I was reading a post on antimisandry.com today about Women's Institute women who are fighting to legalize prostitution in order to improve conditions for prostitutes. The women are visting brothels in various countries to find what they consider an example of ideal working conditions or the "perfect brothel". One of the women made the following comment,

'I discovered that in brothels in Holland men must wear condoms, which makes sense, and girls are regularly tested for infection. This is very important, not just for the girl, but for the family of the man who has been to see her.'

Did you catch that? It's essential for a man to wear a condom to protect the girls, as well as to protect his family should he catch some terrible sexually transmitted disease. Of course, there's no concern for the man who'll potentially contract HIV and end up be dying of AIDS.

I see this concept repeated time and again, and not just by the rad-fems, either. It seems I can hardly read anything that talks about the welfare of men without seeing the real concern being for the women in their lives.

If a soldier dies in combat, it's his wife and mother who are the real victims. If the suicide rate for men is alarmingly high, we must combat it because of the devastating impact it will have upon their wives and mothers. If men are dying at younger and younger ages, the real issue is the wives who they'll no longer be able to support.

Men are actual real, live human beings and as such, they matter. They don't merely matter as an extension of someone else. Their lives are not only important as they relate to the women in them. The very worst part about a soldier dying is the tragic loss of a young life that's ended way too quickly. The worst thing about high male suicide rates is the large number of men suffering emotional and mental anguish and the subsequent needless, wasteful end of their lives. The worst thing about men dying IS MEN DYING.

I don't imply that wives and mothers are not affected by the death of their sons and husbands. I can't imagine anything more devastating than if my husband or one of my children were to die, but the greatest tragedy would not be mine. The greatest tragedy would be the life that was ended prematurely.

Personally, I'm tired of the lives of men only mattering as they affect women. I'm tired of concern only being shown for the issues of men if those issues are negatively impacting women and I'm tired of hearing that we must take interest in the welfare of men for the benefit of women. It's a disgusting disregard for the value of life and it's a despicable display of bias. Society obviously accepts the importance of lives.....just not the lives of men.

More...

Preach it, sister! Tell it how it is and show women that we need everybody, men and women, to care about one another.

You mean we men actually matter to somebody? Thanks, Kim, another great job!

I totally agree with grizzly penguin.

But I have been thinking about this lately.

So much is expected of men. And I do it myself and a lot of other women do too. (Yeah, I asked)

It is also a discussion that comes up on radios.

"Men can't have equality because women won't let them", says the men.

And it is true. Women don't want men to be human beings. The want them to be heroes. They expect them to take everything dished out to them. (please excuse generalisation)

But then they cry when the man can't take it. There is always a breaking point. And if he takes some much, the boundary is pushed to expect him to take just a bit more and then a bit more.

And then he becomes a broken man. And boy, are there many of them around at the moment.

Not exactly what my post was about, BUT.....I think you're making assumptions concerning the families of the men. These could be young, single men who's mothers would be devastated by them contracting AIDS or divorced fathers with children. I would never advocate "sleeping with whores", but if we're going to be concerned about the health and welfare of the prostitutes, then why shouldn't equal concern be extended to the men who frequent them?

However, as I mentioned, not really the point. The point is, and I can present an endless supply of examples, generally when we see the welfare of men being championed, it's because of the effect their demise will have upon the women in their lives. This pertains far beyond cases of married men visiting brothels.

Good point Tera.

Good point Kim.

Lol, you ladies are fun to follow.

To be honest Tera I am surprised that this is on the table. I thought this was all sorted years ago.

Women are tested because parlours are offering a service for money. Men are the clients so men are important.

If a woman is found to have a disease she cannot work. Should she sue??? I dislike America. Sorry, but America is far from deserving world support.

You are a good sort Tera.

I guess I should also make comment that it isn't just men who are clients to parlours.

to be honest, IMO you are more likely to catch some shit that ajax wont wash off from your average welfare check grabbin malt liqour drinkin slut that you are a professional ho
I been nailin hookers since I was 15 and havent had some much as a drippy dick

Awesome post - nomination material.

That men's welfare is always secondary to how it impacts a woman's life is a perception most people are so inundated with, we rarely even consider the man's welfare himself - aside from 'in relation to' others.

I understand Tera's POV, but what of men stuck with a wife who simply refuses to engage sexually with him and he is there purely because he knows she will castrate him in 'family' court?

I konw a guy who is in that precise situation... He refuses to see a whore though. But he is often on the phone to me, venting frustrations about his marriage not being a marriage. And, I agree.

I get so thrown off so many times over these posts.

I guess it is terrible for women to be seen as mothers also.

Honestly, we should just give the kids to the professionals to take care of. No-one seems to care how important you are as more than just yourself.

I have a feeling selfishness has always existed also. It may just be that I have hung around with the wrong or right people during my life.

Why is it so terrible to be seen as a Dad and husband?

I think the integral qualities for parents are unconditional love, selflessness, kindness and lots and lots of patience. I have yet to find a profession capable of insuring such qualities.

Children belong in the home with their parents, there is no profession capable of taking the place of one's family. Quite often, those who profess to be experts of children and of a child's best interests, are the very last people I would leave my children in the care of.

One million percent correct in my view Kim. Can I do that?

But seriously, I am with you on this one.