Nervous Men Kill off the Office Romance

**Celtic Druid** · 9th-October-2006

We've had the absurdity of the thoroughly debunked glass ceiling and glass cliff - pseudo scientific claims. Now, ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the latest addition, to the fems ever expanding repertoire of nonsense - the "glass partition."

Men can lose their job, face criminal charges, lose friends, family, face depression and even contemplate/commit suicide, merely on the utterance of a few vindictive words by some psycho-skank.

However the author Kim Elsesser, co-author of Glass Partition proclaims that it is women who suffer most from mens (rightful) reluctance to deviate beyond the task at hand as proscribed within their job description.

It's interesting how 75% of men felt at risk of being accused of sexual harassment when engaging with female colleagues, whilst 'no suprise' only 5% of women expressed a similar concern. Telling isn't it!

The "glass partition" is the product of draconian measures implemented by feminism via human resources in the office enviroment, with an agenda to "secure control of men" in the three key areas 1. Home 2. The social enviroment 3. Work enviroment. Now the fems are working on the 4th, the internet - the last bastion.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article...4059_1,00.html

The Sunday Times October 08, 2006

Nervous men kill off the office romance

Roger Dobson and Yuba Bessaoud

A SERIES of high-profile harassment cases has sparked the first signs of "segregationÂ” in the workplace as relationships between the sexes are disrupted by mutual suspicion.

Men are self-censoring innocent compliments and office banter when in mixed company, killing off office romance, according to a study by psychologists at the University of California, Los Angeles.

The academics have identified the emergence of a "glass partitionÂ” between the sexes that, they say, is also damaging the career prospects of women.

Kim Elsesser, co-author of Glass Partition: Obstacles to Cross-sex Friendships at Work, published in the academic journal Human Relations said: "The unintended consequence of sexual harassment awareness is that women suffer from menÂ’s uncertainty on how to behave.

"While it is mostly the men who feel restricted in what they say, unfortunately the career implications affect the women because the men have the power and women have a hard time befriending men."

"Just as the glass ceiling prevents women from reaching the top of organisations, the glass partition prevents women from making the friendships that could help their careers.Â” She said rules intended to discourage romantic relationships were also making it harder to form work friendships.

Sexual harassment cases can trigger changes in the rest of the workforce. Phillip Randall, 32, is a middle manager at a small financial services company. He had been working there for six years when he was accused of sexual harassment by a female colleague. He insisted on using a pseudonym because the case is still being investigated.

He said that the office atmosphere had soured. "ItÂ’s affected the liveliness of the whole workplace. It used to be such an enjoyable environment."

"The other staff donÂ’t go out for drinks as a group. There is an atmosphere of Â‘who can I talk to?Â’ They send fewer e-mails around the office because they are scared someone will take offence."

"It makes things difficult because as a manager youÂ’ve got to relate to your staff.Â”

The academic researchers found evidence of one of the most significant shift in attitudes since the influx of women into the workforce in the 1960s.

They found that 75% of male workers constantly considered the risks of being accused of sexual harassment when talking to female colleagues. Humour was considered one of the most risky areas.

Conversely, only 5% of women said they had to watch what they said around men but 66% noticed that men seemed inhibited. The researchers conducted in-depth interviews with 41 professionals.

Jane Mann, head of employment at Fox Williams, a City law firm, said sexual harassment legislation in the UK was creating similar patterns.

"People are much more wary of banter in the workplace and much more concerned about whether they are saying or doing the right thing."

"Often we have managers who say: Â‘I will not interview a young woman on my own or travel on my own with someoneÂ’.Â”

Long working hours and the rise in the proportion of women in the workforce exacerbate the problem. Many companies have attempted to avoid conflicts by adopting "love contractsÂ”, spelling out the rules for romantic engagement. Some forbid relationships between managers and their staff.

Sadie Whitelocks, 19, who was employed with Esprit, a London catering firm, has experienced the pitfalls of office romances. "Earlier this year I was involved with someone I worked with and would never do it again.

When you break up it is so awkward, because you (still) have to see them every day. ItÂ’s awful.

