Advice for divorced fathers

[pjanus]

I wonder how many divorced fathers fall into this category?


A chance to shine

Divorce need not destroy a father’s relationship with his children: in fact, says a new book, it can make it better. The author tells our correspondent how

Carol Midgley


It can’t be much fun being a divorced father these days. The media paints you either as a forlorn weekend dad sitting in McDonald’s watching his children push fries around a plastic tray or a lunatic dangling from a council building in a Batman suit.

Meanwhile you may have had your house and money snaffled by your ball-breaking ex-wife, had tortured fights over access and your relationship with your kids is being played out in a succession of dreary municipal swing parks.
This, at least, is the popular view. But what if it doesn’t have to be like that? What if, in many, many cases, it actually isn’tlike that and an unspoken truth is that sometimes divorced fathers have a richer, more engaged relationship with their children than they would if they were living with them? This might sound at best naively optimistic; at worst, heresy. Nobody, obviously, would recommend being separated from one’s children. But perhaps the bread-winner husband who is lucky if he gets home in time to read his kids a bedtime story could ask himself this. Does he know all of his children’s shoe sizes down to the last half fitting? Is he familiar with all their teachers’ names? Their best friends’ home phone numbers? How exactly they like their mashed potato? Or are these details that he tends to leave to his wife because he can?

Simon Baker, 39, is a divorced father of five-year-old twins who wants to accentuate the positives that can come from an undesirable situation. His mission is to help other separated fathers to make the most of an arrangement that is becoming increasingly commonplace as 170,000 decree absolutes pass through the courts each year. Divorce, he says, can be a devastating experience that leaves both parties emotionally and physically drained. But when it is over, if handled correctly, it is a chance for the father to bond with his children at a new and more positive level. It is, he says, their “time to shine”.

“When my children are with me the time I have with them is so precious that I focus totally on them. The phone is turned off and I’m not working,” he says. “I’m not loading the dishwasher while I’m talking to them. They are getting 100 per cent attention.” His arrangement is that the children stay with him every other weekend (Friday to Monday) and one or two nights during the week.

It hasn’t always been this straightforward. For several months his life was gruelling as he had to make 600-mile weekend round trips to see his son and daughter, Gabriel and Delphi, then aged 2, after his ex-wife decided to move from Fulham, West London, to Cornwall. He would have to stay in B&Bs with them and eventually became used to being “combat prepared” – with spare knickers and pants, endless felt tip pens and books and a microwave oven in the back of his car. The split was initially fraught, and since his ex-wife would not bring the twins to London, all the travelling was down to him. Added to this he had to hold down his full-time job as a quality and environmental auditor while coping with the separation from his children.

The hardest part was Sunday evenings at 7pm, says Baker, when he was facing a 300-mile drive back to London after suffering the misery of handing back the children. “Then I had to go in and function at work, not just stare at the computer screen. I had to compartmentalise my life.” Before long, Baker realised that if he was going to have any kind of quality relationship with his children he would have to move to Cornwall to be near them. When he handed in his notice at work in London, by a stroke of good fortune they agreed to let him work as a subcontractor, which he does. So now he lives in Cornwall with his new partner, Alley Einstein, a health journalist and life coach, who has co-authored a book with him entitled How to be a Great Divorced Dad.

It is a practical book, packed with bullet points and tips about making a suitable home for a child that might seem obvious to a woman but not necessarily to a man. Such as that a divorced father will definitely need a washing machine and dryer (eg, “wash daily when the children are with you as dirty clothes, especially during toilet training, will smell, and you need to get them clean fast”), that adult hairbrushes can be too harsh for kids and the need to make the rooms welcoming with comfy seats and bright colour schemes.

It also acknowledges that many divorced fathers may be in financial straits and live in homes with only one bedroom so it gives advice on how the purchase of fold-down beds and dedicated drawers can avoid the children ever feeling that they are getting in the way. There are recipes, tips on how to entertain the children without becoming a one-dimensional “fun-time” father and the absolute necessity of buying iron-on name tags for their school uniforms.
Any divorced father will know that time with the kids will throw up challenges that he never countenanced before. A child announcing at 9pm that he needs a certain item for school the next day; a difficult question about the break-up; an outbreak of nits. But these are the means by which he becomes involved in every aspect of the child’s life. The book provides guidance for bonding emotionally with your child, which can initially be awkward after a short period of separation. Abrupt and unsettling language must be avoided (“Mum and Dad are getting divorced because they don’t love each other any more”) as must any adverse impression that Mum and Dad might get back together (children, says Baker, will at first look for signs of possible reconciliation).

