any ideas?

Conception, Cradle to adulthood, us men are forever being told what we should do, how we should be by so many folk..

So, what do you folk think?

[Kim]

I don't think there's any point-by-point breakdown on what makes a good father. I've known many, many men I consider to be great fathers and they're all very different. The common factor is that they all loved their kids and did the best they could by them.

I know for me and my husband, as parents, we feel the most important things are teaching our children good values. Regardless of the mistakes we make along the way, if we can say at that end of the day that we taught our children to be good, honest human beings, that value kindness, compassion, character and integrity, then we'll have done a great job....that or else been blessed with children that were better than we deserved. Sometimes I think it's the latter.

[julie]

Gee, Drex. What is your real question? A father is a father. A mother is a mother.

I guess choices make good father. But in life we don't have ALL the choices. Sometimes we only have a few to choose from and we choose what we think is best.

[julie]

Gee, Drex. What is your real question? A father is a father. A mother is a mother.

I guess choices make good father. But in life we don't have ALL the choices. Sometimes we only have a few to choose from and we choose what we think is best.

How wrong was i. I guess a great father would choose very wisely and a good father would still overall choose wisely.

[Alexandra]

Any man can be a father...but not every man can be a daddy.

Case in point: My mother became pregnant with me out of wedlock, my father basically dumped her. He claimed he couldn't marry her because he was divorced (he was a Catholic last I knew--yet years later he remarried, go figure).

When I was three months old my mother married my stepfather, and he adopted me. I considered him as my father. He gave me his name and he helped raise me.

Now mind you I'm not saying all men are like that--dump the woman. But my birth father was like that.

At least my mother wanted me from the get-go.

[Yan Yan]

Is there a social barometer that can predict a 'good father' blowing in the wind?
Is there a ten point plan for ideal fatherhood?
Has Cosmopolitain done a quiz on it yet?

IMHO the good father is recognised as such by his own children and not by anybody else - certainly not the self-proclaimed social planners.

That's easy to say but in extreme cases it can takes as long as ten to twenty years before they hold up their hands and say, "Sorry Dad, you were right". Little comfort for the guy who kept his head when all about him were losing theirs and blaming it on him.

Times change and the sexes grow wary of each other. The young child naturally bonds to the mother. At what age does he/she respond to the benign presence of a father, if ever. Maybe what the mother says to the child about the father has more impact. I don't know of any relaible studies.
The best that father can do is to make his mark, the sooner the better, and then build on it. Whatever happens, kids do not forget the strong arms that embraced them when they were young. The mother may do her worst but as long as Dad is within earshot the kids always have somewhere else to turn.

That's what the fems are really afraid of. Unless all links are severed, the job is not complete. That may be why 'good' fathers often put all that they have into simply keeping a line open.

If any man feels that the forces of the state are just too powerful for him to manage that Domesday scenario, it would be unwise for him to become a father - good, bad or ugly.
In modern terms, fatherhood demands sacrifice and honour while motherhood is just another exercise in biologically driven self-indulgence, applauded and financed by the simple-minded.
As St. Paul said, "T'is better to marry than to burn (with passion). Let he who can make room for it, make room for it".

[FFFF]

Interesting, very interesting replies. Alexandra, what you are saying seems very much like a stereotypical case.. The type that the feminazi's use on a regular basis..

There are always two sides to every story..

Personally, I am more interested in how your birth father treated YOU than how he treated some ugly skank (most SMS's (single mother slappers) tend to have features best described as "ok for a quick shag, but not the sort of thing a gent wants to walk up the aisle..") who got herself up the duff to a loser..

As for your step father, he is not your father no matter how the state and the feminazi's may like to ignore biolgogy..

No doubt he is a really great, femifriendly sort of guy, but I guess he had to be when he took on the SMS, as a condition of getting pussy and a roof over his head provided by Biodaddy and the state..?

Perhaps HIS prescence was a very important feature of WHY your father was unable to be a father..

Feel free to correct me if you think I am wrong!

Its just that I am sure I am not the only gent rolling his eyes when I hear yet another classic feminine tale of "bio daddy bad, step daddy good"..

[FFFF]

When I was three months old my mother married my stepfather, and he adopted me. I considered him as my father. He gave me his name and he helped raise me.

Get fucked!! You were barely out of the womb when some fucking slime ball was pushing biodaddy out, what was your slapper mums top priority?

Skanks!!!

[bola]

Get fucked!! You were barely out of the womb when some fucking slime ball was pushing biodaddy out, what was your slapper mums top priority?

Skanks!!!