"I am not surprised some companies stop their employees getting into relationships. It can stop their staff being productive and give people opportunities to say theyÂ’ve been sexually harassed when it goes wrong.Â”

Ani Blakeway, 53, a PA who lives in Lewisham, southeast London, said: "I would never get involved with someone in my office, itÂ’s looking for trouble. These days, women can find a boyfriend in other places than work Â— they are more independent, they travel around the world, go out clubbing, thereÂ’s more opportunity.Â”

Additional reporting: Madeleine Brettingham, Claire Newell

**Dr David Banner** · 9th-October-2006

Celtic druid
Ta for the article NOTICE ANYTHING?????
Nervous men kill off the office romance

Meaning blame men for it
Nervous =those spineless men kill- destroy our career prospects by being suspicious HOW DARE YOU NASTY MEN be supicious...and not ask us on dates.

However the author Kim Elsesser, co-author of Glass Partition proclaims that it is women who suffer most from mens (rightful) reluctance to deviate beyond the task at hand as proscribed within their job description.

As you say CD

.....they blame you know who!!! the glass partition eh?
The barrier would not possibly be the finite
limits of the real world bumping against her
infinite ego?The limits of mens endurance of more than 20 years of accusatory hysteria promoted by the media and others.

WHAT SELF INDUCED MYOPIA WHAT UTTER INCREDIBLE TWADDLE....PURE SELFISHNESS
who suffers most ? who suffers most,who suffers MOST?????
AAAARGGGGGggggggHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
FAAAAAAAACK WOT IS THE POINT!!
I saw a bill board for a tabloid:
DOES YOUR MAN VISIT HOOKERS?
I NEVER SAW A HEADLINE LIKE THIS
below never will....
IS YOUR WOMAN A HOOKER?
NOW YOU KNOW WHY WE HATE THE MEDIA....at AM....

May they be dogged with multiple computer crashes,worse than windows 98 and mechanical failure and lose millions of readers,listeners viewers....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Yan Yan** · 9th-October-2006

May they be dogged with multiple computer crashes,worse than windows 98 and mechanical failure and lose millions of readers,listeners viewers....HAHA!

I'm sure it could be arranged Brad

.

BTW, I've noticed that you went 'cold turkey' on the big fonts but there's still a lingering dependence on bold type. When I were but a lad, the Italians used to say, "Piano, piano (softly, softly)". Now they say, "Tegadizi!"

Thanks too CD. Aren't Roger Dobson and Yuba Bessaoud just the cutest little gossips? We're just dying to invite them to our next coffee-morning.

**Marx** · 9th-October-2006

This is certainly a good & bad article.
They recognise that sexual harassment has created a sterile environment for workers. I have my own similar story, but back from my 'factory' days.
I was the second fastest worker on my line and within two weeks of employment had been promoted to Quality Assurance for a very large optical retailer in England (so if you're glasses are wrong - blame me). Anyway, for the time I was working at a machine, I was stationed between two women. The one who was closer to my age would often banter with me about almost anything. We'd share jokes, stories, memories and so forth. Many of her jokes were crude & sexually orientated and I won't pretend I don't have (or didn't at that time) my own hord of sexually natured jokes, one liners & such.
Out of the blue, I got called into the office. It was put to me that I was 'too' forward in my humour, regardless that it may be in good faith. Once I'd managed to collect my jaw from the floor, I explained that it was a two-way street and if she was so offended then she should consider how crude some of her jokes were. My supervisor knew where I was coming from, as she was... well known.. throughout the factory for idling away many an hour chit-chatting with any & every body - no matter how far away they may be from where her workstation was.
Anyway, he did call her in the office too. After she came out, I blanked her a few days. Then, I was informed about my promotion. I told her, explained that it would seperate us - and thanked her graciously for bumping my name up the career ladder.
I took immense pleasure in looking from the QA office down on to the factory floor.

**Rob** · 9th-October-2006

Here's an odd thought that I'm having:

Do any insurance companies sell policies to protect employers from sexual harassment law suits in the same way that doctors buy malpractice insurance? There must be some that are out there that do this, or at least have looked at doing this.

