Chivalrous men and the victim-princess complex

bola · #1 25th-September-2006

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/roberts/050823

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I recently came across an article sporting the irresistible title, A Nation of Little Princesses. Author Christopher Healy explores the archetype of the princess, which he asserts "is one of the longest-lived in all of literary history." [www.freepress.net/news/print.php?id=5557]

My first reaction was to think, "Here's some Neanderthal guy trying to peddle outdated gender stereotypes." But Healy points to the fact that the Disney Corporation has assembled a Princess brand consisting of eight animated film heroines including Cinderella, Snow White, Pocahontas, Belle of Beauty of the Beast, and others. In 2003 the Princess line racked up an astonishing $2.5 billion in sales, up from a mere $300 million in 2001.

And that's just for starters. "We've gone beyond the dress-up and toys, and begun to look at the brand as a lifestyle, filling out all the other things girls need in life," according to Mary Beech, Disney's director of franchise management. Things girls need in life?

Healy, proud dad of a three-year-old girl, notes with an equal mix of astonishment and horror, "The ease and rapidity with which a princess obsession can take hold of a young girl's psyche is mind-blowing."

Eventually those little Jennifers and Bethanies grow up, go to college, and enroll in their first Women's Studies course. There they learn that the kiss by their Prince Charming really represents non-consensual sexual assault, that Belle's Beast is a closet bodice-ripper, and that the fable of the Princess talking to the Green Frog at the side of the well is an allegory of serial rape.

But the Women's Studies gurus explain they can still make their dreams of tiaras and sequin-studded dresses come true: "Join the Sisterhood, and we'll turn you into a real princess!"

According to the feminist fable, women were kept under heel for so many millennia that members of the fairer sex need to play "catch-up." So now women should be the beneficiaries of an ever-expanding array of legal protections, government programs, commercial products, and lifestyle options. That's the Victim-Princess Complex.

What princess who has just been betrayed by her Handsome Green Frog could resist that offer?

Before long these Wicked Witches of the North have cast a spell on their Little Pretties. These young women soon graduate from college believing that women are paid less for the same work, that women were routinely excluded from medical research, and a multitude of other tragedies that have befallen womankind. Victimization has become a mainstay of their self-identity.

It's not just the feminist propaganda mill that endlessly replays the woman-as-victim mantra. Chivalrous men, acting out their fantasies of the White Knight in Shining Armor, are guilty as well.

Pick up a copy of your local newspaper and you will see articles usually written by male reporters and columnists that reinforce the notion of the downtrodden female. Accounts of women who are stressed-out, undervalued, and abused form the staple of daily news reporting.

Recently I attended a conference where a speaker blandly made the claim that 60 million women around the world had "disappeared." He didn't bother to offer any details or proof. And he certainly didn't say anything about men who were never heard from again.

I imagine that catering to women's insecurities makes these men feel gallant and proud. But chivalry is defined as being "considerate and courteous to women." Slanting and distorting the truth that's chicanery, not chivalry.

Yet there's a downside to the Princess-Victim Complex.

Myrna Blyth, former editor of Ladies Home Journal, reveals how women's magazines turn female victimization into a hard sell for the latest beauty products or weight control program. Blyth decries how these magazines promote "narcissism as an advanced evolutionary stage of female liberation. Me, me, me, means you're finally free, free, free."

But the problem goes beyond self-absorbed narcissism.

In his Nation of Little Princesses article, Christopher Healy quotes a father who observes, "Well, that's the magic of Disney: It's addictive. It's like crack for 5-year-olds."

So the Victim-Princess Complex begins to resemble a dysfunctional habit in which the negative feelings of being a victim require ever-larger "fixes" for women to feel good about themselves. And those fixes come with a hefty price tag. Princesses "only find true happiness once they're married off with royal expense accounts," Healy laments.

These women are undoubtedly the most prosperous, pampered, and protected group in the history of the world. But they would still have you believe that women aren't getting a fair shake.

What is the truth of feminism? A fairytale come true, or a royal deception that appeals to the most primitive instincts of men and women alike?

myce · #2 25th-September-2006

Little girls love princesses, but then they are supposed to grow out of it.

