Violent Men, Victimized Women

**Kim** · 26th-March-2008

http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/...html?id=357742

Violent men, victimized women
Walter S. De Keseredy, National Post Published: Friday, March 07, 2008

In her Feb. 27 article "On domestic violence, no one wants to hear the truth," National Post columnist Barbara Kay stated that people claiming women are as violent as men in intimate, heterosexual relationships are "truth-tellers," while those who challenge or reject the sexual symmetry of violence are "all reading from the same myth-riddled hymn book." However, by denouncing a gendered understanding of intimate partner violence and promoting the work of Erin Pizzey and Donald Dutton, Ms. Kay has engaged in a process of activism herself. She is trying to advance a political agenda instead of telling the whole truth.

One part of the truth Ms. Kay didn't tell is that sexual assault is violent behaviour committed primarily by men, especially by male dating partners and acquaintances. How many men do you know who have been raped by their spouses, ex-spouses or girlfriends? How often do we read newspaper stories about women stalking ex-husbands and then killing them and their children?

Sadly, in Canada, the risk of women being killed increases sixfold during the process of separation, which partially explains why so many women are afraid to leave abusive or controlling men. Ms. Kay selectively ignores other serious acts of male abuse, including strangulation, the destruction of women's prized possessions, threats to harm or take away children, and the mutilation of pets. No wonder Canadian battered women's shelters are filled every day and night.

Another part of the truth ignored in Ms. Kay's column is that we rarely see men seeking aid in hospital emergency rooms because they were beaten or raped by their female partners. On the other hand, male violence against women is the number-one injury to women treated by emergency room staff. It is painfully obvious, but worth stating again: The bulk of violence in intimate, heterosexual relationships is committed by men.

Why do men hit, rape or kill the women they love? Ms. Kay, psychologist Donald Dutton and many others claim that they are "sick." Large-scale surveys of the general population suggest that if violence is a function of mental illness, then close to a third (if not more) of the men in our society are sick.

Of course, some abusive men have clinical pathologies, but most do not. If violent husbands, cohabiting and estranged partners and boyfriends are in fact mentally ill, then why do they beat, rape or kill only female partners and not their bosses, friends or neighbours? If we are dealing with men who have terrible problems with self-control, how do they manage to keep from hitting people until they are at home alone with their loved ones?

These questions cannot be answered by psychological theories, primarily because these theories ignore the unequal distribution of power between men and women in Canadian society and in domestic contexts.

Ms. Kay incorrectly assumes that feminists have more influence over police officers, politicians, judges and other practitioners than people who claim that intimate violence is a gender-neutral problem. She also ignores the fact that -- despite federal and provincial directives to police to lay charges for all cases of domestic violence where reasonable and probable grounds exist -- charges are uncommon. The same can be said about sexual assault and stalking.

Ms. Kay quotes Erin Pizzey, who stated that for gender politics "Canada is the scariest country on the planet." Indeed, many Canadian women live in fear on a daily basis -- but not for the reason Ms. Pizzey suggests. As my friend and colleague Dr. Meda Chesney-Lind once stated, given the alarming amount of violence women suffer at male hands, the incredible story is that the number of female murderers is so low.

-Dr. Walter S. DeKeseredy is a professor of Criminology, Justice and Policy Studies at the University of Ontario Institute of Technology.

What Dr. DeKeserdy fails to mention, while he points out forms of violence that are commonly attributed to men, are the types of violence that are more often committed by women. I guess it's easy to disregard that women are more likely to not only abuse but murder their children then men. Apparently Dr. DeKeserdy does not think this type of violence rates mentioning.

I also like how he considered destruction of a woman's possessions and threats to keep away the children acts of violence. If that's so, women are just as guilty (in my opinion more so) of such acts, and, if we're expanding violence to such a broad definition, then surely we should include alienating children from their fathers and verbally maligning fathers in front of their children.

We should also include in our tally false accusations of rape and abuse. Even if he avoids jail time, a falsely accused man's career and life are typically ruined by such charges. Clearly these would also count as 'acts of violence' since destroying a life is surely a greater offense than the destruction of personal possessions.

Of course, this is to be expected. As soon as we see factions of society starting to accept that men do not have a monopoly on violence, the feminists and their supporters come out of the woodwork attempting to reaffirm that evil actions are committed solely by men.

More...

