My youngest child is an 8 year old little boy. He's really starting to notice gender differences lately and will often comment on them to me. Some of his recent observations were,

"Boys like guns and stuff because they're the ones who are soldiers."

"Boys are better at hard stuff because they're stronger than girls. Right, Mom?"

"Boys make good heroes because they're good at saving the day."

"Just me and Dad are going because this is only for boys, Mom"

How do I feel about his comments? I think they're great. I love that he's proud to be a boy and prouder still that he'll grow up to be a man.

I realize that if I followed today's version of Motherhood 101 I'd quickly squash these notions, informing him that a girl is capable of doing anything a boy can do, just as well or better. I prefer to let me sons relish in all the wonderful aspects of being a boy and my daughter to appreciate all that's special about being a girl.

Do I worry that my sweet little boy will grow up to devalue women? Not for a second. If anything, allowing ourselves to recognize gender differences only makes us appreciate those differences all the more. The reason men love women and women love men is because we are drawn to those differences.

One of my son's best friends is a little girl. They are so cute together. Two adorable, blonde-haired, blue-eyed kids. They play games, ride bikes and scooters together, battle it out on Guitar Hero III....of course, he saves games of football and soldier for his male friends...."cuz girls don't really like those, huh, Mom."

More...

It sounds like he's been getting a lot of misnadry from his school and is trying to get affirmation on positive boy things tht he and his friends have been talking among themselves to combat the hate they are getting from
the schoolmarms. That's just a guess.

Blessings

Bob

I actually think it's indicative of a very natural stage of childhood when boys and girls start realizing their inherent differences. I remember doing it and I remember my brothers doing it as well. However, when my brothers and I did it, it was treated as the normal stage that it was, where today boys are no longer allowed to define and take pride in these gender differences.

I agree.

Bob, there is nothing remotely in what Kim wrote that suggests misandry at school. It may be the case but there is no 'sound' that points to it.

The lad is not only noticing sex differences but trying to make some categorical sense. He asks his mum for confirmation of his tentative decisions. This is normal.

I don't agree Percy. Kims description suggests that the boy is much too much concerned with boys being "good" at something. It suggests that he's been told that "girls are good" (but not boys) far more often than is normal. It suggests that he has not been told "boys are good" and is struggling to find personal reasons for his own value.



While a normal boy will be sorting out what is female and what is male, this boy seems to be far too much concerned with being finding something where boys are "good." That part doesn't sound normal to me. It conflicts with my memory of my childhood, and also with my experience as a father raising 3 boys. The boy's questions storngly suggest that he's been told "boys are bad" in some manner and he's struggling against it.

blessings

Bob

I have already said, Bob, that you may be correct, but there is NOTHING in what Kim said that leads to your conclusions. You step right outside the available information.

If MRAs are to be effective then we should apply the same rigour of Logical argument to our words as Men claim Women don't. Stop acting like a feminazi, Bob. It does not become a chap.

I disagree Percy. The information is right there in the quotes of what the boy said. I'm giving my understanding of the meaning of the quotes from the boy. It's right in Kim's original quesiton. We may never agree on the interpretation but I am only responding to Kim's quotes from her son.



The logic is clear, and rigorous. If you disagree with the interpretation, that's fine, but you needn't criticze.

Blessings

Bob

I understand where you're going, Bob,but this would not be correct in my son's situation. He's been told that boys are great every day of his life. He's been raised in an environment where men are appreciated and admired. So much so that if he were encountering episodes in school where he was made to feel otherwise, he would ask me about them because they would be so far out of line with how he's been raised.

Additionally, he loves school. His teachers have always adored him and if anything, given him a little too much leeway simply because he's just so cute.

I'm quite confindent that in his case it's merely a situation of a boy doing what they're meant to do, starting to separate from their mother to identify and bond more strongly with their father. He's realizing that boys and girls are different and that he quite likes that he's a boy. Perfectly natural, in my opinion.

Bob, I criticise what I see as needing criticism. I am not criticisng you. You are not special. I am criticising something that is yours. Your illogic and going beyond the data to your own assumptions.

Kim shows you to be quite wrong in your assumptions. Your interpretations - and mine - are irrelevant. To raise 'interpretations' at all is simple mendacity; a Feminazi trick to divert attention to a straw man.

Bob, if you are ever to be an effective MRA you will need to make some distinctions and discriminations within yourself, and throw out those aspects you own that are frankly feminist in nature.

You asked for our opnion Kim. If you are going to reject my opinion that's fine, but I still suspect that I am right. I have raised 3 sons in addition to my own experience. What you describe sounds like a boy who's looking for reassurance that boys are good. He's also at an age where he's going out into the world, to school, meeting feminist trained girls, dealing with feminist trained schoolmarms, and being fed the new beginning readers that are all about girls are good. He also probably has school friends who have heard a lot of "boys are bad" at their homes so he gets it second hand in boy talk.

If things were as you say, that he knows he's "good" then he wouldn't be asking for reassurance about boys, men, and masculinity. Its unnatural for a boy to be asking that unless someone put it in his mind. Its not the sort of thing that a boy is likely to think up by hiimself.

As you say, Kim, a boy will normally be exploring the roles of boys and men, and perhaps even more so if he's being confused about them at school. But he won't normally be asking for assurance that men's roles are "good" unless he's getting an opposite message somewhere.

Blessings

Bob

I think it is cute. These are the days you need to remember. Speak of it on their 21st. Embarrass them in front of their mates and girlfriends as only a mum can do. ....... OK, that may be mean.

My brothers went through this. Train set was the boys and the matchbox cars. Then they found interest in things that even they didn't share.
I think too, it is an identity thing.

BTW, the girls just liked the train set because trains are electrical and move and make noise and tea parties and dolls are not the same.

But ...once the bikes came along, it was all back to being a group of kids.