Baker recommends that however friendly or unfriendly your relationship with your ex-wife might be, always try to keep it businesslike. “Approach them as you would someone in business,” he says. “Deal with the subject and have an agenda.” But one of the key pieces of advice, says Baker, is that divorced men must also take care of their own health, resist the tempation to drink too much when they are lonely without the children, and eat well. “It is very easy to slip into TV dinners when you are on your own,” he says. “But whatever you might feel like, a Pot Noodle and a can of lager is not a nutritional meal.”

The keys to being a good divorced father are always planning ahead, being there for your children, being consistent and, most crucially, putting them first. The rewards, says Baker, can be huge. Some children of divorced dads, he says, can have a far more involved relationship with their fathers. “You take part in things you never would have before . . . more than if you were getting home from work, reading them a story and getting them to sleep.” The way that it has worked with the shared residency is that he tends to be the one in charge of cutting their nails and hair and getting their feet measured. He packs their school lunches, makes sure that their uniforms are ready and knows about all their teachers.

Baker’s love for his childrenis obvious. As a married man he was, already, a very hands-on dad but for fathers who don’t naturally fall into that role, being the sole carer can be an awakening. He is saddened by the statistic that 20 per cent of divorced fathers lose contact with their children but admits that the prospect of having his children “drip-fed to me” and constantly having to give them back seemed too painful to bear at one stage. “I wonder whether some of that 20 per cent have done it almost for the sake of their mental health,” he says.

But if you make an effort to throw yourself into the role it will become easier. “If you are going to be a great divorced dad you have to look on this next chapter of your life as the chance to create a new life, a new home, a positive, healthy relationship with your children . . .” It is important, he says, for men not to become embarrassed about things, like taking their daughter to the toilet (his book reminds fathers that girls wipe from front to back) and that in public they will have to take a very young girl into the men’s toilets. “You are going to have to stand in shops and get excited over which Little Pony is better than the other. It’s all completely natural.” Men must also not be embarrassed about asking questions, he says. In a difficult situation they might be unwilling to ask their ex-partner something to avoid looking silly or as if they are not in control. “But there is no such thing as a stupid question,” he says. “You need to ensure that you are on the right track.”

There are still obstacles. Persuading the education and health authorities to post letters to two homes, not just the mother’s, can be difficult. Parents do not always remember to pass messages on to each other. (“It’s really important to know, for instance, when it’s a nonschool uniform day. It’s awful when you turn up at school and [your kids] are the only ones in uniform”). But he has achieved his goal of being a permanent and loving presence in his children’s lives. “It has made my relationship with my children more intense – in a good way,” he says. Out of the black cloud of divorce, that is not a bad silver lining.

— How to be a Great Divorced Dad, Foulsham, £9.99

Top tips for divorced dads

1 Be committed to being a great divorced dad. If necessary, and if the children are old enough, make and sign a divorced dad contract with them laying out your mutual responsibilities. This way, they will feel secure about what to expect in what will be a big change for everyone.

2 Identify your strengths and weaknesses and work on the weaknesses.

3 Put your children first all the time. Make sure they know the divorce was not their fault and that you are a team.

4 Make the time you spend with your children quality time, and establish routines and household rules.

5 No matter what, try to respect your ex-wife even if she does not respect you. Your children will appreciate it, because she is still their mother. The sooner you both learn mutual respect, the faster you’ll recover from the divorce and the better it will be for the children.

6 Never be frightened of “failing” or asking for help. There are hundreds of thousands of divorced dads out there all feeling the same as you. Parenting is something we all learn as we go along.

7 Expect the unexpected.

8 Look after yourself.

9 Be aware that divorce affects people differently. The woman you married is now not the woman you are divorcing, so do not rise to the bait if she tries to cause problems postdivorce and never argue with her in front of the children. Nor must you deliberately upset her. Keep it civil and simple.

10 Love your children and be there for them.


Top tips on making a new home for your children

1 Within your budget, buy or rent a property with space to give the children a sense of belonging and security.

2 Negotiate with your ex to split the children’s toys, furniture and other items so some of their favourites are at Mum’s house and some at Dad’s house.

3 Young children (under the age of 5) need and like consistency so if possible keep consistency with the family home – for example, buy the same night light that Mum has taken to their new home for them.

4 Give older children a budget to decorate their room, or to buy new toiletries to stay at your house. Within reason, let them help to create their new second home.

5 Your children’s involvement is crucial, so ensure that you ask for their input. They should know this is their other home.

