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  1. #1
    Tyrael's Avatar
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    Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    I have been sentenced to death by my sister

    By LAURA ROBERTS - Last updated at 14:12pm on 24th March 2007

    A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.

    Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.

    His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.

    The human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.


    Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.

    He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
    "I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I canÂ’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.


    "We found a prayer in RebeccaÂ’s coat which said: 'Please donÂ’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."

    Helen PrettyÂ’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.

    Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.

    The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.

    Mr PrettyÂ’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."

    Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.

    Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.

    "I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'DonÂ’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'ItÂ’s very sad', and smirked."
    The family then received a letter from his sisterÂ’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.

    Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.

    She runs a private education business from her ÂŁ380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.

    Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.

    He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."

    Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."

    A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.

    "The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."

    A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.

    Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
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  2. #2
    dane's Avatar
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    The phrase" they have never been close" should have been a dead giveaway. There are many other factors at work, but one that really stands out is the sense of entitlement the 'brother' has--just for being sick.
    Why were they never close?
    Did either of them bully the other growing up? Was there some form of abuse in the family? Why is it that he sends other family members to "force their way into the home of the sister?
    Perhaps another negotiating strategy might be in order. For example, is there any offer to help defray the costs of being a donor?

  3. #3
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    I thought that women donate more organs and men receive more organs.

  4. #4
    Travis A. Ramirez's Avatar
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Well that sucks for him and his family. You'd think he'd have to have done something terrible to her to make his sister back out of being a donor. Otherwise she is a first class Cunt.
    SUPPORT THE POLICE!

    Kick your own ass.

  5. #5
    bonkers's Avatar
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    They're the caring sex, don'tya'know

    I couldn't live with myself for denying a total stranger . . never mind a family member . .. unbelievable

  6. #6
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Here's what I left:

    From two of the "more empathetic" crowd:

    Yeah right - he told the story to guilt his sister into doing it. I would like to hear the sister's reasons for not going through with this before I cast judgement.
    - Ann, Washington, DC, 23/3/2007 7:25

    Sure Ann, and if it was a man denying his sister - maybe because he thought she was "mean" you'd be so analytical .... NOT.

    --------------------------------------------------

    Who are we to judge? She must have good reasons not to be a donor.
    - Cath, UK,


    Wow Cath, I bet if YOU were dying you'd want someone to JUDGE.

    There is a big misconception about "not being judgemental" - it does not mean to never judge - it means not to have double standards or a lack of understanding before you DO judge.

    We have most of the facts, he freaking DYING. What exactly would Ann or Cath do to deserve dying? I imagine they'd not think of anything THEY have done to deserve to die horribly, but, hey, it's only a man, We're just desposable.

  7. #7
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    thats women for ya!

    One of the most tragic things that has happened because of the vile effects of feminism is that siblings of opposite genders have in many instances become drastically polarised.

    I think it probably effects those in middle age worse than any generation, as the 80's where I believe a time when misdandry was not recognised, but "misogyny" and "sexism" against women where highlughted massively..

    Thanks to the double whammy of thatcherism and the looney left in 80's britain, we had the biggest rise in divorce rates as the CS came in and men were battered from all sides..

  8. #8
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Quote Quote from haahoo View Post
    thats women for ya!

    One of the most tragic things that has happened because of the vile effects of feminism is that siblings of opposite genders have in many instances become drastically polarised.

    I think it probably effects those in middle age worse than any generation, as the 80's where I believe a time when misdandry was not recognised, but "misogyny" and "sexism" against women where highlughted massively..

    Thanks to the double whammy of thatcherism and the looney left in 80's britain, we had the biggest rise in divorce rates as the CS came in and men were battered from all sides..

    Thatcherism? Wasn't she an anti feminist conservative?

  9. #9
    MikeT's Avatar
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    Thumbs down Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Imagine that?,
    In later years the kids will ask "Mum, why did you let Uncle Simon die like that?

    A good answer would be "Because I am too much of a two-faced, up my own arse bitch"

    Also note in the article, it uses the terms common to the media these days.
    Her family, Her children.

    Organ or tissue donation is always likely to cause some sort of controversy,
    but this is just fucking rediculous, I would donate on the get-go to help out a fellow human being, family would be first in line.

    Meanwhile the guy is getting really aggressive chemo.
    If it was a woman that was about to die it would be called a crime and the search for a suitable donor would canvas the whole land.

    Imagine if the sexes were reversed?, you can bet a hundred feminists would be baying for that guy's blood.

