Dads cry out for help

[Feckless]

Dads cry out for help
By PENNY BAXTER
15apr02


At least one man is on the verge of suicide every week in the Territory because of family law, a men's lobby group has claimed.
Founder of the Territory chapter of the Lone Fathers Association, Robert Kennedy, said that at least one out of the three to four men who contact him each week were suicidal.
He said this was because men were disadvantaged in every aspect of the family law system.
"They become so agitated and distraught that they say things like they are going to 'pop themselves'," he said.
"Or I might get a call from a distressed mother, former wife or sister who is worried the man is so depressed he will commit suicide."
Mr Kennedy believes the Territory's high rate of male suicide is partially because of the frustration over divorce and family separation.
"I had one (call) the other week, where the man was crying over not being able to see his baby and a mother who was worried about her son's health," he said.
Australian Bureau of Statistics figures show that about 40 Territorians committed suicide in 2000 at a rate of 20.1 deaths per 100,000 people.
The Territory's suicide rate was almost double the rate in New South Wales (11), Victoria (10.5), Tasmania (11.4) and the Australian Capital Territory (8.9).
In Australia, there are three male suicides to every one female suicide death.
Mr Kennedy said not enough was being done to help men who were frustrated and depressed after being put through the family law system.
He called for more support services for men who suffered grief and trauma during divorce.
He also called for a male crisis centre and a refuge centre.
Mr Kennedy said he believed men were not getting the same access to family law services as women, nor the same treatment. He said he dealt with 150 new cases of men who felt disadvantaged by the family law system in the NT each year.
The men felt they were not being given a "fair go" in every aspect of the system including custody, child support, contact and property redistribution, he added.
Mr Kennedy said in 90 per cent of divorces, full custody of the children was given to the mother.
He said because the mother had the children, the property was distributed to favour the woman and she determined contact with the father.
The Lone Fathers Association was set up in the 1970s in a bid to address a perceived imbalance of rights between men and women.
Mr Kennedy said the contract of marriage should be dealt with in the same way as any other legal contract of partnership -- equal share to equal partners. "We have to take the gender out of family law administration," Mr Kennedy said. "The government should not favour one citizen over another."
He stressed that the association was not against women, but the power the woman was given over the family through default.
"We recognise that women have the primary nurturing role to a certain age, but fathers are more significant during the teenage years," Mr Kennedy said.
"But the role of a father has to be recognised as important."
Mr Kennedy said the tradition of men as the food gatherers and the mothers as the nurturers was slowly being eroded.
"In my era, my father was out working all day while the mother and grandmother looked after me," he said.
"But that changed in the 70s when unemployment benefits came in and more fathers were staying at home and women went to work."
Mr Kennedy said the association believed joint parenting was crucial for the child's welfare.
"The kids need both parents," he said.
"You can't cut a child in two.
"The child should spend near equal time with both parents."

Dads cry out for help

[Marx]

Moved to Father's Forum

[Stan]

Besides everything else, a HUGE part of the problem is that a verdict is rendered on men without a hearing or evidence or anything else.

We start out guilty. As in the shout at your spouse / lose your house article.

We are GUILTY starting out and then somehow have to prove that we are innocent of what a female claimed in a 30 second phone call.

How do you do that exactly?

[Percy]

NOTHING has changed since 2002. No changes are likely.