6 Allow them to leave things at your house. It is their way of saying: “I am your child and I belong here too.”

7 Ensure that your house is child-safe.

8 Don’t let a sense of guilt lead you to spoil the children with material possessions.

9 Regularly use a checklist for items you need to replace or add as the children grow.

10 Respect older children’s privacy.

11 Ensure that your home is decorated in a way that makes the children feel that they belong.

12 Keep a photo of your ex in an album so the children can see it if they wish to.


Can Mum see my room?
No matter what age, children will be proud of special things and this includes their rooms. When your children start living between two homes they may ask if their mum can see their room or something else in your home.

This is a question that needs to be handled carefully. You may wish to protect your privacy if it has been a particularly acrimonious split. However, if you get on with your ex and you can be sure that if she visits the house she won’t criticise, then consider letting her visit to grant the child’s request.

If there is still acrimony between you and your ex-wife consider taking some photographs of your child in their room that they can show their mum and friends. This shows your child that you have a level of flexibility and put their needs first. But make sure that your ex understands that the photos have been taken for the child’s benefit or she might mistake the gesture as you showing off.

If your ex asks to see your home and the children’s room and you are having difficulties with her, it might be best not to allow her in. Tell her that you will respect her privacy and that she must respect yours. The reason for this is that she is likely to find fault with your home. If it comes up in legal letters, offer a third party to view the property, which will protect your privacy. If it is in the court orders that she can inspect your home, you could and should request a reciprocal arrangement. Discuss this with your lawyer and again consider a third-party presence.




Stop thinking of yourselves!! Children need their father and mother. They dont just need them for their physical, financial, emotional and social needs but most important of all their spiritual needs. The father's role is to lead the family in the Way of the Lord. The sad thing is that most fathers dont and most are not even around. In fact the new woman even says that she can have a child without a man (unknown sperm donor) and worst still is that they think they can bring up a child in a same sex relationship!!! What sort of world are we leaving our children.? The only way that really works is for the father and mother in a monogamous relationship bringing up the children in a loving stable family. l dont believe any thing less than that will bring about children who wll grow up to be responsible adults useful to society. Call me old fashion if you like but you cannot change God's intention and purpose for the human race.

Virginia, brisbane, Australia

For the MAJORITY being a divorced father is never fun, more like heartache and problems. Simon offers some practical advice, which is fine. Trying to keep things business like with the Ex for the MAJORITY it is more like the battle of the roses. As a divorced father of 3, I still would not wish it on my worst enemy. It was through sheer effort, patience and love that I still have a strong loving relationship with my 3 now adult children. It was not easy, but behaving like a responsible parent, understanding that the children are hurt, their rebellion may be part of those hurt helps. Reinforcing your love even when its thrown back in your face and continuing to make contact even if its a postcard works its way through in the end. My daughter didn’t speak to me for 1 year, now we’re the best of friends. For me a solid relationship with ones children is based on love, understanding and behaving like a responsible parent is essential, whether one is married, single or divorced.

Mark Harris, Swansea, Wales

I really wish my daughter's father was just as interested. I agree that where possible, both parents should have time with the children, I have tried hard to encourage his involvement, but even when he lived just around the corner, he really wasn't interested. To her it looks great, she could go and visit just when she wanted and he was all smiles for her. But she couldn't stay unless it was pre-arranged and not too frequently either! I did offer to let her live with him some days of the week, he had the room, but he didn't want to know.

I am so glad that there are many men out there who actually want to be part of their children's lives. Articles that let them know things they may not want to ask their ex's is great and the children must benefit enormously.

KAS, Bedford, UK

Unfortunately there are very few lucky children like the ones in this article. The government now admit that there are three million children, not living with both biological parents and over a million having no contact at all with their non resident parent.

In my support work with the Child and Parent Alliance, the numbers of fathers desperate for help reflects this situation.
Each day I have increased numbers asking how they can combat the minefield of the family court system directed by uncaring professionals and unsympathetic judges working in secrecy.

Only the adoption of the legal status of shared parenting will help reduce the misery of children trapped in the battles over the resident parent's refusal to allow unrestricted contact.

Chris Hawkins, Bristol, England

Definitely some good advice and in parts it mirrors my own experience with my children. Certainly the rule about focusing entirely on the children when they are with you is an important one and something I try to follow, having regular activities like riding lessons or clubs to attend is also an important part of contact time with my children and gives them something to look forward to especially as they hit those teenage years and have other distractions. As I prepare the packing list for next weeks holiday in the Dordogne I wish I could remember their shoe size to see if last years flip flops will still fit, I expect the answer will be no.

R Smith, Northampton, UK

Much to my surprise, my post divorce life has quickly brought me a better quality of life and greater prosperity.

However, this has brought a corresponding amount of resentment from my ex and I certainly don't have my finger on the family pulse. I really don't see how divorce can make you a better father.