**MikeT** · 26th-March-2008

One buzz-word, Kim, Women-friendly Media.
You can't compete when you have the odds stacked against you like this.
Look why is it so damn hard to get our message across?, simple, the media only takes on-board what will sell it's papers, TV programs and news.
And with that viewer-ship comes advertising, now you don't need to tell me who the adverts are targeting, the sex that spends the most.
Media goes for the dollar, not a message, not even for a fair deal anymore, it's MONEY.
So, the more of these looney "doctors" they can find, the better, they will write to a prescription of man-bashing hate, as long as they get the publicity.
Personally I think the common media should be ignored, like all cheap whores are.

**julie** · 26th-March-2008

Quote from MikeT

One buzz-word, Kim, Women-friendly Media.
You can't compete when you have the odds stacked against you like this.
Look why is it so damn hard to get our message across?, simple, the media only takes on-board what will sell it's papers, TV programs and news.
And with that viewer-ship comes advertising, now you don't need to tell me who the adverts are targeting, the sex that spends the most.
Media goes for the dollar, not a message, not even for a fair deal anymore, it's MONEY.
So, the more of these looney "doctors" they can find, the better, they will write to a prescription of man-bashing hate, as long as they get the publicity.
Personally I think the common media should be ignored, like all cheap whores are.

Mike, what does that mean to have at the bottom of you comment... last edited by Mike? Does that mean you are a moderator of this site?

**Wallet** · 26th-March-2008

Men may have it bad and very in other countries, but trust me, men have it far worse in Canada than anywhere else. What we have to put up with here and not just from feminist scumbags, mangina politicians, crappy laws and I mean crappy and just the general public mentality. It is sad and sick. It is unbelievable.

I am surprised boys are not euthanised at birth....men are so hated, especially white men here.

**Percy** · 26th-March-2008

Sadly, in Canada, the risk of women being killed increases sixfold during the process of separation

Doncha just love this mendacity; this Huffo-stat?

The 'risk' of a woman being deliberately 'killed' in Canada is what? Very, very TINY. The number being accidently run over in the street is far larger. The NUMBER of women in Canada that separate is what? Quite large I imagine. The PROPORTION of women in the process of separation who get 'killed' (other than by being run over by accident) is an INFINITISMAL part. Maybe 0.000001

But, hey, SIXFOLD sounds so horrific.

**themanonthestreet** · 26th-March-2008

Julie,

I am officially requesting that you make a formal post of apology to the AM community.

You have made statements about this site that are completely false elsewhere and I am calling you on it. Furthermore, I would appreciate it if you go to said location (you know where I am speaking of) and post the truth.

And since I am sure you'll play the "I donno what you mean" card, I'll explain.

You have claimed that Marx and/or I have banned you from AM. Obviously this is false, since you are posting. You joined in on the feeding frenzy condemning AM for its "policies" when you had no reason to. There is more to the story, and if you so choose to not do as I request, I shall be forced to post EXACTLY what I am referring to.

I will await your thread.

TMOTS

**Ledburian** · 26th-March-2008

Quote from Wallet

Men may have it bad and very in other countries, but trust me, men have it far worse in Canada than anywhere else. What we have to put up with here and not just from feminist scumbags, mangina politicians, crappy laws and I mean crappy and just the general public mentality. It is sad and sick. It is unbelievable.

I am surprised boys are not euthanised at birth....men are so hated, especially white men here.

I never before realised that misandry is so rife in Canada! I see that it is the same in New Zealand. Just what IS it with all our colonial mates? From time to time I try to get a picture of life in other countries from the viewpoint of Brits who have gone to live there. It all makes for interesting reading!

Canada - after a while, a fair number of Brits decide to return to the UK, but I've never yet seen misandry as being one of the main reasons for wanting to pack up and go back home to the UK. Now I will be honest here and report just as I have read on the Brit Ex-Pat sites. From what I can see one of the main reasons is that they find living in Canada quite boring and, sorry, NO offence intended, but that the Canadians are generally quite boring and mundane, too, and a sense of humour is pretty thin on the ground. And after one or two winters there - they yearn for the UK's mild conditions and even the rain and grey skies! And everywhere is so far from everywhere else! But as for the anti maleism there - I've not yet seen any complaints about this.

New Zealand - after a while that, too, is boring, compared with the UK with far more things going on back home here. And it's about as far from "home" as you can get before you find yourself back towards the UK again!