And, if an insurance company does offer this, you can guarantee that they will have untainted statistics to ensure that they "win the bet" more often than they "lose the bet."

So, it would also make sense that your insurance premiums for such an insurance would rise proportionately to the amount of women you employ... and therefore it is a clear cut case that even when paying a woman the same wage, she is more expensive to employ and therefore hiring discrimination against her is legally justified - just like your driving record can prevent you from getting a job because of insurance reasons.

Just a thought, wonder if anyone knows of such insurance?

**bola** · 9th-October-2006

In Holland they're just about to pass a law that reverses the burden of proof between employer and employee in sexual harassment cases.

**Yan Yan** · 9th-October-2006

Quote from Rob

Here's an odd thought that I'm having:
Do any insurance companies sell policies to protect employers from sexual harassment law suits in the same way that doctors buy malpractice insurance? There must be some that are out there that do this, or at least have looked at doing this.
And, if an insurance company does offer this, you can guarantee that they will have untainted statistics to ensure that they "win the bet" more often than they "lose the bet."
So, it would also make sense that your insurance premiums for such an insurance would rise proportionately to the amount of women you employ... and therefore it is a clear cut case that even when paying a woman the same wage, she is more expensive to employ and therefore hiring discrimination against her is legally justified - just like your driving record can prevent you from getting a job because of insurance reasons.
Just a thought, wonder if anyone knows of such insurance?

A penny for your thoughts Rob. The premium would be tax-deductible, naturally.
But what if the employer sought to recover the costs of the premium, by salary deduction, from all employees. both male and female? Males would then pay more to protect themselves and their employers from claims by litiginous females who would get get free legal help from 'wymmins centres' funded by government.
Excellent idea, but it needs some further thought!

**Celtic Druid** · 9th-October-2006

Ok, so I posted this reply to the same story I posted at niceguys. It's still relevant though.

I would liken any unwillingness to engage with women in the workplace, beyond your job description to be that of a necessary "scorched earth" policy, a preemptive secured insurance 'of sorts' by virtue of our non-participation or absence.

Give them nothing to feed off, starve them of emotionally kindled interaction, communicate (only when necessary) in a brief stoical emotionless automaton manner, let them inherit the consequences of their gleefully spiteful collusion in this social engineering experiment. There should be no reverting back to how thing's were, because women are being bitten in the ass by the beast they helped create. That time has been and gone.

**Celtic Druid** · 9th-October-2006

Here's a hilarious video unashamedly poached from elsewhere on sexual harassment.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkyhVZWY3ls"]

[/ame]

**myce** · 10th-October-2006

Some women probably do get harassed at work, but I am of the opinion that most lawsuits are brought on by those who cannot or will not defend themselves, or they see getting offended as a way to make a profit. They have ruined it for everyone. Men are rightfully nervous and women are likely to be discriminated against for getting jobs or promotions since employers and colleages are afraid of them. Litigation is out of control. But maybe if women recognize that it is mostly women who have created the "glass partition" then sexual harassment plaintifs will be treated with more suspicion. Or is that too optimistic thinking?

**Rob** · 10th-October-2006

This is what is so frustrating for men, Myce. I know you mean well with what you just said...but, how about there is just no more such thing as sexual harassment laws period! How about we just let it get covered by the same laws as two men would have between eachother - things like regular assault laws, or regular harassment laws. NO special laws for women in the workplace at all, no lawsuits.

It may surprise women, but many men have to establish boundaries between themselves and others in the workplace, too. There are assholes everywhere you look. It's almost certain when you start a new job that there is some prick out there trying to sabatoge you, men deal with it and earn the respect of their co-workers. Sometimes it is even done after work, behind the building, with a few smart words.

Why can't women just expect the exact same thing at work that men do? If she's getting hit on and doesn't like it, why doesn't she just bust his balls and get everyone to laugh at him and leave it at that? Women have to stop this "yeah but" nonsense, always insinuating that there are certain cases where women are justified to act in this way. If women can't handle the social aspects of the workplace as well as men, then they should consider staying at home. It's just like DV laws...why do we have them? We already had laws that made assault illegal.