Mark Laycock, Bradford,

Divorce is good for fathers. It relieves them of the toil of parenting, the dentist, the shoeshops, appointments at the doctor, bed wetting, childhood anxieties. It leaves them free to think, write and earn money which may be spent on the children. Divorce is not good for families or mothers.

JFLEMING, Whittlesey, Cambs, UK

This article has touched me to the core.
I know the pain and anguish of 7.00 pm on Sunday evening, the dropping off at the airport for a family holiday that you will not be part of, the awkward moment at school assembly when your child doesn't know which parent to run to.
It probably was a major contributory factor in a catastrophic breakdown for me which has resulted in a protracted physical absence from my children for me and changed my life beyond recognition.
I respect Families Need Fathers because they have at least highlighted this problem. Family Law needs to be reformed so that the presumption of parental equality is stated to be equal first with that of the best interests of the child.
Simon should be invited by the Law Commission to help reform The Children Act so that frameworks such as he has succeeded in creating can be more the norm. The 'popular view' is not entirely wrong. Believe me.

Mchael, Wuhan, P R China

All of this presumes that one has some access to his children.

In my case, the Norwegian mother of my son denied me this access. I pursued the matter through the Norwegian legal system to the very highest level. Nothing happened - just some lawyers made a lot of money out of me.

I did not have access to him between the ages of 4 and 15. By the time he was 15, he had no memories of me and treated me as a total stranger. Now, he is 16 and never contacts me or responds to my messages.

I have a new family and 2 lovely young daughters. If I had not tried to continue with life, I would have become possibly a street-person by now.

Alfred, Ryde, Isle of Wight, UK

I'm a psychiatrist and twice divorced against my wishes father of now four young successful adult children. As divorce goes, mine were amicably settled out of court with both sides very satisfied with the financial and custody arrangements. Nevertheless the children and I suffered the loss that emotional magical connection with happens with a loving father involved in their daily lives in an intact marriage. This article offers some sound practical advice but its underlying premise divorce "can make (the father child relationship) better" is utter nonsense.

Mark Klein, M.D., Oakland, California

[Yan Yan]

I suspect you're being a tiny bit ironic here pjanus.

Why? Because the article is a wonderful example of revisionist junk journalism.

But I'd walk a few blocks with the last guy:

I'm a psychiatrist and twice divorced against my wishes father of now four young successful adult children. As divorce goes, mine were amicably settled out of court with both sides very satisfied with the financial and custody arrangements. Nevertheless the children and I suffered the loss that emotional magical connection with happens with a loving father involved in their daily lives in an intact marriage. This article offers some sound practical advice but its underlying premise divorce "can make (the father child relationship) better" is utter nonsense.
Mark Klein, M.D., Oakland, California

Agreed, but I'd first ask him why he needs to say "I'm a psychiatrist" to validate his response. We already know the answer - who is going to listen to a mere 'father'? It's just not enough.

People like Ms Carol, that write this tasteless fastfood for the brain as if they were flipping psychological burgers, do us no service.
Tips for divorced dads is a gross insult to honourable men. The implication is that we all must accept the great invulnerable divorce industry as a 'universal given' and get along with it as best we can - with helpful hints from the likes of the arrogant and insular Ms clever-clever Carol.

Yep! That's what we've we've all been waiting for - new and better ways to become enslaved to the Marxist-Feminist State.
Tell us more. We're stupid don'tcher know. We really believe it.
After all, our natural proclivity is to be rapists and child molesters that munch burgers and watch sport. Where would we be if didn't have half-educated journalists to teach us how to become real men?

[Billy]

I agree for a change

I tire quickly of women trying to tell men how to be men and how to be Fathers and now, that divorced Fathers seperated from their children can't be that bad. Here's a bandaid!

When are they going to start telling other women how to be Real Moms and imply that maybe they aren't doing a good job and when will they start telling women they need to shape up and learn to treat their husbands with respect? Never!

[chevalier]

I get so tired of women saying the father has no interest in the children. How the fuck does she know? No it couldn't be that it is so fucking painful to be seperated from them that it is just intolerable. Now I personally think that as men we should buck up and do what we need to do for our kids. But I certainly can understand that the pain can be overwhelming and make a man irrational but does that mean he doesn't care? I don't think so.

[pjanus]

[quote=Yan Yan;35514]I suspect you're being a tiny bit ironic here pjanus.



You read me like a book


I fucking hate these people. Good post by the way.

[Male-Rights-Network]

Typical female journalist, who has everything - job, education, parental rights - handed to them on a plate by Government and the UN, yet feels she can pontificate from afar on what "divorced Dad's can do"

"Top tips for divorced dads"

Makes my blood boil.

