Imagine What Must It Be Like, To Be A Man

**Percy** · #16 13th-November-2008

Quote:

and it's so sad, so very sad...to know there will come a day for them that will change their entire view of themselves and the world around them, and that day will hurt like nothing they've ever felt before. .....For awhile after, sometimes forever, the light in their eyes goes out

Oh yes. You get it.

Almost.

That 'day' when their entire world-view changes was noted as part of the man's journey. It is the day he 'get's it'. It is supposed to be that moment when his mind comes together and out of its teen turmoil of restructure. He grasps manhood and what is beyond it. The power of Humanity. The meaning of his life and his path ahead. His Purpose. It is supposed to be a brilliant insight day. His day. It 'makes' him.

But as he has little or no role model, little or no 'transition', guided by wise mentors, it gets totally fucked up. Today it is more the combined weight of villification that crushes him. The one final straw that breaks him. His humanity is broken on the Duluth Wheel.

**Kim** · #17 17th-November-2008

Just thought I'd share a response with you from one of my......."fans".

Quote:

How dare you constantly treat women like man-hating predators? I have never seen women treat men the way you say they do; I have never seen men treated that way, or throw themselves the little pity parties you insist they should be thrown. You claim to see women as equal partners, but all I've ever seen you do is put down women and now, little girls? I can sympathize with certain treatments men receive, but all I've seen you do for any period of time is paint pictures of how bad women are. You speak as though all little girls are bullies, all wives are sots, all young women are shallow and vain. So what are you, Kim? A freak of nature because you're wise, smart, pitying towards men, unlike every other member of the female sex?

Oh yes anonymous, boo-hoo to those little strapping men. I suppose women just have it rich, do they? Of course men have their problems, which Kim has portrayed at the expense of all decent women, but you think women don't? Forget this country; how about the world in general? Which sex has to carry a gun more often because they'd otherwise lose in an attack? Which sex has to worry about going somewhere alone at night? Which sex has never been president? And which sex has always, always in every age been suppressed in one manner or another? Which one has been at the mercy of the other's rule for the majority of history? Which one is still dominated, abused, raped, and shot to death for the smallest infractions in other countries? Don't cry crocodile tears at me for the gender that, by and large, still rules the world.

Kim, I love men and think they're great. But your mass generalizations about women just sicken me.

*SIGH*

And my response.....

Quote:

@Anon

I'll ignore the personal attacks you've made but I will be happy to address the rest of your post.

If you've never seen women treat men in the fashions I mention then I can only submit that you haven't been paying attention. Go talk to a few men who've been through the family court system, who've had to fight tooth and nail for the basic right to see their own children. The things I intimate, they're not 'the world according to Kim'. How did I come by such information? Because I listened to men and what they were saying. I looked around in an unbiased fashion and paid a little bit of attention.

Now, you're completely flawed in your insinuations that I mass generalize about all women. I've made frequent mentions and several posts about the great women I know and have known. Some of the most wonderful people I've ever known have been women, just as some of them have been men. I would never consider insulting them in such a fashion as to suggest that women are horrible or evil and I've never intimated any such thing.

Your assertion that I'm somehow demonizing little girls is also incorrect. Little girls are not responsible for what adults do. Children will be children, it's adults that show bias that are at fault. If two children get in a fight and one is allowed to walk away and the other is punished based on gender, obviously that is not the fault of the child but of the adult who was in charge.

I've stated truths, truths about men and truths about women in our society. Nowhere have I ever said these truths are representative of all men or of all women. That, however, does not make them any less true. Unfortunately, these truths, of things many men really do face, are treated as inconsequential or, as you have done, as somehow being an affront to all women.

Why is it that it's o.k. to champion the causes of women but never of men? You are actually proving a point that I've made before. One of the reasons so many men are mad is that whenever they voice their pains or problems, they are met with exactly what you've just submitted two paragraphs of. Sometimes, it's mockery, other times scorn, but generally it's 'what about women and all they endure'? No care, no compassion, no attempt to understand....instead a display of anger and disgust.

