How do you teach your child your morals/values?

[onegirl]

How do you teach your morals/values to your children when their mother does not share your views?

In particular, my husband and I are very promarriage and do not believe in living together before marriage or shacking up...

But stepson's mother is shacked up with married man...and stepson thinks this is fine because his mother does it.

How do you try to teach them your own stance on issues such as this without badmouthing the other parent?

My husband really struggles with what to say about things like this. And so do I.

[Percy]

It is a small and naturally occuring step from "it's fine because my mother does it " to "It's fine because I do it". Narcissism is transferable.

The measure is morality itself rather than the person who apprehends the morality.

Your 'stance' on the issue has what basis?

If the basis is 'you' than you are in no position to teach morals and values at all. Only your acceptance or not of this means or that matters to 'you' or to 'her', regardless of the dangers. But if you have a basis outside of 'you' or 'her', you have the better means.

One can use Navigation as a metaphore. One has to understand mathematics and geography. Then you can learn to navigate. And then teach it. If you 'don't like' maths and refuse to use it, you will get lost. If you take the view that 'your way' is 'OK' and 'her way' isn't, without any rationale in maths or geography, you won't be able to impart even basic nav skills.

Morality and values are waypoints on the surface of reality. One has to recognise the surface in the first place and the methods for finding your way around. Deviation from the 'path' leads you onto the rocks and shoals.

Too many people try to devise their own way points and ignore the rocks until too late, and then wonder what happened.

Last time we discussed in this vein, you chastised me saying this isn't an ethics class.

Are you creating an ethics thread here? With an intent to discuss it outside of the confines of 'you, and 'her' ?

Or are you simply looking for ammunition to use against your husband's ex?

[Marx]

How about "lead by example"?

[Percy]

How about "lead by example"?

People do. Too many are a bad example though.