[FFFF]

"Pearls before Swine.."

A series of Translated Intellectual Masturbation Papers from the DTB Institute..

Print off and place in your nearest court lavatories for use by the "Oliver Twists" sent to court by the established femistate fathers groups ("please judgey babes, can I see more of my kids?")

Wipe carefully.. Reports from the Drex Talks Bollocks institute can dirty your arse more than clean it..!

Edited and translated "off the wrist" into Drexian schizospeak from the original Femi-Orwellian.

By Penelope Piste-Orf..

(Drex's Aristocratic Right Hand midnight skiing companion..)

Originally Posted by pjanus

I wonder how many legally-raped fathers fall into this trap?

A chance to sell mangina shite..

State-sponsored family destruction need not destroy a manslave's financial and emotional pain with the states human property that he fired out of his spudgun into an ungreatful bag of lard, in fact, says a new book, it can make it much bigger! The mangina opportunist tells our co-conspirator how..

Fanny Crabflange

It's great fun being a servile dad these days. You can get a decent meal when you take your kids to Ronald the Clowns chlorestrol den and you can hang loose with the wedding tackle off buckhouse for the worlds media..

But, thats before your beloved in the same dads group predictably turns on you and states that you watch porn and you cant form an answer to that because Mangina O Conman is scared of upsetting the feminors..!

An answer like "yes, I am a big wanker!! Now bend over and offer me a big target other than your mouth!" Is the best and most gentlemanly response!

Cost:-

Collecting louse infested kids from cabbage mums home as part of a 150 mile weekend contact session.. £30

Crappy meals and Greasy Mac,.. £15

Trip to London.. £100

Pair of Batman PJ's that cant contain the beef bassoon.. 69p from aldi..

Stack of wank mags in the shed and a box of "Mansize" 12" wipes.. £100

Telling a femi-Orwellian to proffer the chocolate starfish.. "Priceless"!


Meanwhile you may have finally got rid of that dull, crappy semi, the hamster wheel neighbours and the pastel decor and shelves full of inane cheap tatty ornaments that made you feel like you were nothing more than a tiresome guest in some flange pit..

Whatever it cost to get rid of the frigid sow and the spoilt, snotty little oinks you hardly recognise who stick jammy doggers into the VCR groove, wipe snot and puke all over the jazz mags you thought you had safely stashed under the sofa for the midnight wanking sessions, and crayon all over the freshly painted Magnoliex walls, was money well lost! And, nothing like popping down to the local park with your kids, what a great excuse to check out all the muffin-bellied slapper mums on the swings, legs akimbo, shreiking in glee as the chains take the strain and the crossbar creaks under the wieght.. Their gaping cameltoes eating 10 quids worth of their £9.99 thongs!!

This, at least, is the Drexian view. But what if it doesn’t have to be like that? What if, in many, many cases, it actually isn’t like that and the femi-orwellian is that sometimes greatful dadslaves have much more stress than even that? That they are forced into pityful begging and pandering to the spoilt little oinksters and slapper mum even more than when they were when helplessly watching cabbage mum alternately beat and indulge them?

This might sound at worst, terrifying; at best, worrying. Nobody, obviously, would recommend returning to the nagging wife, semi-life in the suburbs. But perhaps the cash strapped maritally enslaved XY who is lucky if he gets a chance for a works training course 100 miles away and a chance for some fresh fanny, could ask himself this. "What the fuck is the point of being a dad if all the feminors ever consider as of value is the feminised trivial crap that does not keep the home safe, peedo creeps at bay or teach the little over-indulged darlings what they really need to learn before they hit the cruel world head-on overnight at 18 and become wage slaves for nanny state?"

"Does he need to know all of the feminors children’s shoe sizes down to the last half fitting? Is he familiar with all the femistate brainwashers names? The local peedo's home phone number? How to get the spoilt little lazy fat oinks to eat anything other than processed crap? Or are these details that he tends to leave to the lazy sow because she is best at fucking up the states property ready for the childrens homes? "

Yes, thats right, because the brainless, useless sow cant do anything else much of use, so may as well get it to do the little it can! (ERR!!, but she needs an army of femistate apologist handwringer retard support workers just to help her to put her knickers on!)

Simple Siphon, mental age 9, is an femistate-freindly dronedad of five-year-old twins who believes he has turned dogshit into diamonds.

His mission is to help spread the femi-orwellian alchemy while taking his medication and following the "Drones Direct" script written by approved Feminors and select mangina poodles.. To prove the effectiveness of the State Family Destruction policy for getting a man's macho ego down to manageable infantilised size, target, to make drones as compliant to the femistate as a 9 year old boy would be.. Reverse all effects of testosterone..