    I hope that this woman has some idea of what she is doing, imagine going to that funeral?

  10. #10
    Travis A. Ramirez's Avatar
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Quote Quote from MikeT View Post
    Imagine that?,
    In later years the kids will ask "Mum, why did you let Uncle Simon die like that?

    A good answer would be "Because I am too much of a two-faced, up my own arse bitch"

    Also note in the article, it uses the terms common to the media these days.
    Her family, Her children.

    Organ or tissue donation is always likely to cause some sort of controversy,
    but this is just fucking rediculous, I would donate on the get-go to help out a fellow human being, family would be first in line.

    Meanwhile the guy is getting really aggressive chemo.
    If it was a woman that was about to die it would be called a crime and the search for a suitable donor would canvas the whole land.

    Imagine if the sexes were reversed?, you can bet a hundred feminists would be baying for that guy's blood.

    I hope that this woman has some idea of what she is doing, imagine going to that funeral?
    it is unfortunate that she won't help her own family, but no one is obligated to give another their organs.
    SUPPORT THE POLICE!

    Kick your own ass.

  11. #11
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Quote Quote from Travis A. Ramirez View Post
    it is unfortunate that she won't help her own family, but no one is obligated to give another their organs.

    Men are socially obligated to do so.

    Btw the man already died.

  12. #12
    Kim's Avatar
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Quote Quote from musicman.2 View Post
    Men are socially obligated to do so.

    Btw the man already died.
    I don't think your first observation is accurate, MM. Statistically, women are more likely to be living organ donors than men and wives are more likely to donate to their husbands than vice versa. Hypotheses on the reasons abound, I tend to think it has something to do with men generally being the main financial support of their families and holding jobs that would be difficult, if not impossible, to do having undergone such surgeries and having donated organs.

    That being said, I do think it was a selfish decision the sister made, one that, sadly, ended with her brother's death; a death that possibly could have been avoided.
    "Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love; every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle; every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self-control; every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by being, doing, and living of good for the very good’s sake—that is spirituality." -David O. McKay

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

    http://equalbutdifferent.blogspot.com/

  13. #13
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Quote Quote from Kim View Post
    I don't think your first observation is accurate, MM. Statistically, women are more likely to be living organ donors than men and wives are more likely to donate to their husbands than vice versa. Hypotheses on the reasons abound, I tend to think it has something to do with men generally being the main financial support of their families and holding jobs that would be difficult, if not impossible, to do having undergone such surgeries and having donated organs.

    That being said, I do think it was a selfish decision the sister made, one that, sadly, ended with her brother's death; a death that possibly could have been avoided.

    I thought male bodies were much more likely to reject female organs than vice versa. but it does say something if this "good" act women do is moved by nothing more than keeping the paycheck , beast of burden husband around.


    Also consider organs of those who have died in car crashed for example. I think more men actually do end up dying young. So women might be more willing to donate organs more men end up doing so. Maybe. I don't have any figures on this.

  14. #14
    Kim's Avatar
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Quote Quote from musicman.2 View Post
    I thought male bodies were much more likely to reject female organs than vice versa. but it does say something if this "good" act women do is moved by nothing more than keeping the paycheck , beast of burden husband around.


    Also consider organs of those who have died in car crashed for example. I think more men actually do end up dying young. So women might be more willing to donate organs more men end up doing so. Maybe. I don't have any figures on this.
    MM, not everything fits neatly into your men-good, women-bad views. And we're talking specifically about "living organ donors" not people who have died in accidents, although women are statisitically more likely to mark themselves down as organ donors upon their death as well.

    As I've said before, the truth is bad enough on it's own. Any time it is manipulated or twisted in an effort to support one's points only serves to undermine those points.
    "Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love; every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle; every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self-control; every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by being, doing, and living of good for the very good’s sake—that is spirituality." -David O. McKay

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

    http://equalbutdifferent.blogspot.com/

  15. #15
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    Re: Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life

    Quote Quote from Kim View Post
    MM, not everything fits neatly into your men-good, women-bad views. And we're talking specifically about "living organ donors" not people who have died in accidents, although women are statisitically more likely to mark themselves down as organ donors upon their death as well.

    As I've said before, the truth is bad enough on it's own. Any time it is manipulated or twisted in an effort to support one's points only serves to undermine those points.
    Maybe but the fact of the matter is the difference is negligible as most people don't undergo transplants. I do agree with your reason on why more women give organs. Of course that same reason could explain why men needed organs in the first place.


 

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