fathers and sons

[43burnt]

argh
Please remove the 2 other posts. I tried posting here few times, and then realized they need moderator's approval

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Originally Posted by 43burnt

argh
Please remove the 2 other posts. I tried posting here few times, and then realized they need moderator's approval

No probs, I wondered why you kept repeating - LoL.
I've moved you out of the group now into the main group. It's only done to avoid spamming.

[ACLAF]

It's 12:30 local, and I can't sleep.

I guess it shouldn't be much of a surprise, I have a lot on my mind.

I am staring down the barrel of fatherhood. Just over 30 days now, and then my life changes forever. I've always been one to roll with the punches.

Dad had two heart attacks last year... I think the second time was the first time in my life I've ever seen my father scared of anything. I remember hearing defeat in his voice, and I couldn't help but think, that it was the worst sound in the world. Before anyone asks, he's still alive and kicking, at least for now.

Dad certainly wasn't a perfect father, I don't think such a thing exists. But he was usually there when it mattered. I can't say the same for mom. Mom always treated me like the kid who ruined her career, because I did, being first born and all.

I was born with more military blood running through my veins than anyone has a right to. Most of my childhood involved bouncing from place to place, seeing the same people for a few months, and then they'd be gone forever, as if swallowed up by the world its self.

Dad served over twenty years. I think that I built a cult of personality around him, because he was always at work. It always seemed like the uniform stood between him and his family. But it did make him into a man. He was never afraid, never cried, never doubted. He always seemed confident. I guess I grew to depend a little on that confidence.

Then his father died, and I think that confidence cracked a little.

Then about this time last year, or two years ago, we had to put down a good friend. It's a funny thing about dogs, you never really get over loosing them. Anyway, this dog was old; he'd had a very rich, and full life. After it was done, and we'd driven home, though my heart was breaking, I held myself together and my eyes stayed dry, at least until I got back to my apartment. My mother and younger brother were in tears, but me, no sir, I was going to be the tough guy. My father disappeared into the basement for a while. When he came back upstairs, what struck me the most was that his eyes were red.

Then, he had his first, and second heart attack. I visited him in hospital. He tried to be optimistic, but I could swear he sounded afraid. He made jokes, put a brave face on things. But we all knew I think. We all felt that there's deep sorrow coming.

I'm not sure when exactly it happened, but at some point, my dad stopped being dad the soldier, and became dad the dad. I don't know if that's the side of him I didn't want to see, or maybe he kept it from us. Probably a combination of both.

And now, it's going to be my turn.

A lot of people express great fear and trepidation when they're about to become parents, but I haven't felt this way. I think it's because of two things, first, that because I had what I would call a pretty good dad, I always saw myself becoming a dad one day. And second, I think that dad taught me that life is change, and that because life is change, that you shouldn't fear it, you should embrace it.

Thanks dad. Thanks to you, I am not afraid. I just hope that I'll do a good job.

[chevalier]

Hey Aclaf as a father myself at points in my life I can say that if you are worrying about becoming a dad then that usually means you probably have what it takes to be a good one. This kind of worry is how we as men prepare ourselves to do those things that are hard but the right thing to do. So I will say to you congratulations when I was allowed I absolutely loved being a dad I have never found another duty that is so easy so hard so fun and so frustrating all at the same time but all adventures that are worth doing have these elements in them. You are going to be fine congrats again.

[bachelor tom]

Good luck ACLAF, sounds like you'll be fine

btw I love your avatar, I think wolves are beautiful

[ACLAF]

I'm a dad! My daughter was born by C-Section yesterday, August 13th. It was a rough go and a long story that I don't have a lot of time for at the moment. Anyway, I just thought I'd show a sign of life. I'm still around, but obviously I'll be going through a period of adjustment.

Cheers!

[Marx]

ACLAF, all I can say is congratulations and I hope you both do the best you can, parenting is an immense joy to behold. Whatever happens, do NOT allow your parents (or more likely, parents-inlaws) to interfere. Trust me, there is room for two parents, not three.

[Timocrat]

Congratulations!

[Percy]

Congratulations ACLAF.

Give the little bundle as mush love and devotion you can. Treat each day as the last opportunity to be with her.

It may be.

[IronLady]

Many congrats, ACLAF! Hopefully she will be a Daddy's girl!

Reading the rest of this thread, I wanted to add that daughters need fathers just as much as sons do. Few people realize that, especially women/mothers.

For YEARS my older sister and I did not get along, she always seemed envious of me, and I never knew why. I found out, got some insight, not long ago.

My sister and I are 11 years apart, and she is a real man-hater. Whenever she would break up with yet another husband, she used to call my Dad and scream, "Its YOUR fault I can't keep a man!" None of us ever knew why she said that.

Well, when she was little, Dad worked the 4-12 midnight shift and rarely saw her or spent time with her. By the time I was born, he was on the 7AM-3PM and so, spent lots of time with me (since I got home from school at 3:30 PM).

I had no idea that whenever I spoke of all the fun Dad and I had (playing football, baseball, going fishing, going to ball games, etc)., it was eating her up inside because she envied me for the time I had with him that she did not.

People don't realize it, but children of BOTH genders need their Dads. I never fully realized it until I discovered this about my older sister. Its proof that children need BOTH parents of BOTH genders.

[Marx]

Well said Annette... spot on.

[ACLAF]

Originally Posted by Annette1313

Many congrats, ACLAF! Hopefully she will be a Daddy's girl!

Thanks. Much to AFN's chagrin, she already is. And thanks to everyone else who sent their congrats.

Originally Posted by Annette1313

People don't realize it, but children of BOTH genders need their Dads. I never fully realized it until I discovered this about my older sister. Its proof that children need BOTH parents of BOTH genders.

Absolutely.

Society likes to forget about dad, society wants to see him as disposable. But when mom is tired, and even when she isn't, dad changes diapers, dad lets her suck on his fingers till she falls asleep, dad sings to her, kisses her, loves her.

Well, I do anyway...

Every time the femcunts try to push me away, they only succeed in making me that much more important.