Family Rationalisation (the approved feminor term) he says, can be hard for those who have not yet had the pre-frontal lobotomy, chemical castrations and the medications to accept the new unreality. But when it is over, if handled correctly, it is a chance for the drone to accept his role serving the states property with glee..

It is, he says with obvious pride, their "Chance to enjoy eating big mars bars from the ring of the chocolate goddess"..

"When the feminors property are with me, the time I have with them is so precious that I focus totally on duties for the femistate. The nagport is turned off and I’m not functioning" he says.

Cost of a weekends lost overtime £500...

Cost of the contract failure.. 25 redundant men...

Cost of annoying your kids by harrassing them when they are playing with their pencils... many years of later therapy!

"I cant multitask, and cant get a useful haddock, so therefore my house is a mess and I dont do the washing up" His penalty to the femistate is that the children stay with him every other weekend (Friday to Monday) and one or two nights during the week. Plus CSA beatings.

It hasn’t always been this pathetic. For several months he enjoyed a good road trip and some greasy macs and the odd streetwalker and line of nose candy on his 600-mile weekend round trips to see his son and daughter, spoilt XYbrat and spoilt XXbrat, then aged 2, after his previous owner decided she was sick of flacid poodle cock... He choose to stay in B&Bs with manwhores and eventually became used to being "combat prepared" – with durex, stockings and womens clothing in case he fancied a "night of alternative pleasures on the heath"..

He felt endless tips, penis's and bought books on "how to microwave your manhood down to acceptable standards".. which he read with his nylon "pulling gear" on in the back of his car while waiting for clients.

The split was initially fraught, since his previous owner was having too good a time with the kids new peedo step daddy, a social worker and his fat wallet earned mostly by uploading pics of abused kids to the "Wonderland" peado web site frequented by other regular single mother preying deviants with access to damaged kids.. She would not bring the twins to London, all the grovelling was down to him. Added to this he had to hold down his full-time job as a state sector parasite mandrone while trying hard to be a proper feminised daddrone..

Before long, Syphon realised that he was going to have to tongue the starfish more enthusiastically if he wanted to feel like a proper feminor poodle!

So now he serves the femistate in Cornwall under the charge of his new owner, Anally Ironclit, an Elf Station attendant and part time coach driver, who has J Arthured a book off with him entitled "How to be an Infantilised Mangina Toe-Toucher.."

It is a complete bollocks book, packed with bullshit for cretins, to make men feel like inadequate pieces of filth if they dont wash thier undies 4 times daily and get their bums waxed..

Such as that proper feminor dronedads will definitely need to pander and indulge the oinks as much as, if not ten times more, than slapper mum..

It also states that many dronedads may be suitable humiliated in homes with only one bedroom so it gives advice on how to max the humiliation and accept the financial punishments and advises increasing debt levels by spending non-existant money (subbed perhaps by the new owner, childless barren freak who wants to have her share in raising state property..) and the absolute necessity of subbing slapper mum who cant be arsed buying iron-on name tags for their school uniforms.

Any slacking dronedad will know that time with the kids will make him wanna throw up his hands and wonder why he bothers..

His kids will act dumb, take no responsibilty for themselves, and completely piss him off with idiotic questions.. He must at all times remember he is there to serve and that only the feminors and the state are allowed to tell the kids what to do, drone dad just has to do what the feminors tell him, and if the kids go off the rails later, well, there is a good demand in the adoption trade from those lovely gays and lesbians..

But, never consider what the children SAY they really want, because they probably will counter the states firm FAMILY RATIONALISATION policy..

Getting back with the other parent is the worst thing a dronedad can do, because that severly would undermine the femistates efforts to control childhood and parenting..

The keys to being a good drone dad are always pissing against the wind, being a wimp, being consistently weak and, most crucially, being completely servile to the needs of the spoilt brats, who can have anything they want, other than the disgusting idea that they want to live with both their natural parents!!.

The rewards, says Syphon, IQ 39, can be huge. Some children of divorced dads, he says, can have a far more involved relationship with their fathers. (Than a drunken camel has with a masturbating hippo, say)..

"You take part in things you never would have before . . . more than if you were getting home from work, reading them a story and getting them to sleep."

Errr??? WTF? You can do all you want with them when with the mother of your kids! If only a man was able to exert his natural authority then whats the problem??

Sorry, even the Drexian correspondant cant see why the fucking hell this mangina is prattling on about shared residence when he obviously has managed to become the dominant femi-orwellian state-approved feature in his kids lives, taking over all the tarts roles and being effectively male head of the feminised new femi-state rationalised families..