The USA: well, the biggest bugbear with living over there, by all accounts, is the "nightmare" (the Ex-Pats' favourite word to describe it) of the American healthcare system, after they'd been so used to the universal, guaranteed healthcare system back home in the UK (and elsewhere in Europe) where they do not ask "how you are going to pay for treatment?" - before you even start on it, and then sort out through all the intricacies of a very convoluted insurance jamboree. Again, not much mention of any direct misandry in the USA that I have seen) - but what has made me laugh is a fair number of the British guys comment with questions like this: "Since when do American women listen to what men have to say, anyway?"

**Percy** · 26th-March-2008

The article is one of many that surface from time to time, mythologising mendacities and creating urban legends. They demonise men and blow any single incident into an epidemic.

The Washington Post did that a while back about 'pregnancy murder' which galvanised a big campaign by RADAR. Details can be found here.

http://www.mediaradar.org/pmm_articles.php

It seems women love this sort of thing. It is the 'horror story' equivalent of 'romance' emotional porn. It sells newspapers and brings out all the shoddy journalists who cannot be bothered to check any facts. As for their maths ability, well, they never studied maths on their journo courses. They could not fit it in between all the compulsory women's studies units.

**bobx23456** · 26th-March-2008

Quote from Percy

Doncha just love this mendacity; this Huffo-stat?

The 'risk' of a woman being deliberately 'killed' in Canada is what? Very, very TINY. The number being accidently run over in the street is far larger. The NUMBER of women in Canada that separate is what? Quite large I imagine. The PROPORTION of women in the process of separation who get 'killed' (other than by being run over by accident) is an INFINITISMAL part. Maybe 0.000001

But, hey, SIXFOLD sounds so horrific.

The lying hateful bitches haven't changed. All I can say is that the MEN of Canada need to raise Dr. Walter S. DeKeseredy's risk of death up to 1.0. Her whiny feminal yap needs to stop spewing hate.

Blessings

Bob

**bobx23456** · 26th-March-2008

Quote from Billy

Since when do they not pay attention to cheap whores?

Women in general don't care what men say.
It's not just American women..

Recently a male friend of the wifes committed suicide.
She asked why some people give up so often and commented that she couldn't imagine taking her life. When I started telling her the reason men often take their lives and that nobody cared what men have to say she screamed at me "Don't get on your soapbox"...

She proved what I was saying.

I've seen it time and time again.. Some women will push a man to make him mad. Then she can complain that he is mean or violent etc.
Mom did it to my Dad. My wife has done it to me.
My sisters did this in our younger years.

I was recently verbally attacked by women on a christian forum when I mentioned the feminist take over of the churches today. I am a misgynist for merely suggesting feminist are evil. No surprise that most of the men defend the women. The women took over as mods at this site and they now have female worship. "tell us what we want to hear or we will make your stay very unpleasant..."

I told them I was mistaken and thought that it was a christian forum.

You got that right Billy. In front of every "abusive" man is an evil bitch who greatly deserves a lot more than she got.

"To the moon, Alice! To the moon!" KAPOW!

BLessings

Bob

**bachelor tom** · 26th-March-2008

Quote from Billy

Since when do they not pay attention to cheap whores?

Women in general don't care what men say.
It's not just American women..

Recently a male friend of the wifes committed suicide.
She asked why some people give up so often and commented that she couldn't imagine taking her life. When I started telling her the reason men often take their lives and that nobody cared what men have to say she screamed at me "Don't get on your soapbox"...

She proved what I was saying.

I've seen it time and time again.. Some women will push a man to make him mad. Then she can complain that he is mean or violent etc.
Mom did it to my Dad. My wife has done it to me.
My sisters did this in our younger years.

I was recently verbally attacked by women on a christian forum when I mentioned the feminist take over of the churches today. I am a misgynist for merely suggesting feminist are evil. No surprise that most of the men defend the women. The women took over as mods at this site and they now have female worship. "tell us what we want to hear or we will make your stay very unpleasant..."

I told them I was mistaken and thought that it was a christian forum.

Good points Billy

Modern "progressive" men project their own minds onto women, expecting females to think like us. They don't, and we flatter them by hoping they will show the same levels of imagination, curiosity, creativity, compassion, objectivity etc. An exercise in futility, even in supposedly conservative environments.