Personally, I can't stand working near women. They are catty and they backstab everyone around them. I avoid them like the plague because I've been screwed over in the workplace just one too many times by even being friendly to them, like I am with the men. It usually follows along the "When" not "If" logic. As soon as they get bitchy to me, I just snarl at them and try to keep them away from me. Who cares about the sexual harassment even, the cattiness of having women around is pretty damaging already.

I worked in one place where there was myself, one other guy and 6 women. Wow... I just kept my mouth shut aside from "hello" and "goodbye", and if I had been the boss, they all would have gotten the boot. All the sabatoging, the "****ing bitch" conversations in the corners, the running and whining to the boss trying to get eachother in trouble. I only worked there for a few months and it was the most miserable place to work, what a hellhole the women made it. And the poor other guy was stupid enough to try and get along with them... big mistake for him, eventually all the women were sabatoging him behind his back. Yup, "Hello" and "Goodbye" is all that a man should say to women in the workplace.

Men should be able to sue for "Bitchiness Harrassment" and then women would understand how men feel about how women run around in the work place.

It's impossible to have a pleasant workplace with "enitlement princesses" sitting in the cubicles next to you. Quit and go dig ditches. Save your grey cells.

**myce** · 10th-October-2006

Rob
I'm not aware of laws about sexual harassment but thought it was a civil or judicial matter gotten out of control, like with the lady who sued McDonald's because the coffee was too hot. I agree there is no reason to give special treatment for women. If someone is getting severely mistreated at work then there should be some legal protection for them. But usually people ought to be able to solve their problems on their own or with their supervisor's help. Personally I haven't had too many problems with people I worked with. I can think of three that have given me major headaches- one man and two women.

**Dr David Banner** · 10th-October-2006

I have met men in the office who were bastards.Exchanged angry words.
Then that was that over and done with.
On another thread I described the treatment I got when working in an office with women.It was just awful.They sexually harrassed
me lied and damaged with impunity,whereas the harrassment laws that were brought in made it clear one step one word out of line.You are in hot water you male wretch.The union guy was creepy and encouraged
feminism at every turn and tried to get a womens officer.Helping stir up
trouble he was gay and did not hide his feminism and berated the women for not being more feminist....LOL...I could go on..

I have reached the conclusion that men and women should be segregated at work.The way things are going it will be social segregation outside of work too.So many women have told me they are independent.Nows a chance for them to do their own thing without men.I never ever wanted this,nor did most men thats the way it happens to be these days after so much injustice and evil.I tried to explain what was going on women just dont believe you and plenty of men just shrugged as well.

I met one women from another office
who said to me "How can you stand working with women "
It was the 80's.I gave her a knowing look..
"Yeah"I said and 2 months later I quit.I have worked on and of
freelancing and part time ever since with a very fluctuating income.
Twice female managers stopped highly successful projects I was undertaking to give more opportunities to women.There are hardly any men left in the few venues I have left.Increasingly I just work independently and will do so more in the future.I advise men to do same.
It is just too risky elsewhere.

**bola** · 10th-October-2006

"While it is mostly the men who feel restricted in what they say, unfortunately the career implications affect the women because the men have the power and women have a hard time befriending men."

I wonder what will happen once this situation is reversed, and the women have the power in the office. The men will probably leave in droves.

**Celtic Druid** · 10th-October-2006

Quote from Brad

On another thread I described the treatment I got when working in an office with women.It was just awful.They sexually harrassed
me lied and damaged with impunity

I've experienced this years ago within an office enviroment. I've had women grabbing my ass and crotch, rub their crotches and breasts against me. This was when I was 18. The attitude was I should somehow be grateful, and if I resisted I must automatically be gay.

I don't consider the "multiple" experiences as making me a victim, not at all, I'd just like to be able to decide as to which woman (if at all) gets that close. That for me is blatant sexual harassment, yet some women today receive millions because a man has uttered a few innocent words, or an elongated stare. It's ridiculous.

Taking that as a sliding scale, I'd say my experiences must logically therefore be worth Â£500 million, at least. Oop's, wrong gender! Womens sexual harassment, sexism and chauvinism in the workplace is totally ignored - as it operates under the flag of empowerment and girl power.