Yet, manginas like this wont even consider that for anyone who has not emasculated themselves to become more feminine that their ex's..!!

Fuck off manginas! eat poodle shit!

This is not a book for ordinary divorced dads, its a load of fucking feminorwellian statist tripe for any man who wants to take on the full feminisation proccess and "out-estrogen" their ex's..

If thats your bag, then go Grrll!!

Top tips for divorced dads

Feminorwellian rule1 Be committed to being a great divorced dad. If necessary, and if the children are old enough, make and sign a divorced dad contract with them laying out your mutual responsibilities. This way, they will feel secure about what to expect in what will be a big change for everyone.

Drexian translation.. The femistate seeks to bind everything in law, laws are created for servile dronedads to apply in the raising of human state property. These are not binding for the state, or human state property, but they are for dronedads.. Be committed to doing what the femistate tells you dronedads.. Family rationalisation is essential work and must be managed by all adults..


2 Identify your strengths and weaknesses and work on the weaknesses.

D You are weak. Obey the femistate.. Improve your starfish lapping skills..

3 Put your children first all the time. Make sure they know the divorce was not their fault and that you are a team.

D. State human property Is superior to parents, as parents are inferior to the state meta-parent.. The divorce happened because slapper mum found she had the power when she had kids, dont let the facts affect your duty as a drone to praise the slapper..


4 Make the time you spend with your children quality time, and establish routines and household rules.

D. Refer to the femistate book of definitions as to what these definitions and rules should be.. A good rule of thumb being, if it costs drones money, raises revenue for the femistate, and has the smiley face of Big Nanny on it, its probably approved..


5 No matter what, try to respect your ex-wife even if she does not respect you. Your children will appreciate it, because she is still their mother. The sooner you both learn mutual respect, the faster you’ll recover from the divorce and the better it will be for the children.

D. The female is always correct.. The children will always side with mum because she is not a drone and can do what she wants..


6 Never be frightened of "failing" or asking for help. There are hundreds of thousands of divorced dads out there all feeling the same as you. Parenting is something we all learn as we go along.

D. Refer to "Drones Direct" femistate approved dronedad training programs..


7 Expect the unexpected.

D. Keep your Y fronts on backwards for ease of entry of feminor strap-ons..


8 Look after yourself.

D. Be a healthy dronedad. The slapper females cant do their old jobs properly anymore! The state needs healthy manginas!


9 Be aware that divorce affects people differently. The woman you married is now not the woman you are divorcing, so do not rise to the bait if she tries to cause problems postdivorce and never argue with her in front of the children. Nor must you deliberately upset her. Keep it civil and simple.

D. Females re-invent themselves at the drop of a hat. She is, however, superior to her ex drone at all times regardless.. Only the femistate can trump her claims.. Remember, she has outgrown you, you have been reduced to the mental attitude of a 9 year old, the maximum male age a slapper needs to deal with..


10 Love your children and be there for them.

D. Only drone dads can do this. Other dads are patriarchal oppressors..


Can Mum see my room?

No matter what age, children will be proud of special things and this includes their rooms. When your children start living between two homes they may ask if their mum can see their room or something else in your home.
This is a question that needs to be handled carefully. You may wish to protect your privacy if it has been a particularly acrimonious split. However, if you get on with your ex and you can be sure that if she visits the house she won’t criticise, then consider letting her visit to grant the child’s request.
If there is still acrimony between you and your ex-wife consider taking some photographs of your child in their room that they can show their mum and friends. This shows your child that you have a level of flexibility and put their needs first. But make sure that your ex understands that the photos have been taken for the child’s benefit or she might mistake the gesture as you showing off.
If your ex asks to see your home and the children’s room and you are having difficulties with her, it might be best not to allow her in. Tell her that you will respect her privacy and that she must respect yours. The reason for this is that she is likely to find fault with your home. If it comes up in legal letters, offer a third party to view the property, which will protect your privacy. If it is in the court orders that she can inspect your home, you could and should request a reciprocal arrangement. Discuss this with your lawyer and again consider a third-party presence.

D. Do it drones! Do your duty to the feminine state mother goddesses! Obey the state! Obey the law! Keep up the Family Rationalisation magic!! Respect the power of the slapper ex to invade your home!!


Comments from the great unwashed...

(Edited to maximise the stupidity..)