We already know what women endure. There are many massive movements all geared toward the concerns of women. Concerns of women are valid, worthy....concerns of men, however, are apparently not of such worth. Domestic violence toward women is treated as it should be, something horrible and wrong. Domestic violence toward men is a joke and completely underreported because men know that they will be ridiculed and laughed at. I could present you a myriad of examples of the causes of men being ignored while the causes of women are validated but I wouldn't want to attempt to engage you in a "pity party".

Incidentally, addressing your assertions about throwing men pity parties....men don't want your pity, or mine. They want the world to recognize that they are more than a paycheck or someone to send off to war to die. They want recognition that they do matter, that fathers matter and just a little bit of validation for their cares or concerns. Sadly, for some, that appears to be too much to ask.

Feckless · #18 17th-November-2008

That was brillian Kim!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TERA

I've thought about what it must be like to have to ask a woman for a date. The thought of being laughed at, or told to "take a hike." I've thought about how that would feel...and I'm pretty sure the first time it happened, I'd be not wanting to put myself out there like that again. I don't know how guys do it.

This reminds me of that experiment where a woman dressed up and lived as a man (a women in disguise) she couldn´t understand either:

Quote:

* It's men who frequently suffer rejection � and supposedly emotionally in-tune women are extraordinarily self-absorbed.

* Although men are supposedly the dominant species, it's women who dominate most dating conversations.
"I listened to them talk literally for hours about the most minute, mind-numbing details of their personal lives," Vincent writes. "Listening to them was like undergoing a slow frontal lobotomy."

* Women are responsible for some of the hostility they encounter while playing the dating game.
"The women who were hostile to me made me mad," she writes, "and that made me want to be hostile to them. I can't imagine men in the same position not reacting the same way."

On Norah Vincent - Self Made Man

Billy · #19 17th-November-2008

Good post Kim.
yours too Feck

It seems most people and especially women don't understand until they go through or know someone going through these struggles.

BlueRanger · #20 17th-November-2008

Thank you Kim, for showing me that there are at least some sane women out there.

**Percy** · #21 17th-November-2008

Quote:

I've stated truths, truths about men and truths about women in our society. Nowhere have I ever said these truths are representative of all men or of all women. That, however, does not make them any less true. Unfortunately, these truths, of things many men really do face, are treated as inconsequential or, as you have done, as somehow being an affront to all women.

Why is it that it's o.k. to champion the causes of women but never of men? You are actually proving a point that I've made before. One of the reasons so many men are mad is that whenever they voice their pains or problems, they are met with exactly what you've just submitted two paragraphs of. Sometimes, it's mockery, other times scorn, but generally it's 'what about women and all they endure'? No care, no compassion, no attempt to understand....instead a display of anger and disgust.
Kim.

My bolds.

You are so clear and composed, Kim. You do it well.

I would have added 'sad' along with 'mad' somewhere close.

It is a profound sadness to most men that the women that they love as being their 'perfect one', the one they want so much to be a loving partner to, one of a gender that they almost universally look toward with something approaching 'awe', certainly a desire to be with, can be so different to what they have been taught to expect. So opposite.

The warm, nurturing, empathetic, understanding gender that they describe themselves as, has in reality almost universally disintegrated into this 'no care', 'no compassion', no understanding' horde of harridans who show little self-control and all the anger and violence that men are accused of, and more.

The term 'Opposite Sex' is apt.

Men are mad, because they are so badly hurt. His anger is his way of overcoming the pain of his wounds; the ones she has inflicted.

When an enemy betrays you and stabs you, you feel physical pain but not emotional pain. You expect an enemy to try to hurt you.

When a friend does it - one who is more than just a friend - the pain is in every fibre. It is deep and debilitating. A man is left asking, incredulously, "How could she do that to me"?

I ask myself all the time, "How could women be so awful to me. To men? Why? "

christianj · #22 17th-November-2008

"HELL HAS NO FURY LIKE A WOMEN SCORNED" is the general consensus for all women. They "feel" that they can behave any way they please and not be held accountable..

This saying has been around for eons, so what's different..??

Women have demonstrated that they do not give a damn about anything else besides what they see in the mirror.

It's a generalisation but it is the case..

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