It interesting to observe how difficult it is for me to read this and not to cry out: hey, take it easy, bud. You're talking to a lady.

And I'm not exactly mister sensitive am I?

[Alexandra]

Get ready for a long story.

When my dad (stepfather) was 12, his parents threw him out. My uncle (mother's brother) brought him home, and he stayed with my maternal grandparents until he joined the Army. My mother was 3 at that time. Her oldest sister had just died at the age of 10. My grandparents were used to having 8 children so they figured, why not?

Fast-forward to March 1973, a month after I was born. My dad and another uncle--Mom's younger brother--happened to bump into each other at a wrestling match in Detroit, and he decided to go to my grandparents' to visit. My dad took one look at me and decided HE wanted to be my father! So two months later he and Mom got married. When I was two the adoption was final.

I've heard that not too many men are thrilled about raising another man's child. Dad didn't fit in that category. In fact, HE didn't know who HIS real father was--he was in a similar situation! I at least know who my real father is, and no, I've never met him. I did get hold of a cousin on that side through a genealogy site and we occasionally e-mail...he is in Afghanistan.

And actually, my mother wasn't that bad-looking when she was young. She was 23, going on 24 when she had me. She had been going to college and living with her parents.

[FFFF]

It interesting to observe how difficult it is for me to read this and not to cry out: hey, take it easy, bud. You're talking to a lady.

And I'm not exactly mister sensitive am I?

I have every sympathy for skank-raised kids.. i will however challenge their "misconceptions".. especially when I see the classic signs that someone has had a big woolly hat knitted by the feminazi hag-pack and magina alliance pulled over their eyes for their entire lives..

[Kim]

Times change and the sexes grow wary of each other. The young child naturally bonds to the mother. At what age does he/she respond to the benign presence of a father, if ever.

There are studies that suggest it is integral in a boy's emotional developement that, once out of infancy but as a young child, he start to bond more with his father than with his mother. I saw this happen with both my sons. It was hard to give up them being 'mommy's boy', but I was also happy to watch it happen because I knew my son's needed that strong relationship with their father.

[FFFF]

Get ready for a long story.

When my dad (stepfather) was 12, his parents threw him out. My uncle (mother's brother) brought him home, and he stayed with my maternal grandparents until he joined the Army. My mother was 3 at that time. Her oldest sister had just died at the age of 10. My grandparents were used to having 8 children so they figured, why not?

Fast-forward to March 1973, a month after I was born. My dad and another uncle--Mom's younger brother--happened to bump into each other at a wrestling match in Detroit, and he decided to go to my grandparents' to visit. My dad took one look at me and decided HE wanted to be my father! So two months later he and Mom got married. When I was two the adoption was final.

I've heard that not too many men are thrilled about raising another man's child. Dad didn't fit in that category. In fact, HE didn't know who HIS real father was--he was in a similar situation! I at least know who my real father is, and no, I've never met him. I did get hold of a cousin on that side through a genealogy site and we occasionally e-mail...he is in Afghanistan.

And actually, my mother wasn't that bad-looking when she was young. She was 23, going on 24 when she had me. She had been going to college and living with her parents.

Yes, all well and good, but you are passing judgement on a man you have never even met based on the word of a woman who is obviously nothing better than an opportunist skank..

[Alexandra]

My mother is not exactly what I'd refer to as a skank. She made a mistake. She made sure that I didn't make the same mistake she did. And at least I had a father, even if he wasn't my biological father. He'd known me since I was one month old.

My birth father wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. In fact, I didn't know about him until I was 20...when I found out Dad wasn't really my father. Dad actually CALLED him when I wasn't home and my birth father told him to leave him alone and he STILL denied me! Dad did not mind if I had a father-daughter relationship with this guy!

Months later I got the guts enough to go to my birth father's parents' house. I really did! They told me that my birth father had told them that I could have been anyone's child (I know next to zip about my mother's history there and I'm not even going to ask), but I pointed out that I had papers that he'd signed admitting to it.

From what I hear, my birth father was really honked off because apparently his current wife didn't know anything about me. Now whose fault was that?

And for all that, I'm no feminist.

[Alexandra]

Also, Drex, it seems to me you're passing judgment on a woman you've never met.

My mother was the loner type, just as I was. At least she wanted me. And despite Dad's temper (he was sick), she stuck with him because she firmly believed in her marriage vows. His first wife had served him divorce papers while he was still in the hospital--because he would be no longer able to work and support her and their five children--three of whom might not even have been his!

My parents' marriage ended when Dad died in 2000.

My parents had their knock-down drag-out fights, but they loved each other and stuck together.