Carry on playing with yourselves!! Brats need their baseball caps and Burberry! They dont just need them for their physical, financial, emotional and social needs but most important of all their spiritual needs. The Dronedads role is to lead the family in the Way of the Chav. The sad thing is that most Dronedads dont and most are not even around. In fact the new haddock even says that she can have a brat without getting a cheesy chopper parked in the bikeshed (unknown CSA dodger) and worst still is that they think they can bring up a brat in a shunters den!!! What sort of a toilet are we dumping our brats in.? The only way that really works is for the Dronedad and slapper in a dull relationship churning out the Chavs in a place where horses live with relatives in the sea. l dont believe any thing less than that will bring about Chavs who wll grow up to respect the Burberry.. Call me old fashion if you like but you cannot change Uncle Nobheads intention and purpose for the human race.
Virginia, Golden.. Marlboro country

Tut tut! what has Uncle Nobhead got to do with anything!?? The femistate is the real Uncle Nobhead now! What a load of patriarchal nonsense!


I really wish my XXbrats father was just as interested. I agree that where possible, both Stateslaves should be given a glimpse of their brats during their initial femistate-programming I have tried hard to encourage him to buy me stuff, but even after I got him arrested for DV when he refused, he really didnt feel forced. To her it looks great, she could go and visit just when she wanted and he was all smiles for her. But she couldn't stay unless it was pre-arranged and not too frequently either! I did offer to let her live with him some days of the week when I needed sex with strange men I found on the internet, his job is to serve, but he didn't want to know. Fortunately, the strange men on the internet were happy to have sex with me while the kids where home, in fact, some of them even offered to help bathe them! Now, thats what every tired Single Mother Slapper needs! A godsend! Pity there are not more real men like that around!
I am so glad that there are many men out there who actually want to be reduced to daddrones. Articles that let them know their place are great and the state must benefit enormously.
CNT, Bedhopping, UK

Indeed. Wise words of wisdom from the slapper. The more patriarchal brutes that the femistate can re-educate into the higher drone status the better for all!


Fortunately there are very few spoilt brats like the ones in this article. The government now claims that there are three million children, freed from the horrors of the archaic biological family and over a million being freed from the annoying non resident parent.

In my support work with the Brat and Drones Alliance, the numbers of drones desperate for feminisation reflects this situation.

Each day I have increased numbers asking how they can grovel best to Big Fanny..

Only the adoption of the legal status of shared parenting will help reduce the misery of femistate lawyers failing to find enough work to keep them busy dealing with trivial matters trapped in the battles over the resident parent's refusal to adopt drone status..
John Thomas, Bigtool, England

Nice try John, till you came up with the expected answer.. Tut Tut! I was almost expecting you to say that only male head of family and return to the sanctity of marraige would enable parents to fulfill their natural God given roles! Thank the Non Existent being that you have been well trained by the PC dominated drone "halfway house" EP groups for the as not yet fully feminised.. Much work to be done though.. Fact is, only the femistate has the answers, ridiculous presumptions of equal parenting? Come on now JT, you know that 90% of men are abusive patriarchs? No way can they be trusted till they have been infantilised and droned properly! And even then, slapper comes first!
(PS I am greatful that you did not notice that even then, drone needs a £120k PA income.. from approved femistate sources.. And 4 days off weekly..)


Definitely some good advice for the aspiring dronedad and in parts it really suits me... Certainly the rule about pandering entirely to the brats when they are expecting servitude of dronedad is an important one and something I try to follow, having regular safe activities like playing with puppies or plaiting sawdust clubs to attend is also an important part of servitude time with the femistates property and gives them something to moan about especially as they hit those tweenage years and like a good whinge. As I prepare the "drone do" list for next weeks service to bratdom, I wish I could find more ways of prostrating myself and feeling good...
Dick Smith, Nohampton, UK

Dontcha just love real infantilised dronedads? You can almost smell the estrogen! What a treasure!

No surprises from me, getting rid of the Bitch From Hell has made life so much better!
But, does slutbags feel good for me? No, that tart is trying to cause more shit with her jealous whining..
If divorce makes you a better dad, then some mangina has been tossing too many salads..
Ron Bigcock, Badtown,

Hmm! I think this fellow is losing his sense of unreality! Up his CSA payments pronto!


Divorce is great for a Gent! Fuck all that poncing around with the brats.. Just throw the old slag some CSA dosh and thats the responsibilities sorted!. Divorce fucks it up families or mothers, but, who gives a shit?
Jeremy, Whitsend,

Oh dear! What is this? Up the CSA payments!! More jail for being a patriarch!


This arse tickle has fondled my midsection..

I know how to max the drama in the hope of getting sympathy votes from the femi-elite.. the awkward moment at school assembly when state property doesn't know which infantilised parental slave to run to. They aught to know, the one with the tits.. Shes the real hero..

It probably was a major contributory factor in a major whingefest I indulged in during my "ritual of humiliation"