Come to think of it... I thought fairy tales were uncool because they teach little girls that a man will come rescue them? Or was that only a passing fad in feminism?

Yan Yan · #3 25th-September-2006

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Originally Posted by myce

Little girls love princesses, but then they are supposed to grow out of it.

Sorry myce (really!) I seemed to be picking on you tonight.

Who told them they were potential princesses?

Did 'they' forget to say, "Ya gotta kiss the frog/beast first - and really mean it". Otherwise the magic doesn't work.

Hang on in there myce!!!

myce · #4 25th-September-2006

I was just remembering my own childhood, the princess is an archetype that little girls are drawn to. Princess are beautiful, they live in castles and ride unicorns, their lives are magical and they are above and away from ordinary mundane life... and it is fantasy. Why girls grow up still believing they are princesses, I don't know.

reldihs · #5 25th-September-2006

because they get their parents to believe it as well... they demand that they be treated like a princess. if mommy and daddy are always giving her whatever she desires, she's going to think that she really is royalty.

parents need to learn when to draw the line. there's a difference between your kids having nice things, and just spoiling them rotten.

myce · #6 25th-September-2006

Maybe they have a disfunctional family, and the parent(s) try to make it up to them by spoiling them rotten?

**the sad geek** · #7 26th-September-2006

Question is, why can't spoiled rotten boys inflict the same damage spoilt rotten girls can when both grow up?

Yan Yan · #8 26th-September-2006

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Originally Posted by the sad geek

Question is, why can't spoiled rotten boys inflict the same damage spoilt rotten girls can when both grow up?

They probably will. But then it will be too late for all of us.

Major Tom · #9 26th-September-2006

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Originally Posted by the sad geek

Question is, why can't spoiled rotten boys inflict the same damage spoilt rotten girls can when both grow up?

Most spoilt kids are usually over-protected, girls more so than boys from what I have seen, (girls especially by their fathers) over-protected kids never really mature properly and when they are adults they still tend to act like kids and not really take responsibility for their actions.

Now, with men, I would say it has something to do with this; usually someone or something makes him grow up and stop being immature - whether from a beating or from someone telling him what everyone thinks of him or something else.
Also, people generally seem to be less willing to put up with bullshit and immaturity from a man as opposed to from a woman.

Marx · #10 26th-September-2006

Yes, MT... in that when a woman is offended - it is virtually a crime. Hence, folk are far less inclined to speak their mind to a woman for fear of 'hurting her feelings'...

dad_savage · #11 27th-September-2006

Bear with me here because this could get a little long-winded, but I believe this might have something to do with role-models and positive reinforcement of certain values. I will make several assumptions, some supported also please note that while I make generalizations I do not mean to imply that all women are X or Y; I only apply this to those who are the subject of this topic.

Marketing and advertising are highly pervasive, and women are particularly suggestible to it; evidenced by greater spending, larger portion of income considered disposable, etc. This same cultural force expects women to adopt a more masculine attitude in regards to employment and income, glamorizing the image of money-earning to make it seem more attractive. More money earned, more money spent. Women who are not independent and do not earn a self-sustaining income still believe that they reflect - confusing potential with reality - independent values usually associated with masculinity. Classical examples of positive females (fictional or otherwise) rarely hold up in a masculine context. Support - female and male archetypes almost always exhibit different attitudes and goals, resorting to different means to achieve said goals.

Classical examples of positive females, including parents and other real-world figures with an 'old world' sensibility are not emulated. Support - their irrelevance to the current expected 'ideal' roles of women, roles which many women believe - reality aside - they currently espouse.
The modern image of female independence was forged in a socially irresponsible time and is a narcissistic, self-serving consumer, her image is not loaded with real-world responsibilities, but rather with unexplained, glamorous success that leads to real world rewards which are almost always material in nature.

This, listed above, is the only available image for modern women to aspire to.

Excuse my rusty logic, if it is indeed rusty, and I know allot of this is merely speculation, but I post it, nevertheless, not in the hopes of convincing people that it is fact, but rather so that with their input it can be established if it is fact, if so to what degree or if not and if so to what degree.