So I'm gonna ask, how long did it take you to 'get over' it? Not just the divorce, but your ex-wife too?

Get over? I haven't.

I chose my wife. (both of them). I loved her. I promised to Love her all the days of my life.

My decisions and promises are defining aspects of me. My Love is mine to give because of me, not because of the one I love. I have not stopped loving just because she has stopped - that is her failure - nor because of her bad behaviours.

I have not got over the betrayal or that part of my life anymore than I could 'get over' being a human being. It is part of my life.

I could no sooner 'get over' loving someone that I could 'get over' honouring my better qualities.

I have a daughter that I love too. She has not allowed any contact with me for years and years. I cannot even conceive of not loving her.

Advice: Love.

Forgive the person but not the crime.

Bear the Pain.

Some women are easier to get over than others..

Its all shit though eh?

Women seem to think nothing of it, but us men keep wondering, though there is not much point..

Advice?

Remember, it wasnt your fault..

You did your best..

No need to do that anymore, take it easy and bollock to em!

I haven't gotten over my first wife yet. I still love her yet sometimes I hate her though I try not to.

The second nad I were never married but I do miss her.

And as for my children that pain never goes away.

I am so so glad that I never got married.

Quote from Marx

Are you divorced?

I've spoken with a few guys since having gone through the joke of divorce, and it seems to be a recurring theme...

We put on the straight face, tell everyone we're doing fine, go do some entertaining stuff to help take our minds off it... and then, we go home alone and wonder those thoughts

"Why... would it have been different if... Does she hate me (time will definitely answer this one)... what do I do now... etc."


So I'm gonna ask, how long did it take you to 'get over' it? Not just the divorce, but your ex-wife too? Contending with not seeing your kids every night? Missing the familiar odours & sights?

What advice could or would you offer a man going through divorce now?

My wife left me Christmas 2005, the divorce was finalized in fall 2006. I'm still not "over it." I don't trust women fully. Possibly never will. I saw how the deck was stacked against us legally. She didn't just try to take me to the cleaner's financially; she tried her best to destroy me, financially, emotionally, and mentally. Physically, it took it's toll. I went from 195 lbs of muscle mass to 165. She was a textbook feminist, nothing was ever her responsibility, but it was all my fault.

I used to want kids, now, I could care less because I'm so glad I never had kids with her. How could I trust a woman to be mother to my kids, knowing she could take them away from me at any time? How can I trust her to raise my son with my values, even if she doesn't divorce me?

Now, I'm living my dream life, literally. My job's what I always wanted. I'm living in a condo in Florida. I've got a pretty good girlfriend, and I've had some great relationships since my divorce. But, I doubt I'll ever get married again. I just don't see it in the cards.

My advice, find a couple of your good male friends; and make them throw you a "Release into the Wild" party. It's a great way to just blow off steam. Other than that, time will heal the wounds, but the scars on your heart make it much tougher to trust again.

Quote from rohara

I am so so glad that I never got married.

Me too, however, it's not always that simple (see: "Percy" above).
SOME females have stood out well above others to the point that I allowed them close access
into my sphere of influence.

As this thread cites actual divorce, and children, I'll gracefully bow out.

I'm with Percy....you bear the pain. But I can say it gets a little bit easier over time...the pain becomes manageable, less frequent...less debilitating. I've been divorced for eight years now and there are moments it still hurts. If you've ever really loved, you know you can't turn off your feelings like a switch though sometimes you wish you could. Love (real love) is eternal.

After enough time passes, the pain of divorce gets to be less and less, and the good memories start to come back. These are also tinged with a bit of pain, but it's not bad, it's bittersweet.

Well its been eight years for me. My divorce was horrid and involved a false rape charge during the divorce.
For me it has never ended, I have not seen my children in eight very long years.
Regarding missing the X , I never think of her except when I hear about a bad car accident and I prey its her.
Bitter
You f ucking know it.

Quote from rohara

I am so so glad that I never got married.

a wise man

Quote from Marx

[Note: The forum demands a location pre-fix to focus the target responses, it can be ignored on this occasion as it's just a generic question]

Are you divorced?

I've spoken with a few guys since having gone through the joke of divorce, and it seems to be a recurring theme...

We put on the straight face, tell everyone we're doing fine, go do some entertaining stuff to help take our minds off it... and then, we go home alone and wonder those thoughts

"Why... would it have been different if... Does she hate me (time will definitely answer this one)... what do I do now... etc."


So I'm gonna ask, how long did it take you to 'get over' it? Not just the divorce, but your ex-wife too? Contending with not seeing your kids every night? Missing the familiar odours & sights?

What advice could or would you offer a man going through divorce now?

why not approach his wife and make her an offer she can't refuse

It only hurt the first couple of times,your first loves,when they suddenly turn around and say i do not love you,but your brother,cousin or friend,will do nicely thank you,then you realise that women are fickle,if not treachous,so you harden yourself and learn to protect your own feelings,or as a young man you are likely to do something that will hurt or embarrass yourself for decades to come(the OMG do i do that) write bloody love songs or poems and post it through her letter box at night,hoping that will bring her back,it passes the hurt that is,and when you see this same girl twenty years later,fat,wrinkled and working in Sainsbury's,you ask her how her life had been,and she has been divorced twice,four children,two from each,and she say's how badly she has been treated,and how men are not commited,but with the same breath say how clever she was,that she met her second husband while cheating on her first,the second one lasted only a short time to impregnate her and moved on.
Then she say's, you look good,we had a great time when we were younger i really liked you,it was a shame we did not make a go of it,would you like to meet up for a drink or something,that is the time to thank your lucky stars that she did dump you all those years ago,or you can end up with that,but as a afterthought,i wonder if she had any daughters and if they would like to come out for a drink or something?